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Monday, June 30, 2014

53

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Second Wedding

wiiiiild horseeesssThree weeks ago, two days after our wedding, my new husband Paul and I borrowed a car and drove into the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Our shared future rolled out before us, as epic and seismic as the landscape. We nestled ourselves on the bank of Boulder Creek, intoxicated with the charged intimacy of being newlyweds on a mountainside soaked with sun, and I simultaneously tried to luxuriate in this awareness of love and also shake off my awareness of the history that preceded it.

I’m newly, and ecstatically, wed to Paul, but I’m not new to being wed. When I was twenty-five, I married my college boyfriend. The wedding was gorgeous and the union brief and sad. Our divorce was finalized fifteen months later. Two and a half years after that, I married Paul.

I have always been especially predisposed to feelings of shame, but when I ended my first fledgling marriage, I felt something more acute: a sense of true ruin. While my rational self was well aware that divorce didn’t mean shame, my emotional self was resolutely masochistic. Long-term married couples seem like society’s victors, and terms like “failed marriage” intimate that choosing divorce means acquiescing to defeat and personal weakness. I worried that failure was my lasting lot, and when I started dating Paul, my happiness felt barbed and undeserved.

I tried to take ownership over my nuptial excitement. On a modest budget, we planned a very small celebration. Intimacy appealed to my good side and it appealed to my shame as well. I was embarrassed to extend too many invitations, projecting my own self-disdain onto family and friends. I assumed that many who knew the circumstances of my first marriage could not take my second wedding seriously. How could I, the woman who had left her first husband eight months after marrying him, indulge a second joy?

I compulsively assured everyone that this wedding would be a modest and simple affair. The idea of compiling a wedding registry turned my stomach. I refused to entertain the possibility of another wedding gown, in part because of my fashion predilections but primarily because I was terrified of seeming gauche and entitled. At the bottom of all of these feelings was a secret hope that my wedding to Paul might serve as atonement for my blink-of-an-eye marriage and divorce. This was wildly unfair to both of us as well as contradictory to my actual beliefs.

I had left my first husband with near uncharacteristic confidence. In many ways I acted selfishly, which was unsettling enough for me, and in the aftermath I realized how women are treated when they put themselves, unconditionally, first. The raised eyebrows, askance looks, and—mercifully rare—unsolicited critiques were excruciating. I felt like everything else had been negated through this single, although certainly weighty, act of self-interest. I was reduced to a rough caricature: the selfish woman.

Women are not supposed to be selfish. In her capacity as the advice-bequeathing Dear Sugar, Cheryl Strayed responded to five women who sought her advice regarding predicaments uncannily similar to my own. (In a beautiful and weird stroke of fate, The Rumpus published this column a month after I separated from my husband.) Paying heed to these women’s impulses to leave their relationships—and their abiding fears—she writes, “Doing what one wants to do because one wants to do it is hard for a lot of people, but I think it’s particularly hard for women. We are, after all, the gender onto which a giant Here to Serve button has been eternally pinned.” Here to serve, but not to serve ourselves. And, by extension, here to be desired, not to pursue our own.

I could parse the circumstances, but, ultimately, I left my first marriage because I needed to do it. I was twenty-five, childless, and needed to rewrite my world before I was written into a narrative I didn’t want. But these sorts of decisions have the capacity to induce panic not just in those of us who make the choice but also in those who witness it. It made me anxious to follow the long-suppressed impulse of basic need. “Go, because you want to,” writes Strayed, “Because wanting to leave is enough.” Sobbing alone in my apartment, I whispered okay.

Through all of this I’ve never felt jaded about marriage itself. I am still inspired by romantic commitments that thrive across decades. When my parents snuggle together on the couch I want to pinch their cheeks and kiss them. My paternal grandparents celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary almost a decade ago, and I continue to marvel at the way they fascinate each other.

But somewhere along the way I learned that relationships don’t gain moral strength simply because they have endured. Relationships are too messy for such clean parallels. So much humiliation and self-loathing comes of treating divorce as the dark underbelly of intimacy. We don’t get one shot at long-term monogamy—if monogamy is even what we want. It occurred to me that, whether or not I wanted to remarry—and in the beginning I was not sure—divorce did not render impossible fifty years of mutual love and couch co-habitation.

