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Friday, December 13, 2013

122

Friday Open Thread

We have nearly survived Bey Day; we have nearly survived 2013. (Or, we're getting there.) Before we all return to today's only true task, a quick look back at the week that was on The Hairpin:

• We finally got the yacht, the duplex, and the Cute Baseball Player Finally Fingered Me dress.

• We brainstormed other balls, looked into the future, and paid tribute to a piece of plastic.

• We pretended to laugh and called it yoga, and threw a party with a lot of horse hair.

• We served cranberry chode, circa 1951, and protected this house.

• "Remember the animal of you with its heat & hunger, pacing the stars & tearing them open."

• We talked with Jamie Shupak and Linda Holmes.

• Erica got an IV, and Jia lost her mind.

You are all the best. Tell us how you're doing, and we'll see you back here Monday.

Photo via state_library_south_australia/flickr.



122 Comments / Post A Comment

youresmalltime

You guys!

It has been forever since I've been around! Who has exciting and interesting news in the last sixish months?

planforamiracle

@youresmalltime I adopted a kittiiiieeeee! She's the greatest.

rosaline

@youresmalltime I have finished my grad school applications!! Super excited about this.

youresmalltime

@planforamiracle I WANNA SEE HER CUTESTNESS! That's adorable!

youresmalltime

@rosaline Congratulations! What are you gonna study?

rosaline

@youresmalltime Thank you! With a little bit of luck, I'll be starting a Master's degree in Geography next fall. :)

iceberg

This week with the Bergy Bits

"[Dimples], a face made out of letters is an emoticon."
"Nemoticon."
"Can you say 'emoticon'?"
"No I can't! ... I gotta go."

"Twinkle little stah
Have a what you ah
Up above so high
Like a diamond inna sky
Twinkle little stah
Have a what you ah"
-Diva

"Alouette" as sung by Dimples & Diva:
"ED-oo-wet, ED-oo-wet
Sonnez les mah-teen-uh, sonnez les mah-teen-uh
Ding dang dong, ding dang dong"

(come on, they know two French songs, that's pretty good!)

Dimples, advancing on The Clown, brandishing a large spoon: "I'm gonna CUT you!"

"[Clown], say "I'm a bossy boots!""
"I'm a bossy poop!"

OhMarie

@iceberg The cutest!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@iceberg
The Nemoticon, a book containing the most hideous, occult emoticons imaginable!

Onymous

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll
Nemoticons: Clown Fish in Disguise!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Onymous
Oooh, I like yours better!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Onymous
"Hey, hey, do you have a minute? Listen, I lost my son and I need $5 for the bus to go find him."

rosaline

@iceberg Excellent French pronunciation for triplet almost-three-year-olds, I say!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

Jia, why do you keep deleting my comments here? Is it because they aren't about Beyoncé?

j-i-a

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll whaaaat no i would never delete your comments. are your comments disappearing??? TODAY THE LORD GIVETH AND THE LORD TAKETH AWAY

iceberg

@j-i-a I've been having comment problems for a while, sometimes you just have to re-log-in and the comments appear/re-appear.

Onymous

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Comments have been randomly disappearing and reappearing for like three weeks now.

I'll click on a post that has a 14 in the comment bubble and when it loads it'll say 10.

This thread had 2 comments showing on the main page and 0 comments after click through twice already for me.

j-i-a

@Onymous urgh sorry you guys. Good to know that it's still happening--the number uneven-ness has disappeared for me for some reason. We will banish this problem soon though.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@j-i-a
Oh dear! I was just joking! I haven't had any comments disappear since I learned that the spam filter deletes comments with more than one link or picture.

Now that you mention it, sometimes comments (not just mine) appear only when I'm logged in.

But again, my original complaint WAS JUST A JOKE. Good lord my ability to relay sarcastic intent is just at an all-time low this week.

stonefruit

Oh, I'm still having these same problems listed in this thread, I just figured something was wrong on my end at this point.

Emma Carmichael

@stonefruit Yeah, we're still seeing these, too, and the Hairpin Tech Squad is ON IT but you may see similar issues for at least a few weeks.

coolallison

@Emma Carmichael Oh! Oh! I have one to contribute! I get logged out anytime I click to another page within The Hairpin... even if I'm simply refreshing the current page. (Even when selecting to remain logged in.)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Emma Carmichael Is it OK if I use this as a platform to ask for a "report" button on comments? Seeing quite a bit of spam these days, and I figure that Pinners might as well help get rid of them if we're reading the comments anyway, right?

j-i-a

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll hahahahaha no, no, no, i'd say you can chalk that one up to "jia's beyday critical abilities are at the level of a second-grade snail"

polka dots vs stripes

'Pinners I just did a combination of "How many months will it take to pay off my debt" and "Wait a minute what are the dues for my national professional organization that I should probably join since I'm on my local board, again?" ($300!!!) and I am in a sad state of money affairs.

