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Thursday, December 5, 2013

15

A Few of Their Favorite Things

Tonight, NBC will air The Sound of Music Live!, a three-hour rendition starring Carrie Underwood as Maria. In preparation, some favorite things.

LORDE
Teenage abandon and bobbing on TV,
Snapchats from girlfriends and outselling Britney,
Trying my best not to see diamond rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

JEFF BEZOS
Buying newspapers and squeezing my dollars,
Next-day delivery, efficiency scholars,
Not drones at all are you fucking kidding,
These are a few of my favorite things.

KRIS JENNER
When you take photos or look my direction,
Gossip and rumors and general attention,
Unhappy daughters and press that they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things. 

TOM DALEY
Diving and diving and diving and diving,
Diving and diving and diving and diving,
Dustin Lance Black and then oh yeah diving,
These are a few of my favorite things.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
Time with my brothers and touring the nation,
Acting and laughing and self deprecation,
Nothing compares to the pleasure farts bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

BEYONCE
Unreleased albums and big tours that follow,
Insider glimpses that remain quite hollow,
Surrogate moms and fake bellies that cling,
These are a few of my favorite things.

KANYE WEST
CAPS LOCK AND DONDA AND GUESTING ON ELLEN,
SHAKESPEARE AND WARHOL AND HONESTLY ANCHORMAN 2,
I DON’T HAVE TO RHYME AS YOU UNDERSTAND RHYMING
THIS IS A NEW KIND OF VERSE,
IN TIME YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THIS SCHEME,
THIS PATTERN
OF WORDS
BUT RIGHT NOW IT JUST SEEMS LIKE NONSENSE
NON.
SENSE!!!!!
YOU WILL DISCOVER THE TRUTH IN TIME
THESE RHYMES.
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

 

Bobby Finger is a registered voter and a Beyoncé pregnancy truther.



15 Comments / Post A Comment

michaelrxs

Mariah Carey
Stretching a word over thirty-five seconds
Showing my body and Christmas, it beckons
Roget’s thesaurus and my lambily
These are a few of my favorite things.

milenakent

U beatiful tanks.@n

2230495986@twitter

Rob Ford
Sweating and swearing and inebriation
Destroying a city and its reputation
Sanity tenuously held by a string
These are a few of my favorite things.
OH AND ALSO CRACK I FUCKING LOVE CRACK.

finguns

@2230495986@twitter If I had a million hours I would make a million new logins just to like this again and again.

Ashley Haynes@facebook

Gwyneth Paltrow
The occasional acting and semi-passionate blogging,
While donning cashmere sweats when tread-mill jogging,
Recommending as X-mas gifts casual 1st class trips to Beijing,
These are a few of my favorite things.

regina dentata

Elan Gale
Mixing up hoaxes with incorrect seating
Presenting vodka and my dick for eating
My credibility hangs by a string
These are a few of my favorite things!

yeah-elle

Regina George
Hair, super big for best secret stashing
Butter, a carb for hungrily mashing
BOO YOU WHORE
These are a few of my favorite things!

honey cowl

A++++++, and, now that I know that there is a "Beyonce pregnancy truther" movement I am joining it.

Samhide

Wow amazing photo! Reminds me of my past with someone. It's kinda sad.
How to Cure Premature Ejaculation

mollpants

@Samhide I'm very interested about this particular spambot's life.

WendyYans99

I just got paid $5628 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that's cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $8.1k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do, www.Best96.com

Lily Rowan

You guys. You guys!

Awesome.

18211096@twitter

Great poetry... but what I'm distracted by is the extra person in the photo at the top behind Brigitta. Maybe he's the person to get them excited about running?

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