My girlfriend and I have been going through a rough patch lately. In fact, we were on the verge of breaking up, then we decided to stick it out, but then the zombie apocalypse broke loose and suddenly we both had a lot on our plate and not much energy left over to process and get our relationship back on track. I just found out that she was bitten by a zombie, but has been covering up the wound (which is about two days old and looks really nasty) while she tries to figure out a way to cure the virus. I feel betrayed by the fact that she [...]
It's our firmly held belief that Halloween is far more important than Christmas, and therefore more deserving of a countdown calendar. It is, after all, the most wonderful time of the year: there are parties and costumes and terrifying things like Martha Stewart, and candy and then more candy and then even more candy, and your ability to consume that much candy is a marvelous thing to behold.
So, in celebration of the Highest of High Holidays, we're bringing back our Halloween Advent Calendar. We'll post one or two Halloween-y pieces a day in the 13 days leading up to October 31. Why 13 days? Because 13 is [...]
I love October because, for thirty-one days, I am allowed to watch all the horror movies I want without anyone thinking I’m deranged. (I also like cider.) Granted, I pretty much watch all the horror movies I want during the rest of the calendar year, but it’s a little harder to start a conversation with a colleague by saying, “What did you do this weekend? I had a little Carpenter marathon and watched The Fog and The Thing. Yeah, alone, in my own room. You know the part in The Thing where the thing takes over the huskies, and that huge weird mouth thing bursts out of one of them? [...]
Thematic tourism can be great (it also can be exploitative, which is not so great). Since it's October, the witchiest, most magical month, we've rounded up 13 of the hocus-y pocus-y museums around the world.
1. Museum of Witchcraft, Cornwall, UK Cornwall is the mother of all witchcraft museums, which we mention by way of asking: who wants to go on a field trip? The museum's website notes that important events in its history have fallen on Samhain and Hallowe'en. Their Twitter feed is bananas and delightful and the reason that I follow Cornish Folklore. Also the museum was founded by a [...]
Garfel: Over the years, Hans Christian Anderson’s Little Mermaid was radically changed from her original form. The sad, painful dancer who turns into depressed seafoam after her one true love weds another became Ariel, a sexy, wide-eyed redhead, who successfully wins her man without even a small jig. In this same manner, Garfel, an ancient Norse demon who kept little Vikings awake for centuries, has been softened for weak modern children. Once known as a mostly-dormant feline beast whose ravenous appetite and formidable rage exploded only at the beginning of each week, today he is a cat who is funnier when he is not even around. His nemesis, Odin, [...]
Day 1 hello hi hello oh oh hi there has to be someone here there really just has to be i dont want it just to be me here hello? oh oh i dont want it to just be me
Day 19 well this happens to be a phone I couldn’t really say about the others so nobody knows then I didn’t say that Some of them don’t wind up here or some of them do but not all of them or not for very long I can’t make you any promises you won’t end up in a cactus for a time or a cursed and collapsing star or a [...]
I’ve talked about makeup as magic before—it bleeds through my work. Sometimes I take the message literally and make beauty a ritual to do in the dark. And you know, it’s always worked, even if not entirely in the ways you would expect it to. Here are a few of my favorite spells.
13 Things That All Women in Their Twenties Who Are Possessed by Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, Are Sick Of Hearing
1. "But how is painting upside down crucifixes with ram's blood going to help you pay off your student loan debts?" How are *your* dumb questions going to help me pay off my debt?
2. "You'd be so pretty if you just smiled more and kept your neck turned at a normal angle." Sorry we can't all be as basic as you!
Before you suggest it – in fact, before you even think it — let me stop you right there: Yes, I have already been Daria for Halloween. I’m sure any bespectacled brunette with bangs and a penchant for monotone sarcasm has been told, year after year, “You know, you should be Daria for Halloween,” as if no one else had ever been clever enough to make that connection before, including myself. Been there. Done that, in 2007. And no one knew who I was, despite a practically spot-on outfit.
And Waldo. Of course I’ve been Waldo. I kept a red-and-white-striped shirt in my wardrobe years after it ceased to exist [...]