2014 is the year of spending no money ever while I am not excited about it...it will be good for me.

adorable-eggplant

@polka dots vs stripes Have you tried a YNAB like system? I'm currently trying my damndest to budget, which was going well right until about December 1st. :/

polka dots vs stripes

@adorable-eggplant I'm about to! Although via google docs, because YNAB costs money which I am trying not to spend/don't have. I also plan on tracking my money not just like "$10 at Target" but "$4 on Hershey's kisses, $6 on what I actually needed at Target" - I got myself into this mess because I didn't hold myself as accountable for money as I should have.

2014 is probably also going to be the year of feeling bad about myself but it's necessary!

adorable-eggplant

@polka dots vs stripes I use Mint for the free-ness (set up a budget and do the slidey bars when I overspend [i.e. move stuff between categories]) so far it has been useful, but yes, not exactly pleasant. Here's to fiscal accountability! The unfrosted wheaties of ways to relate to money.

Hellcat

@adorable-eggplant I want to use this Mint but I felt… overwhelmed, I guess, just by setting up my account/profile/whatever it's called there! It just feels like something I'll do thoroughly for a short time then forget about.

adorable-eggplant

@Hellcat It's a little more self-contained after the (big pain in the butt) set up. I set mine up ages ago, and then forgot it. And then did the budgets a few months ago. It was kind of nice taking big pauses between the 'labor' intensive parts of getting started.

Hellcat

@adorable-eggplant Hmmm…Is the setup lots of numbers I have to go look up because I don't hold them in my head so well?

adorable-eggplant

@Hellcat Yup. :( [mostly routing numbers]

Hellcat

@adorable-eggplant Aww, man.

adorable-eggplant

You guys: I figured out how to do yoga at home. After about a decade of taking classes intermittently and thinking, "I should totally have a home practice. Yoga journal has told me that I should. Let's make this happen." (and it never happens)

But! I realized that I hate thinking about sequences, videos make me grumpy and whatnot. But! If I only do three poses (my three favorites) and pick a song for each one, it's a) super simple b) at most like a 12 minute commitment.

So, that's my thought for the day. Also, if I declare it semi-publicly, maybe I will stay on the stupid wagon this time.

OhMarie

@adorable-eggplant Tell me more! I would also love to do something like this. So you're doing each pose for a full song?

meetapossum

@adorable-eggplant My friend gave me a 70s yoga book that sounds very similar to your plan. Not too many moves, very relaxed. It's great for before bed.

adorable-eggplant

@OhMarie Yes! They're all restorative poses (one of them is child's pose) so it's not much of an endurance thing, except I do include Downward Dog, but I always pick a pretty short song for that one. Plus the time on each end of the song to get into/out of the pose, which means I'm not really holding them for that long.

The most fun part is doing up a three song playlist. I did one with Nina Simone's "Ain't Got No/I Got Life" for the Downward Dog bit, and that was a particularly good fit. Also, Peter Tosh's "I am that I am" (album version) is great. It's nice to get to listen to music I really like, instead of whatever is on at the studio/gym.

adorable-eggplant

@meetapossum Yeah, I dig it for the coming home from work transition. If I do yoga right before bed, I usually end up more jazzed than sleepy.

planforamiracle

@adorable-eggplant I really like podcasts for home yoga (and meditation too, for that matter.) Congrats on your public declaration! I have a hard time sticking with it.

MrsTeacherFace

Chiropractor Question

I fell and busted my sacrum, which sucks because I already have tailbone issues. I've been in a lot of pain, so my OB recommended a chiropractor who works with a lot of her pregnant patients (like me). I've seen a physical therapist about back issues in the past, but she's no longer available, so I went to the chiropractor.

He wants me to come in 3 days a week for the next 8 weeks, which will cost me about $800 out of pocket (insurance covers half). That seems terrible and ridiculous to me. Like, I want to not be in pain, but that is 1) a lot of money, and 2) a big time commitment (especially when his office is a 40 minute drive from my workplace). Is that normal? Am I being ripped off/scammed?

