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The Post-Antibiotic World Sounds Terrifying

In case you missed this Medium piece by Maryn McKenna last week (I did), it's the most legitimately scary thing on the internet right now. Antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria are evolving faster than ever:

As antibiotics became more affordable and their use increased, bacteria developed defenses more quickly. Methicillin arrived in 1960 and methicillin resistance in 1962; levofloxacin in 1996 and the first resistant cases the same year; linezolid in 2000 and resistance to it in 2001; daptomycin in 2003 and the first signs of resistance in 2004.

This means that new antibiotics, which cost about $1 billion to develop, are becoming less and less attractive to pharmaceutical companies; [...]

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How to Fail for a Month, Year, or Decade and Be Okay

I've been a published fiction writer for the past 12 years and haven't published a new book in 10 of those, which is not to say I haven’t written more material, it’s just that everything I write is consistently, unanimously rejected. I don't normally advertise this information, but it's routinely extracted from me. In bars, at dinner parties, even minding my own business on airplanes or among close friends — everyone wants to give me advice. Maybe you should become a schoolteacher? A paralegal? How about a nurse? A nurse in a psych ward? 

Because advice-giving can be contagious — once you get some, you really want to give some [...]

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How to Quit Smoking in One Easy Step: Get Pneumonia in a Hurricane

Last time we spoke I told you all about how hideously old I am becoming. Now, as a grim preview of your own future, I have a quick update on my march toward the retirement community: the tale of my recent adventure with pneumonia.

I started getting sick two weeks before Hurricane Sandy hit. I was yawning a lot, and I had that barely-there twinge behind the eyes that you feel before a standard autumnal cold comes on. I wasn’t really paying any attention, but then it hit me in force at the office, and I went home early and changed into pajamas. They’ve been cleaned since, but I’m [...]

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515 Steps to a Better Life

As Metafilter points out, the tip-aggregation lists from Buzzfeed's Peggy Wang have become their own kind of art form. This one is particularly eye-opening.

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New Old Wives' Tales

The best cure for warts is true love’s first kiss.

If you watch the entirety of How I Met Your Mother, back-to-back and without breaks, you will go blind.

Those little flies that sometimes buzz annoyingly around your face are the physical embodiments of unpleasant things people are saying about you at that moment.

If you're a little chilly, drink a six-pack of cheap beer.

Kale is the devil’s eyebrows.

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Pickup Lines If Sitting Is the New Smoking

"Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation" Harvard Business Review

"Hi. Can I sit there for a sec?"

"Here, let me." [Puts out an arm, helps attractive stranger down onto seat.]

"I know I shouldn't, but I just feel like, 'ahh' " — [pantomimes general craziness] — "and longevity isn't the same as quality of life, you know?" [Sits for hours.]

[Places a hand over the seat of a chair someone's about to sit on, looks at them expectantly.] "May I?" [If person nods, quickly sweeps off lint or whatever's there.]

"Want to go out back and sit down?"

[Sits down and sinks erotically into chair, making flirtatious eye [...]

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The Kindness of Strangers Who Happen to Be in a Helicopter When You Need One

This is a video of a foul-mouthed (he says the F-word, and others!) daredevil sweetheart, just being himself up there among the clouds. Specifically, "fishing out a P-51 Mustang model airplane with a Robinson R-22." Note the cigarette, the "I have all three controls" at :20, and your own gut-wrenching inability to "watch the tail." [via]

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A Guide to Coachella FOMO

It's finally here! Coachella FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) week. The time between the two Coachella weekends when all of the people you follow on Twitter and Instagram are in Indio, getting their face painted, chugging Pabst, and hooking up with people who are friends with that guy you know from internet, all portrayed in the sweet, sweet glow of filters. And you have to suffer from the fear of missing out on desert sunsets and lots of bare thighs.

If you're anything like me (hunkered down in your apartment, clinging to your duvet for dear life), you're probably wondering what you can do at home to make yourself feel [...]

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Google Searches During a Three-Day Juice Fast

After about a week of binge drinking, falafels, and Pad Thai during a recent trip to San Francisco, I decided to do a three-day juice fast. On day one, my pilates teacher asked me a silly question: “Did you eat clean before you decided to juice?”

I just laughed, and maybe nodded. Obviously, I ate clean. Who did she think I was? (But seriously, what does "eat clean" mean?)

The problem with this whole plan, it turns out, is that I like to eat. A whole lot. I wouldn’t qualify as a foodie, since I’m not entirely sure what that means, but I missed eating enough to cycle through all five [...]

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The Instructions Needed to Build an Ikea Bookshelf

1. Place the wooden pegs into the side of the large board.

2. Put the screws into the same board. There are two almost identical types of screws, so you’ve got a 50/50 chance of using the right one.

3. Put the two small boards on top of the large board.

4. The small boards are facing the wrong way. Do it again.

5. Get the other large board to put on top of the small boards. Does it already have a scratch on it?  Too bad.

6. Twist the plastic holders to keep your screw in place. You weren’t given any extra holders and they break easily because we [...]