Why You Can’t Be The Prettiest Girl in the World

The other day I was surfing the Guinness World Records website at work. (Trust me, I was doing actual work.) Scrolling through it, I stumbled across an odd but useful list for aspiring record-breakers: A catalogue of feats for which Guinness will not award records. After all, just because they recognize "Hairiest Teenager" and "Heaviest Weight Lifted by Nipples" doesn't mean they don't have standards. A few items from the list of records Guinness says you'll never see, organized by category:


– Records based on the killing or harming of animals.

– We do not endorse speed records for travelling over large distances on horseback, because of concerns over the welfare of [...]


All Tweens to the Backseat

"All children should sit in the back seat until they’re 13 years old." New guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics give powerful ammunition to all teens wishing to destroy their younger brothers and sisters in the battle for riding shotgun.


Math Song Friendly But Firm

It's called the three-second rule, like the kind of rules you had in school.



No Phone 4 U!

"The seven oldest children have cellphones, and text messages must contain proper grammar and spelling. No 'doen' or 'How r u?' or the kids lose their phones. The dads do spot-checks on the phones." —Just one of the very smart rules that a gay couple in Arizona has instituted to keep their 12 adopted kids in line. If only there was a way to make this a law for texters of all ages.