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Friday, December 13, 2013

14

December 13th Now and Forever to Be Known as Beyday, a Celebration of Excellence, Surprises and Grown-Ass Women

Perhaps you have already been up all night listening to BEYONCÉ, the surprise album that our Queen Mother dropped around midnight. Zero PR build-up, zero stunting, just this immensely commanding, soulful, glossy and witty, coherent but variegated, legitimately hip album to bring Christmas early and erase Megyn Kelly from the face of this earth. She's brought in features by Drake (the rat-a-tat on this one!), Frank Ocean (the doo-wop ghosts on that one!), BLUE IVY and Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (who delivers a rousing speech on feminism halfway through "***Flawless," a rework of the syrupy Houston jam "Bow Down"). There's a surprising and wonderful amount of grit, trap and club bounce in the production as well as the usual quotient of Beyoncé's rainbow-like vocal soar, and thematically the songs on BEYONCÉ (each accompanied by masterworks of videos! Thank Beysus we can finally free the hundred production assistants who've spent the last month locked up in a room of leftover Destiny's Child merchandise to prevent anything from leaking) create a picture of postfeminist "womanhood" (in quotes because I'm already afraid of the think pieces) that is unapologetic, self-aware, pragmatic, empowered and fu-cking hot as shit.

I'll calm down now. Just kidding, I'm never going to calm down. Beyoncé figured out a way to make people purchase music on iTunes in 2013. Beyoncé orchestrated a massive drop without a trace of media exhaustion. Beyoncé made 17 music videos and we're going to watch all of them without having to excuse their aesthetic theory or tsk at their pandering. Beyoncé just sonned literally everyone, and there's nothing I like more in this world than a woman outshining her partner in a field that he partway built.

14 Comments / Post A Comment

anachronistique

THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR GOING TO BED EARLY

ARGH

twirl2

Is it streaming anywhere? (am i asking too much?)

lookuplookup

@twirl2 You can stream it here (for now - idk how long this will last?): http://www.heavy.com/entertainment/2013/12/beyonce-visual-album-stream-mp3-listen-tracks/

lookuplookup

A Beyonce x Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie is all I wanted out of 2013. Live your best live & read Americanah & listen to Beyonce.

Maria Laverghetta@facebook

Perfectly said. Perfectly written. You're a bad ass, Jia.

hallelujah

Fuck a Yeezus, Beysus has arrived. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

Also, using "son" as a verb, forever and ever amen.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

I'd been calling it Beyoncémas but I can switch over if needed.

lovemycar

Time to make Bey Day a reality.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-release-date-beyonc%C3%A9-albums-national-holiday/2GP9xCWr

MMTortuga

@lovemycar I am the #8 signature, woo! :)

champignondeluxe

Beyonce, bringer of light on Saint Lucia's Day. Coincidence? I think not.

PomoFrannyGlass

Bey does not need my props (obviously), but I offer to them to Jia for this post. I wish my fangirling was as articulate as this.

idrathernot

"there's nothing I like more in this world than a woman outshining her partner in a field that he partway built." yes yes yes yes!!!

enic

crying over flawless right now.

beetnemesis

Hm. And all this time, I figured that everyone just kind of liked Beyonce ironically. OK, well, enjoy.

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