Tuesday, January 14, 2014


What Character Are You?

I recently saw the Downton Abbey character quiz on Facebook for the zillionth time. FYI, I am the Dowager Countess. Here are some additional personality evaluations for you to consider.


What Downton Abbey character are you?

You are not a character from Downton Abbey. You live in the 21st century, and it is not statistically probable that you live in a castle. Though class issues certainly still exist, your life and choices are not so clearly delineated by class as in post-Edwardian England.

But you're probably Edith.


What Lord of the Rings character are you?

On your best days, you are Gandalf. Most days, Gimli. No one is ever Liv Tyler, except that one really pretty dreamy hippie friend you have who doesn't even check Facebook, so there's no way she's reading this. Dream on, is what I'm saying.


What Simpsons character are you? 

Are you yellow?

How about yellow and black striped?

Okay, you're Bumblebee Man.


What 30 Rock character are you?

You’re when Will Arnett tried to seduce Kenneth while wearing the shorty robe, and you can’t even stand it, can you?


What Hunger Games character are you?

You definitely wouldn’t kill anyone on purpose unless you felt like you had no other choice. You have some special skills, but maybe not anything that would help keep you alive for long while fighting children to the death. You’re vaguely annoyed by Peeta.

You’re Peeta’s parents.


What Friday Night Lights character are you?

Pick a color.

Pick a song.

Pick a movie.

Pick long, wavy copper hair.

Sorry, you are never going to be Tami Taylor, there is just no way.

You are the drummer from Crucifictorious. 


What Fight Club character are you?

Who even cares; it’s 2014.


What Game of Thrones character are you? 

You wake up in a field muddied by blood. Your arm is bleeding badly. To the north, the Wall and unknown dangers beyond. To the west, a rutted road winds toward the horizon. To the south, a stream babbles softly. To the east, your sister sits astride a white horse and winks at you lasciviously.

You need bandages and food before night falls.

What would you like to do?


You have been eviscerated by your sister. You no longer exist. Power has been consolidated. 


What Wes Anderson character are you?

At first glance, Margot Tenenbaum seems pretty glamorous, doesn’t she? Then you realize how sad and dull her life is. What does she even do other than smoke cigarettes? Is this a script issue or just a life issue? Etheline is an archaeologist, so it isn’t like none of the ladies in this movie have anything to do.

*Cue somewhat obscure British invasion song*

Anyway, you’re Badger from The Fantastic Mr. Fox.


Kelley Gardiner is a writer in Portland, Oregon, and tweets about roller derby and manatees.

14 Comments / Post A Comment


I took that Downton Abbey test, even though I don't watch Downton Abbey anymore. Okay, I took it a few times because I was ambivalent about some of my answers and what was I gonna do, real work? No.

Anyway, I got Mrs. Patmore OR Thomas which . . . seems about right.


@Lucienne I expect I only got the Dowager Countess because I like purple (?), but I do enjoy some helpful meddling.


what a fantastic article!@j


I just took the Which The Hairpin Contributor Are You Quiz and got Emma Carmichael, which I'm pretty happy with. I guess I would have been pretty happy with all of them though. If I made an Ann Friedman pie of which The Hairpin contributors I most closely identify with, it would be pretty even between Emma, Ann, and Jia, with a few other little slices in there. But the fact that I chose to write this as a paragraph, instead of making the Ann pie, more or less proves the quiz was right; I'm an Emma.

Emma Carmichael

@Kalorama_Kat WELCOME


@Kalorama_Kat If I put out a bowl of cream, will you stick around longer?

Also I just took the Buzzfeed quiz about which Muppet I was and I got Sweetums? This doesn't seem right.


@stonefruit if you put out a Diva Cup full of catnip, I will NEVER leave.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Kalorama_Kat If that Which Muppet Are You quiz that all my friends took on Facebook back when everyone was doing quizzes is still kicking around, take that one! It is very accurate and I know this because I am Fozzie Bear.

Oh right btw everyone sorry I've kept it a secret for so long but yeah, I'm Fozzie Bear, wocka wocka, etc


@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Dang, I am jealous! Because I love Fozzie Bear, but I got that one that makes that annoying sound, "mnamhna". >:(

When I selected "playing an instrument" and "pizza" I thought I was doomed to Animal...but then in the lowest deep, a lower deep... I mean, does anyone not hate that sound-making guy?

@Kaloram_Kat Diva Cup craft tumblr? Sign me up. Christmas ornaments, egg poaching cups (the possibilities are endless).


My boyfriend is the cleaning robot from Wall-E. I'm not self-aware enough to know who I am. Maybe the dog from UP? I don't like squirrels, but I am enthusiastic.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@adorable-eggplant I'm probably the daughter from The Incredibles. Minus the superpowers. So, that makes me a girl, so yeah. Which is too bad, because I really wish I was Bullseye the horse.

Hot Doom

@adorable-eggplant Ha! I regularly think of my partner as the cleaning robot from Wall-E. He just cannot deal with a stray spoon.

I am definitely a hobbit but not a brave one. More like Bilbo in the beginning of The Hobbit and he forgets his handkerchief at home and wants to turn the group around to go get it.


@Hot Doom Oh man, my dude is OK with intermixed spoons and forks (thank god, because I cannot deal with sorting) but not OK with spills, even the tiniest spill. Also, my shoes used to just sort of disappear into the garage, where we have a little bench for taking off shoes, but I have slowly been trained to take them off at the bench, so now I just have to deal with the fact that they will be in a slightly more orderly arrangement when I come back the next morning. It's like living with a really patient shoe elf.

I could also be a hobbit, because I do like eating and staying at home (and making messes: it's awful).

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I feel really bad for anyone who needs a quiz to find out which Girls character they are.

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account