Thursday, December 19, 2013


Teenage Girls, as Imagined By an 8-Year-Old in 1991

Jennifar Ann, 16 yrs
Hobby: Swimming
Best friend: Kristin
Boyfriend: Tony
Lives: Miami

Kristin, 16 yrs
Hobby: Soccer
Best friend: Jennifar Ann
Boyfriend: Sam
Lives: Miami


Terri, 15 yrs
Hobby: Hockey
Best friend: Ellen
Boyfriend: Kevin
Lives: California


Ellen, 15 yrs
Hobby: Collecting green striped things
Best friend: Terri
Boyfriend: Alex
Lives: California


Sammi, 14 yrs
Hobby: Drawing
Best friend: Karen
Boyfriend: none
Lives: New York


Karen, 14 yrs
Hobby: Swimming
Best friend: Sammi
Boyfriend: Tom
Lives: New York


Hobby: Drinking
Best friend: none
Boyfriend: none
Lives: Louisiana


Tammy, 17 yrs
Hobby: Tanning
Best friend: Tina
Boyfriend: Ian
Lives: Orlando


Tina, 16 yrs
Hobby: Gymnastics
Best friend: Tammy
Boyfriend: Cris
Lives: Orlando


Jessica, 14 yrs
Hobby: Shopping
Best friend: Shanon
Lives: Los Angeles


Shanon, 14 yrs
Hobby: Baseball
Best friend: Jessica
Boyfriend: Scott
Lives: Los Angeles


46 Comments / Post A Comment


Oh, Michelle. Maybe if you didn't spend all your time drinking, you might be able to land a boyfriend or make some friends.


@MandyAnne Don't we all just feel like Michelle sometimes though


@mollpants We Are All Michelle


@j-i-a I stand with Michelle! (And then we do shots together and I help her stumble home from the bar.)

Edith Zimmerman

@brista128 But you don't become friends


@Edith Zimmerman Michelle is the loneliest number


@mollpants We all know what happened to Poor Michelle


lol......awesome though...@t


Glamorous Sammi's fast-paced New York life is too sophisticated for side-ponytails or boyfriends.

p.s. this is beautiful.

Jona Whipple@facebook

OH I love these so much! A girl in my class in 4th grade used to draw girls, only hers were this weird dichotomy of "good girls" and "bad girls." I remember the good girls had Z. Cavaricci jeans and carried books, the bad girls wore miniskirts and had arrows fanning out from their shoulders to the margins that were labeled "no braw." Wear your braws, girls.


Hobby: Collecting green striped things


Oh my god, I did this exact same thing (with the fun facts & little outfits & everything). hahaha


@fabel Me too! I had no idea it was a Thing!


@fabel hahahaha same ! I thought I was the only crazy kid out there


I like Sammi's dress! And Michelle's hobby.


@wordnerd Sammi's dress is clearly the best. My favourite girl.


These are awesome! I'm going to take up collecting green striped things.

In sixth grade, one of my friends got in trouble for drawing pictures of all of our future lives. The weird thing is that most of the pictures depicted us not as glamorous teenagers like Jennifar Ann, but as grown women with large, happy families and fulfilling careers. The teacher confiscated my picture, which showed me as heavily pregnant and hosting a friendly Spanish exchange student with the rest of my brood, and scolded us both for having dirty minds.


THE OUTFITS. Straight out of Saved By The Bell.


I'm so glad to see other people did this as well. I would write short stories, with illustrations, about a girl named Tanya (the most beautiful name I could think of) who wore splatter-paint t-shirts and was allowed to wear the shiny black bike shorts I coveted. Her hair was also permed. Tanya liked to ride her bike and talk on her "car phone" at the same time. That's pretty much where I lost interest.


@LMac mine were always girls named aster and boys named mica. also the most beautiful name i could think of. aster looked like LiLo in the parent trap, and Mica was the guy in the video for Just One Of Those Days (Dont Take it Personal)the both had cel phones and Aster was allowed to wear a belly chain and a choker, and dark purple lipstick.


Sanrio notebook!!!


