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Friday, December 6, 2013

143

Friday Open Thread

It's almost the weekend! Over the week, we:

• Talked to the Fug Girls and a Santeria priestess, and to the People, who wanted SWANTS.

• Sought advice from a Queer Chick and our friendly resident witch.

• Got edited [BY WHOM?? BE SPECIFIC] and almost had a heart attack.

• Mourned a great American Girl doll and an even better grandmother and made our peace.

• Picked some new Favorite Things and escaped from women's prison.

• Found the perfect estate jewelry to go with our new citrus fruit outfits.

I'm sailing off with one gorgeous sentence ("I was trying a new Biblical approach—Eve with earning power, Eve without shame") on repeat and planning what I want for dinner. What about you?

Photo via Mauro/flickr



143 Comments / Post A Comment

iceberg

The Diva, upon wearing a ruffled t-shirt and red plaid skirt:
[looks down at self]: "I'm a princess!"
[runs over to her brother] "Look!" [holds out skirt and dances a little bit to show it off]
[arrives at daycare, stands expectantly in front of teacher waiting for compliments]

She's going to be trouble.

We cut the feet out of the Diva's and the Clown's flannel footie PJs to make them last a bit longer, but Dimples (formerly known as the Quiet One) is having nnone of that and EVERY NIGHT as we put her footie PJs on she says "Don't cut them! Don't cut them!"

The Clown, my last holdout, has finally started potty training for real. He still has a lot of accidents if we don't remind him to go all the time, but he has volunteered "Mummy, I need to piss!" quite a few times as well, so we are making progress!

Next stop, getting rid of diapers at nap and night time.

Fuck I hate diapers.

iceberg

@iceberg also I forgot the girls have a boyfriend at school. Apparently they fight over who gets to sit next to him. They are not even 3 years old yet.

adorable-eggplant

@iceberg Maybe a fancy pair of socks? Like, "If you let us remove the footies, you can wear these faAabulous socks." It would work as a bribery tactic for nearly 30-something me.

meetapossum

@iceberg My co-worker just had a baby and after lunch yesterday she was talking about diapers, and I said out loud, "UGH, babies."

Oops?

stonefruit

@iceberg bahahaha "I need to piss" - I love the BBs and their preternaturally adult slang vocabulary!

adorable-eggplant

Hit me with your best crock pot recipes! Also, hot chocolate in a crock pot = bliss.

taco-salad dot com

@adorable-eggplant crockpot365.blogspot.com - the taco soup and black bean salsa chicken soup are awesome! The site is also nice because all of the recipes are designed to be doable gluten free if need be.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@adorable-eggplant I don't have a recipe for it per se, but my family's done pretty well with this dish adapted to slow cooker: http://www.napoliunplugged.com/cooking-with-giuseppe-paccheri-alla-genovese.html
You cook the onions and the meat in the slow cooker. Not the pasta, obviously. And I have no idea if that cut of pasta is even a thing that you can get store-bought so look for some fat rigatoni or penne candela instead. Maybe even shells?

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@adorable-eggplant
2 roughly chopped heads of cauliflower, chopped onion, a couple cloves of garlic, salt, pepper & a 28oz can of crushed tomatoes. 4~ hours on high, 6~ on low (until cauliflower is soft). Serve with salty parmesan cheese, crusty bread and dry white wine! This is what I made for dinner tonight :-)

You can also do it on the stovetop in a big pot & cook for 1~ hour. Sometimes I do 1 cauliflower & potato chunks, sometimes I add red pepper flakes or parm rinds. Its super yummy and really easy to modify...

CheddarBiscuit

@adorable-eggplant I really like French onion soup from a crockpot. Slice up about 6 onions, saute them in a stick of butter (yes, a stick) for a few minutes, then mix in a little flour to sop up the extra butter. Dump everything into the crockpot, add a few shakes of salt and about 6 cups beef broth and cook on low 8-10 hours, or 3-4 on high. When it's done, you can top individual bowls with stale/toasted bread and shredded cheese a put them under the broiler until melted. So yummy and easy, but it also feels a little fancy.

