Friday, November 15, 2013


The Rob Ford Pie


Previously: The Baggage Pie

Ann Friedman probably made this pie chart in one of her drunken stupors.

32 Comments / Post A Comment


Yes. Yes. Yes. It's like you're in my head.


excellent NICEE So good!@y


Replace 25% "bought illegal drugs in the past 2 years" with "Is completely unqualified to hold public office but doesn't see as barrier."


@DairyCat Also: he has clarified that the drugs he purchased weren't for him. I guess all the drugs he has used since becoming Mayor were gifts (possibly from gang members). SO MUCH BETTER!


@swirrlygrrl Oh, I meant to be applicable to me, but that works!


I live in Toronto, and while I'm appalled that my city has been thrust into the international limelight for such a lurid reason, a small part of me is just thrilled that Toronto has been THRUST INTO THE INTERNATIONAL LIMELIGHT. Gawker never used to mention Canada at all, and now look! I feel like Carrie White - ignored for ages and then finally, belatedly, crowned prom queen.

(Never saw the entire movie...I assume it ends with Carrie being happy and well-adjusted and reigning benevolently over her contrite peers, right?)


@greyeminence I was visiting North Carolina just as the first round of the scandal happened, and oh my, people knew about Canada that week!

Nicole @twitter

@greyeminence Saaaaame! Plus Ford is just so the opposite of what people think about when they think about Canada, which I love. He's so crass. And impolite. And terrible.


@greyeminence I am from Washington DC and still have fond memories of it being the butt of all jokes when we had our own crack-smoking mayor scandal. I was young enough that I though DC was run by two people named Mary and Barry, but it was still exciting.


@greyeminence I live in Calgary, who has a very nice mayor, who happens to be muslim too (huge deal for cowboy country Calgary). I feel very lucky.
Also when I was in Seattle my friends and I started talking to a group of locals. One local guy stopped the conversation and just said 'hang on! I thought Canadians were meant to be nice?!'. Haven't laughed that hard in a long long time!


Based on my terrible drunken decision-making in the past, 100% would probs smoke crack if offered some while in a "drunken stupor" (jk jk)


I just think the whole Rob Ford situation is terrible yet hilarious


@fabel I am in love with the fact that that was his defense, like, you guuuyyyyyyssssss, it's not that I'm a crack smoker, I was just SO DRUNK that I would have done whatever! (Of course, the number of times I have smoked some ill-advised pot or had a drink I didn't need when I was mega drunk is very high, so I'm not one to throw stones.)


@OhMarie hahahaha - I was wondering why the excuse of 'Drunken Stupor' was not a slice of the pie! TOTALLY like a 22% thing.


@fabel have done. NBD.


I'm in the 25%!


@Slutface There are two 25%s!

(I'm totally in one of them.)


As an Illinois resident (prison seems to be our governors' retirement plan), I would just like to thank Toronto for making me feel just a tiny notch better about our politicians.

And then I'm like, "wait, is smoking crack really any dumber than trying to sell the president-elect's senate seat over the phone?" Because I'm really not sure on the answer to that. I'm leaning towards "crack is less whack."


@Poubelle Haha, if only this were just about smoking crack. (He's done a lot of other shady shit, including: spending city money on a football team he coached, which he went to court for and still got off even tho he admitted to never reading the rulebook about these things, sexually harasses female staffers and city councillors, is racist and classist while maintaining that he is a "populist," hires known criminals to be part of his staff, beats his wife, shows up drunk at public functions, doesn't go into work half the time, possibly had one of the young men in the crack video killed...the list kinda goes on).

honey cowl

We are the 35%!


100% of this is personally applicable, and I choose to be proud rather than ashamed of that fact.


@hallelujah Me too. Me too.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Take out the drugs and add "25% pushes Canadians on their limits of niceness" and you've got me.

Fear Biter

Usually I love these - and I realize this dude doesn't necessarily need/deserve anyone sticking up for him - but to be perfectly honest I could kiiiind have done without the bodysnarking.


@Fear Biter at first I thought you meant the "more than enough to eat at home", & I was about to gleefully inform you of his quote about, ahh, cunnilingus, but then I realized you meant the "more to love" thing. ahha


@Fear Biter Same here. It's such a tired joke and he naturally provides such a wealth of other material! My fondest hope is that sometime in the not too distant future these jokes will seem, to the majority of people, as horrible as the old, "Get a load of my mother-in-law, wacka, wakca, wacka!" jokes.


It's rare that someone makes Marion Barry look like a good candidate for office, so props to Rob Ford for that.


Sorry, just saw this on bbc.com:

Friday's city council vote is the latest blow for 44-year-old Mr Ford, who last week admitted smoking crack cocaine, and this week admitted in a city council hearing that he had bought illegal drugs within the last two years.

Investigation documents released on Wednesday quoted Ford associates as saying that the mayor had driven drunk, used racially abusive language, threatened staff, consorted with a woman suspected of working as a prostitute and made a sexual proposition to a female staff member.

Jeez what a mess.


I realize that this is such an alien position to hold among most people but occasionally smoking crack is such not a big deal to me. I honestly rolled my eyes and says "who hasn't?" to myself before I check that thought and realize.... most people.


I get paid over $87 per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. I never thought I'd be able to do it but my best friend earns over 10k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless. Heres what I've been doing, www.Best96.com


50% "just had a couple of pops," 25% "I was very, very inebriated at the time."

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