Thursday, January 2, 2014


The Gift of Small Predictions: January Horoscopes from Galactic Rabbit

Welcome to My Mystic Galaxy Lair, Hairpin Readers. It is my pleasure to offer you this gift of small predictions, warnings and love-notes. This is an informal tea, a midnight crumpet party, so take what you need and leave the rest. All My Cosmic Love, Galactic Rabbit

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): Capricorn, inscrutable animal, it’s your month. The Sun and Moon are with you and illumination is yours. HARK! The cosmos sings your name so take the risk and sing along. It’s time to make a home of your body, the house you are always building but never have time to reside in. Have you made yourself dinner? Was it nourishing? Give yourself permission to sit and be still. It’s someone else’s turn to do the small jobs that keep the world rotating. Be mindful how you ask for what you need—but, by all means, ask! Mid-January is the time to recharge: when the wood horse brings in the Chinese New Year, all bets for leisure time are off. My love, you do not have endless reserves; you are an animal of the earth and you must be cared for.

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18): Captain my Captain, what face does the bow of your ship sport? What talisman will steer you through the widening waves? What brings you back to shore? Oh, I know you are your own best boat. Where others see uncertainty, you see a pattern. There’s a star-map folded small and square in the pocket of your jeans. Aquarius, you are foolproof until you become the fool. No, there’s nothing you can do. The world can make a fool of you whenever it wants; none of us are immune and none of us are invulnerable. As Venus moves retrograde from Capricorn to Sagittarius, keep your hand on your heart and steady your breath. The aching you feel is too magical to be imagined, too beautiful to be weak.

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Pisces, great mystic, could I tell you something you don’t already know? Let this note act as a reminder (from who else but that Pema Chödrön): The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves. My beautiful rainbow fish, do you feel stripped of all your scales? Have you given it all away? Hold on. Even loneliness can be a blessing. Take this moment to appreciate just how many chances the world has given you to show up. This month, lay your defenses down and listen. Look at this wide ocean of humanity around you. We have all suffered in our own ways. Isn’t there something beautiful about each of your scales, shining on in your absence? Love is the art of forgiveness. Make an offering and expect nothing in return.

Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19): Now is the time to practice your best self. If you keep finding yourself with a foot in your mouth, practice the art of silence. If you find yourself diving head first into empty pools, it’s time to look before you leap (and I mean some real, deep looking). Aries, I know that you are on a path toward greater knowing. There will be time next month, my fire-starter, for all the brave things you feel you must do. This month calls for a grounding. Time to get your hands dirty and your head right. Build a fire pit and circle it with stones. Be intentional. Ask someone you admire to sit with you by the kindling light and tell that person something true about yourself. Both of you will be the better for it.

Taurus (Apr 20-May 20): Has December left you feeling tender? Are you walking around your home righting your knick-knacks and muttering to yourself? Like, where the fuck is Venus right now and why can’t she come home and tell you how loved you are? Did you know that your tenderness is your secret hidden power? (Talk about a Care Bear Stare!) You may ask yourself: when the powers that rule me spend all their time in backward motion, how can I move forward? With pure will, that’s how. I know you have it in you. I’m not worried and you shouldn’t be either. Let the ground beneath you give you comfort. When you charge forth, the earth will hold you up.

Gemini (May 21-Jun 20): You know how Joni Mitchell sings, Constantly in the darkness… where’s that at? If you need me I’ll be at the bar? Well, if you don’t, here’s the breakdown: Joni’s loose for this reckless element (male in pronoun, but I’m not a stickler). Everything in the Universe is telling her it’s not worth it but she’s drunk on love and wildness. She’s acting like all he’s got to do is Wise Up and he can Get It. Well listen, it’s intense out there—all those dark planets and their waves of influence. It feels easier to give up, doesn’t it? Gemini, last month, the moon filled your heart with cosmic truth. Now Jupiter is in your court, blessing your next move. You know what you have to do.

Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): It’s been a rough year, hasn’t it? Well, it’s not about to get easier and you shouldn’t wait on a break. Not that I expect you to! If there’s anything I’ve learned about Cancers, it’s that you know how to weather a storm. Even if that storm is a barrage of errands, disappointments, responsibilities and crying babies (whom you love dearly, I know). Weathering storms does cut into your personal time, however. Have you forgotten about your own needs, Cancer? Are you so busy solving crises (or creating a crisis to be solved) that you barely remember the joy you once took in life’s small surprises? There is work you must do for yourself, Cancer, work that feeds your soul. Look at that moon—it’s coming home to you! Get ready for some superpowers and don’t let them go to waste.

