Wednesday, August 20, 2014


New Game Alert! Depression or Unemployment?

Having recently found myself involuntarily jobless, I had a lot of time on my hands. And I discovered that I was filling that time in new and unusual ways that made me ask questions like, "hey, is this something a depressed person does? Or is this just unemployment?" So I created a game, because obviously. For fun, divide these behaviors into two categories, depression or unemployment – or just go lay facedown on the floor. You don't owe anyone anything! No one is paying for your time!

Quitting in the middle of a shower.

Having the Papa John's order page open and filled out before 11 am.

Only ever wanting to wear what you were wearing the day before, because this is the laziest possible form of time travel.

Developing a complete and total dependance your phone's Tarot card app to make any and all decisions.

Rejoining OKCupid.

Scheduling your gym time around the Kathy Lee and Hoda hour.

Crying in public because your horoscope email won't open and now how are you supposed to know what to do?

Buying all the foods you've always meant to learn to cook but then deciding the kitchen is too hot and you can't take the heat; ordering enough Chinese take out for the whole week on the way back from the grocery store.

Believing that bars are a good place for some midday freelance work.

Talking yourself into showering before remembering that leg-shaving is a thing, then laying back down on the couch.

Watching all of NBC's Undateable.

Telling your similarly unemployed friend that you both have to stop trying to predict the future, then immediately taking her to a psychic.

7 Comments / Post A Comment


Some of these are alarmingly familiar to me. Time get out for a walk!

Tacy Kelly

I logged in to say that you should applaud yourself for going to the gym! Getting out the front door, much less getting to the gym, is huge if you are depressed.


Bar in the middle of the day is fine as long as it's "coffeeshop/bar." Also, someone needs to write "The Rules" version of being unemployed so everyone knows which days to wear lipstick (on days you didn't wash your face - it makes you look pulled together, duh) and how long to wait before calling on that cool job that's still hanging out, unfilled, though you sent your resume two weeks ago (the answer is NOW DON'T WAIT OR THEY MIGHT HIRE SOMEONE ELSE AHHGHGHUGH)


wait, there's a Tarot card app? WHAT.


Thank you for the post. Instead of overthinking about what the future holds, I would rather take an action because excuses are a time thief. I will have a goal, accept the responsibilty and do the things ought to be done. I will look for a job. Oh well, good thing an installment loan can be availed while waiting for an employment. This will help in financing my needs while hunting jobs.

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