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Friday, August 8, 2014

18

The Coldest Winter, etc.

6184371128_bc09c2ab7b_zI went to San Francisco last weekend. I drove there. I wanted to take the train, which is much more civilized, but it’s kind of expensive, and it’s just not that convenient, so I drove. I left Nevada City at 9 p.m. and arrived just before midnight. After the hot, slightly smoky air in the foothills the cool gray dampness of the Bay Area in the summertime felt heavenly. I paid the Bay Bridge toll collector in dimes and quarters, and it was only $4. I thought of all the time I’d spent scouring my bedroom for that last dollar and how I’d never get it back.

I always stay in my friend A.’s little downstairs apartment in Bernal Heights. A. and her wife, L., don’t really have it fixed up yet, it’s just a bed in a corner and some of their crap, a lot of books, a drafting table, a couch, a bicycle, but it’s totally fine with me. I could live there forever if I had to, though I’d probably put the bike to the side. I woke up at around 6 a.m. because their five-year-old son runs around and there is absolutely zero soundproofing between the downstairs and the upstairs. I went upstairs and drank two espressos from their neato machine that is very easy to use but somehow still took me six visits to figure out. One day L.’s father, who babysits their kid and was pressed into service helping me fish out a stuck espresso pod from the machine’s innards, told me that I reminded him of his wife, who was mostly very smart and then, in certain moments, rather astonishingly daft. I chose to take this as a great compliment.

I had done a lot of work already that week, meaning that I had already written the three pieces required to consider that I have done enough to hold my life together. I had also already gone to four yoga classes that week. I went outside and watched the fog obscure and re-obscure Sutro Tower. I decided that I was not going to do any work that day or any yoga. It would be a day of senseless enjoyment. My friend asked me if I wanted to spend the day with her and her five-year-old. I politely declined. I texted a Facebook friend who knows everyone I know but whom I myself have never met, and she said that she was free for lunch and named a place that sounded appropriate to my festive mood. I told her I’d pick her up.

“I’m the blond on the steps, near the ice cream store, looking forlorn,” C. had texted me as I made my way through the Mission, and I had no trouble finding her. We drove across town and she explained to me that she is English though she does not have an English accent. She described getting off the plane in England and smelling the air and knowing that she was home, and it occurred to me that I have never felt that way anywhere, except possibly Los Angeles, although I am not from there. We talked about how we don’t understand why everyone thinks San Francisco is so beautiful, and she explained to me, with a historian’s steady patience, some facts about the way San Francisco was built that I promptly forgot. 

The restaurant we went to was in Hayes Valley and called The 20th Century Café. It was kind of my ideal space for a restaurant: white walls, some pretty light fixtures, a velvet root beer colored banquette, and a spectacular bathroom. I let C. sit on the banquette because the banquette is for the lady, and since she is blonde, I felt that she was slightly more of a lady than I. Plus, she was paying. We split chicken paprikash, a salad, and then, a piece of honey cake so delicious that I am still thinking about it. The owner was a friend of C.’s from their misspent semi-youth in Chapel Hill, she had hair dyed an obviously unnatural shade of red and wore a vintage dress and glasses. It was the sort of place where everyone working there wore a vintage dress. While we ate, we strangely talked about the same things I talked about the last time a beautiful, learned woman had bought me lunch: Anthony Trollope, ISIS, and the future of feminism. I almost felt guilty that I was such an intellectually predictable creature, but then I remembered that I was not supposed to feel bad today. Today was all about no yoga and eating and nothing remotely not fun. We went to some expensive stores and talked about how we’d like to be so rich we just picked up $300 tunics off the floor to put on when the UPS man came to the door.

