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Monday, April 21, 2014

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The Ballad of the Tabloid Darling

A poem composed entirely of Daily Mail subheds. (Previously: The Love Story of Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne.)

She’s had two children

Posted intimate snaps

Second appearance

Lost control of her top

 

Her Majesty wore blue

Pumping her toned arms

Making sure to put her feet up

With ‘bunny’ Carmen

They looked just like any other family

 

Loading up with festive goodies

A massage room, a library, a spacious pool, and a screening room.

Ivy By the Shore

 

On the Caribbean Island of Mustique

Morning ocean dip in a string bikini

Appeared a decade younger

Small yellow tank top

Tiny tropical shorts

 

She wants to show off

Out to be seen

Cruising with the top down

Due any day now

No official announcement

No longer a reality star

 

Previously: The Best-Dressed Salads

Alyssa Bereznak is a columnist at Yahoo Tech and lives in Brooklyn with her cat.  She tweets sometimes. 



1 Comments / Post A Comment

shiv

Welp, i just fell down that rabbit hole. Thanks.

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