By the week of my second wedding, I was stunned by the bigness of love surrounding me. Part of me had feared that the celebration would feel uncomfortably familiar, but it didn’t and it wasn’t. My family and friends gathered around me, affirming our bond. On that day, Paul and I read vows that we had written for each other, kept secret until we spoke them aloud. I made weepy faces that resemble Dawson’s expression when Joey rebuffs him for the I’m–not–sure–what time. My eighty-year-old grandmother cut a rug in a circle of twenty- and thirty-somethings, as Robyn thumped from the sound system. Paul and I danced our first dance to The Sundays’ cover of “Wild Horses,” and if you are eternally devoted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer like I am, you know that one of my dearest adolescent wishes was thus fulfilled (and that Paul is a tolerant man).

And while it is true that I love Paul in a way that I did not love my first husband—and that this affection shaped our wedding day—what is most important here is not comparative. I loved my first husband too, in the best way that I could in that moment, and I loved—still love—so much about our wedding. My wedding to Paul had nothing to do with my first; it was an exquisite day in the life of our own romance. The wedding was ours, and if it is not unconnected to the rest of my life, it still claims singularity—in the little particulars and in its celebration of a romance that can only be lived by Paul and me, together.

 

Rachel Vorona Cote is an English doctoral candidate living in Washington, D.C. She also writes creative non-fiction and personal essays at positiveandpromise.wordpress.com. You can find her on Twitter here:@RVoronaCote.



53 Comments / Post A Comment

ThatJenn

Oh wow. This could be me. I married at 23, we split at 24 on my basically unilateral decision, and remarried last September at 29, and I felt all of these things acutely. Thank you for writing this.

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@ThatJenn Congratulations on finding your way back to a joyful place. I am so very glad that this piece spoke to you.

stavros

Love love love!@m

Jancital Cook@facebook

This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Shiva has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Shiva email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Shiva is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR SHIVA NOW VIA EMAIL: reunitingexspell@yahoo.com or call +2347051705853 or reunitingexspell2@gmail.com . He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

Plant Fire

The link in the second paragraph is broken.

Jia Tolentino

@Sea Ermine TY just fixed!!

Plant Fire

@Sea Ermine Thanks! I was excited to click on it.

loopdeloop

The Cheryl Strayed link is also broken :/ but this piece is wonderful otherwise!

Jia Tolentino

@loopdeloop got it. i used the wrong kind of quotes in the HTML ugh

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@Jia Tolentino ...I got a little link-happy with this one, didn't I? Sorry for the extra hassle, lady!

Pela

Oh my god thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear - “Go, because you want to,” writes Strayed, “Because wanting to leave is enough.”

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@Pela She's amazing, isn't she?

pterodactylish

As I finished this, Frozen's "Let It Go" came on my Pandora channel and it felt very appropriate. Also, this was very beautiful and I hope your write more here!

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@pterodactylish Oh, I love this so much! And thank you for your kind words!

Jen@twitter

"“Doing what one wants to do because one wants to do it is hard for a lot of people, but I think it’s particularly hard for women. We are, after all, the gender onto which a giant Here to Serve button has been eternally pinned.” Here to serve, but not to serve ourselves. And, by extension, here to be desired, not to pursue our own."

I can't relate to the whole leaving a marriage part of this, but the above quote really spoke to me because of a conversation I had with my boyfriend this weekend. He told me how he wish I'd initiate more and he wished I'd speak up more about what I wanted. I consider myself a very independent person who does what they want, but when it comes to relationships I just can't seem to break free of the idea of "let's do this (if it's okay with you)". I didn't realize how much I do it until he called me out on it.

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@Jen@twitter There are so many behaviors that we practice, almost as if they were muscle memory from the start. It's a testament to the way our culture teaches women from birth to be the pleasers rather than to seek our own pleasure. I am so glad that you've come to these realizations through talks with your boyfriend and hope that you will be happy in all that you do, as part of a couple and on your own!

