“When sex toys start looking less like severed organs, it gets easier for consumers to take them seriously.”

Let’s talk about dicks, baby.

“The Fuckbois of Vine”

A column that is a real window into the six-second hearts and minds of Teens.

If “Brokeback Mountain” Were A Child It Would Be In Fifth Grade

“It’s funny how recent it was, but at the time we were very far away from this burgeoning humanist moment that we’re having now with gay rights.”

The Nanny Did It (Him)

This is literally why there are tabloid magazines.

Did You Know All The Vine Stars Live In The Same Building In Hollywood???

“Vine stardom” was the next logical terrible conclusion.

Purse Doomed Due To Not-Nice-Enough Murdering Of Alligators

“Yeast Infection” In 17 Different Languages, Ranked

Schimmelinfectie.

Billie Holiday, “Speak Low”

Billie Holiday, “Speak Low”

“Airborne wine bottles do not do good things to human heads.”

“How To Stay Safe When The Big One Comes”

“For I will consider my Cat Cherie”

“Of Twitter it is estimated somewhere beyond thirty-one percent who tweet are feline”

How To Be Your Own Life Coach

Be your best self for nothing.

“The Last Days of Kathy Acker”

“Why can’t you call her, Kathy?” Viegener asked. Exasperated and exhausted, her voice trembling, Acker finally said, “Because my sister … is the president … of her tennis club!”

Bloodfeast: Tenderonis

First, create a Spotify playlist that plays nothing but “Roni,” over and over about 55 times.

“Living in tiny homes was much harder than these people realized.”

Perhaps those homes were…TOO tiny.

Some Highlights From #UnfollowAMan

Who will you unfollow?

Recent Shower-Based Grooming Rituals, Ranked

Showering: the definitive ranking.

J Dilla ft. Common and D’Angelo, “So Far To Go”

Repetition is the spice of life.

“Attend to the present, the only part of time that doesn’t require the use of memory.”

I feel like I’m forgetting something.

Five Men Talk About Going Down On Girls

“Eating pussy.”

Do You Know How Your Salary Gets Made?