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"Do You Know Who You Look Like?"

It's a peculiar sociological fact: whenever two people walk around town together, one will inevitably say the name of some establishment they're passing, for absolutely no reason. This name won't be a New York Post-ian pun, and it won't inspire a cute story about the place's wares. Instead, someone will just sort of belch the name out ("Beacon's Closet!"), thereby acknowledging its fleeting purchase on his or her attention. ("This exists, I guess!") Such utterances are not without siblings; plenty of equally fruitless observations arrive with the flimsiest bit of prompting and even less regard for how they'll be received. Perhaps the least useful of such outbursts, however, is the celebrity doppelgänger notification. READ MORE

Things a Psychic Told My Girlfriend (According to My Therapist)

“I sense that someone is interfering with your aura, preventing it from shining as blindingly as it might. On the surface, all seems in order, but don’t be fooled. Look inside and the source of this karmic disruption will reveal itself. Could it be that it’s someone you’ve been involved with romantically? No matter how well-adjusted a person seems, or how much inner growth he’s achieved recently, the man in your life could be a viper in the bush, laying in wait — if you’re caught unawares, the attack can be deadly.” READ MORE

Mr. Darcy Might Have LOL’d: On Male Usage of Emoticons and Laugh-cronyms

My face is set in a neutral expression as I type this, probably too dull to merit an emoticon. Let’s say I was smiling, though, or even laughing. Let’s say I was laughing so hard that part of my ass literally came off, on account of all the calories expended. You wouldn’t know it unless I mentioned it. Right now I’m conveying meaning through words only — complete, unadorned sentences. In other words, I’m conducting myself in the manner apparently most befitting a man. READ MORE