I also like doing pork chops in the crockpot...I find it keeps them very moist and tender, which can usually be a little challenging with pork. One recipe I made recently involved browning the chops first, then putting them in the crockpot with sliced sweet potato, apple, and red onion, along with a couple spoonfuls of brown sugar and a splash of apple cider vinegar. Cook on high 3-4 hours, or on low for about 8. Mmmmm...

adorable-eggplant

@all Thank you all! I was running out of non-brown rice casserole options and getting a wee bit discouraged. These are all now on my to-do list! :)

@CheddarBiscuit Sweet potato and pork and brown sugar is one of my all time favorite combos, but I'd never thought to make them a) together b) in a crock pot. Cannot wait for the results on that one.

@Madeline Shoes My favorite Julia Child episode is the one where she makes french onion soup. It's priceless.

@Rookie Those noodles do look suspiciously supple to be store bought. Maybe one day I will be inspired to make my own from scratch (early retirement and an abundance of free time?) because it looks like it would be totally worth it.

@taco salad Taco soup is my jam. I am also a fan of seven layer bean dip in the crock pot. :)

yeah-elle

This week was a mix of shitty and pretty great.

This guy I consider(ed?) a friend dumped me after a week of dating right before Thanksgiving. That part, surprisingly, didn't upset me that much, cause, ugh, whatever, it didn't work out, end of story. I am more upset that he just wanted to "try" dating me, but acted so enthusiastically, and then changed his mind so fast. I'm angry that he would take that risk so flippantly with a friend!

What, happily, is overwhelmingly positive: I actually had a really nice Thanksgiving at home, my friends are amazing, I got my first smartphone, I got another tattoo (of a Neko Case lyric on my thigh [link to a picture] that I've been wanting for ages), and Danny Castellano danced to Aaliyah on The Mindy Project, so.

adorable-eggplant

@yeah-elle Danny wut!?! Spoiler alert, but I WILL be watching. Love the tat. :)

meetapossum

@yeah-elle Boo to that crush dude.

The tattoo is sweet, though!

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@yeah-elle Great goddamn lyric choice! I want "my love, i am the speed of sound" tatted on me somewhere.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@yeah-elle That tattoo is everything.

yeah-elle

Thanks guys! I always love getting tattoos I've wanted for a while because it feels like...I've become more myself? Sounds sappy, I know, but it's always such a positive experience for me.

PS @adorable-eggplant Ahhh, sorry for the spoiler! BUT WATCH IT.

capturethecastle

@yeah-elle that tattoo is amazing! that whole song is incredible, lyrically -- "down this chain of days I wish to stay among my people, relation now means nothing, having chosen so defined" always kinda blew me away.

adorable-eggplant

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) You guuuuuys, I don't have hulu plus. :(((((((((((((((( Wait for meeee!

yeah-elle

@adorable-eggplant Oh yeah, neither do I. I just saw the video if him dancing on Tumblr and was like, OKAY THAT'S IT and I actually bought the episode on iTunes for $1.99, oops.

StandardTuber

I asked on twitter, but srsly can rage induce labor?

My MIL accosted me and said I needed to take my kid to a specialist about his eating habits. He likes carbs and milk. Like every other preschooler. I was so pissed off. This is coming at me in my third trimester.

I am over-sharing on the internet and I blame my mother in-law.

Merry Christmas.

iceberg

@StandardTuber oh my god seriously fuck that shit. he needs carbs, iron and calcium for his bones and body and fats to grow his wee brain.

StandardTuber

@StandardTuber Related, I am going to write a satirical piece on how to feed a picky eater. For example, here is some actual advice I've read about picky eaters:
1. Don't be a short-order cook who caters to their whims. BUT...
2. Always offer their preferred foods with other new foods.

Because you want them to eat the foods you want them to eat, but you're also so riddled with guilt about them not eating new foods that you will always make french toast for dinner, anyway at least until they go off to college.

StandardTuber

@iceberg Several angry words crossed my lips.

OhMarie

@StandardTuber Thumbs down. THUMBS DOWN!!!

Onymous

So I work at Target, it's a terrible job, moving on: We set Christmas decorations out October 1. They are now going on clearance Sunday. Which means Corporate considers Christmas almost over.

...

You may notice that we are not even a week into December.

adorable-eggplant

@Onymous Oh man, tempus fugit.

polka dots vs stripes

@Onymous So what you're saying is, if I'm obsessed with Mrs Meyer's Iowa Pine candle and Candy Cane Celestial Seasonings tea...I should stock up? And ideally, on Sunday?