MrsTeacherFace

@MrsTeacherFace I should mention that everyone in my family thinks that chiropractors are charletons and quacks, and while I have no reason to believe that, surely that comes from somewhere? I have no idea and no experience with them.

stonefruit

@MrsTeacherFace My parents were the same way until my chiropractor, who as far as I can tell is a magician, made my back pain go nearly all the way away. There are definitely charlatan chiropractors out there who give magician chiropractors a bad name, though.

What's the going rate in your area? Is there another PT nearby that you could go see?

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@MrsTeacherFace

The fact that chiropracy doesn't use devices or medicines allows for easy up-coding fraud (which is billing the insurer for an expensive treatment when the doctor only performed a cheap one), so I suppose that's part of the reputation.

Onymous

@MrsTeacherFace Re: reputation for quackery https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiropractic#Controversy_and_criticism

In general the history and a large chunk of the existing chiropractic community *are* quacks and charlatans claiming its a cure all.

MarianTheLibrarian

@MrsTeacherFace I can't say for sure if you're getting ripped off or not. I've been going to a chiropractor about 1 1/2 years for TMJ issues. The first 2 weeks I think I went twice a week, then once a week, etc etc. Now I go every 3 weeks, which still means I have to pay out of pocket as the year winds down because I only get 12 visits a year through my insurance company.
I've only gone to this one guy, so I don't know if what he does is better/different/worse/the same as every other chiropractor under the sun, but he does Sacro Occipital Technique and it's really been amazing for me.

lemonadefish

@MrsTeacherFace You can always tell him you can only afford the time and money to come once a week, or whatever you figure. It's not like he'll refuse to treat you if you don't come as often, but with a serious issue like that, you might really be happier with pretty frequent treatments in the beginning.

I've been to several chiropractors over the years. They are generally great at moving your bones into the right spot. You have to then strengthen yourself to help keep things aligned (walking, etc.) so it's not like a forever cure, but it sure does help! Some of them will tell you that spinal manipulation will also cure your gallbladder or memory or whoknowswhat, and I think this is a lot of where accusations of quackery come in...

lasso tabasco

Soooo I got a tinder and was matched with a few guys, but now I don't know what to do and I am scared. Unlike with OKC, we have ZERO background information about each other, so every conversation just starts out with "hey, what's up?" and I just CANNOT with that type of conversation. What to do?

Onymous

@lasso tabasco I have no idea what a tinder is but my usual approach to being forced into conversation with some one I don't know is to just launch into whatever I'm thinking about at the time. And I do mean just launch in, don't qualify or hedge or test the waters first. No "do you follow baseball?..." or "Have you read..." just open with "That was a hell of a lot of money for Cano..." or "Seriously, fuck Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell..." whatever opinion you wanted to voice. They'll be forced to engage in some manner.

lasso tabasco

@lasso tabasco This sounds like a really good strategy. I'll test this out but starting a conversation with "BEYONCE!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh!"

Tammy Pajamas

@lasso tabasco My online dating pet peeve is when a guy messages me, but doesn't ask me any questions (so hard to respond to those!), so I always ask a question or two. Tinder' shard bc you generally have zero background info. "How's your weekend going?" or whatever is kind of boring, but does the trick.

Nakia Lopez@facebook

my friend's half-sister makes $69/hour on the laptop. She has been without a job for eight months but last month her payment was $16582 just working on the laptop for a few hours. published here,,,,,, WWW.FB49.COM

rosaline

@Nakia Lopez@facebook Spam spam spam. Spammy spammy spammy.

stonefruit

Today's First World Problems:

- my at-work charger is no longer charging my phone, WOE.
- my coworker is heating something fishy or fish-sauce-y in the communal microwave, WOE.

meetapossum

@stonefruit BLERGH. Someone at my work microwaved something with shrimp in it earlier this week. Seafood at work should be BANNED.

Hellcat

@meetapossum Someone at my work has seriously been coughing nonstop since… Tuesday, I think. And in our setup, it rings out and echoes through the building. It's driving me bats, and I know I am mean and awful but I just want to tell her to either shut the hell up or take her ass to the CVS that is within walking distance from here and take care of her noisy business.

stonefruit

@Hellcat Ugh, I have one of those too, but it's year-round and she's only here a few hours twice a week so I really shouldn't complain, but MY GOOD LORD it sounds like she should be hospitalized or on oxygen, what is she doing at work?

katiemcgillicuddy

SPORTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

(Man...the lack of comments these days is upsetting, I don't want to make a big thing about it because...depressing...but, it would be great if you lovelies hung out with me on this weeks SPORTZZZ thread, and sorry it's been so long since we had a communal sports bitch sesh...)

