high school
10

The Prom King on Instagram, 10 Years After the Party

When I was a junior in high school, I decided that I wanted to become popular. Fortuitously, my scientist parents were about to make the one wanton decision that they would ever make in their lives: leaving me home alone for a weekend, along with my little brother.

Normally ones to frown upon any vacation not spent in a tent, my parents made this special exception for Maine, a place where they could remain on their rigorous work schedule. They’d planned a quintessential rise-at-dawn, sleep-by-dusk experience: stilted breakfast conversations with strangers at inns, jaunts to folksy outlet stores, and long walks along punishing rocky coasts. Lost in their excitement, neither [...]

71

Yearbook Poetry

I found this 1990 grade school yearbook the other day at the junk shop where I work, and it's a mimeographed goldmine of clip art, candid photos, and unedited student poetry. Please enjoy.

11

Canadians: Not Yet Sexy Enough to Dominate in Mock Trial Summits

From an absurdly touching little piece in today's Globe and Mail on the plucky team from Mississauga vigorously attempting to overcome a few hundred years of our dry, tightly-reasoned legalistic tradition in order to compete with hopped-up New Yorkers raised on DUH DUH DUH:

“I’ve sat in mock trials in Ontario where at the end the judge would say, ‘Your hand gestures, you did a bit too much of it, it was a little bit distracting,’ ” said the team’s coach and law teacher, Anthony Clarizia. “Down there, they’re actually telling the kids, ‘We want it to be just like Law & Order.’ ”

Excelsior, young Canadians! They [...]

3

Sandra Bullock's Guide to Picking Up Guys

"I learned the words because I liked this guy in high school and I was like, next time I go to that dance I'm gonna know every word, and I'm gonna make sure he sees me lip-syncing it, and I'm gonna catch his eye, and I'm gonna, like, say the words, and he's gonna like me. And, sadly, it worked."

-Sandra Bullock knows every word to "Rapper's Delight." (Queue future Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet: "1/2: Mysteries of #Gravity: Space is a vacuum and there is no sound. There's no way the crush in question could hear her rap and thus the" "2/2: mission would surely fail.")

284

Back to School Clothes

It's back-to-school time! Nooo! Isn't school horrible? Yes. Does the lighting in your school's bathroom ruin your self-esteem? Yes. Do you remember anything you've ever learned? No. What I remember more vividly than anything I learned is the outfit I wore on the first day of high school: Converse One Star sneakers, JNCO jeans, a purple tank top, and a dog collar. A fashion masterpiece. And you? If you tell us what you wore, I'll give you a dollar and some cheese fries.

2

Cool Kids Are Mean

Science confirms that popular kids are mean to the less-popular. Aww, so sad! Maybe everyone should bring their mom with them.

154

Michele, Will You Go to the Prom With Me?

"Our girls are not allowed to [ask boys to the prom] in our house. They have to wait for the boys to call." —As the Hairpin has fast become many people's No. 1 source for political information, it seems appropriate that we should bring you the news that Michele Bachmann didn't go to prom because no one asked her, and that she doesn't believe in girls inviting boys. I asked a boy to prom, is that why [everything]?

218

Breaking Up Is Hard for Teens to Do

"Roberto, you’re really going to run all the way to your house after school to change your status?"

"When I’m done with a relationship, I’m not going to wait a day, an hour or even 10 minutes to update my status. When it’s over, it’s over. I’m done with you."

High-schoolers these days are so Facebook-crazed that they've forgotten how to properly break up with one another, which is to page the guy you like "143" and then tell your boyfriend you're dating someone else. Mmm, high-school breakup stories?