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Onymous You get mad props for working retail during the holidays. I was never a Grinch until I worked two years' worth of holiday shopping seasons.

Onymous

@polka dots vs stripes
Well Mrs. Meyer's is 'chemicals' not 'seasonal' so it probably won't hit clearance in this batch.

Onymous

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Honestly it's not as bad as it was during the summer. For some reason the warehouse computer sent us like 60% more freight during march/april/may/june than anybody had ever seen before, while our stocking crew was coincidentally smaller than it had ever been.

And of course the backroom isn't ~80 degrees while we're unloading the truck now.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Sobriety update: No alcohol for eight months now, Hairpin. One thing I've learned is that I have a backbone ("Should I just give in and drink that frosty IPA? No. Come on. You've made it this far. Do you want to start over again?") and that has translated to joining a crazy strenuous strength program to make my outsides match my tough insides. Stay warm out there!

adorable-eggplant

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Oh man these updates make me hella happy. Crush that strength training program! Wo0t!

yeah-elle

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose GO YOU! Seriously, what a badass (and a soon-to-be mega-strong badass, too)!

iceberg

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose dude I am in awe of your willpower and intestinal fortitude (aka guts)!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose That's awesome! You have amazing willpower and things and stuff.

jazzloon

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose All the props go to you today.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@all Thanks, dudes. It's fun to have a place like this to share this information; it's not something I tell most people I interact with in meatspace.

stonefruit

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose cheering you on!

victorian rose

This week I'm coming to you live from Coffee bean because:
1. The hairpin is blocked on work computers.
2. Cellular data has mysteriously stopped working in the office. Faraday cage?
3. I was excused from jury duty because I am too smart for my own good.

Happy Friday y'alls!

Biketastrophy

@victorian rose As an RF Engineer I feel obligated to post this cause I find it so hilarious.

Gulfie

So I just finished my first semester of grad school and I think I did pretty well, and I have a solid relationship with my roommate and made a bunch of new friends and last night guy I'm seeing and I talked and he declared unambiguously that he wants to be my boyfriend and my social anxiety is mostly in check and, most miraculously, I've been using my therapy lamp and vitamin D consistently and not only is SAD in check but I've been downright HAPPY.

Of course it's not all sunshine and my mind is still 85% uncertainty about where I am in my life/the future/the void blah blah but, still.

It feels so absolutely bizarre to be, quite frankly, a very successful person right now.

adorable-eggplant

@Gulf of Finland Rock and roll! I've been biking to work and it does wonders for the getting some dang sun purposes. Solstice is just around the corner! We're almost there.

SmartCookie

@adorable-eggplant I keep counting down to solstice! So close! I don't even care that the coldest months are still to come as long as I can have sun.

victorian rose

@Gulf of Finland yay glad to hear things are looking up for you!

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Gulf of Finland Get it, Finland.

Gulfie

@Gulf of Finland Ahhh and now I just found out new boyfriend has a racial porn Tumblr. Spoke too soon.

skeedaddle

@Gulf of Finland Oh, no. I'm not sure I fully understand what "racial porn" is, or how one would have a tumblr of it (sorry, old, does tumblr allow x-rated content?), but it doesn't sound great.

zamboni

@Gulf of Finland Everything else still sounds like it's going great but WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

RNL
RNL

@Gulf of Finland So sorry about that that is terrible. Barf.

BUT

@skeedaddle MAJOR lulz at "does tumblr allow x-rate content?".

OhMyGoshYouGuys

I'm fresh-ish off a breakup, and I have no current prospects. All I want is a winter rebound. If only there was a way to convey this to strangers solely through eye contact...

adorable-eggplant

@OhMyGoshYouGuys Wasn't winter boyfriends a thing around here for awhile? Pack them up in mothballs when the summer comes.

ETA: Not sure how to acquire one, though.

