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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

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The Twelve Days of Female Vengeance: Week Two

We're in the heart of BAM's "Vengeance Is Hers" film series right now, can you feel it?! (Feb. 7 -18.) Hatred and bitterness in the air! Head over to the official site for useful information and plot synopses, and then come back here for more-superficial "reviews," in case you live in New York and are deciding which one[s] to go to, or if you'd want to watch at home, at any point. Actually the more I write and think about it, the less this seems useful to anyone. But, here it is anyway!

Carrie, Brian De Palma (1976, 98 mins.) How is it possible that Carrie just keeps getting better? Soon it will be so good that it can no longer exist. I'm trying to think of actors who've been as perfectly suited to their roles as Sissy Spacek is here. It's madness. Also, was anyone else relieved by how many dental fillings Sue had, at the end, when you can kind of see them? The big screen would be useful for this. She is so beautiful, there has to be something.

Keywords: Blood, prom. Dresses, '70s fashion, short-shorts. Breasts. Hair. Gum, sewing.

Black Sunday, Mario Bava (1960, 87 mins.) Also called "The Mask of Satan," this movie opens with a horrifying scene involving that very mask. Afterward it's less gruesome, although at one point there's sort of an accidental primer on exactly how NOT to behave in a witch's crypt. Jesus. Overall, it's like Nosferatu meets Sleeping Beauty, but sexier. Plus there's an amazing fireplace — with a secret.

Can you guess? Also, if you like a guy and think he could carry you, consider fainting or fake-fainting in his presence. And, "Guy 1: Look, a freshly dug grave! Guy 2: Open the coffin!!" —Nope. The only downside is the slightly frustrating English dubbing. Okay one more pic of Barbara Steele:

Keywords: Robes, mist, horse-drawn carriages. Barbara Steele's amazing teeth and mouth. Also her eye makeup. Crosses.

She-Devil, Susan Seidelman (1989, 99 mins.) Confession: Sadly, this wasn't in the packet of movies I got, and I didn't rent it in time, but here is the trailer, it's perfect:

Moving on...

Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan, Chor Yuen (1972, 86 mins.) I cannot express to you how entertaining this movie is. The title alone is promising, but then it's even better than that. It is amazing. I'd actually encourage you to watch it without reading the description, which I did and am glad about. I mean, just look:

Yep. Mm hmm.

Keywords: Sex, blood, nails. Hair, robes, whirling. Everything.

Nine to Five, Colin Higgins (1980, 110 mins.) I'd been looking forward to this, but then the plot kind of went off the rails and lost me. Everyone's great in it, though — especially the dude who plays the boss. Something something everyone loves Dolly.

Keywords: Endless incredible makeup. Dolly's gold pickup truck, Lily's lipstick, Jane's nightgown. Paper chain headdresses. Marijuana cigarettes. HAIR.

Coffy, Jack Hill (1973, 91 mins.) [Stunned silence at how badass Pam Grier is.] Holy shit.

Also, the clothes:

Keywords: Hair, salad, breasts, guns, drugs, murder. Sunglasses.

Terminal Island, Stephanie Rothman (1973, 88 mins.) Okay, shoot, I didn't have this one either, but here's the (NSFW) trailer. I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS.

And that wraps up our coverage of this amazing series; please go forth and enjoy some movies, and/or get vengeance only if it seems like it really is a good idea OR if you're ready to kill everyone in the world.

Previously: Week One.

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