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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

4

Ask Baba Yaga: How Can I Get Over the Fear That This One Physical Feature Makes Me Look Grotesque?

an honor and a magic

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

While I’ve come to mostly accept the body I was born with and use for loving, working, and playing, I can’t help but feel uneasy about one physical feature. It’s not quite a hunchback, but my shoulders are fleshy and my back has a roundness below my neck. When I catch glimpses of my posture in windows or mirrors, I’m always surprised and disappointed. How can this be me? I stretch and do yoga, but I’m afraid it’s not enough to keep me from growing into a grotesque old woman. What should l do?

BABA YAGA:

) All mirrors tell the wrong story . Your cloak-hem has already brushed the ink-pool that mars all of us; the marring of being not as we thought we were. I sit at my mirror daily & make loud laughter, inking my brows & lips with the mar-muck–then I step : through the glass to glimpse other Sights. You have ) made a loveliness of yr body through the moving of it, & the mirror is a false confidant. Evermore, to be as I am is an honor & a magic.

Previously:: "I Got What I Wanted, So Why Do I Feel Hollow?"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.



4 Comments / Post A Comment

angelinha

I once heard someone say, about how pictures of herself always came out awful, "I'm better in 3-D." I loved that (and this).

MadameOvary

I have this too! And my mum does. I know exactly what you mean, you catch sight of it and wonder "Do I look really weird?" For a long time I wouldn't cut my hair because I didn't want it to be more noticeable. Then I decided, fuck that.
Don't worry, it's nothing to do with posture or a hunchback. It's called a Dowager's Hump (sexy I know) and it's just a tough little fat deposit. Located where it is, it's very difficult to just sweat off as I'm sure you noticed, although it will shrink a bit if you lose weight. My mum actually had lipo on hers; it made very little difference. I feel that women with bigger busts tend to have them, don't know if you fit this profile? I was very comforted to see that Christina Hendricks has the tiniest, tiniest hint of one.
As always, the hardest task is to love ourselves. Let's be honest, we don't scrutinise others even 25% as intensely as we scrutinise ourselves. The day anyone ever notices my hump instead of the curve of my waist, my shiny hair or my plumptious arse is the day I will know them to be a sad bastard. And don't even get me started on how good we look from the front!

DrSnorkington

@MadameOvary I have it a well, It's actually not just a fat lump, it is a curve of the spine that develops, called a kyphosis.

There is a relatively simple surgery to correct it, if it bothers you. If you have back pain the surgery can correct that as well. It might be pricy in the US though, I'm not sure.

themegnapkin

@MadameOvary I think I have this. I remember my brother making fun of me for having a lump at the back of my neck (he can be such an asshole). I was in my early teens, I think, and I thought it was due to bad posture, so I worked on developing super-posture to get rid of it. Nobody has ever commented on it except my (asshole) brother. I don't know if my posture did anything towards reducing it, but when I'm standing up straight I think it's less noticeable.

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