With This Post, I Thee Leave

Well, I guess this is really the end. After this post goes up, I disappear into my fairy door, and tomorrow morning when you wake up Edith will be back and the universe will realign. READ MORE

Life Would Have Been Different If Jay-Z and Beyonce Were My Parents


The Ballad of Jenni Farley: Four Reasons It'd Be Okay If My Pretend Daughter Looked Up to JWoww

This coming Thursday (3/24) marks the finale of Jersey Shore's third season on MTV, and everywhere people are abuzz with speculation as to what terms these idiots are going to leave the house on. Will Snooki and Vinny just admit they are perfect for each other? Does The Situation ever conjugate a verb correctly? Can Sammi and Ron break up for good? (Please! I will sacrifice three doves!) READ MORE

Celebrating Andrew Lloyd Webber's Birthday the Only Way I Know How

Wait, what? READ MORE

Drew Droege as Chloë Sevigny Is the Best

Parasol picnics with Helmut Lang, Helmut Newton, and a helmet. READ MORE

For the Woman Who Has Everything, Something Else


In Which, Koko-Like, We Could Not Communicate Effectively

Meeting people from the internet is the oddest thing because it has never registered as an "Eh" experience for me. I have either met a person IRL and been THRILLED to finally SPEAK to this friend and see how their BLINKS and FINGERNAILS look, or I've felt catastrophically awkward and left the get-together knowing that I probably would have been better off confining that relationship to its office appliance of origin. READ MORE

'My Favorite Color' Is Here to Calm You

There is something about precipitation that makes certain types of music feel more meaningful. Ambient rock, that mp3 of the song your high school crush sort of wrote about you, sparse Icelandic folk songs whose lyrics are indiscernible — all of these are aided by the pitter patter of snow on your windowpane. READ MORE

What Else You Got in There?

"Ms. Mackaliunas asked to speak with Sergeant Michael Mayer and told him she had hidden more heroin in her vagina. A search of Ms. Mackaliunas by a doctor at Community Medical Center turned up 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22." — While people with penises may be interested in how their region measures up, I'm equally excited to learn that my vagina has a suitcase/wallet feature I haven't been using.

I'm Sad That the Barry Manllow Is Sold Out, But I Understand Why

Hypothetically, I can imagine that sometimes spooning a regular pillow isn't enough when you are sobbing ceaselessly into your Cheeto-stained sheets in the middle of the night and it is raining outside and your bamboo plant just died. (Don't worry, your roommate can't hear you because you have cranked up the volume on that episode of Roseanne.) READ MORE