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The Best Things Christian Women Told Me About Sex

Because we rarely see sex and religion intersecting in non-troubling ways, and because it’s unfortunate that “virgin” is a social punch line in a country where Plan B isn’t available over the counter, I called up a half-dozen Christian women this year and talked to them about sex.

Ask a Clean Person: Green Cleaning Alternatives

Here are some of the best tips for green alternatives to commercial cleaning products, random foodstuffs that will get your things clean, and landfill-saving tricks that will cut down on your shopping bill.

All the Weddings I Have Ever Been to, as I Remember Them

There was the one when I was a little girl. It was the wedding of relatives, people I’m not sure I knew then and certainly don’t know now. I wore a lavender dress with four tiers of ruffles and large, round glasses that my straight bangs rested directly on top of. I was more awkward than adorable.

How Bath-and-Beauty Stores Trick You Into Buying Lotion You Don’t Need

It’s happened to every woman I know: You walk into a pretty soap store just to browse, and you walk out with $100 worth of beauty products. You’re not sure how it happened, you’re not sure if you need the products, and you’re not even sure if you’re upset about losing $100.

How To Monetize Your Period

Out with the tampon tax, in with the tampon trade.

The Evolution of Ape-Face Johnson

Even if that someone had said, “Hey, your lips are ugly,” I could have responded to it with aplomb, or by shoving the plum in my lunchbag down their throat. But it was obvious that the racism in the comment was meant to single me out and slap me down, as is any racist remark to anyone. Racism isn’t about aesthetics or even DNA, though both are unfortunately employed as excuses to indulge in it — it’s about people deciding if you belong or not, if you have the same rights as they do, and I was being told I didn’t belong.

The Best Time I Accidentally Attended a Teenage Orgy

She gave me directions to her place and told me to show up around eight, which I thought was pretty late to start studying, but I figured she was so popular she must have lots of social engagements to attend after school or had to buy more hoop earrings and cutoffs.

When to Tell Someone They Might Be Gross

I’m not asking him to change his sort of geeky but mostly adorable personality, just to clean his fucking fingernails. It’s a little infuriating that something so basic seems to escape him. Can I say something like “hey you have a great personality and are kind and funny and everything, but you smell like a wet hamper and that is probably also preventing you from finding a lady?”

You May Also Like: Steamy Literature Edition

The loose standard for this collection is whether the answer to each of these questions is yes: “Is it better than ‘50 Shades?’” “Can I read it on the train? Like, the actual book, not the Kindle version?” and “I shouldn’t recommend it to my mom, right?”

Beauty Disasters: How to Cover Up Almost Anything

Knowing a little trompe l’oeil can be really helpful for when, on occasion, you choose to be a slightly altered version of yourself.

The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Food Allergies

Helping the Heartbroken and Asking for Things

It seems lately I’ve had a rash of friends getting divorced or separated or broken up with after years and years in a relationship. Other than making mix tapes and talking and holding hands and taking sad phone calls, what is the best way to comfort a broken-hearted friend?

Chyna, 1970-2016

Her unapologetic strength was sexy; she was a real-life Warrior Princess.

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do With Dignity

I was ashamed that I hadn’t seen it coming, but I was also ashamed that the breakup turned me into what I most feared: a cliche. A lonely heart approaching thirty, just a wine spritzer and a skirt tucked into my nylons away from rom-com heroine status. Slowly, though, I began to realize something, cliches are cliches because a lot of people find them to be true.

Fantasies, Photography, and “My Best Friend’s Boyfriend”

She knows I hate him, having said many mean things about him the last three times they broke up. I can’t be around him, I definitely can’t be around them together, and as of late I am so frustrated it is hard to be around her. What do I do, how do I get over this and get my best friend back?

What Should A 30-Year-Old Wear?

Talk to me about the essential wardrobe to build in my 30s, a timeline, and a how to do so on a public servant salary.

32 Feelings & Then Some: An Inquiry into the Non-Legacy of Ani DiFranco

Why doesn’t anyone listen to Ani DiFranco anymore?

Scandals of Classic Hollywood: The Most Wicked Face of Theda Bara

In 1915, totally out of nowhere, she became THE BIGGEST SEX SYMBOL IN THE WORLD. As the star of A Fool There Was, she embodied the cinematic “vamp” — the evil, predatory woman who seduces men with her dark ways, sucks him dry, and leaves him for ruin.

Neko Case, K.D. Lang, and Laura Veirs, “Honey and Smoke”

In Defense of Dad

Your father tries very hard.