Afterward, I was meeting my friend A. to see Boyhood. I left myself 30 minutes to get from Hayes Valley to Japantown, but then, I found myself sitting in traffic on Geary Boulevard. Next to me some guys in a truck smoked a joint. On the other side, a woman was in a Volvo, her radio, like mine, tuned to NPR where everything was all about Gaza. The sun came in and out and windows went up and down, and we just sat there. After what seemed like an eternity I was able to make a right onto Laguna St. and I saw the problem—a block ahead, Geary Boulevard was blocked, and there was a MUNI bus just sitting here, kind of listing to one side. I wondered if everyone born between 1960 and 1980 thinks of 48 Hours when they see a wounded MUNI bus.

I parked in a lot, and when I got up to ground level, was totally discombobulated. I asked like eight people in the Japan Center where the theater was. None of them knew and in my agitated, tardy state, I found this very annoying. Plus, I used to live in San Francisco, so I was really the big dummy here, but I went outside and I just couldn’t tell which way was which and my iPhone was doing that annoying thing where it was insisting that I was still in the same mall in Sacramento I was in three days ago. Finally a Japanese man that didn’t speak English took pity on me and walked me the third of a block to the theater.

A. was coming from Bernal Heights and was also very late. “Fucking bus,” she said. “I need a fucking Diet Coke.” She had bought my ticket, and I bought the Diet Cokes, which cost nearly as much. The theater was filled with retirees and Europeans. We saw a trailer for a movie about some hot young people who think they are in love because they have sex for two days and laughed at their folly, and then laughed harder when she suddenly died and he went to India because someone in the guy’s “science lab” found a girl with “the exact same eyes” and he had to track her down and, yes, someone actually said, “the eyes are the window to the soul." We were cackling. The old woman next to us looked very annoyed, and I whispered to her, “I assure you we will not be speaking during the feature,” and she looked briefly frightened, but then, reassured.

Boyhood was a heartbreak. A. and I staggered into the lobby, clutching ourselves, blinking at the sunlight. I wanted to tell A. how much I loved her and how much it meant to me that she had been my friend for so long, and how lucky I was that we had randomly met on a long-ago Thanksgiving, but I didn’t want to sob in the Kabuki theater, so I just said “I can’t believe how good Patricia Arquette looked in that movie. I mean, she looked really good. And it’s crazy how they got those kid actors that looked exactly like the older ones. How did they do that?”

She asked me if I was joking. I said that I wasn’t. She explained to me that Richard Linklater had made that movie over the course of 12 years, and that those were all the same people. “No way,” I said.

She looked at me darkly and said, “I think you need to move back to the city.”

+++
The next day I met a friend of mine from college who is blind. After we ate lunch, in an unremarkable Thai restaurant in Pacific Heights, I walked her back to her apartment. She held my arm. There was no sun, but no rain. Everything was still and cool, and the flowers were brilliant. We walked very slowly, the two of us and her service dog, and people just went around us, and no one complained or gave us a dirty look. To tell you the truth, if I had my way, I would always walk that slow.

 

Previously: Anger Problems and The Trivia Superteam

Photo via hdz/flickr.

Sarah Miller is keeping a summer diary. She is the author of Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn and The Other Girl.  She lives in Nevada City, CA. Follow her on Twitter @sarahlovescali.



18 Comments / Post A Comment

joshuawilliam19

A beautiful train trek and wonderful place in Francisco good for all tourist... Joshua William

milenakent

Damn good, damn good@n

Ruby Rosa@facebook

my name is Rosa i want to testify about a great spell caster that help me cast a spell that brought my ex boyfriend back to me without any delay. I broke up with my ex with just little misunderstanding hoping we will get back shortly,but things was growing worse until i contacted Dr EBOSA .spell priest who help me with his historical powers to bring him back, without charging me any money for his work but i was only require to provide the items needed for him to cast the spell and after the spell has work i should testify about his good work on any web which i'm doing now,wow i have never believed in a spell caster until i came across Dr EBOSA spell home, Well it will be of great sin if i should go out from here without dropping the contact of this great spell caster,in case you need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him through his email once you contact him all your problems will be over,once again i say very big thanks to you sir for helping me to recover my ex back, and please sir keep your good work cause people need your helping hand in their lives.once more contact him on his email:ebosaherbalremedy@hotmail.com Wow wow....