Biketastrophy

@adorable-eggplant "Winter lovin, happened so fast"

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@adorable-eggplant Yes, I remember that was a thing! Maybe as I'm walking down the street and see someone suitable, I'll "accidentally" fall as they walk by. They'll have no choice but to stop and help me up. Is that the best plan?

adorable-eggplant

@OhMyGoshYouGuys Spill a hot cocoa in his lap. Meet cute! Just like, throw a hot cocoa at a passerby. Solved it.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@adorable-eggplant I like the way you think. Just mark my territory. Then I could offer to wash his cocoa-stained pants at my place.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@OhMyGoshYouGuys I'd imagine the pick-up lines for winter are the easiest. Something to do with being cold, cuddling, body heat, friction, etc... I'm a bit rusty on pick-up lines, but I bet we could figure something out.

jazzloon

@OhMyGoshYouGuys I mean, I know it can be weird, but OkCupid has provided me with plenty no-strings-attached hookups in my past.

iceberg

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose hahaha you are my kinda gal. a friend of mine was worried about crocheting in public versus being able to pick up dudes and I was like "but, think of all the double entendres about being good with your hands!"

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@iceberg Oh, my brain almost subconsciously makes double entendres of everything. If it can be make sexual, I'll usually point that out.

iceberg

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose at my publication we measure editorial content in inches, so when my boss told my other boss "[Editor-in-chief] has 1300 inches" I blurted out "That's what it says in the ladies room" without even thinking.

iceberg

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I also illustrated a sales sheet for a Summer Package with a stock photo of a dude in Speedos

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@iceberg Perfect. At my publication, my boss runs all the headlines by me to make sure we don't print something embarrassing. "Could this be sexual at all, Rose?"
Rose: *sees headline "Keeping It In the Family"* *laughs a lot*
Rose: "Yeah, that's about incest."

iceberg

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose - -White Between The Eyes, or something like that - I shit you not, an interview with Ron White

skeedaddle

@OhMyGoshYouGuys No, the best plan for flings is, as always, dive bars in college towns. Assuming you don't mind 'em young (or are young yourself).

crane your neck

Best way to decompress after a move?

SmartCookie

@crane your neck Ignore the rest of your new place in favor of getting your favorite room completely unpacked. Then do a relaxing activity of your choice in that room while continuing to ignore the rest of your new place. For example- unpack your bathroom and take a long bath, unpack your bedroom and read a good book in bed, etc

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@crane your neck You could hit on @OhMyGoshYouGuys upthread...(wink wink)

taco-salad dot com

I can't take this week any longer. I'm sick, work has been a mess, and the deal fell through on the house my boyfriend and I were super excited to buy. There were a couple safety issues uncovered during the inspection that the sellers took several days to decide they were not going to remedy, and we had already gone in higher than we wanted to because we wanted the house so much, so it just wasn't affordable anymore. The sellers have been the worst throughout the whole process so maybe it's for the best, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing. I feel like my friends don't really get it since most of them are not even remotely close to possibly becoming homeowners. Seeing that "back on the market" status feels like the sting of seeing your ex change his/her relationship status on Facebook. All I want is to curl up with a bowl of chicken soup and pretend this week never happened wahhhh :(

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@taco-salad dot com Even if your friends aren't on the housing market, they still love you and are probably upset that you're unhappy - because let's face it, being really excited about a home and having it fall through very obviously sucks.

I might be saying this because I'm not superclose to becoming a homeowner, but I understand anyway, and my friends all think that they're further ahead in life than I am, but like... I can still have tea with you and help you pick out a top to match those new work pants you bought, or whatever it is you're doing with your time. Sorry to project on you! But just remember that a house with safety issues isn't the kind of house you want to plunk all your money on anyway. I think. I'm not sure.

But anyway, it sounds like you need a good cup of tea or a bowl of soup, and a lot of blankets, and a few hours (or days!) just for you. Take them.

taco-salad dot com

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) I think I was more making excuses for some of their non-reactions when I broke the news. I mean obviously there are worse things in life and I don't expect an outpouring of sympathy as if someone died or anything. But I felt kind of brushed off by some of the ones I normally go to with the big stuff. They treated it as if I lost an ebay auction for a used snowblower rather than a home I've been actively envisioning a future in. I wasn't trying to suggest "oh they can't possibly understand, those apartment renters and parents' basement dwellers!"

I had thought the same thing about not wanting a house with issues, but they were things we were planning on upgrading anyway. ie the oil tank was leaking and the boiler was smoking (yeahhh), but we wanted to convert to gas eventually. so if the sellers did the right thing and agreed to cover it, we would've just taken that money and put it into a new gas heater, eliminating the issue altogether. If it was radon or termites, it might feel more like we dodged a bullet.