Lisa Alan@facebook

@Rachel Vorona@facebook

hello world, i cant believe that this is real and genuine, i was an hiv patient for 2years when i get in touch with Dr Ben(habelhomecenter@gmail.com) the great healer after reading a how he have been curing people with hiv, at 1st i thought it was a scam but at last i chose to contact him and give him a trial, he told me what to do and i simply do it and he gave me his medication and ask me to go for check up after two months i agree with him, i took this medication and went for check up after two months to my greatest surprise my result was negative after the treatment of Dr Ben, i am really happy that i am cured and healthy again. and i want to use this opportunity to tell you all that is suffering from hiv to hurry up and contact him now (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... cause the solution to your problem has come. once more here is the email of this great healer. (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... RAYMOND FROM USA

FlufferNutter

Rachel, I loved this! Love, relationships, and marriage aren't "one-size-fits-all" enterprises. Good on you for following your own path. As I get older I find the feeling of making "selfish" decisions has become addictive, because it's empowering. When all others raise their eyebrows at me, that's when I know I've done something worth doing. (Also: BUFFY!!!!)

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@FlufferNutter "When all others raise their eyebrows at me, that's when I know I've done something worth doing." - I like it. :) And yes, Buffy! Always, always Buffy!!

Jess Pendleton@facebook

Thank you for writing this, I feel as if you've captured all of the feelings of shame and guilt I felt after leaving my first marriage, and the new round of guilt and shame I feel now that I'm in another serious relationship. The idea of marriage -- and especially a wedding -- is still too much for me at this moment, but it is heartening to hear that I'm not alone in this, and that others have been able to find their way back to marital bliss once again.

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@Jess Pendleton@facebook You will find your way. And whatever you choose, wherever you go, I wish you all the joy in the world!!

Metanoia

Thanks for posting your experience - it makes such a difference to know that there are other twenty somethings that have gone through what really is a very traumatic experience. Sadly society has no idea of the brutal aftershock that divorce entails. I have been dating a guys for 5 months and have experienced everything you have mentioned above, luckily real love does drive out all fear and I can truly say that I am happier than I have been in over 10 years.

I also recently started writing about my own experience anonymously as part of my own healing and to help others in a way to know that they arent alone. Go have a read:
https://medium.com/@BMetanoia

MovinOn

Thank you for posting this. I went through the same feelings when I left my marriage. I am now in the midst of planning my 2nd wedding and have still have fleeting moments of guilt about it. This was a well written piece about putting it all in perspective. It was nice to know that other women go through the same feelings after finding a second chance at happiness. I love that your wedding song was "Wild Horses" I feel the same way about Buffy!

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@MovinOn Many thanks, and best of luck with your wedding planning! It can be hard, but do remember that you enjoy the joy you feel. Hold onto the happy - and watch lots of BTVS along the way!

Lisa Alan@facebook

@Rachel Vorona@facebook

hello world, i cant believe that this is real and genuine, i was an hiv patient for 2years when i get in touch with Dr Ben(habelhomecenter@gmail.com) the great healer after reading a how he have been curing people with hiv, at 1st i thought it was a scam but at last i chose to contact him and give him a trial, he told me what to do and i simply do it and he gave me his medication and ask me to go for check up after two months i agree with him, i took this medication and went for check up after two months to my greatest surprise my result was negative after the treatment of Dr Ben, i am really happy that i am cured and healthy again. and i want to use this opportunity to tell you all that is suffering from hiv to hurry up and contact him now (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... cause the solution to your problem has come. once more here is the email of this great healer. (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... RAYMOND FROM USA

Sotheresthat

Congrats on making yourself feel better about the whole thing(only half sarcastic).