HAHAHA THE REDSKINS, JUST, BEAT THAT WITH A STICK, MOTHERFUCKERS! WE ARE THE WORST! WE ARE THE WORST!

Rex Grossman on what he'll do if he is put in on Sunday:

"I would definitely sling it around."

please put in Sexy Rexy, please put in Sexy Rexy

The only way to salvage the season is to see the Sex Cannon sling some hot passes. (If you don't get the reference, check out the link below because it is beautiful)

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2006/11/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield.html

Guys, hows yer teams?

Onymous

@katiemcgillicuddy Can I just say how much I love the "we want to save him for the offseason" line I understand that they don't want a repeat of last spring, but I just can't shake the idea that they really think there's a bunch of important games in like March that they want him fresh for.

Also Mariners! Cano! shit that's a lot of money and a long ass contract. I've been told he's still like top 2 or 3 in the game but damn it Seattle would you pay money for somebody before they've peaked. for once (I love you Tina Thompson but yeah, and Clint Dempsey: you're on notice).

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@katiemcgillicuddy my team was so good and now it is so bad
ugh

katiemcgillicuddy

@Onymous Yeah, I mean, we'll see how Cano works out, every payer is being overpaid these days, tis how the market works. If it makes you feel any better, we overpaid for Jayson Werth a couple years ago, his first season with us was TERRIBLE and then last year he was a MONSTER, a goddamn MVP candidate. Yeah, man, I know the RGIII drama is national news, but oh god, you have no idea how crazy it is actually being here. It is straight up daytime television at it's finest.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@katiemcgillicuddy
Also have we talked about Derrick Rose yet, or should we do it now before he comes back again and gets a serious injury again?

OhMarie

@katiemcgillicuddy

UGH REDSKINS BARF (that is all I have to say about them)

I enjoyed the snowy football this week but all of my teams are bad so I don't know what else to pay attention to. :/

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@OhMarie oh I almost forgot about the snowy football! That was so cool (because I wasn't actually there.)

katiemcgillicuddy

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) The Derrick Rose injury is too depressing for words.

katiemcgillicuddy

@OhMarie "UGH REDSKINS BARF"

Truer words have never been spoken.

planforamiracle

guys.. this week I was hit right in the feels with a weird, unexpected case of "boo hop, woe is me, I'm ~*alone*~ for Christmas" (meaning single).
I didn't think I cared about this, please help me not care! I've been single since June and other than breakup-hurts, I feel OK about singledom. And I have holiday plans that I'm excited about (all family time and travels) so why do I care about kissing somebody under the mistletoe or skating hand in hand or whatever????

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@planforamiracle Because it's the holidays, and everyone gets overwhelmed with feels over the holidays. Were you with your ex during the holidays last year? Maybe that's contributing to it.

In any case, you have tons of fun stuff planned for the holidays, so that's cool! And you'll be spending them with (I assume) people who mean a lot to you, and maybe that matters more than skating hand in hand or dragging your drunk SO out of a holiday party before they pull any more ornaments off the tree.

adorable-eggplant

@planforamiracle Holidays are tough! Make some good playlists, do some extra baking. Treat yo' self.

Jinxie

@planforamiracle @planforamiracle I think, no matter how secure you (the general "you") are ok with singledom there's so much of that couples/love/togetherness stuff in the air this time of year it can seep into your brain. I'm pretty contentedly single at the moment, but stuff like...having coworkers ask me if I'm bringing a date to the office holiday party, and having to answer, "No." bummed me out a little for a number of reasons (most, silly). Anyway, I've just been trying to be nice to myself when I fall into those traps, like, remind myself that I can't control how I feel and it's ok that these thoughts pop up and don't take it personally.
And if nothing else, just remind yourself that now you have one less person to buy gifts for!

planforamiracle

@all thanks guys. Yeah, I was still with my ex this time last year and I think of it fondly as the last nice time we had together before our relationship got mega-unhealthy and needed to end (which still somehow took 6 months..) SOOOooooo that's definitely making it worse. reading my comment above, it's like another person wrote it. Denial, so much fun... I guess I'm not really that OK with being single, and I feel like a needy jerk/bad feminist because of it. So all your advice about being nice to myself.. it gon be hard. But here goes.