764174288@twitter

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Lucienne

Sarah Miller, sometimes I save up your article to read on the weekend or later in the week, and sometimes I gobble it up. I've never figured out which way is better, but since I pretty much always reread it, I guess it doesn't matter.

949119164@twitter

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eizverson22

Slowly walk the road of life, you will find a lot of good things.

Mccart Kate@facebook

Am here to testify what this great spell caster done for me. i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is supremespellcaster@gmail.com she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time.

Eddy Lanky@facebook

My name is Mrs. Jason Destiny,From USA ,and I’m
happily married with a lovely husband and two
children.I had a very big problem with my husband
few months ago,to the extent that he even packed his
things away from our house. He left I and and my kids
for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best
and effort to bring him back.I discussed it with a very
good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice
concerning a spell caster, that he is the only one that
can handle my situations and problem,that he’s
always ready and able to do anything related to spell
casting and helping of the needy, Pls every every one i
would like you all to contact him with his email
address,which is as
follows.lovethlovespell@yahoo.com I
never believed in spell casting,but My friend
convinced me and i had no choice than to follow my
friend advice,because i never dreamed of loosing my
lovely Husband. And i contacted him with his email
address,and i discussed with him all my problems and
worries and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my
husband back a day after. I didn't believed Him, until
when i got home,the next day,my husband called me
to inform me that he is coming back home…..So
Amazing!! That’s how i got my husband back through spell
casting and our relationship was stronger than ever.
One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to the
people around me that problems like this,can always
be solved by Dr Paul. So! my advice to you out
there is to visit this same E-mail address,and tell him
your problems too,if you are in any condition related
to love issue or getting your ex back or and problem
at all, pls Contact him and have a happy life. you can
contact him via email (lovethlovespell@yahoo.com)
or call him +2348071634974

Eddy Lanky@facebook

I Am Ms shelebua, i live in Texas (USA).
[READ MY STORY. ON HOW I GOT MY AIDS CURED].
Truthfully, i was tested HIV + positive last 3years. I keep on managing the drugs i usually purchase from the health care agency to keep me healthy and strenghtful, i tried all i can too make this disease leave me alone, but unfortunately, it keep on eating up my life, this is what i caused myself, for allowing my fiance make sex to me unsecurely without protection, although i never knew he is HIV positive. So last few 4days i came in contact with a lively article on the internet on how this Powerful Herbal Healer get her well and healed. So as a patient i knew this will took my life 1 day, and i need to live with other friends and relatives too. So i copied out the Dr Wisdom the traditional healer's email id: Giftedspellcaster@outlook.com, and I mailed him immediately, in a little while he mail me back that i was welcome to his temple home were by all what i seek for are granted. I was please at that time. And i continue with him, he took some few details from me and told me that he shall get back to me as soon as he is through with my work. I was very happy as heard that from him. So Yesterday, as i was just coming from my friends house, Dr Wisdom called me to go for checkup in the hospital and see his marvelous work that it is now HIV negative, i was very glad to hear that from him, so i quickly rush down to the nearest hospital to found out, only to hear from my hospital doctor called Browning Lewis that i am now HIV NEGATIVE. I jump up at him with the test note, he ask me how does it happen and i recide to him all i went through with Dr Wisdom. I am now glad, so i am a gentle type of person that need to share this testimonies to everyone who seek for healings, because once you get calm and quiet, so the disease get to finish your life off. So i will advice you contact him today for your healing at the above details: Email ID: Giftedspellcaster@outlook.com CONTACT HIM NOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE:Giftedspellcaster@outlook.com... AS HE IS SO POWERFUL AND HELPFUL TO ALL THAT HAVE THIS SICKNESS...CALL HIM +2348101733265

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

Bella Tina@facebook

My Name is Bella Tina, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OSAUYI has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans Evans, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr OSAUYI for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM OR OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 thanks

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