GirlBye

i think this woman's story is heroic. and truly applies to women who do put others first and forget to love themselves. BUT, women who use this story as an excuse for a divorce they caused due to their own infidelity is disgusting. Cheating on your husband is a selfish act. There's nothing selfless about that. The best therapists say that you should never get a divorce until you have no more unfinished emotional business with the other person. And, that you can never make your marriage work if you turn away from it. Finding fulfillment in someone else is self-serving and a marriage is supposed to be a partnership. If one person is unhappy in the marriage, your partner deserves to know about it and be given the opportunity to fix it before defaulting to divorce. Too many people get divorced because its the easy thing to do. But it sounds like this woman did it the right way. She knew she didn't want to be with this man, stayed trued to herself and waited a couple of years to date and re-marry. Kudos to her.

Rachel Vorona@facebook

@GirlBye I really appreciate your kind words, but I want to be clear that I am by no means a hero. I was right to leave this marriage, but I also did and said things of which I am not proud and for which I will always be sorry.

That said, I think it is extremely important to avoid casting judgment on another's relationship or on types of "bad" behavior that occur within relationships. An act, at bottom, might seem selfish, cruel, ill-advised, destructive. Infidelity is without a doubt extremely harmful to a relationship and a breach of trust. But no one but those in the relationship can ever know why circumstances have changed, or why someone has made a particular choice, no matter how bad that choice may seem. I think that those of us on the outside must, above all, strive to be empathetic and kind, even when we are in fundamental disagreement with what someone has said or done.

JustNo

@Rachel Vorona@facebook Um, no. Your non-judgey behavior is laughably stupid. You sound like one of those people who believe in participation awards for all kids and crying "bully" everytime kids get in arguments.

Please don't have children.

Lisa Alan@facebook

@Rachel Vorona@facebook

hello world, i cant believe that this is real and genuine, i was an hiv patient for 2years when i get in touch with Dr Ben(habelhomecenter@gmail.com) the great healer after reading a how he have been curing people with hiv, at 1st i thought it was a scam but at last i chose to contact him and give him a trial, he told me what to do and i simply do it and he gave me his medication and ask me to go for check up after two months i agree with him, i took this medication and went for check up after two months to my greatest surprise my result was negative after the treatment of Dr Ben, i am really happy that i am cured and healthy again. and i want to use this opportunity to tell you all that is suffering from hiv to hurry up and contact him now (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... cause the solution to your problem has come. once more here is the email of this great healer. (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... RAYMOND FROM USA

103215437@twitter

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Lisa Alan@facebook

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Lisa Alan@facebook

hello world, i cant believe that this is real and genuine, i was an hiv patient for 2years when i get in touch with Dr Ben(habelhomecenter@gmail.com) the great healer after reading a how he have been curing people with hiv, at 1st i thought it was a scam but at last i chose to contact him and give him a trial, he told me what to do and i simply do it and he gave me his medication and ask me to go for check up after two months i agree with him, i took this medication and went for check up after two months to my greatest surprise my result was negative after the treatment of Dr Ben, i am really happy that i am cured and healthy again. and i want to use this opportunity to tell you all that is suffering from hiv to hurry up and contact him now (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... cause the solution to your problem has come. once more here is the email of this great healer. (habelhomecenter@gmail.com)... RAYMOND FROM USA

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

Betty Destiny@facebook

My name is Betty Destiny , from U.S.A, I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called Dr. OGUDO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony os the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to New York, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email drogudospelltemple@gmail.com you can see what he can do and i belive that he can do so four you too.

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Precious Micheal@facebook

hello friends, this is unbelievable but it worked. I became frustrated in my marriage and after trying several methods i went online to seek help there i saw a post on how a lady got her husband back and i decided to try this prophet that helped her because my marriage was failing. truly speaking, i never believed in spiritual work or spell casting but i reluctantly tried him because i was desperate and had no other option. To my greatest surprise this prophet helped me and my marriage is now the best you can imagine. just as he promised my husband now treats me like a queen even when he had told me before he doesn't love me anymore just the other day my husband bought me a rose flower and these days he does things I had forgotten existed in marriage. well, i can not say much but if you are passing through difficulties in your marriage try him here is his email prophet.briancarn@yahoo.com of a truth he really helps again his email his prophet.briancarn@yahoo.com in deed prophet I am grateful