Soup and warm beverages and pj time are definitely in order! Thanks for the sympathy :)

frenz.lo

@taco-salad dot com Uggghhhh. House buying is so stressful. When my husband and I were looking, we found this place we were in love with, and the neighborhood was really cool, and we were going to perch in this beautiful stone house on a hill in this lush and foresty neighborhood just a few minutes outside the city and raise a family there. Then the home inspectors showed up and were like, "You are the stupidest assholes I have ever seen. Do not buy this house." They were right. It was really not in good shape, and even if we had an unlimited budget, it was too much house for us. The cute and non-cursed house we ended up getting instead still feels like too much house sometimes.
Also, if the sellers were shady at this stage, imagine what a wilderness of secret problems that place really probably is.

Onymous

I don't know what language this is but I've fallen down a youtube hole of foreign phineas and ferb songs

be-bop-a-lu-la

@Onymous almost sure it's Turkish!

zeytin

@Onymous Yep, that's Turkish.

BattyRabbit

I'm not going to my graduate program's holiday party tonight because fuck 'em, and that's okay! THAT'S OKAY. What are *you* all not doing because fuck 'em? Also, congratulations, that's okay.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@BattyRabbit I skipped my office party for that reason! And I am actually attending my friend's party tonight for that reason.

SmartCookie

@BattyRabbit I'm not going to my office party either. And I'm on the party planning committee... Yay!

BattyRabbit

@SmartCookie That's some next level fuck 'em, good work!

SmartCookie

So I went to my GP this week and she told me to get myself to a dermatologist to get a mole removed asap. I'm keeping myself surprisingly calm by ignoring Dr. Google but I have no idea what to expect at this appointment. Has anyone done this before?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@SmartCookie Yeah! It's super easy. They'll numb you, slice off the mole, put a bandage on you and then send you off with wound-cleaning instructions. Then they'll test the mole, and get back to you with results. As far as these things go, this is cake.

ETA: Sometimes, depending on the size of the mole, they'll stitch you up. Either way, you end up with a rad scar, and can tell lies about it all the time ("Oh that? Yeah, I got into a knife fight in Caracas").

Pocket Witch

@SmartCookie I have. It wasn't bad at all, and I am a giant weenie. The following is an absolutely true story from the middle of my college years.

My dad is a doctor, a general practitioner with a side of basic dermatology. Treating acne, removing moles, that sort of thing. He noticed that I had an irregularly shaped mole on my temple, so he brought home a cobbled-together surgical kit (did you know that sterile packs of fairly inert things like needles have expiration dates?), and I lay down on the kitchen table and he removed the mole.

It took less than five minutes. The only part that hurt was the lidocaine inject. That stuff stings, but it's over after a second. The stitches were removed after about a week (if I remember correctly, my mom did this with a pair of tiny sewing scissors), and today you can't even see the scar.

I'm sure your experience will be a lot more "doctor's office" and a lot less "kitchen table," but there you go.

SmartCookie

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose and @Pocket Witch
Thank you both! I thought it was a pretty easy thing but my appointment is at the hospital so I was second guessing like crazy. And exhale...

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@SmartCookie I come from a mole-y people and we have them removed all the time! It makes me feel squicky to think about but is always not at all big deal or painful.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@SmartCookie Honestly, it's probably because the lab is at the hospital, and not because you're going to be submitted to some crazy procedure.

celeec4@twitter

@Pocket Witch Can I just say that, I really, really love that story? Kitchen table surgery, literally!

Pocket Witch

@celeec4@twitter Having a doctor in the house does generate some interesting stories. I don't want to hijack the thread here, but scroll down and I'll post a favorite or two.

up cubed

@SmartCookie Ask for stitches! I just got a band-aid when I had one removed and the scar is a bit gnarly.

skeedaddle

@up cubed Yes to this. It's not a big deal, but I totally have a scar on my chest from one they took when I was 12. I'm 33.

JanieS

@SmartCookie IRoTot Rose is right - think of the lies you can tell! Involving ninja!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I feel like I want to vent and ask for advice about a billion things but instead I might not write anything useful at all.

hey did anyone watch Scandal yesterday

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Oh, actually, a joke! (That I already posted to Twitter after it did not elicit enough laughs in a packed conference room at work)
"Are we in San Francisco? Because this is a full house!"

...I'll see myself out.

jazzloon

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Planning to make that joke when I get home tonight. 10/10.

