Monday, March 10, 2014


11 Things We Could Have Done While HBO GO Was Down

Just Two Bros

Did everyone survive HBO GOpocalypse* last night? If you have't heard, HBO GO was temporarily down just as we were all supposed to watch the finale of True Detective. Here is a list of things we could have done instead of refreshing HBO GO:

1. Call our moms and be really nice and sweet to them and not at all agitated and impatient because we were all set to watch our show and already in our soft pants with those birthday cake Oreos all cued up

2. Rewatch Matthew McConaughey's Golden Globes acceptance speech and wonder under what circumstances we would ever use the phrase, "Go get it, my man, my king!" Decide we would keep that phrase in our back pocket only if (read: when) we needed to give a Hoosiers style locker room speech to an L.A. Kings player we were dating

3. Wonder if the part of our brain that has known how to spell McConaughey since A Time to Kill came out is also the same part that refuses to retain any Excel knowledge whatsoever

4. Google why Sandra Bullock and McConaughey broke up in the nineties

5. Think about cleaning our apartments

6. Get the idea to tweet a screenshot of HBO GO being down with the quote "time is a flat circle"

7. Realize everyone just tweeted your "time is flat circle" idea and start to think of another tweet but then just open up the birthday cake Oreos instead

8. Open up a Snapchat and spend way too long wondering if it was sent to just us or if it was a mass snap. Decide we're way too busy to respond, then refresh HBO GO some more

9. Think about vacuuming and feel self-righteous about how industrious we are but then just refresh HBO GO instead

10. Debate who in your own life would be the Rust and who would be the Marty. Come up with no one

11. Do reverse psychology/The Secret where we don't refresh for five whole minutes while pretending we don't even care about what happens on TD but we do this because we read somewhere that if you let go of the idea of results then you are in the Zen flow of life wherein you accomplish all your goals/come into great fortunes/get to watch True Detective

* Sorry :/

3 Comments / Post A Comment


I had a great night watching the season premiere of Bar Rescue so you could always do that next time!


Lol so did I. I really liked it@t


BAH as someone who only started watching this weekend and was looking forward to watching episode 5 right as HBO Go was crapping the bed, this speaks to me.

Instead, I made cookie dough and roasted Brussels sprouts and while both were delicious, I cannot say truthfully that it made up for the ignominy of it all.

Oh, also, I talked to my sister about her trip to a well-known evangelical church for her course on cultural competency in psychology. (We are Jewish.) The pastor there is a dude who, if it came out that he was somehow involved in bizarre occultish murders of marginal women, it would not shock me at all.

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