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Thursday, August 7, 2014

10

Overheard at a Women-Only Charity Event

YUM“So many wedges.”

“Turn it down for what!”

“When my milk came in, I had like, porn star boobs.”

“Look at all that pasta.”

“This 50 Cent song is all for you.”

“There’s a little pregnant lady dancing. You go girl!”

“She shouldn’t have worn cream to your wedding.”

“Why isn’t this an all-woman band?”

“Why isn’t the DJ a woman?”

“Where the fuck do you smoke?”

“I know that I need to not smoke but I still need it, ya know?”

“Let me use your purse leather to open my beer.”

“I thought this was beer.”

“I am so poor that I was chugging peanuts to fill up.”

“Who’s the hype man?”

“Someone tell the DJ this is not about him.”

“Can’t stop sweating.”

“Still confused about the strapless dress. What do you do, free-boob?”

“You guys are all so beautiful. Like, there’s not enough time to hug you all and grab all your butts.”

“Ugh, my fat arm ruins another picture.”

“Hey, can we have… Hey.”

“I can see your freckles.”

“Fuck the Cupid Shuffle.”

“Ew, trash juice got on me.”

“Mom told me I need an Otter Box and I’m like, are you kidding me?”

“Oh my God, I’m dead.”

“Scott told me I should give him a BJ 3 times a week and he Googled the health benefits.”

“Pumpkin pie almonds shut the fuck up.”

 

Previously: "A Men's Fashion Guide to Music Festivals"

Mackenzie Mays is a journalist who likes to share a string cheese with her dog, Norah, every now and then. 



10 Comments / Post A Comment

DullHypothesis

“You guys are all so beautiful. Like, there’s not enough time to hug you all and grab all your butts.”

I have said this exact thing I want to go to this ladies only charity event and touch some butts in the spirit of friendship.

Filmes Online

nice post, there should be more sites like this, thank you!
Filmes Online

Lucienne

There was a band AND a DJ?

Codi Crooks@facebook

But seriously... Pumpkin pie almonds SHUT THE FUCK UP

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

“Someone tell the DJ this is not about him.”

I pretty much love this a lot.

crapface

10/10 would bang this article

PotatoPotato

Ok but really, fuck the Cupid Shuffle.

Johnny Scott@facebook

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My
name is Micheal smith i live in Australia,and I`m happily married to a
lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my
family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took
the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with
me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house
and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my
possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and
she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see
me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old
friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so
she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell
caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in
spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me
the email address of the spell caster whom she
visited.{wisdomspiritualtemple@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to
the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get
my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so
he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next
morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven
{5}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!!
So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and
she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my
children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it
were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there
to kindly visit the same website {wisdomspiritualtemple@gmail.com},if you are in
any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your
ex back. So thanks to the wisdomspiritualtemple@gmail.com for bringing back my wife,and
brought great joy to my family once again.{wisdomspiritualtemple@gmail.com}
Thanks...

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