Hi you lever-hitting-cocaine-rats, it's been a while. I totally ran out of old books. Now I only read current non-fiction (mostly true, but I also read the Hunger Games trilogy. Und3rwh3lm3d, or "wh2lm2d" as the current joking goes). Plus I got a new job (true). Plus I busted up my arm rollerskating at a bachelorette party (true).

Which old book(s) should I read if I really just want to watch Downton Abbey, but can't because season three probably won't air in the US for ages and ages? I want lavish settings, flawed but fabulous heroines, complicated romance, the works. Thank you!

“I want a book with a dad, a MILF, [...]

Happy Holidays, Hairpin. How's locking yourself in the hallway bathroom with a mug full of wine going? You'll come out when people RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES, that's when you'll come out. Better find a good old book to read in the meantime!

I wish I could just always only suggest old books to you forever, non-stop, for so long that during the time I am suggesting them, new books become old and we have MORE OLD BOOKS, which I would in turn suggest, and we would never die. However, I also want you to be able to meet your own old-book needs when I am not around because I’m out making [...]

My family is weird. Half of them don't speak to the other half; there was apparently serious family money at one point but now there is none; a cousin might have gotten a secret divorce (or else murdered her spouse, who has disappeared); and there is some legitimate religious fanaticism to throw into the mix. On top of the crazy stuff, there are the petty jealousies and one-upmanship, partly stemming from the fact that some of the cousins are very physically attractive, while others aren't, and that some of the cousins are successful in their careers, while others aren't (and the Venn diagram of these categories is constantly changing). [...]