Hellcat

@planforamiracle No, let that make it feel better, not worse; now you will not have to talk yourself down from some imagined sense of dread or residual Bad Feelings that cloud this Christmas! And think of the dough you'll save not buying The Perfect S.O. Gift! In fact, that dough is now yours all yours for the Be Nice to Yourself Fund.

Madeline Shoes

Exciting thing: I worked up the nerve to take some more initiative at work and asked my boss if I could take the lead on research for a new program that I feel passionately about (something she mentioned in passing a few months ago and I hadn't heard any more about since) and SHE SAID YES! And passed over her whole file to me and now I'm in the extreme extreme early stages of research to start an outreach program for art/music therapy at my organization. I'd been looking for a new job but now the prospect of starting a WHOLE NEW PROGRAM is making me rethink that.

planforamiracle

@Madeline Shoes Holy moly, YOU ROCK! I am always so impressed when people take initiative to do good stuff instead of phoning it in. Way to go.

Madeline Shoes

@planforamiracle Thank you!!!! I was so nervous, I almost puked and was bright red the whole time. I also may have rehearsed with a coworker right before I went into my boss' office. I couldn't believe it worked!!

coolallison

Has anyone ever quit a job in an epic way? Mine has reached such a level of unbearable that I either find myself wishing for a car accident so I can take some time off work without my PTO request getting denied... or daydreaming of just exactly how I'm going to storm out of here. I'm sure when it comes down to it, I'll wuss out and just give a 2 week notice... but maybe if someone has actually followed through, it will give me strength to stand up to my bully of a boss.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@coolallison A girl who used to work with me gave the most epic exit interview with HR. "The company is bleeding us dry" was only the first half of a sentence. She just let it all out.

planforamiracle

@coolallison hmm, I do know someone who accused their employer of constructive dismissal, which I did not know was a thing, but they succeeded and were given a pretty great severance package.

Hellcat

@coolallison I daydream of an epic storm-out/exit interview every single day of my life.

be-bop-a-lu-la

@coolallison T__T my epic comment got deleted.. so here goes again!

I totally slammed my fist on the table in the midst of a meeting with my CEO, no less, yelling that since the work I was doing no longer matched my job description but that of my moronic superior, which evidently nobody was going to recognize after almost two years, no, I wasn't gonna downsize on the very project I had been hired to run, just so I could become more of a secretary to said superior.

/totally snapped, was almost crying by the end and completely elated. long story, but I gave a 2 months' notice like that, and those were the literal best moths of my worklife: I'd be all happy-camper coming into work, really relaxed, was able to see through another really shitty project the company was struggling with to the end, closed everything up and took along some of my research. oh, and afterwards they still had to send work my way which I did as a freelance consultant for almost double the pay. *demonic grin*

crane your neck

@coolallison Rewatch Marina Shifrin's video for inspiration? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew_tdY0V4Zo

Hellcat

@be-bop-a-lu-la I hope you added a haughty "I said good day!" as you left for the last time.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Okay so almost no one has shown any interest in me for a long time now, and then last week at a party, I talked to a friend of a friend (not about that) and it turns out that now he likes me? He told our mutual friend, who was hosting the party, who obviously told me. (And then, because I'm me, obviously, I was all "Wait what? Me? Oh god, this is embarrassing." Partly because she told me in front of everyone and partly because like why me? I'm not cool at all. Okay maybe I engaged him in conversation and made a Simpsons reference, but like, me? I'm not cool at all!)
Anyway, he told my friend that he'd ask me for my number, and he still hasn't. So, now I'm just confused.

bureaucrab

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Since you sound like you could be me, I say this with great empathy: don't worry about what the guy does or does not do. Figure out only whether you have any interest in him. If you would be willing to give him your number if he asked, but don't have any strong interest yourself, think no more of it. If you find you're interested enough to want to be more proactive, ask for HIS number. But absolutely do not sit around and think yourself into confusion over someone who couldn't even come out and ask for your number when he first decided he might want to!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@bureaucrab I like him in a platonic way? He was fun to talk to, and I haven't had much friend time lately, so I definitely liked having someone to talk to. As for Feelings, I wasn't really thinking of that at all. (Am I a terrible person for thinking that if he asked me out, I'd go because it would be nice for someone to take me out to dinner or whatever? Because I also feel bad that maybe I didn't go with the intention of it leading to a relationship.)
We were already following each other on Twitter, so I've written to him a couple times thinking maybe that'll somehow have an effect on things, but all I got was "I enjoyed talking to you at that party" and oh shit I am overthinking this again wtf

Blue skies

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) I feel this way too - a friend I know through a guy friend apparently thinks I'm cute (according to guy friend) so we hung and danced and traded numbers on his birthday. I haven't heard from him since, and I don't know him enough to like him - I don't get excited about it - but it would have been nice had he followed up!

