Friday, February 14, 2014


Happy Valentine's Day to my Xanax

Dear Xanax,

I can’t believe it’s been 15 years. Jesus, how time flies. Immediately before our impromptu rendezvous last night, I spent some time thinking about our memories together and broke down into a fit of frantic tears.

You have supported me through public speaking events, blood draws and first dates. Just last year, you were there when I got stung by a bee at that wedding in Buffalo and collapsed on the church stairs, paralyzed by fear that I had somehow become spontaneously allergic to bee venom. (The bride was slightly displeased with the attention I garned, but you understood my needs, babe. You always understand my needs.)

You were there this summer when I unwittingly met that creepy swinger couple in Boston, and had to mentally hide in my happy place as they openly discussed my breasts.

I can take you anywhere and everywhere. New restaurants, job interviews, Target on a Saturday. Remember that time we went to Pitchfork together and you helped me out during Sleigh Bells? God, what a peaceful moment that ended up being.

We’ve had our struggles. I know at times I’ve strayed. I was young and foolish, and just wanted to experiment with other attractive benzodiazepines. That’s on me. But I always come back to you! You comfort me almost immediately, generally in 18 minutes or less.

I love you and I can’t wait to see you again Monday when I face the throngs of rush hour passengers on the train. I know it’s corny, but you truly complete me. Happy Valentine’s!

Love forever,


Melanie is a writer and researcher living in Logan Square, Chicago, IL who tweets @rileycoyote.

4 Comments / Post A Comment


Very distressing to discover that xanax is not in an exclusive relationship with me. Not cool, xanax, we could have talked about this like adults. You know my triggers!


I love everything about this.@m

Donna Broughal Pelletier@facebook

Xanax addiction is a serious topic and shouldn't be treated so lightly. If I were you I would do some research on it. With the help of a DR you might want to try gradually scaling back and hopefully eventually stop taking it altogether. Just don't go cold turkey that can have serious health problems. Good Luck!


@Donna Broughal Pelletier@facebook

Xanax USE is not the same as Xanax addiction. And nothing in the OP suggests the latter. If you are the type who disapproves of all meds for mental health, to hell with that. Life is hard, and we all get through it in the way that works for us.

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