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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

22

How to Make a Successful TV Drama

Mix and match least 10?

- Scars

- Dead or dying animals

- Dead or dying people

- Tattoos

- Twisted sex, especially incest

- Teenage girls and/or women with ASTOUNDINGLY fantastic hair

- Rituals with masks

- Plaid

- Teenage girls and/or women with ASTOUNDINGLY fantastic skin

- Vast quantities of alcohol

- Men with amazing forearms

- Taxidermy

- Unusual teeth

- Children's drawings

- Drawings that look like they could be children's drawings but aren't

- Bugs

- Amazing breasts

- Nobody ever smiling or laughing

- Forests

- Prostitution

- People or things being underwater

- Hot guys with secrets

- Women with scratchy voices

 

Edith Zimmerman watches The Fall, True Detective, The Returned, Top of the Lake, Black Mirror, and Twin Peaks from inside a bug crawling on a scar near the old campground.



22 Comments / Post A Comment

isabelle bleu

FOREARMS YES
Can we please have more incredible forearms on primetime, please

happymisanthrope

I was just about to say that this so fits "The Returned." Also, I want Lena's hair.

Edith Zimmerman

@happymisanthrope MM HMM

Lucienne

I've recently been watching Deadwood, and this list just makes me think that show was way ahead of its time.

Also, I have always longed to be a woman with a scratchy voice. Sometimes I meet women with scratchy voices and I think how much more I deserve the scratchy voice than they do. Even though I know that is absurd. Where is a sea witch when you need her.

I guess in the sea.

antarcticastartshere

LENA'S HAIR ON THE RETURNED THO

Edith Zimmerman

@antarcticastartshere IM SAYING

Pound of Salt

*Googles Black Mirror*

There are shows I still haven't seen THANK HEAVENS

antarcticastartshere

@Pound of Salt OH YOU ARE IN FOR A TREAT

Edith Zimmerman

@Pound of Salt I FEEL YOU. What other shows are there? Please tell me PLEASE

Pound of Salt

@Edith Zimmerman All that's left are the Canadian shows! But The Americans is my favorite thing right now (for the wigs).

Megasus

Vikings hits like half of these, FYI.

Gef the Talking Mongoose

Let's see how this matches up with my favorite show currently on TV.

Teenage girls and/or women with astoundingly fantastic hair, check.
Rituals with masks, metaphorical check.
Plaid, check.
Teenage girls and/or women with astoundingly fantastic skin, check.
Vast quantities of alcohol, check.
Men with amazing forearms, check.*
Taxidermy, check.**
Unusual teeth, check.
Amazing breasts, check.
People or things being underwater, check.***
Hot guys with secrets, OH YES CHECK.
Women with scratchy voices, DOUBLE CHECK LIKE ALL OF THEM.

It's official, RuPaul's Drag Race is the best drama on television right now. You heard it here first.

* Cf. "Pit Crew"
* Stuffed crows, "Game of Thrones" outfit.
** Last season premiere, "I was giving Helen Keller drowning realness". Don't ask.

stroopwafel

Can we talk about the American version of Les Revenants though?! Like... Just... No. I hate to condemn something before even seeing it, but the previews... UGH NO.

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