I also haven't met anyone who really makes me sit up and take notice and I think it is bumming me out a bit.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Blue skies I'm so relieved that someone else is going through this sort of thing!
I haven't met anyone that I immediately reacted to lately either. I also don't do online dating but apparently I should start. So I don't know, maybe that'll help, if I decide to actually start.

bureaucrab

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Interest can mean platonically too! If you think it would be fun to hang out again, then no harm in saying, for instance, "it would be fun to hang out again!" :) Whether or not anything else develops is neither here nor there, honestly, and it's no big deal if you don't think you want more. And it's fully OK to have utterly mild intentions. How do we know we really enjoy anyone's company until we spend a fair amount of time in it?

He may be sitting back for any number of reasons. I tend to ascribe the "reasonable person" standard to most situations. He may be looking for a signal of mutual interest, or might be working up his nerve, or like you he may have enjoyed himself but doesn't really have a strong intention. Or he could be extra busy and not able to take on anything else even if he wants to. Or something else. Regardless, I wouldn't fret about what he's thinking. If he seems cool, just tell him so. I bet he'd be just as surprised and flustered and flattered as you felt, cause that's exactly how most of us react when we find out people think nice things about us!

FWIW, I'm putting my mouth where my money is with this advice. I've had a couple of similar sorta-friends interactions this year and have taken advantage of expanding my social circle in an open-minded, noncommittal way. (And that is good for my potential-dating future even if it's not with the specific men in question.)

But if he does like you a lot, unless you are fundamentally sooooo not attracted, give him a chance to grow on you. Instant Feels are not all they're cracked up to be.

Hellcat

We are getting new carpet at my condo--the condo that I have lived in for over a year so all the furniture is where it is and the closets are full and where in the hell do people put all the stuff while it is going on?! Especially people like me who become tense at the thought of chaos and disorder? And we have kittens who will have to be stuck in the bathroom all the livelong day! And why, why, why did I not do this last year before moving in? (Answer: because I kinda ran out of money a little bit because I just bought a condo! Does the "I have a mortgage now and that scares me to death" feeling ever go away?)

And will this stupid coworker ever stop coughing?!

celeec4@twitter

@Hellcat Yay, new carpet?

And uh, no, sorry, I wish I could stop coughing too. @__@ 'Tis the season to be ill, or something like that. Ahaha, and now I'm paranoid I'm annoying my coworkers with this cough of mine.

Hellcat

@celeec4@twitter Oh, I'm sorry. But I should have mentioned that she--and all of us--are in an open layout (with a fairly loud ventilating system) and she's making no moves to cover her mouth. I hope you feel better though, and don't feel paranoid--all coworkers are not as intolerant as I am. (I have had very good luck with, believe it or not, the generic version of some kind of Mucinex cough medicine. Worked fast and I didn't feel loopy or have belly issues!)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Hellcat okay no ew that is disgusting. You should say something. Who the hell doesn't cover their mouth?

Hellcat

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) I almost yelled! I did actually yell at someone (a different coworker) who was cracking her gum recently. It was so loud that, at first, I thought someone was repeatedly snapping pencils in half.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Hellcat Smoker's Cough is also somewhat of a loud eater (only of crunchy things, at least.) Hearing her eat chips is like a cartoon sound effect reel. The people who make chip commercials WISH they could get such loud crunching noises on record.
The first time I told her it was loud, she thought I was exaggerating. (You know, because "I'm really sorry and I know this sounds ridiculous but you're crunching your chips kind of loudly and I can't hear this audio I'm working on" is a total bitch move, right?) so I brought it up more than once and now she warns me she's eating chips, but also makes fun of me because I think she eats too loud.

Sometimes you just have to say something, though.

celeec4@twitter

@Hellcat Yeah, unfortunately, I don't feel poorly enough to justify staying home? And I'm so behind on my labwork anyways. So, am at work.

