Quantcast

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

38

Here Is Lorde's Birth Certificate

How old is the New Zealand singer Lorde, certain particularly obnoxious Internet circles have been wondering over the last few months. (Not without cause: "[The Virgin Suicides] really resonated with me as a teenager," the singer told Rookie's Tavi Gevinson recently. "I mean," she continued, "I am still a teenager.")

The fine country of New Zealand, for $17.02, has provided us with what they say is a copy of Lorde's birth certificate. Lorde's full name: Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O'Connor. Lorde's DOB: 7 November 1996. Lorde, two-time Grammy winner, is 17 years old. The above documentation effectively shuts down any lingering doubts in regards to Lorde's real age, a question that had emerged more actively in recent weeks.

At last, Lorde age truthers, the rumors can be put to rest: Lorde is not old, she is just more talented and successful than you were at 16 or perhaps than you ever will be, really. (She's also quite funny about it.) Lorde is not old, she is just precocious as hell.



38 Comments / Post A Comment

mirah

This is such good satire of other self-identified lady blogs that my first reaction was outrage. Well done, Emma. Well done.

isavedlatin

Ah, 1996. A great year. For me to graduate from high school :/

Better to Eat You With

@isavedlatin College, here, if I hadn't dropped out for a while.

kanika

my Aunty Harper got an awesome gold Mazda CX-9 SUV just by some parttime working online with a cheap laptop... visit this site right here

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥ ❥ bit.ly/1mQR1wy ❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

stavros

Very good job! Loved it!@m

hellolovely

I have never not believed her, but she does look she's 35. I can understand why people are dubious.

stuffisthings

Ah yes, the time-honored tactic of producing a birth certificate. That always shuts down birthers.

stuffisthings

@stuffisthings by the way, I notice that so-called "birth certificate" doesn't say anything about BENGHAZI. What is Lorde hiding???

Emma Carmichael

@stuffisthings Exactly. Keep ~~~searching~~~.

j-i-a

@stuffisthings

Clare

@stuffisthings L O R D E G H A Z I

kateek

@stuffisthings This is clearly a fake. New Zealand didn't even have printers until 2007.

Jess Young@facebook

@kateek I must have made up all of those memories I have of printing things out when I was growing up in NZ in the 90s ...

Radio_LJ

But...but...she looked so old at the Grammys...like Alanis Morissette-old.

Onymous

@Radio_LJ People grow up fast in the mean streets of Auckland

Debris

My daughter was born a month later, and she does think she is 35. In addition: I am super embarrassing, know nothing about how hard it all is, and just don't understand. GAHHD.

Alastair

nice post, loved reading this.

Helvetica

I love how seriously People.com is taking this: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20780855,00.html
All their commenters are in a tizzy that someone can just order a copy of a birth certificate. What outrage!

shantasybaby

@Helvetica WHY did I start reading all of the People comments? Because I hate myself? I am also strangely excited that Lorde and I have the same birthday (not the same year because unlike her I am an old.)

bababa

What about birthtime? hello, need it for astrology

Gizmoguy

O love her music and thing she has lots of talent unlike some of theses big bosom female POP singers that make their way to the top with absolutely no talent. This girl will go far.

Gizmoguy

Great Singer and one of my favorite video/song is tennis court if she is only 17 years old she has a voice like someone in their mid 20's. Natural supplements

youjizz

or spatial limitations, the photography fragments too much in shut up-up fashion. And yet Neeson fragments undoubtedly the tough-guy brave man of the movie first you jizz by his impressive physicality, but also more importantly by his thespian muscles that lend his tortured symbol sufficiency of gravitas despite some brutally unbending conference at the more supposedly poignant moments.

poony2014s

i visit ur site so manay time i love to visit ur site more then two time in a weak.
Free Download Pc Game

sulfate free shampoo

This is such good satire of other self-identified lady blogs that my first reaction was outrage. Well done, Emma. Well done
sulfate free shampoo list

Quang Minh@facebook

hello, need it for astrology chua tac tia sua

JoseMang33

She is so pretty in my opinion. - Marla Ahlgrimm

1850070210@twitter

Waaaa Congrats for yourself Guys. aplikasi android joz
Realy the rumors can be put to rest

103215437@twitter

Hi, I discovered your records very exciting. You have a awesome abilities of composing a brief material. Thanks for referring to this, it is really a useful for me. I am going to protect this.
world population day 2014 theme

Sajid Ali@facebook

The pellicle is way too lengthy, the rise stretches a lot, the middle even more, watch series the closing part as well. We are treated to a lot of badly written human characters who just deliberate the movie down and make tense.

Lucy23

I realy like these article. I fund many informations!registracija domene

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account