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22): Let’s you and I sit down for a coffee, share one cup, and warm our hands. Friendship is a form of human sustenance and when my heart speaks to yours we both feel full. I wouldn’t take you for granted and I know you wouldn’t let me. The question is, my Lion, when do you take more than you give? Mary Oliver, goddess of the Barnes & Noble poetry section, writes: You don’t have to be good. Right on, but perhaps you should practice being kind. Sometimes getting grounded takes building a foundation. You don’t always get what you give but sometimes the satisfaction is in the giving. I’m not trying to dip you in the vestiges of holiday spirit. I’m saying: If the cup’s empty and I’m ordering another, baby—this time, it’s on you.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Are your feet dipped in lead, Virgo? If not, then why is it so damn hard to move? Are you spent? A worry stone rubbed down to a small groove? Do you feel like you’ve been trying your best and falling short? Is your ratio of emotional risk to emotional breakdown 1:1? If your relationships feel saturated in conflict and miss-communication, take heart, Mars is haunting you and it’s not your fault. And don’t forget Pluto stripping you down to your most vulnerable. Oh look, Capricorn’s all get some balance and things will be fine. WHERE DOES ONE GET BALANCE? Breathe deep, Virgo. It’s one leaden foot at a time and before long you’ll be human again, I promise. Not just human but a human with the power to create beauty in the world. We need you, Virgo, come back to us.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Libra, have you ever read Bluets by the one and only Maggie Nelson? It’s an epic meditation on love and sadness in the form of what I’d like to call “dispatches.” One such dispatch should resonate with you at this moment: Mostly I have felt myself becoming a servant of sadness. I am still looking for the beauty in that. Sometimes sadness is a coat one must take off and hold firmly in their arms. Libra, maybe it’s time you stop scrolling through that OKC account just hoping an angel’s face will appear. Libra, don’t be so hard on yourself when the words in your throat stay lodged there like pieces of a stale bagel. Forgive yourself when you think you are not enough, you are always enough.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21): Oh Scorpio, it’s time to start saying goodbye to the year of the snake and preparing for the horse! You’ve done enough shedding. I know the New Year feels like a burden—how shall we reinvent ourselves yet again? But this calendar is one of many. For the Jewish among us, the New Year began in September. The Chinese New Year, on the other hand, comes on at the end of the month. It’s high time and new moon that we stop leaning on pre-determined dates to embrace our desires and destinations. Excuse me while I quote Team Dresch now: remember who you are, or make up who you are. When you are ruled by a planet that doesn’t exist, Scorpio, anything is possible.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21): Sagittarius, who do you love? Don’t answer now—I won’t count the time against you. Venus is moving backwards through Sagittarius, but Mercury is dancing in the borderlands. Ground control to Major Tom, balance your spaceship or get ready for a rough landing. This is no time to check out star formations, new planets, and the abundance of the Milky Way. Where are you going? Who are you going with? Is this mission worth the risk? You already know the answers so trust your intuition. Being true to yourself can coincide with being kind to the people who care for you. Are you sitting in a tin can far above the moon? If you look you might notice a tether, a string that touches another can. I’ve heard communication is feasible if you want it bad enough.

Gala Mukomolova is a poet ruled by Pluto, a planet in our hearts.

39 Comments / Post A Comment


Can we have this every month?


@bluewindgirl :)


this is like...wow...@k


I feel silly crying at Internet horoscopes but damn, Virgo cryin' right here at the spot-on-ness. Thank you Galactic Bunbun.


@BattyRabbit You're not alone, Virgo. In fact, I really think Virgos should gather monthly and check in with each other.

Futon Revolutionista

@BattyRabbit Fellow Virgo, not quite crying but equally floored by spot-on-ness. It's been a rough few months. Hug.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Goddamn, as a Cancer, it HAS been a rough year! So I'm looking forward to those superpowers, please and thank you, moon.

Eyre Apparent

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Oh my god, hasn't it? Maybe if we concentrate together from our respective shells we can amplify the positive possibilities cos, sister, I am in need of a break.


Tears (in the best way). That is all.


"When you are ruled by a planet that doesn’t exist, Scorpio, anything is possible." Hahahaha

Also wow, this hit home. Galactic rabbit 4eva.


Galactic Rabbit, this Libra got weirdly misty at "Forgive yourself when you think you are not enough, you are always enough." Galactic Rabbit, how do you knowwwww?


@yeah-elle <3 my Venus is in Libra. It's a pervasive feel.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@yeah-elle My venus is in Gemini, so this means I'm supposed to not really feel one thing or another, but I feel things about this. Real things.

Briony Fields

@yeah-elle Sad Libras unite! This is the very passage that made me tear up, and that I scrolled down here to comment on. Weirdly enough, I really needed to hear that right now.


@yeah-elle I've read it six times because I can't believe how real it is. Sigh.


@yeah-elle I was feeling sad as I scrolled past my ex[of a million years ago]'s horoscope. And then I read mine and felt like I had a bit of stale bagel stuck in my throat. Eerily accurate. :(

Tape Recorder

@yeah-elle Yet another sad Libra here, weirded out by the Galactic Rabbit's accuracy but still comforted by its words (and camaraderie).