Really wish most cough supressants/cold medicines didn't make me super drowsy. Just eating cough drops like crazy.

Hellcat

@celeec4@twitter Well, you are at least trying, unlike some people! But now that I am home--with nothing but the sounds of the washing machine (which, as someone who is in her early 40s and hasn't had one of her own for 20 years, I will never tire of hearing) and two kittens running around like wild buffalos--it's only fair to admit that I am one of those people who is extremely intolerant of snoring, coughing, wet chewing, etc., to a ridiculous degree (we've actually talked about it here before when I made a similar rant about an open-mouth-chewing coworker). So it is, in part, my own fault! And I'm sorry if I made you feel self-conscious.

Blue skies

@Hellcat This little thread was exactly what I needed - I can currently hear my roommate's boyfriend, who's a bad houseguest anyway - hacking away as usual. Late into the night... I can hear him coughing. I don't know how on earth my roommate sleeps through that racket.

Hellcat

@Blue skies My BF is really awesome and adorable and everything, but he sleeps like an asshole! I mean, everything--he kicks, he does this weird poofy "blowing" noise out of his lips, he abruptly sits up, he talks (which is at least kind of funny; sadly that one doesn't happen too often), he snores. I've always been a light sleeper and on top of that, I am impatient with this type of sounds and stuff. And we are four-plus years in, so it's just not "Aww, my new BF is so weird!" It's "I really am stifling the urge to pinch you so hard as you sleep!"

megeliza

hi guys. need some advice. my 19yr old cousin is pregnant. shes known the guy less than 10 weeks. (i know i know it COULD work out) but with the information i know its not likely. in addition she thinks they will live happily ever after (they won't). abortion is not an option (for her. not me) and i'm meeting with her on saturday to try and explain the reality of this situation etc. any advice? i know i'm being vague but i'm struggling on how to approach the "talk". any thoughts?

up cubed

@megeliza- This sounds really hard! I think I've seen this come up in some advice columns, so there might be better suggestions out there. Let her know that you love and support her whatever she wants to do, and reassure her that she can come to you for help. Maybe identify some websites that provide unbiased information and decision-making aids.

angelinha

@megeliza I don't think you can, or should, explain anything to her. She already knows the reality of the situation because she is living it. I think you can ask open questions to help her reflect on what she thinks/says, and maybe gently (straightforwardly, not judgmentally) point out any discrepancy between what she says and how she actually behaves. And then you just let it go. Which is hard, but the only thing you can do.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@megeliza I think you should just help her along, and make sure she's got all her options laid out and is making decisions she's sure of. Like if she needs help doing research on whatever, or if she wants to go to counseling to talk this stuff out with a professional and needs a ride there or some moral support, be there for her. She definitely needs to make her own decisions, especially if she's keeping the baby and will need to be very decisive about lots of things as the baby grows up - but she'll need someone to be there for her. And your concern for her is probably a really good thing, since it means she can trust you with this kind of stuff.

BosomBuddy

Declining numbers be damned, it's time to start posting on OT again, because nothing is the same.

I have a seasonal, lazy question, that I will likely be asking anyone I meet tomorrow:

What are you all buying your parents for Christmas? My folks are rather practical, and of course have everything. My mother is not a conventional feminine type, so makeup and most things of that ilk do not apply. My father also does not appreciate traditionally masculine gifts, eg. tools, razors. And why are gift guides for men so terrible? They do not all need techie stuff, new razors, bears and wallets.

BosomBuddy

@BosomBuddy This may help: my parents are approximately seventy years old. Help me, hairpin, you're my only hope!

Matilda D'Ephemera

@BosomBuddy Disclaimer: my family doesn't formally do gifts anymore, and my parents are a bit younger than yours (approximately sixty) but these are gifts that would be appreciated in my family:

Jigsaw puzzles

Wooly socks

Fancy chocolates or sweets

Nice things related to their hobbies: my mom is a gardener, so things like a new digging fork, gift certificate for seeds/bulbs/trees; my dad is a motorcyclist, so maybe a good pair of insulated gloves, or a detailed map. Would your parents like a bird identification book? Maybe a really good pair of fabric scissors, or a years' subscription to National Geographic?

Maybe something experiential, especially for older folks who may have all the "stuff" they need and don't want to clutter their house any more: tickets to a play or concert, gift certificate for a massage, season passes to a local sports event.

I hope this helps!