HereComesTheMetricSystem

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) yes I watched Scandal and I was quite glad I saw it after dinner (spoilers: eeessssgghuugh)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@HereComesTheMetricSystem Yeah, I was pretty uncomfortable. Though the previous episode's ick factor was just a little higher for me. Hopefully it doesn't get any grosser, but who knows?

HereComesTheMetricSystem

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Exactly - that's how I try to describe Scandal to friends: " I have no idea what is going on or where the plot is going but if you start watching it, you'll watch all of it and it is impossible to not be watching it."

jazzloon

So I hear about a fancy pasta shop. I want to eat fancy pasta. I go to fancy pasta shop, and I DO NOT BUY FANCY PASTA. Without thinking, I bought imported (so, arguably, still a little fancy) bagged pasta from Italy and totally missed all the people working with dough in a back room. Totally miffed.

In more news, my boyfriend has been unemployed for almost three weeks (which, in the scheme of things, is not long) and I think I am more stressed out about it than he is. I have cried three times this week about it. I have to resist looking for jobs for him. He's doing ok, setting a daily goal of jobs to apply to and talking to temp agencies, but I'm so steeped in anxiety about this entire thing. I talked about this in the NYC Hairpinners group, and everyone was so so helpful. Still trying to relax.

Miss Kitty Fantastico

GUYS MY AUCTION MADE ALMOST $10,000 MORE THAN MY BOSS' GOAL!!! It made $2,000 more than my goal (my boss may or may not have NO faith in my ability to do my job). It ended up making about 30% more than they did in 2012 - I started two weeks after it ended last year, so I was especially excited since it was my first year running it!

My coworkers took me out to lunch to celebrate and people kept congratulating me all day - it was the first time in a year I really felt like a useful part of my team! My boss, however, has still not acknowledged to me that the auction happened and keeps trying to give credit to my coworker (he is very kindly and stubbornly continuing to remind her that I did all the work).

I am very proud and very frustrated and trying to focus on the proud part and forget about the frustrated part.

Writing this out is making me feel all warm and excited again!!

BattyRabbit

@Madeline Shoes Hot damn that's amazing! Congratulations!!!

OhMarie

@Madeline Shoes LIKE A BOSS

Pocket Witch

I have a question about how to be a girl who wears makeup like she knows what she’s doing.

I’m fairly pale-skinned. Not quite fluorescent-under-black-lights, but you can see little blue veins all over my skin. Can I still wear plum-colored lipstick and not look weird? I like how I look in brighter reds and pinks, and I’ve decided to embrace being that girl in the vivid lipstick, so high-contrast isn’t the problem.

This plum color is a dark reddish-purple (one of the Burt’s Bees lip shimmers in, funnily enough, “plum”), and I think it falls on the cool side of the color wheel. I feel like it makes my face look a little cold, like a supervillainness. Which is exactly what I want some days, honestly.

So am I fooling myself into thinking I look good, or do I actually look good?

celeec4@twitter

@Pocket Witch If it makes you happy, why the hell not? :) Also, that sounds like super-awesome drama. My inner baby goth is always a little sad that my skin tone is not pale enough for the super-high contrast. Roll with it, I say.

Pocket Witch

@celeec4@twitter I can absolutely roll with it! Nothing wrong with a little drama. Thanks! :D

Mariajoseh

@Pocket Witch I'm pale-skin too and I love to rock dark reddish purples, even for the office. Following non-traditional beauty blogs has given me the confidence to do what @celeec4 says: just do you, and don't worry about rules. Chances are you look great.

skeedaddle

@Mariajoseh Do you have some favorite non-traditional beauty blogs you can recommend? I'm intrigued.

zamboni

So I think I have to ask out one of my rec sports teammates next week after our last game of the season because I will probably never see him again otherwise. I haven't asked a guy out in forever (and have also been rejected every single time I've made the first move). What do I do? There are a number of logistical issues--almost definitely won't be able to get him alone, he might not even hang around after the game at all, he doesn't live in my city, etc. We have access to everyone's contact info etc through the team profile--am I best off sending him an e-mail afterwards? I'd like to make this as Not Weird for him as possible.

adorable-eggplant

@zamboni Ok, hmmm, what about a breezy email to everyone after the game: something like "Subject: Hooray victory!/Boo defeat Body: I had a great season playing with you all. Sincerely, Zamboni" And then hope he replies? Hmmmmm.

klemay

@zamboni I would be as direct as possible! @adorable-eggplant's advice is definitely the safest way to go, but I wouldn't want to bank on him magically knowing that you're hoping to glob he'll respond to the email.

