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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

13

What My Mom Wants Me to Blog About Instead of This

My Mom: Hi! I didn't know you were blogging today!!

Me: You're obsessed with my Twitter

My Mom: I don't understand most of what you're posting, but you should talk instead about more fun and happy things! Have you heard that song "Happy"? Put that up! People would love it!

Me: You're killing me.

My Mom:  What about Sara Bareilles!! She's really cool! Also you need more news. I think you should blog about Monica Lewinsky.  People find her fascinating! [inserts USA Today article from a week ago]

Me: Who? Doesn't ring a bell.

My Mom: Are you kidding?? She did umm, you know, with Clinton!! I can find an article about it, I just hope weird things don't come up if I search for it...

Me: No, I was kidding!! Please don't google whatever you were about to google! Gotta go...

My Mom: Wait! You should write more pop culture posts. I read that The Mentalist just got renewed for another season starring sexy Simon Baker!!! [inserts USA Today article link]

Me: Eeesh.

My Mom: Also do guys read The Hairpin? You should write about things that would be interesting to them too! Like funny stories about sports and your niece!!

Me: Yeah, guys do love both sports and baby stories...

My Mom: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic? Ok, my last suggestion! For fashion news, I saw that Coldwater Creek is closing :( But we still have Chico's! Ok, I'm meeting a friend for coffee. Can't wait to gossip!

Me: Ooh about what?

My Mom: Just normal girl talk. She's a divorcee so she has good stories.  Also she also thinks her dad's nurse is trying to kill him. Be on later!

 

 

 



13 Comments / Post A Comment

Julie the T

Oh man, this is great. USA Today = the Mom Paper of Record.

Katyola

@Julie the T My mother has told my dad he should read USA Today instead of the local paper on his laptop because she's convinced the local paper has given his computer viruses.

mattewmc

soooooo goooood....love@t

Pela

OMG I want to hear all the divorcée gossip. Also the nurses. But also Monica Lewinsky, because I love reading about crazy historical shenanigans, and she's definitely part of them.

Has anyone else read The Harding Affair, about Pres. Warren G. Harding's pre-WWI affair with the German spy? Dude wrote some seriously steamy love letters, and would give Nicholas Sparks the vapors.

lyzl@twitter

Mom gossip is the best gossip. Always. And don't you make fun of The Mentalist!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

How has your mom heard of Sara Bareilles? My mom probably can't even tell you the name of Beyonce's last album.

Poubelle

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) CBS Sunday Morning did a profile on Sara Barielles, and that's how my mom heard about her. And also they did her latest single on Glee. Though I think my mom is the only person left watching Glee.

Poubelle

Coldwater Creek is closing? My mom will be sad. I hope Talbolts is doing okay!

young preeezy

"But we still have Chico's!"

Awww, I love this. This sounds like my mom.

alexmartin

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