Monday, May 21, 2012
Elderly Dogs and Babies: A Primer
My first piece of advice? Don't do it. Wait until your elderly dog is dead, or, if it's too late and you're already pregnant, find a good home for the baby (it's much easier to find a good home for a newborn baby than an elderly dog.)
No! You would never do that. You love your elderly dog AND your baby, and the internet is filled with pictures of babies spooning un-neutered wolf-dog hybrids on lawns littered with spare car parts. People tell you it's going to be fine. They're going to be best friends.
But you know your dog. Your dog, to paraphrase Deuteronomy, is a jealous dog. When you first met your husband, said dog had an "adorable" habit of waking you up by crawling under the covers and then walking off with them, leaving you cold and naked and extremely awake. If you tried to stay up and read past nine-thirty pm, the dog would begin making elaborate groaning noises until you turned off the light. It took the dog...four years?...to accept that you were actually there to stay. It was a hard-fought battle for his love. READ MORE
"Never brush immediately after an acidic meal or drink. Always wait at least 30 minutes." | May 21, 2012
Mad Men's Megan Draper Reads (and Wears) 1966 Vogue
Up until this season, the stylish women of "Mad Men" rarely deviated from their set looks. Joan wore her tight, bold dresses; Betty Draper (pre weight-gain) honed her Grace Kelly image; and Jane Siegel was all about flash. (Even Peggy, the most awkward dresser of the group, stuck to mostly menswear-influenced outfits around the office.) It took the new Mrs. Draper and her fabulous wardrobe to give the show what it needed to chronicle the changing fashions of the 60s: a clotheshorse.
And a trendy one at that. We never know what Megan Draper will decide to wear next—now a rhinestone mod mini-dress, next a floor-length gown and cape in watermelon—because she probably doesn’t know either: the editors at Vogue haven't told her yet. Megan might be the first series regular who not only reads Vogue but studies it.
“Do they always give you clothes?" the new copywriter Michael Ginsberg asks Megan when she decides to leave the agency to become an actress. “Or do you have to do it in your own clothes?" It seems obvious the new Mrs. Draper would be a natural at acting: she’s been stepping into a new costume each week through her brand-new, Don Draper-funded wardrobe. By the looks of episodes seven and eight, she (or rather costume designer Janie Bryant) has clearly been taking cues from the 1966 September issues of the magazine. Compare Megan's outfits with the original editorials and her inspirations become obvious. READ MORE
A solemn and dignified Victoria Day to you. You may celebrate by: a) watching The Young Victoria, which is totally great in every way, b) reading up on hereditary diseases concentrated through inbreeding, or c) whatever it is you do when your country was all "oh, let's have a big messy unpleasant war instead of just waiting a few hundred years and then having a civil sort of legal separation with tea and biscuits and Governors-General." | May 21, 2012
Greek Gods Defending Their Roles in the Current Economic Crisis
Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Desire: "They never stopped fornicating."
Apollo, God of the Sun and Music: "Mamma Mia!"
Ares, God of War: "I've been traveling."
Athena, Goddess of Wisdom: "I'm a scapegoat! Talk to Zeus."
Demeter, Goddess of Agriculture: "Greek yogurt. Any other stupid questions?" READ MORE
"She likes Target, the Food Network and sun-dried tomatoes"
Here's everything we ("we") know ("know") about Priscilla Chan, who got married this weekend. Wait, no, here's a bit more. She seems great.
Graphing Lust, Infatuation, and Attachment
What Love Looks Like is a newish Tumblr of varyingly poignant, science-free charts by Brooklyn-based artist Louise Ma. The death ones are fun (see above), but the "Let Me Show You" set is a little more upbeat. Or is it?
Elsewhere in love and the internet: the New York Times' bittersweet "Two Decades of Vows" slideshow.
[via]
"Take a Step That Is New..."
Hi everyone! You may remember me from such pieces as "Really Good Books About Getting Your Oil Changed," "Something Something Canada," "Fire: How It Can Solve All of Your Problems," and "The Best Time I Sold My Baby to a Celebrity So I Could Buy an Apron From Anthropologie."
At any rate, I am very happy to tell you that I will be officially and formally joining Edith and Jane on staff as your very own Books Editor, which certainly would have been my childhood dream, had the concept of lady-blogging in a community of like-minded individuals existed at that point in history.
(Which is not to say I won't have the occasional thing to say about Doctor Who and campaign finance reform and the correct way to slice a mango and Kathy Bates' performance in Fried Green Tomatoes, naturally.)
Staring Into the Sun
Jason Kottke found a neat time-lapse video of yesterday's freaky solar eclipse (by photographer Cory Poole) that he's calling "the coolest" online, in case you missed it, and CNN has many more great photos in a slideshow. No. 5 being the most jarring. No. 11, too.
New Music: Sigur Rós, Regina Spektor, Kelly Clarkson, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
It's Monday morning, which means NPR is streaming its usual spread of not-yet-released albums, and this week it's a particularly nice offering: Sigur Rós, Valtari; Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes, Here; The Walkmen, Heaven; Regina Spektor, What We Saw From the Cheap Seats; and Saint Etienne, Words and Music by Saint Etienne.
Plus Kelly Clarkson debuted a new single, "Dark Side," at the Billboard Music Awards last night; Hot Chip has a new, Peter Serafinowicz-directed music video; and Kreayshawn is still doing things, somehow — she has a new single, "Breakfast," that'll apparently be accompanied by a video later today. Update: and here it is.
Something for some of you. The rest of us can play tarot online. Again. And again and again and again.
The Week of May 14 - 18
- This week A Humanities Grad "Student" (a.k.a. Students) advocated lentils for some, the Non-Monogamous Couple is still happily non-monogamous, and A Clean Person sold A Clean Book! And did some laundry, too, naturally.
- Thom Steinbeck recalled letters from his dad.
- Beauty Q&A: Everyone Needs Gaudy Shoes (#ENGS).
- If you're going hiking this weekend, consider powdered Gatorade and tequila, cherry bourbon, or powdered beer. And water.
- If you're not hiking, perhaps a pickleback, or a LinkedIntini.
- What it's like to edit a website from different coasts/eat hard-boiled eggs while video-chatting.
- "The stocking feet will stretch over your head and you can wear your costume braids like a hat."
- The return of the League of Ordinary Ladies!
- And some last thoughts on Mother's Day.
- Have a lovely weekend, and we'll see you back here on Monday.
Conceptual Marriage Ceremonies for the Wedding-Averse
They sit on the floor and flip through dictionaries. He finds the entry for "wife"; she turns to the one for "husband." They each place a finger on the pronunciation key. On three.
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Taking separate cars, they drive to the hardware store and meet in the birdseed aisle. They break open packages of seed and start throwing it at each other. The shop owner calls security. On the report they give their names as Mr. and Mrs.
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They save up their vacation days and book a flight to Brazil. When the day arrives, they put on fancy clothes and take a taxi to the airport. After changing planes in Atlanta, Lima, and Brasilia, they land at the Santa Isabel do Morro Airport (IDO). READ MORE
I Was A Child Model! A Tragedy In Nine Pictures
This is me—circa age six, sporting double popped collars, rainbow suspenders, more denim than is acceptable in public, and a smile. I was seemingly happy, making more money than I will ever earn again, and—look at that pose!—brimming with confidence. I was a child model. You could look just like me for $43.99 plus tax. I was pulling $55 an hour to show you how. READ MORE
