This is the "wall to wall" conversation that a new couple I happen to be friends with on Facebook had over the span of a couple months. I thought it would be funny to make it continuous.

Do you know about Portland-based cartoonist Ben Dewey's Things Could Be Worse website? On it, he lists the worst things that could ever happen, and it is very sad. (Ben's been chronicling miseries since July; see more of his work here.) [Via]

This is the final installment of Relationshapes. Don’t pour yourself a drink; don’t slip into something comfortable. Just take a deep breath and remember this moment.

Come closer. I need to tell you something, but I don’t want everyone on the internet to hear: There are only four installments of Relationshapes left. (PAUSE FOR YOU TO SCREAM IN ANGUISH.) We need to take the most of our limited time left together — meet me under the stone archway at the edge of Website Village and I’ll sing you a song.

And now, on with the show!

Jim Behrle needs a new shrink.

The shadows are growing longer. Soon we’ll be plunged into darkness. This is the penultimate installment of Relationshapes!

Don your mourning veil, pour yourself a glass of the bitterest absinthe, put on some dystopian doom metal, and ENJOY.

Uh oh, they figured out that men are funnier than women because women can't write funny enough captions to New Yorker cartoons.

In this study, 400 university students (200 men and 200 women) completed measures of abstract reasoning (Raven's Advanced Progressive Matrices), verbal intelligence (the vocabulary subtest of the Multidimensional Aptitude Battery), humor production ability (rated funniness of captions written for three cartoons), and mating success (from the Sexual Behaviors and Beliefs Questionnaire). [...]

This study confirmed three predictions derived from a sexual selection model of humor: intelligence predicts humor ability, humor ability predicts mating success, and males show higher average humor ability.

I bought [...]

Like sands through the hourglass . . . so are the days of our Relationshapes. Slip into your loosest bra, pour yourself a glass of prosecco, run your fingers through your hair, and enjoy!

Actually, we only have three weeks left so we’d better get right to it: