Happy Hour: Let's French

You guys are in luck. Today is my birthday so I was going to spend this post melodramatically mourning my lost youth (remember Skip-Its?! I'll probably never experience joy like that again) and boring you with the details of the bad birthday luck I've had in past years (my boyfriend-at-the-time gave me a moldy coffee cup) before offering you some mess of a cocktail that would probably be perfect for deciding to sleep with a bartender or just putting your face on the toilet for a little while. READ MORE

Happy Hour: Wait, Don't Throw Out That Unfinished Wine!

Perhaps the saddest thing about drinking, aside from that guy at the bar who tries to get a drink by snapping his fingers and calling the bartender "buddy" (or, god no, realizing you've been flirting with that guy all night), is when you order another glass at the exact moment you reach that dangerous point between pleasantly drunk and texting ALL the exes. READ MORE

Happy Hour: The Backyard BBQ Michelada

Do you have a grownup kitchen? When I was young and picturing what my adult apartment would look like, I imagined a wine rack, a stocked pantry, a crisper full of fresh produce, and probably some cheese with a fancy name I'd pronounce perfectly and with a French accent. READ MORE

Happy Hour: Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum

It's officially summer! When I was a kid, summer was marked by spending days at the pool in my best friend's apartment building, writing in my diary about how I was pretty sure the lifeguard was in love with me too, and spending $18 a day on the ice cream truck (vanilla with the crunchy chocolate shell). READ MORE

Happy Hour: Sparkling Rosé on the Cheap (You Really Can Have It All)

So you like sparkling wine? Me too. Love it. Here, let me top off your glass. Haha, it's like I'm trying to get you drunk or something. Like I would do that! Ha ha. Drink up. Maybe we should order an extra round now so we don't have to find the waitress later. Oh, sure, we can just wait and see. It's just that, when I'm having a drink, I like to have one eye on my drink and another eye on my next drink, you know? I'm, like, totally OCD. I really like to plan ahead. READ MORE

Happy Hour: Portugal for Two

Today, I'd like to share one of my greatest disappointments in life: Hard as I try, I haven't been able to put together an original, creative "I like my men like I like my coffee" comparison that accurately describes my tastes in both men and coffee. I blame my penchant for lukewarm hot coffee and slightly chilled, un-iced iced coffee. READ MORE

Happy Hour: How I'm Spending My Summer Vacation

You guys, it's June! And it's hot outside. This means a few things: READ MORE

Happy Hour: Spike Your Coffee

Some people mark it with the first BBQ of the season, but I know summer is just around the corner when I stop ordering my coffee "hot, and, oh, can you throw a couple of ice cubes in there to cool it off?" — does anyone else do this? I'm sure someone does! — and start ordering it "iced, but with very little ice. No, less than that. A little less. Even less! Haha, I know. Almost no ice." (I like my beverages within a few degrees of room temperature. Someone once told me this was a European thing, so I will go with that.) READ MORE

Happy Hour: DIY Apple-Infused Spiced Rum

You may have noticed that flavor-infused spirits have been particularly "on-trend" recently. Some of these have been good ideas (hello, Absolut Wild Tea!), and some, less so (bacon-flavored anything. Turns out there is such a thing as too much bacon). So today we're going to channel our inner Gwyneth Paltrows. But instead of advising you to condition your hair with komodo dragon placenta or wind down from a stressful day with some yoga in the sauna that overlooks your other, bigger sauna, I'm going to teach you to make something that'll come in handy next time you're at a bar and someone offers you a sip of their apple-infused spiced rum drink. You'll take a sip, nod almost too politely, and say, "Oh yes, this reminds me of the apple-infused spiced rum I make myself." You'll quickly and pointedly change the topic because you're falsely humble and also because you don't want to reveal how easy it actually is to make, which it is! I followed a recipe using BlackBeard Spiced Rum, which, with tasty vanilla and caramel flavors, is a perfect pick for this.   READ MORE

Happy Hour: Port Cocktails

The way certain restaurants or songs become forever linked to the [boyfriends/crushes/guys I thought I was on dates with but were actually gay] who introduced me to them, I often associate specific drinks with the men of hangovers past. Like my first legal drink — the house pinot grigio — which, many hours later, became my seventh legal drink, the reason I had to avoid my local bar (and bartender) for a year, and the cause of my first experience throwing up in a garbage can by the bus stop. Or the first time I tried tequila. Or my first time drinking port, sitting across from my date, a man 20 years my senior who was missing a tooth (one of the important ones. I'm not a snob) and enjoyed casually switching to French mid-conversation, resulting in an informal audit of how many times one could shrug and say “... I don’t understand what that means” to shockingly little avail. READ MORE