BosomBuddy

@Matilda D'Ephemera These are great suggestions, thanks. My mother enjoys gardening so the seeds or tools are very good ideas. They just moved into a new house and so I'm thinking of things they might need.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@BosomBuddy House things and experiences are definitely a good way to go! If they're starting to worry that any aspect of house maintenance (painting, shoveling, landscaping) is too much work for them, you could pay for one of those services.

My siblings and I got my mom tickets to Elton John, which I think is a pretty good gift. No idea what we're doing for dad, if he'll just get the other ticket, or if we're going to buy him a new sweater or something so he finally stops wearing his old sweaters that don't fit anymore.

victorian rose

@BosomBuddy perhaps a new set of bar/glassware for the new house? a gift certificate to a handy man to fix things that might need fixing? restaurant gift certificate?

kateek

@BosomBuddy Painting or DIY stuff for a new home is always a good idea. I bought my dad the new Barbara Stanwyck biography, and I got my mom some travel supplies - a kit that has a blanket, earplugs, and facemask and attaches easily to your luggage.

OhMarie

@BosomBuddy I got my parents an experience one year and it worked so well I've been doing it every year since. I usually get a voucher on Groupon or LivingSocial but haven't found a good one yet this year.

Past events have been a walking chocolate tour of Washington DC and a combo historic ships and art museum trip in Baltimore. This year I'm thinking of concert tickets or maybe one of those paint your own pottery things?

The key is that they just want to hang out with us so I buy 3-6 tickets depending on the expense so that I can go and so can my husband, my sister and her SO, and maybe one of my aunts or uncles.

isabelle bleu

@BosomBuddy Magazine subcriptions! The gift for someone who has everything except the latest issue of _____, and that keeps coming all year long! Last year I got mym mom NatGeo and Audobon, not sure what it'll be this year. :)

BosomBuddy

@isabelle bleu Thanks so much everyone - I never even thought about an experience gift or house maintenance.

flashcrash

I finished my first semester of grad schooL!
Now I just need to figure out what to get my boyf for x-mas/his birthday, which happen days apart from each other. Right now the only thing I can think of is a new wallet (LAME) and a really nice down pillow (his pillow is awful). I usually get him a cool graphic t-shirt but that's getting a little old and boring and I want to think of something exciting. He's really into synths and music and star wars and cool comics and cooking any ideas ya'll?

OhMarie

@flashcrash I got my husband a bunch of smaller things this year. He is really into Star Trek and I found some cool shit at Thinkgeek. They will have cool stuff for Star Wars and comics too.

I don't know anything about synths but that sounds like a fun thing to be into!

flashcrash

@OhMarie awesome, thanks! I will check them out. Yeah, I don't know anything about synths either hah!

flashcrash

also, does anyone have any recommendations for 2 player board games? Has anyone heard of/played Twilight Struggle?

adorable-eggplant

@flashcrash Yes! I have Twighlight Struggle, but never play it because of a million pieces. But two player board games that do rock: Agricola, A Few Acres of Snow, and 1960: The Making of the President.

Of those, 1960 is the best. I could play it a million times. Srsly.

http://boardgamegeek.com/ has a great/extensive review community, so if you are curious about any game, I'd recommend checking up on it there. They saw A Few Acres of Snow is broken (there's potentially a dominant strategy, but it can easily be fixed by having a minimum deck size, i.e. not letting people discard too often).

flashcrash

@adorable-eggplant oh great thank you! Yes, I was on boardgamegeek. I will check out those recommendations! I didn't know Agricola could be a 2 player game.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@flashcrash Star Wars cookbook! Or any food-related Star Wars item. I once lucked out and found original Empire Strikes Back drinking glasses and they were the best gift I have ever given my friend.

Very Quiet Cricket

My boyfriend and I signed a new lease! In a better neighborhood with more space for our dog and a real kitchen and a dishwasher, and we are both just over the moon about it. The best news is, our old lease isn't up till the end of January, so we'll have a nice long time to be able to move out/clean/get situated. We'll be closer to friends, and I'm really looking forward to being able to actually ENTERTAIN.

I got invited to become a company member with one of the theatre companies I worked with this past spring. That production wasn't my favorite, but the company can certainly rustle up a lot of money for its projects, and I'm a young buck actor in Chicago, so I'm jumping at every chance.

Busy making Christmas travel plans, and I'm excited because I peeked at my Amazon wish list and it seems someone has bought me Settlers of Catan this year. Ready to make some cousins cry while playing it. Gonna sip my nog and be merciless.

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