Andre Edwardo@facebook

Hello to the world at large I want to use this medium to tell
the world about Doctor BULL
who helped me in getting my
lover back with his powerful
spell, my ex and i where having
misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to
beg her several times to please
forgive and accept me back
because i know i offended her
but each time i went i always
feel more deeply in pain and agony because she always walk
out on me and would not want
to listen to what i have to tell
but on i faithful day as i was
browsing i came arose a
testimony of a woman whose problem was more than mine and
yet Doctor BULL helped her
with his spell so i was happy and
also contacted Doctor BULL for
help via email and then told him
my story but the only thing he said was that i will wipe you tear
with my spell so lucky for me
everything want well just as he
promised and right now i have
got my fiance back and we are
both living happily. there is nothing Doctor BULL can not do
with is spell and just as promise
my self i will keep testifying on
the internet of how Doctor BULL helped me.Are your
problem greater that mine or less i give you 100% guarantee
that Doctor BULL will put an
end to it with his powerful spell,
contact Doctor BULL for help
Via email
BESTSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK.
2. WINNING LOTTERIES.
3. CHILD BEARING.
4. BREAKING OF GENERATION
COURSE.
5. GETTING OF JOB. 6. JOB PROMOTION.
7. MONEY SPELL.
8. SPIRITUAL PROTECTION.
9. HERBAL CARE.
10. BEAUTY SPELL.
11. SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.
12. HIV CURE.

Tracy Adams@facebook

I have been suffering from HIV/AIDS since 3 years now, and i happen to have 2 kids for my husband, and now we cannot proceed to have another kids all because of my disease. I have done everything possible to get my disease healed, i have went to several places to seek for help not even one person could ever help, until i met a comment on the daily news paper that was commented by Miss Jane, about how this powerful traditional doctor help her get cured of her disease (HIV-AIDS) . I first taught having a help from a spiritual traditional healer was a wrong idea, but i think of these, will i continue to stress on these disease all day when i have someone to help me save my life?" so i gather all my faiths and put in all interest to contact him through his Email address at ogboduspellhome@gmail.com , so after i have mailed him of helping get my disease cured, he responded to me as fast as possible that i should not be afraid, that he is a truthful and powerful doctor that will help me cure my disease. So after all has been done, he promise me that i will be healed but on a condition that i provide him some items which he is going to use to prepare the herbal medication. I gave him the money to buy the items for me and only to see that the following week, Dr Ogbodu mail me on my mail box that my work is successfully done with his powers, i used the herbal medication just the way he instructed me to use it. When i went to the hospital to conclude my final test, to my greatest surprise, my doctor told me that i am now HIV- Negative. I am the most happiest person on earth now, thanks to Dr Ogbodu. You can also contact him via his email address: ogboduspellhome@gmail.com if you need his help, he is waiting to receive you.

fb100008344326601

DR Ativie is the only Dr who could ever get my HIV-AIDS cured with his healing spell, i have tried almost everything but i could’nt find any solution on my disease, despite all these happening to me, i always spend alot to buy a HIV drugs from hospital and taking some several medications but no relieve, until one day i was just browsing on the internet when i come accross a great post of !Michelle! who truly said that she was been diagnose with HIV and was healed that very week through the help of these great powerful healing spell doctor, sometime i really wonder why people called him Papa Ativie, i never knew it was alll because of the great and perfect work that he has been doing that is causing all this. so i quickly contacted him, and he ask me some few questions and he said a thing i will never forget that anyone who contacted him is ! always getting his or her healing in just 6 hours after doing all he ask you, so i was amazed all the time i heard that from him, so i did all things only to see that at the very day which he said i will be healed, all the strenght that has left me before rush back and i becomes very strong and healthy, this disease almost kills my life all because of me, so i went to hospital to give the final test to the disease and the doctor said i am HIV negative, i am very amazed and happy about the healing Dr Ativie gave to me from the ancient part of africa, you can email him now for your own healing too at: ativiehealingspellhome@gmail.com. thank you sir for healing me from HIV

