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Anne Baxter Appreciation Post

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So up until I was…eight, I think, I went to a Hebrew day school, which is just like a regular school except you learn about Judaism all morning and normal school stuff in the afternoon, or maybe it was the reverse, but in any case the point was that there was a heavy emphasis on religion which I know must be shocking to many of you because I grew up to be such a sacrilegious heathen! But it is true!!

ANYWAY. Every year, for Passover, they would let us watch the 1956 Cecil B. DeMille version of The Ten Commandments as a *~*special treat*~* which would basically take up an entire school day. That movie is fucking long. And really racist!! Almost as racist as the NEW version of The Ten Commandments and that’s really saying something. I don’t know why they would show it to children. I mean, yes, because it’s tangentially related to the holiday, sure.

The important thing is that this tradition gave me a lifelong appreciation for/sexual attraction to Anne Baxter, possibly the hottest bitch of all time. Like of course her role as Eve in—duh—All About Eve is the PINNACLE of hot bratty bitch out to steal yer man and yer role but jokes on her because there’s always someone younger and hotter and brattier coming up behind you, ugh, it’s a perfect movie, let’s watch it this weekend.

Oh my god, where was I? Oh yeah. So Anne Baxter playing Nefretiri in the 1956 version of The Ten Commandments was an extremely…formative, let’s say, viewing experience for me. The fuck fumes between her and Charlton Heston are POWERFUL. And she is just such a classic spoiled princess; so obsessed with getting her own way and being the hottest bitch in every room she enters. Like, same.

You know what I’m going to suggest now. Should we just look at a few of her outfits real quick?

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Each outfit is better than the last and I for one plan to move through the rest of my weekend attending Passover seders like I’m sitting on a throne wearing what appears to be a solid gold dress, I advise you to do the same. Happy Passover/Easter/whatever-who-cares-it’s-the-weekend-and-thats-enough-of-a-holiday!


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