How Not to Write Something
1. Don’t have a deadline. Or if you do have a deadline, make it a deadline that you made up in your head and your agent or editor agreed to when you said it out loud but then you quickly dismissed it, much like you dismissed the established required hours of your work-study job back in college, because who’s really keeping track? Certainly not you. Deadlines, schmeadlines! You'll get to it when you get to it, which is to say, never.
2. Keep a close eye on your Twitter account. Important things may be said there that you will be expected to weigh in on, [...]