Grecia Joy@facebook

I Am Mrs joy grecia, i live in Texas
(USA).
[READ MY STORY. ON HOW I GOT
MY AIDS
CURED].
Truthfully, i was tested HIV + positive last
3years. I keep on managing the
drugs i
usually purchase from the
health care
agency to keep me healthy and strenghtful, i
tried all i can too make this
disease leave me
alone, but unfortunately, it
keep on eating
up my life, this is what i caused myself, for
allowing my fiance make sex to
me unsecurely without
protection, although i
never knew he is HIV positive.
So last few 4days i came in contact with a
lively article on the internet on
how this
Powerful Herb Healer get her
well and
healed. So as a patient i knew this will took
my life 1 day, and i need to live
with other
friends and relatives too. So i
copied out the
Dr nena the traditional healer's
email id:hivcurer@gmail.com,
and i mailed him immediately, in
a little while
he mail me back that i was welcome to his
temple home wereby all what i
seek for are
granted. I was please at that
time. And i
continue with him, he took some few details
from me and told me that he
shall get back
to me as soon as he is through
with my
work. I was very happy as heard that from
him. So Yesterday, as i was just
coming from
my friends house, Dr ataso
called
me to go for checkup in the hospital and see
his marvelous work that it is
now HIV
negative, i was very glad to
hear that from
him, so i quickly rush down to the nearest
hospital to found out, only to
hear from my
hospital doctor called Browning
Lewis that i
am now HIV NEGATIVE. I jump up at him
with the test note, he ask me
how does it
happen and i recide to him all i
went
through with Dr . I am now glad, so i
am a gentle type of person
that need to
share this testimonies to
everyone who seek
for healings, because once you get calm and
quiet, so the disease get to
finish your life
off. So i will advice you contact
him today for
your healing at the above details:
Email ID:
hivcurer@gmail.com

Frank Silver@facebook

I never had it in mind that thing were ever going to come back to normal, My name is Frank Silver and i am so pleased to thank Dr Ekpiku for doing what he knows how to do best that is bring back lost lover. My lover and myself has some stress with each other and it let to our break up, After a while i was missing my lover and i needed Him back but he refuse to pick my call or reply my mails or test message. During my search on the internet i saw the details of Dr Ekpiku which were via email: Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com and i contacted Dr Ekpiku and by his help i was able to get my lover back within 48 hours. If you are having any stress in your marriage or relationship contact Dr Ekpiku today so that you can also testify of his powers

Anita Morgan@facebook

Thanks to Prophet daniel, my Husband is back to me after our divorce
lasted for 2 years, he loves me more now, i want to share the
testimony of how Prophet daniel got my ex husband back to me in less
than 36 hours after 2 years of divorce. If you are also having
problems in your marriage, please tell Prophet
daniel,prophetdanilo@hotmail.com. He comes highly
recommendable. I can assure you he will help you with whatever
situation you are facing

Tracy Adams@facebook

This is real take it serious, who will believe that a herb can cure 7
years HIV in my body, i never believe that this will work i have spend a
lot getting drugs from the hospital to keep me healthy, what i was waiting
for is death because i was broke. One day i heard about this great man who
is well known of HIV and cancer cure, i decided to email him, unknowingly
to me that this will be the end of the HIV aids in my body, he prepare the
herb for me, and give me instruction on how to take it, at the end of the
two week, he told me to go to the hospital for a check up, and i went,
surprisingly after the test the doctor confirm me negative, i thought it
was a joke, i went to another hospital, it was also negative, then i took
my friend who was also HIV positive to the Dr, after the treatment she was
also confirm negative . He also have the herb to cure cancer... please i
want everyone with this virus to be free, that is why am dropping his
email address, ogboduspellhome@gmail.com...his phone number[2347069492065, 2347050485554]... do email him he is a great man.
Thank you for saving my life, and I promise I will always testify for your
good work.

