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Helping the Heartbroken and Asking for Things

It seems lately I’ve had a rash of friends getting divorced or separated or broken up with after years and years in a relationship. Other than making mix tapes and talking and holding hands and taking sad phone calls, what is the best way to comfort a broken-hearted friend?

Fantasies, Photography, and “My Best Friend’s Boyfriend”

She knows I hate him, having said many mean things about him the last three times they broke up. I can’t be around him, I definitely can’t be around them together, and as of late I am so frustrated it is hard to be around her. What do I do, how do I get over this and get my best friend back?

How To Deal With Total, Complete, Utter, Devastating Heartbreak?

Everyone has to go through this at least once in order to be a whole human being, but it’s absolutely one of the worst things, Please take or leave the following suggestions, which will no doubt come across as trite, but have been proven to help.

I Read A Mean Email About Me

Literally everyone is saying bad things about you in it, right now. Me too. I mean, they’re saying bad things about me, and I’m saying bad things about you. Through the stratosphere whips a fine and infinite filament of bitchy stuff people are typing about other people. This is what we use our satellites for. THIS IS PROGRESS. And of course you’re not going to read people’s boring-ass emails, you are like, hitting the search for your name. Look, mostly people don’t think about you, sometimes they hate you and even less frequently, they like you. I mean, not you, one. Us. Each other.

Unmet Demands and the Eternal “Are You Sure You’re Sure?”

My long-term boyfriend and I are absolutely inseparable. We talk about anything and everything, and our communication is great. I’m a very, very sexual person and if something isn’t right I’m not afraid to speak up. For the past few months I’ve had little to no oral sex because he just doesn’t do it right. I’ve been trying to teach him for months. I’ve even demonstrated on him what I want him to do, to no avail.

My Breakup Is Frustrating, I Want A Better Job, Help Me Shave My Pubes

We are all going to the wedding of another member of our posse in a couple weeks (in a place we need to fly to) and she is bringing this guy, and all of us are dreading it. We don’t want to be like “we hate yo man” because that would make the wedding awkward and also we have already said it to her. But we don’t want to have to pretend to like him. How do we handle this? We want to be good friends and we are not afraid to dole out some tough love, but we don’t really know what that tough love entails in this situation.

Should I Worry About This Girl Who Is Trying To Be Me?

I am an avid accordion player (it’s fun!); after moving, Bea bought one. I mentioned a pair of shoes that I wanted; a week later, they were on Bea’s feet. I dyed my hair blond; a few weeks later, so did Bea. I broke up with my boyfriend; two weeks later, Bea started sleeping with him. I was already starting to put some distance between us when we happened to show up at the same party. I overheard Bea telling a story that I’d told her about a vacation I’d been on with a former paramour, except she was telling it from a first person perspective. She had subbed herself out for me.

How Do I Deal With My Horrible Boss?

I just started a new job (yay for jobs!), but my boss is very stressful. I am generally confident in my work and self, but she makes me feel pretty bad. Shaky, sweaty, mind-racing kind of bad. I think the problems are as follows: 1. I’m new and don’t know the job all that well. 2. She has a tendency to be really INTENSE about any small mistake made, to the point that I have been quadruple-checking my work and making myself crazy. 3. She is inconsistent about what makes her angry.

Attracting The Attractive When You’re Unattractive

Knowing that I’m unattractive doesn’t suddenly make me attracted to unattractive women. And at the same time, I know it’s unreasonable to expect an attractive woman to be attracted to an unattractive man. How can I either A) attract an attractive woman, or B) become attracted to an unattractive woman?

Boring Sex Routines, Coworker Jealousy, and “Le Baby Rat”

I read somewhere once that our sexual preferences, down to body hairdos, are greatly shaped by our first exposure to sexual imagery that turned us on. So, for younger guys that’s Jenna Jameson, and what started as a trend in the anal sex film niche of the early ’90s became almost a requirement for a whole generation of sexually active women seeking to bed someone their same age.

Face Moles, “Perfection,” and Shifting Dynamics

I recently met someone who is involved in an open relationship. I do genuinely like him and think he’s a kind-hearted person. However, I do not want to develop romantic feelings for him or end up feeling like a martyr mistress. Is this crazy? How do I steel myself against FEELINGS? Should I walk away before I feel like running?ow do I keep my own best interests protected in this situation? Is this crazy? How do I steel myself against FEELINGS? Should I walk away before I feel like running?

Revenge Tips, Infertility, and the Lumpy Lumberjack

What you want, for maximum knife-to-the-heart impact, is to act like someone who is, in fact, over it.

20 Things To Do Instead Of Smoking

Here’s your list. I’m not sure these are all more fun than smoking, but they are at least better in that they won’t kill you dead! Also, I tried to include activities that you could actually do rather than stuff like “Travel the galaxy with Jean Luc Picard” or “Wish for three more wishes.” Though I guess anything’s possible! Anyway!

Infidelity Fallout, Drug Habits, and Long-Distance Feelings

I’ve been married for about eight months now. My wife and I both lost our virginity to each other on our wedding night. After a few weeks of practice we’ve gotten to the point now where we have absolutely incredible sex, and we have it quite often. I’ve tried to go down on her a few times and after the second or third time she told me she didn’t want me to. She said there’s just other things that I do that she enjoys more.

Delicate Subjects, Erratic Cycles, and the “Best Friend”

When I was in my late twenties, my period basically went through its own version of puberty and acted out, going all crazy in every possible way. I recall a period that lasted for literally an entire month (just a little every day, hello again, and again!); a period that disappeared for months; an unrecognizably heavy period; a period that showed up for a day, then came back a week later; a period that spoke Catalan; and all manner of in-between-riods.

Some Advice About Sex, And Bars

Small Tongues, Large Other Things, and How to Go to a Bar by Yourself

Playing House, Cutting Ties, and Being Alone

His inability to find a job in the last few years makes marriage impossible, but it also makes breaking up difficult. For one thing, he’d have to find a new place to live. He currently pays half of my mortgage, which is much cheaper than the rent on any decent apartment he’d be able to find. Plus, he’s always (sort of?) joking that I’m the only thing that makes him happy. Throwing him out would devastate him, emotionally and financially.

On Adding or Keeping Distances

Moms, friends, guys: How far away should we keep them from ourselves?

How do I explain feminism to my boyfriend without alienating him?

Also, how do I make a breakup work and how bad should I feel about being the cheat-ee?

Smoking Alternatives, Troubled Parents, and the Unappealing Business Trip