Something to the effect of "I've really enjoyed playing [sport] with you this season. Would you maybe want to go on a date sometime?"

angelinha

@zamboni Ooh! I'd try to get him alone after the game (if he leaves and doesn't hang out, maybe casually walk out with him/walk him to the door?) and ask directly, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime." And if you can't get him alone, then send an e-mail to just him being equally direct. Good luck!

zamboni

@angelinha @klemay @adorable-eggplant Thanks guys! He is for sure coming out for drinks with us after next week's game so I've got some options I think. :)

celeec4@twitter

The city is covered in ice, so I decided to stay home from work. Yesterday, boss told everyone to decide on their own if they want to drive in to lab or not. I went with no. Here's hoping that everyone else did too, because I'm going to feel silly if the rest of the lab, who live further out into suburbia, managed to make it in to lab today and I didn't. Ahahaha.

All I've done today is to drink hot tea, languish in bed, and listen to sirens go by. (I live close to a hospital clinic center thingy).

What does everyone else like to do on ice days stuck at home?

adorable-eggplant

@celeec4@twitter I thought I might do yoga. Instead I had a coffee and surfed the internet. Could maybe have done better there.

celeec4@twitter

@adorable-eggplant Slept a lot, too. Haven't been feeling 100%, so I guess this ice bs makes for a good reason to now power through this at work.

Pocket Witch

As promised above, a couple of stories about my dad, the doctor.

Our golden retriever had surgery--at the vet's office--to correct entropion, which is when the eyelid curls in so the eyelashes are in constant contact with the surface of the eye. Ouch. During the recovery process, some of the stitches came out too early. So we had the dog lay down, my sister held a flashlight, and I literally spooned the dog to hold him still, while my dad injected a little local anesthetic and put in a few more stitches.

One-sided phone conversation from a weekend on call:
No, I can't tell you how to stitch yourself up over the phone. ... Yes, scalp wounds do bleed a lot.

celeec4@twitter

@Pocket Witch Your dad sounds like an interesting guy. Kitchen surgeries, ahoy!

RNL
RNL

@Pocket Witch Lol. My mom's a doc, and I grew up listening to her ask if people had pooped today during dinner.

klemay

One of the commenters on this week's Ask a Queer Chick (re: LW4 and painful intercourse) prompted me to make an appointment with my gynecologist and as it turns out I probably have an ovarian cyst! The bad news is that I have to do a bunch of tests, but the good news is that this completely random hairpin post and comment prompted me to take care of a potential medical issue before it becomes a big problem.

aardvark

Do any of you lovely people know of good athletic socks that are mostly cotton or natural fibers and don't have those stupid arch support elastic bands in them? Everything I've found lately has been a) mostly synthetic, which turn my feet into slimy icicles of awful winter grossness and b) weirdly constricting just behind the balls of the feet (which wigs me out because I have Issues).

Away Laughing

@aardvark Have you tried SmartWool? They're natural fiber, but they do have some arch-support stuff in most of their socks. :( I feel like their arch support things are less constricting that most brands, though, so it might be worth a try?

aardvark

@Away Laughing Thanks--I'll give them a try! It looks like their band is wider than the standard ones, which might help with the "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF" feeling.

Mariajoseh

so... what happens when your boyfriend/girlfriend snores? My boyfriend of 1.5 years snores and I'm a super light sleeper. It is less bad when he sleeps on his side, but then his back hurts after 1 or 2 days. Right now we only sleep together on the weekends but I want to move in together and I figure we have to solve this first.

JanieS

@Mariajoseh Has he tried those Breath-Right strips?

harebell

@Mariajoseh

he should get checked for sleep apnea. Snoring is actually quite not good, especially if he is under 40. Doctors can do various things to help.

Clara Morena

well, this is a busy week
arch boy is seeing someone. I asked him and he said "yes".I am fortunately drowning in finals so I don't have time to feel sorry for myself.
I think I pissed off my boss since I asked for Tuesday off to work on my finals. I think I'm not cut out to be a teacher( I work in a after school program ). So after finals, I am applying to jobs.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Apparently there's a boy that likes me. This is not the sort of thing that usually happens to me, so how do I handle such occurrences?

