Monday, April 21, 2014


The Ballad of the Tabloid Darling

A poem composed entirely of Daily Mail subheds. (Previously: The Love Story of Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne.)

She’s had two children

Posted intimate snaps

Second appearance

Lost control of her top


Her Majesty wore blue

Pumping her toned arms

Making sure to put her feet up

With ‘bunny’ Carmen

They looked just like any other family


Loading up with festive goodies

A massage room, a library, a spacious pool, and a screening room.

Ivy By the Shore


On the Caribbean Island of Mustique

Morning ocean dip in a string bikini

Appeared a decade younger

Small yellow tank top

Tiny tropical shorts


She wants to show off

Out to be seen

Cruising with the top down

Due any day now

No official announcement

No longer a reality star


Previously: The Best-Dressed Salads

Alyssa Bereznak is a columnist at Yahoo Tech and lives in Brooklyn with her cat.  She tweets sometimes. 

2 Comments / Post A Comment


Welp, i just fell down that rabbit hole. Thanks.


This was awesome.@a

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