Future In-Laws, Appealing Coworkers, and Lesbians With Interests (?!)
205
Transitions, Femme Baldness, and "INEXTINGUISHABLE PASSION"
Okay, A Queer Chick, here goes: my partner is a trans woman. When we met she was a man, and we've been together 15 years now. She transitioned about four years ago, and we went through all kinds of shit with therapy and counselling and anti-depressants and all that. We're pretty stable now, good communication, doing good overall. I love her even more than I loved him (as a man and a frustrated trans woman, she could be a definite asshole with the misdirected anger and all). But here's my problem: I don't know how to have sex with another woman! Her libido took a dive with the transition; we've fooled around [...]
144
Yoga Sirens, "Starey Dinners," and Gay Teens on TV
I have only ever gone out with men but recently met a girl I'm attracted to and who's become very important to me. As soon as we met, we became close friends straight away, and for the past few months have seen each other every weekend and do lots of datelike thinks like go for epic starey dinners and extremely long walks. However, I have *no idea* whether the thought of being anything other than friends has even crossed her mind. I know one option is to just *ask her already* but I'm really worried about harming the friendship. I'm trying to get a sense of whether this is [...]
154
Cheaters, Young People, and Advice for the "Straight-Looking"
I have a question about exes, specifically the idea (stereotype?) that all lady lovers are able to remain friends with their former lady loves. My current lady is on friendly terms with her ex girlfriend, something I am mostly cool with. It's not a jealously thing as much as it's a your-ex-is-a-giant-d-bag thing. They talk occasionally and we run into her at the various gay clubs in town, as there is a limited selection. We also hang with a crowd of their exes every once in a while. They have a whole L Word-Chart-BFF-with-my-ex sort of thing going on, which is fine with me.
However, I am not friends with my last gf, and when [...]
135
First Loves, Breakup Guilt, and Rainbows Painted With Watercolors
I've just found out that my very first love is pregnant. I found out through my bff, who is also pregnant. Back in the day, before I knew that these feelings I had for First Love meant I was queer (duh), we three were a posse. First Love and I don't have contact anymore, except through bff. I am not planning to be pregnant or have kids, and I'm fine with that. I'm also totally in love with my male partner, and have no regrets about giving up things I love about being single, including ladies. Nostalgia, but no regrets. But I've been feeling a bit restless the last [...]
119
Nagging Attractions and the Strategies of Lesbianism Convention (SLC)
Queer Chick, I would appreciate some sage advice. Or at least a moment of your thyme.
I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the past six years. She's a few years older than me, and while I'm not her first girlfriend, she's mine. I'm also what you'd call a gold star, despite classifying myself as bisexual (we both do. In Kinsean terms, I'm about a 2-3, she's about a 4-5). I got into this relationship when I was just out of my teens, in my final year of college. We moved in together relatively quickly (I know, cliché) and things got serious almost immediately.
We [...]
290
No Lesbian Shirt, No Lesbian Shoes, No Lesbian Service
So recently one of my best friends has become really good friends with a lesbian couple, and I've met them a few times and really like them. And they love going to lesbian bars and watching sexy Jell-o wrestling at said lesbian bars and stuff, and they've recently been inviting me (along with my bestie) out to bars with them and we've all been hanging out more. So far we haven't hit up a lesbian bar, but I know that it's coming, which I consider fair; if they're hanging out at the bars that I like, then I expect to return the favor for them. So my question is, [...]
363
Becoming a Better Lazy Vegetarian
I've recently gone mostly vegetarian. But most of my cheater, easy-through-the-week meals involve meat, so I'm struggling a bit to motivate myself to cook delicious food on weeknights. This week I ended up eating toast every evening and buying lunch, and now my wallet is empty. I also think I'm maybe not getting enough vitamin B? Or something? I was really anxious over the weekend and then I went out and got a burger and I felt better, but I really don't want to be doing that if I can avoid it. Do you have any tips on quick and easy meals, or things I can make sure to [...]
142
Pronouns, Unexpected Crushes, and the "Repressed Lesbian" Cliché
I've got a problem, and I don't know how to put it without possibly being offensive in some way. I'm seventeen and I've discovered that I like ladies. However, through circumstances (mostly religious ones), I've never actually spent more than five minutes in the presence of another lady-who-likes-ladies. And from what I've read, lesbianism as a culture is just as much a performance as gender is. There's no biological hardwiring that gets lesbians liking Indigo Girls or Tegan and Sara or motorbikes or whatever. So my question is this: as someone who has no access to a queer community (for the time being — hopefully, in a year or [...]
194
PDAs and the Lure of the Work Crush
Queer chick, this is a request for perspective, not advice: What is your stance on public lesbian makeouts? (Fun, tacky, dangerous, the exclusive domain of undergrads trolling for dick at a frat party?) As a straight girl who is trashy enough to appreciate the finer points of making out on the dance floor or during a shitty opening act at a concert, I imagine I would be too indignant to really go at it with a lady because of the whole troglodytic onlooker factor, but that's idle speculation. Your opinion?
I know everyone hates public displays of affection, but I am actually tacky enough to think they're kind of [...]
