Thursday, March 20, 2014


The Heartland Pie


Previously: The Rom-Com Pie

Ann Friedman is thrifting her little heart out.

40 Comments / Post A Comment

Citizen Christy

This is really bumming me out. It's my favorite thing the 'pin does these days, but this is kind of ... mean-spirited. (Also, most of the vegans and vegetarians I know are from the Midwest. So there's that.)


@Citizen Christy I was literally just offered a choice of tuna salad or chicken salad as a vegetarian option when I was in Indiana, so there is some truth to this pie..

Clara Morena

@Citizen Christy My grandmother grew up vegetarian during 1930s in Minnesota


@Citizen Christy Ann Friedman is from (and has vocally expressed her love for) the Midwest, so I think it's meant to be affectionate ribbing more than anything...


omg omg omg omg omg best ever!@k


Agreed with Citizen Christy. This actually feels really dated, frankly.


100% jeans with rhinestones and flap pockets are considered fashionable.


Also, I didn't get the impression of mean spiritedness but kind of like it more now that it's been pointed out. It is the Midwest, after all.


Sometimes the truth hurts.


:( This one sorta bums me out. Couldn't you point out how nice everyone is? Or how strangers will ask you if you're lost and point you in the right direction? Or how there is serious state/city-pride concerning what fatty food is the fattiest?


@sluts4ever Can you share the fatty food list? I am always on the hunt for my next favorite food. I learned about mac & cheese muffin cups from a friend, for example. Hit me with your best shots. :)


@adorable-eggplant Weeelllllllll, in Wisconsin one of their specialties is beer and cheese soup, which is exactly what you think it is and it is delicious/makes you poop. They also have fried fish Fridays. Like fish sticks, but for grown ups.

In Springfield, Illinois they have this amazing thing called a Horseshoe Sandwich, which is texas toast, topped with meat (hamburger usually), topped with french fries, topped with cheese. It will make your heart stop, but it feels so gooooooood.

And then my lovely city of Chicago: brats/sausages, deep dish pizza, and basically anything you can think of, deep-fried.


GUYS guys guys guys guys the Hairpin is VERY PRO MIDWEST. A full 50% of our staff has lived in the Midwest for the last two annums. Maybe I will make an all-things-that-are-lovable-about-the-Midwest pie sometime! But in the meantime, harmless jokes.


@j-i-a I'd like to contribute to that pie: 100% baked brie. I love that stuff so much. It would be my queso consolation if I ever had to leave the south west.


@adorable-eggplant And lest it sounds like I am knocking on the midwest: trust, my love of cheese knows no geographical boundaries. Also 150% cheese curds.


@j-i-a I am from the midwest and I approve this pie.


@j-i-a "Amazing Foods of the Midwest" could be its own article. Mmm... pie.


I guess I should consider it a "win" that a piece wasn't devoted to wearing cheesehead hats.


Agggh the Christian radio gets me every road trip! Then I'm like, well, maybe if I liked it before I realized it was Christian, I should still like it? But I just can't rock out any more.

Oh, and I've lived in the Midwest for nigh on four-score annums and I do own eucalyptus swag, and to this pie I say, yup, that's us.


@LilyB I am the WORST at identifying christian rock. True story: one time I was talking to a friend and said, "Hey, did you know that Jars of Clay has a christmas album? Isn't that weird." And she rolled her eyes so hard I thought they would explode and was like: "Um, you know they're a christian band, right? Jars. of. clay. It's a biblical reference." Middle school was hard.


@LilyB And the eucalyptus swag was the one thing where I thought, "naww, that cannot even be a real thing," so I am glad you confirmed that for me. Is it like a wreath?


The stacked bob haircut thing is SO TRUE. I spent two years in Nebraska, and easily 80% of the women I encountered had some version of that haircut, usually with highlights. It was like one of those bad 80's/90's hair salon look books come to life.


@Katni The Stacked Bob is everywhere. It's one of the few "Hairstyles" left … I mean, besides the Stacked Bob we've only got The Pixie. No other hairstyle even has a name because they are not hairstyles but just haircuts. Long layers is a description. Blunt bangs too, and it only describes the front. Shoulder length could be anything. The Shag is still around, but it's so difficult to pull off. A lot more people can pull off the Stacked Bob. I think that's why it's still around. Some people just want a Hairstyle. Personally I've always preferred a haircut to a Hairstyle, but I'm a minimalist.


@Katni ok but what *is* a stacked bob?


These jokes are as overdone as the pot roast I'll be serving for dinner tonight amid my Hummel figurines and strains of Christian roccckkkkk. Seriously, so much from writers on the coasts and this is how the 'Pin decides to represent the Midwest? Bah.

K I'm done being cranky now. Just thought I'd throw in $0.02.


@TaffetaDarling 50% of Hairpin staff lives in the Midwest. 1 out of 2 of us. I'm a fan! I'll write something about it soon.


100% agree with the stacked bob bit, I will say.

Better to Eat You With

Oh, give me a break. Mean-spirited or not, this has no relationship whatsoever with reality. Substitute "suburb anywhere in the early 1990s," and maybe—maybe—you're onto something.


There's a stretch of highway through Rockford where you can only pick up the Christian Rock and I am ashamed to say I thought it was an alt-rock station for YEARS.


@DullHypothesis This is also true in some areas of West Texas (at least it was, the last time I did a major road trip). Sometimes you just gotta shrug and embrace it... or plan ahead and make a mix cd.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Pretty sure Michelle Obama is from the Midwest


@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Chicago, which is definitely the midwest city I could imagine living in, if I knew how to function in snow.

ETA: I have also heard nice things about St. Louis. Namely that they have a really cool museum.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@adorable-eggplant I don't know how to make the small words on here, so just pretend I'm whispering: *it's a callback*


@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Aha, now I remember that pie.

(and now that I remember that pie, it makes total sense; my inability to read sarcasm really is certifiable)


Navy Pier on a Saturday in June: 100% Stacked Bobs.


As a Midwesterner, I pride myself on being able to recognize Christian rock radio within hearing just a few chords - it's something about the cheap production quality. Also, I once ate at a restaurant where the "veggie burger" was just a hamburger with lettuce and tomato.

Clara Morena

I have a bob( just under the chin) and that is considered "risque" in my after school program most of the women(mothers,teachers etc) have long hair. Needles to say this makes me happy how I stand out with a bob.
Oh, I also work in California.


Lived half my life in San Francisco, returned to the "Heartland" ten years ago. While I miss some of the food opportunities, the weather and the mountains, I sure don't pine for the provincial, parochial, in-bred hipper-than-thou-ists. Had a writer from Chicago, say, or Milwaukee, or St. Louis submitted a similar chart, listing the peculiarities of either coast, her editor would have scrapped it, as a tired, and obvious, and altogether weak theme. And: Really? Being called "Honey" is now a punch-able offense? That's just kinda sad.


I've lived in the Midwest for 15+ years, and I'm puzzled by the offense taken to this! It's definitely a stretch to attribute this to some kind of hidden Hairpin hatred for the Midwest.

Also, Christian radio stations vs. 90s alt stations is SO spot on.


@idrathernot Forget hidden hatred, if this were an issue at all it would be an issue of representation. And it's THE MIDWEST, you guys! It's not the deep south! The south suffers from a serious representation issue, but the midwest? No one has ever referred to Minneapolis as a racist city full of nimrods, you know what I mean? (Apologies to Watersmeet, MI)

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