Teenage bad-girl from Louisiana, perhaps to caustic to form lasting friendships? Michelle sounds an awful lot like Christina Ricci in "The Opposite of Sex." An excellent role model, as far as I'm concerned.

title or description


Hobby: Drinking
Lives: Louisiana

Yeah that sounds about right.


A+ alt-text on the last image.

I love Sammi's dress!


@adriana Yes to Sammi's dress. And also all the shoes.


It's amazing how much more grown up and cool "older" girls were at that age. Around that age I remember being totally impressed by an ultra-cool teen girl at church who seemed soooo much older and cooler. And then when I finally got to that age (16!!), I was not so impressed. I was not allowed to drive a car! I did not have a super hunky BF! No one I knew was allowed to wander around town doing cool stuff without their parents! Real life is not like TV.

Michelle = Arlene from True Blood? y/y?

Also, this must be Mitty's binder full of women.


@brista128 Right? And because teenagers on television are all played by beautiful 20-somethings, you think you are going to look like a beautiful 20-something.

But you don't. You look awkward and if you were me you still also looked like you were 12.


@TheJacqueline Oh exactly! I feel like I never got old enough...like even now as a 20something engaged lady with her very own car and a real job and a house and a bachelors degree, I still don't feel like a grown up. Like...is this it? I figure it'll feel about the same when I have a baby, except with dirty diapers.

Andrew Rusty Alpaugh@facebook

@brista128 @brista128 Ya there is always "an ultra-cool teen girl at church" that is the talk of the town, or the town as you know it at that age at least. All the girls wanna be her and all the boys wanna be with them.....
LMAO.. "an ultra-cool teen girl at church" Where the hell did you grow up? I remember looking at the older kids at church thinking "I can not wait to be that age so I can stay at home when my parents go to church, unlike that sorry chump who most likely includes Jesus as one of their best friends"
Not to knock religion, but cool and church simply do not comfortably fit together, not even in the same sentence.


Karen Ka had to have been inspired by Clarissa Explains it All. Only explanation for that hair and outfit.

Dirty Hands

Hah, this is actually a little embarrassing to look at and read because I used to make these EXACT SAME LITTLE THINGS, with the lists of identity-defining factors and all, and it feels like you're all looking at my third grade diary!


This more or less represents my childhood perception of teenage girls. All the girls in my drawings had significant cleavage, though. For whatever reason, large breasts were a marker of the best kind of adulthood. Looking back on it, they probably also reflect how I absorbed and fetishized (maybe not the best word) the predominant feminine ideal at the time.

A+++++ for all the bright colors.


@BosomBuddy i was so scandalized when the teenagers my friends drew had boobs. then i really got in to drawing teenagers with pam anderson-esque bazoongas and my mom found them and i was grounded for a month.


@BosomBuddy Funny! I'm sorry you were grounded. I don't know if my parents ever saw my pictures, which were pretty harmless minus the boobs. If they did, thank god they never said anything.

Hot Doom

@BosomBuddy Oh man as soon as I saw the cleavage I went straight to the comments because ALL my drawings had ladies with rill cleeavage and bare midriffs and shoped at contempo casuals and express. They also wore big earrings and if they happened to be drawn in certain books, they might also have featured very arge penis representations. Just sayin.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Man, the spacing made me think Kristin was dating both Sam AND Ann, and I was like, "Get it, Kristin."


Man, I apparently did not expose my midriff enough when I was a teen.

Hot Doom

This reminds me of the recent "yearbook" I came across that I must have come by in the eighth grade but it was alllll about how I wanted to make out with my classmate Charlie, and "do it" with Dean Cain. I mean sure why not.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I really want to see what the cover of this notebook was. All I know is it's Sanrio. Is it Hello Kitty?


At first, I was really impressed that Terri had dyed her eyebrows to match her sweater. Obviously it's really her eyeshadow. Still an impressive dedication to fashion.

Nick Douglas

Oh sure, when SHE does it it's fine, but when the cops find MY book of teen girls, I've got to start knocking all the doors in my new neighborhood.

Charismatic Megafauna@facebook

It looks like Jessica's boyfriend might be Thomas, misspelled as "Tohmas."

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