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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

17

Never Bring Your Boyfriend to Brunch

ugh this advice

Pre-brunch text:

Your friend: [30 minutes before you're meeting] "Hey, it it cool if I bring my boyfriend along last minute to our catch up brunch we've been planning all week?"

You: OK. [You caught that "OK" is text-speak for "No" right??]

Your friend: Yay! We can talk about anything in front of him. Seriously! [Anything except all my relationship (and that weird sex thing he did that I told you about once!!) problems with him!]

 

Brunch:

You: So what's...[search for acceptable neutral topic and give up]... new this week?

Friend and Friend's New Boyfriend: [40 minute long story about a Blue Apron dinner they made. Spoiler: It was such a fun night and it turned out delicious!]

Friend: So what's up with [something in your romantic life you don't feel like getting into in front of Friend's New Boyfriend]?

You: It's going great...

Friend: But what about [refers to a more interesting part of the story you were saving all week to tell in person at brunch]?

You: Umm, well [continues to tell a very PG version of that story which rivals their Blue Apron story in terms of sexual provocativeness]

Friend's Boyfriend: [Unsolicited really bad advice]

Friend: He's so great! He's like one of the girls, right?!

You: [Orders another drink. Then another.]

[image via]

 

Michelle still had a really great time at brunch and was definitely not referring to the time you brought your boyfriend last minute.

 



17 Comments / Post A Comment

inthepost

I always feel so bad about this but like, I want at least 24-48 hours' notice if a friend is bringing their partner to a hangout that was going to be one-on-one. I have to mentally prepare! I already don't see these friends enough! Their partners are mostly great but they are not my best friends? I feel like this is a thing that most single people feel and then forget as soon as they are in a couple.

17496891@twitter

@inthepost Oh man. Don't apologize for that. I'm married and I totally feel the same way whenever a friend brings a S.O. to something that was supposed to be a 1 on 1. Most of my friends' S.O.s are wonderful but... it still changes the dynamic of the get-together.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@inthepost THIS! Ugh, it happens every time one of my best friends is dating someone, and especially now that some of them are in Serious Grown-Up Relationships, my time with them is either "talk about dumb stuff we shouldn't be saying with the boyfriend around" or "wait until friend to call me as a backup plan because boyfriend is most definitely not able to spend time with her that day."

sarahspy

This happens to me SO often. Sometimes without warning! I've taken to calling any plans "girls nights" as an attempt to avoid so many originally fun plans turning into 3rd wheel situations for myself. :/

Sarah Rain

I solve this by saying "no" when I mean no.

or Elsa!

I might be way off-base, but I usually I read "Hey, [close friend], can I bring [boyfriend you aren't especially friendly with] to [conversation-heavy event]?" as a tacit invitation to cancel.

That is, I think that friend doesn't want the burden of saying "Hey, I'm prioritizing my boyfriend over our plans" by cancelling but they half-expect you will.

… which leaves me split between cheerfully skipping an event that will not be fun for me and will frustrate me or doggedly refusing to do that friend's dirty work for them by cancelling. (I certainly have friends whose boyfriends I'd love to see or get to know better at brunch, but when it's a lukewarm relationship, that's different.)

Lisa Frank

@or Elsa! Oh man, that is way too passive-aggressive!

or Elsa!

@Lisa Frank I KNOW. But I still believe it, and I have to struggle to resist the pull to respond to (perceived) passive-aggression with more passive-aggression.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Now, Michelle, in this clearly fictional story, what you should have done is text "K" instead of "OK." Because "OK" can mean "okay" or it can mean "okay!" or it mean "o-kay..." but "K" definitely always means "hahaha I hate you."

Michelle Markowitz

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) genius! i don't think I've ever texted 'k' to a woman before though...

ragazza

"I was thinking this would be just us/ladies only." Problem solved. Friends have said that to me and I have been just fine with it.

KathleenNC

@ragazza I love this!!

Boopsy

Oh thank god. I thought I was just being bitter or something by being profoundly annoyed every time a friend does this to me. Glad to know I'm not crazy!

Walsh Bob@facebook

Just wanted to thanks drcharlesspelltemple@hotmail.com for the love spell he had cast for me to get my husband back to me within two days, the spell took no time to show its action and the result was awesome and permanent, now my husband does not even talks or thinks of leaving me, Thank you Dr. Charles for your help to me. –

commanderbanana

Ugh, seriously, I have That One Friend who is constantly springing SURPRISE BOYFRIEND on us, and it sucks. If you do this to your friends, stop it immediately.

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