Friday, January 31, 2014


NFL Mascots, Ranked

28. Indianapolis Colts – Blue, a colt

27. Cleveland Browns – Chomps, a dog

26. St. Louis Rams – Rampage, a ram

25. Cincinnati Bengals – Who Dey, a bengal tiger

24. Houston Texans – Toro, a bull

23. San Diego Chargers – Boltman

22. Oakland Raiders – Raider Rusher, a humanoid

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Captain Fear, a pirate

20. Miami Dolphins – T.D , a dolphin

19. Kansas City Chiefs – K.C. Wolf, a wolf

18. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jaxson de Ville, a jaguar

17. Atlanta Falcons – Freddie Falcon – a falcon

16. Detroit Lions – Roary, a lion

15. Denver Broncos – Miles, a horse

14. Dallas Cowboys – Rowdy, a cowboy

13. Arizona Cardinals – Big Red, a bird

12. New England Patriots – Pat Patriot, an American Revolutionary war hero

11. New Orleans Saints – Gumbo & Sir Saint, a weird dog and a big-chinned saint

10. Seattle Seahawks – Blitz, a "seahawk"

9. Buffalo Bills – Billy Buffalo

8. Baltimore Ravens – Poe, a raven

7. Carolina Panthers – Sir Purr, a panther

6. Tennessee Titans – T-Rac, a raccoon

5. Pittsburgh Steelers – Steely McBeam, a steelworker

4. Philadelphia Eagles – Swoop, an eagle

3. Chicago Bears – Staley Da Bear, a bear

2. San Francisco 49ers – Sourdough Sam, a 49er

1. Minnesota Vikings – Ragnar, a human Viking


Photo via internetsense/flickr.

Megan Reynolds  lives in New York, but left her heart with Michael Crabtree.

12 Comments / Post A Comment


So my takeaway from this is that everyone outside Ohio, Maryland, and Minnesota leaves the job of naming their mascots to a focus group of kindergartners.

Ragnarrrr forever!!!


Excellent feel.@l


Never thought I would see the day the Vikings ranked number one.


Gumbo isn't just a weird dog, he's a weird SAINT Bernard! Get it, get it.


I'm disappointed that there aren't more suburban pests represented. A raccoon is a good start, but where are you Petey Possum, Selena Squirrel, and Foamy the Disoriented Gopher?


@LacunaKale OMG if Foamy the Squirrel were a mascot I might actually start watching professional sports!

de Pizan

I think Boltman and Raider Rusher are the most awful. Especially Boltman. It's like Max Headroom and Mac Tonight from the McDonald's commercials had a terrifying terrifying baby.


Jaxon de Ville is clearly the best.


Also, the Dolphins mascot is wearing a helmet, but the logo no longer features a dolphin wearing a helmet.

You know, the Miami Dolphins started having problems right around the same time they took the helmet off their helmet dolphin. COINCIDENCE?! This is what happens when you aren't keeping safety first.


Also also, this list is flawed. The Vikings' mascot is Viktor, not Ragnar. Rangar is not team-owned.


Wait, wait, wait - not to nitpick, but these are AFL mascots as well as NFL mascots, and if you're going to include the AFL, you forgot the best one ever: The New York Jets' mascot is literally a jet. A JET. A JET AIRPLANE. No one else even comes close.


Redskins, Jets, Giants, Packers????

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