On par with The Rumpus' Madame Clairvoyant. Brava, Galactic Rabbit!


Galactic Rabbit, you are so much better than Susan Miller this month. I absolutely need to be intentional and tell people true things about myself.


@SmartCookie Whoa. That feels almost blasphemous to read. I am truly honored.

Bob Loblaw

Wow, the "Forgive yourself when you think you are not enough, you are always enough." is potently, directly reflective of what I (Libra) have been working on/struggling with/thinking about. Thank you Galactic Rabbit, for being my new hero! Susan...who?


@Bob Loblaw Haha, Susan who indeed.


Well you got all us Librans' numbers. Wow, amazing.


Had to create a profile so I could leave a comment saying... thank you, thank you, thank you! Love this and am looking forward to more!


can I just say that my number one goal for January is to DTMFA and you guys I am a Gemini and this spoke to me aaaah

Iggles McFearson

Man, Libra is pertinent- I'm not a Libra but my boyfriend (well, ex-boyfriend) is, and we just broke up two days ago because he is a "servant of sadness" and can't get out of it, and he evidently doesn't want to drag me through his depression and neuroses. All the feels, Galactic Rabbit.

Briony Fields

I'm having tiny chuckles at all the bummed out Libras drawn out by this post. Just....you know. So many of us! Where did we all come from? This rabbit is truly cosmic.

Miss Maszkerádi

This Taurus has indeed been ruled by backward-moving forces for.....entirely too long, and very much needs Venus to come home. Thanks for seeing me, Galactic Rabbit (and thanks for being called Galactic Rabbit because seriously that's flawless.)


I never really understood A Case of You and I don't have any big decisions to make, but I always appreciate a Joni Mitchell reference. I will now revisit Both Sides Now and have a good cry... thank you Emma Thompson and Galactic Rabbit for this cleansing moment.


@meowmischen I'm glad there was something I could offer you!


"With pure will, that’s how. I know you have it in you. I’m not worried and you shouldn’t be either. Let the ground beneath you give you comfort. When you charge forth, the earth will hold you up."

That really touched me, thank you. I really hate Winter Break and I actually HAVE been walking around my apartment slowly going crazy. This upcoming year I'm conducting my own research AND getting married right after the other and its really nice to hear the universe say, "Come on, you know we're not worried."

I won't be worried either then :) I'll do my best.


This is perfect. "It’s time to make a home of your body, the house you are always building but never have time to reside in." Seems especially Capricorn, no? (As in, we're a bit too practical for body-image issues, but tend to treat our bodies like machines for achieving things)

Grace Anne Boucher@facebook

This is wonderful. As an Aquarius I was brought nearly to tears. This is exactly, EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Both encouragement, and a little warning. Because I'm about to take a risk, and I may make a huge fool of myself. But I am doing it anyway.


Beautiful horoscopes, I'm trying to give them up. Silly question, if I'm very late in the Capricorn piece, a few days before the end, can I be a bit of Aquarius, too? Aquarius' star map is what I want to believe I hold right now. Just had my first relationship in years where it felt like it could be long-term and something special, then I had to break it off for sensible, adult, "better off doing this when the timing is not going to destroy any chance it has" reasons.
Also, I'm a fool, constantly.


@MissJudgeMental I think our zodiac charts are full of nuance and working parts. The fact is you could be a Cap with LOTS of Aquarius in your chart. Check out astro.com for personal profile chart, I discovered that site when I was 14 an have all my exs' charts saved there! The variance of charts is why I encourage people to read for what they need rather than take it all on as right or wrong.


@GalacticRabbit Thank you for your kind reply. I'll go look at that website.


Isn't Bluets the best? I'm a Taurus feeling a little starved by December; thanks for the encouraging words re the earth being enough to hold me. I needed that.


I don't mean to be strange here, but I would consider having "get ready for some superpowers and don’t let them go to waste," tatooed onto my skin! Or maybe I will at least make some artwork out of the lettering and hang it where I might see it every day...

Blessing Emily@facebook

i am so happy today for what Dr abubakar of drabubakarlovespell@gmail.com he is a great spell caster. i have and my family have be living together in peace and love we were married for 10 years with two beautiful kids everything went smoothly until a husband started staying out late and would beat me up with any excuse he gets, he wold always get drunk and i was bent on finding out what the problem was and i discovered that he was seeing a young woman outside who he was planning to move in together and was preparing a divorce i became devastated as i love my husband so much and i looked for help i contacted many spell casters but nothing happened until i met with Dr abubakar, who told so many things and said i should worry about nothing that all will be well and told he will cast a spell that will bring my husband back to me and he was true to his words i want you all to help me thank and i promised him that i will always tell people of his good works he is a powerful spell caster contact for what ever problems you have and he will help you out of it okay here's his email address drabubakarlovespell@gmail.com contact him he is a powerful spell caster and i pray he help you out too once again his mail is drabubakarlovespell@gmail.com your daughter Blessing Emily from USA

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