RNL
RNL

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) What's to handle! Just enjoy it. Do you like this fellow? Or would your rather keep him at arm's distance? Either is fine, but if it's the former, some action might be in order from you.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@RNL I don't think I like-like him, but I also kind of wasn't expecting this? I was at my friend's party and we talked for a bit, and he and my friend work together in local media so like I know who he is and we had stuff to talk about, and I just thought it was great that I had stuff to talk about and someone to talk to! (My social life has been less-than-exciting for a while.) And then after he left, my friend said "[Guy] totally has a crush on you." and I was shocked.

HereComesTheMetricSystem

So I know weight issues aren't really discussed a lot here on OT: I hope this isn't too out of line, but I am hoping for some help or support.

Over the past year, I've been dealing with a moderate health issues compounded with increased work stress and depression. End result is a bit of weight gain. I am very physically active and eat fairly healthy, but it's not going without a fight.

Normally I'd try to roll with it, but all of a sudden everyone and their mother has declared themselves my personal trainer and/or nutritionist (and this is just in my circle of friends, I haven't stepped into the emotional MMA octagon of family events).

Does anyone have any tips or advice on how to make it through the holidays without completely losing my mind? A mantra to say to drown out the "is that ok to eat?" comments? The perfect smile + middle distance stare to convey "I will slap you if you don't stop staring at my plate and analyzing what I am eating" ?

RNL
RNL

@HereComesTheMetricSystem Oh my god! Are people actually doing that? That is terrible.

If they're your close friends, I suggest saying something pretty bald-faced and honest. "I appreciate that you may feel like you are saying the things you are saying out of love, but they feel very hurtful to me. Please don't make comments about what I eat." or even more succinct "Please don't make comments about what I eat." If the comments/body language are more subtle, and therefore less easy to address, I might try just having a conversation about it more generally. "I have put on weight. It doesn't bother me, but people's reactions have felt hurtful. I may or may not change my diet some day, but today is not that day. I would rather focus on my mental health right now, and I hope you can support me in that goal."

Myself, I would probably take a more humourous/sarcastic route and say something like "Is this ok to eat? It doesn't seem poisoned, and man is it delicious. And, of course, I have to maintain my figure. You don't get tits like these without a lot of work!"

In terms of mantras, I find it helpful to think about the fact that, if I let that stuff get to me, I'm basically letting the patriarchy dictate how I feel about myself. That usually sorts me out right quick.

HereComesTheMetricSystem

@HereComesTheMetricSystem Thanks for the response, and good advice RNL. I've been thinking the direct response 'please don't comment on my food' would be best, and I usually don't let these kinds of comments get to me. However because the weight gain has been so sudden, it seems like the comments have also come on suddenly and caught me off-guard. Perhaps I am being a bit too harsh, maybe it is all well-intentioned (goodness knows I have wedged my foot in my mouth many times.... I mean, jammed it in there Good).

And this past year, despite all its challenges has had some of my biggest physical achievements, too. I try to hold onto those feelings of 'wow, I did that!' but it is hard when I know I don't have the expected physique of someone who does a lot of athletic activity.

Mostly, I'm just venting and trying to ready myself for family. It feels like in p.e. class when you get hit in the face by a ball and time just slows down and all you see is that ball coming right for your face. All I can see right now is this soccer ball of judgement coming right for me in slo-mo.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@HereComesTheMetricSystem That is awful. How about you tell people something like you don't want to limit yourself too much at holiday parties, because look at all this delicious food that someone spent a lot of time/money on? Or that you're watching what you eat outside of these events to be able to "afford" to eat this, you know, all that crap?

adorable-eggplant

@HereComesTheMetricSystem Argh, I am so sorry that people are conditioned to have such an unhealthy interest in what other people are eating. I agree with RNL that alternating between the constructively honest with friends and the humorous/snarky approach with others can certainly be the way to go.

Hugs for dealing with it and not letting anyone break your stride. Congrats on the achievements! Maybe have an achievement journal or like a goal/journey inspiration board (I am a dorky motherfucker, but these things help me, so I thought I'd mention).

HereComesTheMetricSystem

@HereComesTheMetricSystem thanks for all the kind responses, I hope I can use some of the suggestions and get positive results!

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