Williams Sylvia@facebook

DR EZIZA, has amazed me as I have seen results from everything he has done for me, often quite fast. While I have been to other spellcasters who I believe tried their best; DR EZIZA, simply is the best, being truly gifted and having written the book on it. In addition, his integrity truly sets him apart in the field as he has told me several times I did not need a spell when he just as easily could have said I did. He is a truly kind and generous person who took time out on a weekend recently to help with a difficult ongoing case for me which brought him no personal gain. His work resulted in an all out miracle with a man I have been in love with for two years. his email: ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or +2348058176289

Alex Moore@facebook

my name is alora yoo, I don't no how to tell the world the greatest thing that happen in my life.I was so sick that I lose all the money I have in so many hospital still yet there was no solutions on till I go for blood test for different hospital almost five doctor told me I am H.I.V positive. & after then all hope I have was lost, I was waiting for death to come. One night I woke up in mind night start crying so my mind told me to check in Google so I see many testimony about. Dr samura I was daunting if the man is real, he is a great man but just because of the testimony of his good news.I said let me try and email him he reply me back I told him my problems he said that he will reply me back ten minute time after he consult the oracle. So he reply me after ten minute and told me the doctors were says the truth of my blood test. He said it was spiritual H.I.V. I was having that he can be able to help me. So I respond to all the things he ask me to do. then he ask me if i need spell casting or herbal cure then i choose herbal.after all the preparation then he send the herbal cure and i do according to what he said and i believe he can cure my illness. after using the herbs, i call him that i am through with the herbs and he tell me to go for checkup in three different hospital the doctors were wonder and told me I am now H.I.V. Negative..he is specialize on hiv,cancer,love spell,and metal problem. I am very very to thankful to you Dr samura for doing great in my life thank ones again I will never forget you. am grateful.if you are also passing through the same pain that i was please contact the great man via this email mosthighsolutiontemple@hotmail.com or call him 2348151487373

Benson Briggs@facebook

Hello my name is Pauline Philip let me give this testimony to the public about a great man who help me out in serious illness I have HIV AID for good 8 years and I was almost going to the end of my life due to the way my skin look like all I have in my mind is let me just give up because life was no interested to me any longer but I just pray for God every day to accept my soul when ever I’m gone lucky to me my kid sister ran to me that she found a doctor in the internet who can cure HIV/AIDS she helped me out on everything the man ask for my picture, so he can cast a spell on me from his temple after all he ask is done 45mins later I started getting more stronger my blood started flowing normally for 4 to 5 days I start getting Weight before a month my body start developing my skin start coming up after 2month I went for HIV test and I was tested negative I’m so happy that I can say I’m not a HIV patient if you have HIV/AIDS or any sickness please for your sake contact him for cure now on(greatodudukaillhelp@outlook.com) or Call +2348052696216

Mornica Barry@facebook

Hello to everyone here, I'm here to share the unexpected miracles that happened to me three days ago, My Name is morinca I live in United State, and I `m happily married to a lovely and caring husband, two children, a very big problem has occurred in the family seven months ago, between me and my husband so terrible that they took the case to court for divorce, he said that he never again to stay with me, and urging me not as he made the house and grabbed me and my children are passed through a lot of pain. I have tried all my possible means to get him back, after much begging, but all to no avail, and he confirmed that he made ??his decision, and he never wanted me to see her again. So one evening when I returned from work, I met an old friend of mine who asked my husband So I explained everything to her, so she told me that the only way I can get my husband back it is, visit a spell caster, because it really worked for them too so I never believed in spell, but I had no choice but to follow their advice. Then they gave me the email address of the caster, they visited. (drakugbespellhome@gmail.com}, so the next morning I sent an email to the address they gave me, and the spell caster assured me that I get my husband back the next day, what an astonishing statement, I have never believed, so that he spoke to me and told me everything I need to do. then the next morning, so suddenly, that my husband, who has not called me for the past {7} seven months, gave me a call to tell me that he come back So Amazing! So that was how he came back on the same day, with lots of love and joy, and they apologized for their mistake, and for the pain she has me and my children. then from that day, our relationship was stronger than now, as it were before, with the help of a spell caster. So, I'm going to visit to advise there please the same site drakugbespellhome@gmailcom if you are in a state like this, or you have problems that bring on "your ex back. So many thanks to Dr.clement return for my husband and brought back great joy, my family. (drakugbespellhome@gmail.com} Thank you .. you can contact him fore you own help

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