get it together evolution
28

Snub-Nosed Monkey Unwilling to Have Hideous Snub-Nosed Baby

…so has one forcibly extracted from her by snub-nosed monkey midwife:

A female monkey gave birth to her first infant within fifteen minutes late one morning. While sitting in a rhododendron tree, she began twisting her body and calling faintly. After 10 minutes she started screaming, and then another female climbed up the tree. She was an experienced mother, and sat beside the labouring female while the crown of the infant's head appeared. Once the head was fully exposed, the "midwife" pulled the baby out with both hands and ripped open the birth membranes.

No, that's great, and pretty cool. Also, the monkey told everyone in her due [...]

38

"WTF, Creation?" Works Just as Well

The geniuses behind WTF, Evolution? ponder the reasoning behind all creatures grotesque and slimy and parasitic and inexplicably mustached:

“You fixed it? What did you do, give the elephant seal more protective mucus? A better immune system? Stronger nose hairs?”

“Nope! That all seemed too hard. I just made a nose-picking bird.”

“A nose-picking bird.”

“Works great!”

We learned about the existence of horrible-looking snub-nosed monkeys (“Damn it! I ran out of noses. Maybe I shouldn’t have put so many on the fish.”) which is a phobia we didn't even know we had. Kickstarter to put proper noses on snub-nosed monkeys, pls:

The impulse for mating starts [...]