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Friday, November 1, 2013

233

Friday Open Thread

We made it! How was your Halloween? Did you bake a Pentagram Pie? Did you get any trick-or-treaters? Did you dress up your dog like an angel and then feel an intense sense of shame the next day? Did you encounter a handsome demon who only spoke in Jock Jams lyrics? Did it happen to be your birthday, and if so, do you feel gifted with second sight?

Tell us about all of this and more in the comments. Thank you for hanging out with us this week, in which:

• We were ridden by the hag, confirming our sense that there is horror everywhere.

• We found love in a hopeless place, i.e. a gallery of funeral selfies.

• We spent six weeks walking the Camino de Santiago pilgrim trail, an activity probably best done with a hurse and worst with a durse, or maybe a Celine purse.

• We read some whiskey poetry (Sometimes, when they disappear/ men take a jelly jar of whiskey/ with them) and caught up on a dozen creepy-ass books.

• We thought about Cameron Diaz's nether region: "Do you think that's weird, that I just shave the sides?"

• We talked about writing memoir, and rewriting fairy tales.

Time to catch up on some juicy television and pour one out for each and every one of the 22 men in America named Richard Hole. See you on Monday.



233 Comments / Post A Comment

iceberg

This week with the Bergy Bits: not much. Among other reasons, they've been grumpy and sick...

Iceberg: "Where's The Quiet One?"
Curtain: "I not here!"

For Halloween they were a Diva Kitty, a Clown Monkey and a Quiet Bunny. Ridiculously cute.

rosaline

@iceberg Ahhh I hope they start feeling better! I bet they were adorable in those costumes.

supernintendochalmers

@iceberg Awww, those animals sound so fitting for their personalities! Cuuuuute.

katiemcgillicuddy

I kind of broke up with my girl on my birthday! It was really bad! But then we were okay the next day! Except I know it's just going to happen again! The fucking Red Sox won the World Series. I just got out of bed after a day of debilitating and massively painful period cramps! But at least the crying has stopped!

Please in the name of all that is holy, will someone please give me a beer.

Hope you guys have a great weekend!

iceberg

@katiemcgillicuddy Oh no. You poor thing! Maybe don't make any big decisions until after the mind-fog of Lady Times pain has lifted? I wish you'll the beers and good luck darlin'.

katiemcgillicuddy

@katiemcgillicuddy (I was being kind of snarky at the end there, but I actually do hope you guys all have a great weekend)

katiemcgillicuddy

@iceberg Thanks, man. Luckily, these kind of cramps only last a day for me (usually) so, fingers crossed.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@katiemcgillicuddy That is a lot of things! I hope that the cramps are now completely gone.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) It is! Ha, yes, they seem better now...but they are a sneaky bunch and I trust them as far as I can throw them which is ZERO because you can't throw cramps (as far as I know).

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@katiemcgillicuddy Oh man, I was in a similarly crampy boat yesterday, and it made me Feel All the Things. Sorry to hear about your lady, though. That is a lot of stress. I'd give you a strong, Montana-made IPA if I could. Cheers, pal.

zamboni

@katiemcgillicuddy Beer: Nature's Painkiller! Bottoms up and internet hugs, pal.

katiemcgillicuddy

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose @zamboni Thanks, loves. I have just procured my rations for the evening and am about to begin imbibing them. A toast to you both.

yeah-elle

the good:
- i dressed up as george washington (a picture!)
- i went to a really great party
- i'm gonna get to see my mama this coming weekend

the bad:
- i broke things off with this guy i've been seeing and he was so kind and sweet about it and i felt so bad that i cried and it was really embarrassing
- then i felt all funked up for the rest of the week

the stress vomit-y:
- i still haven't asked my crush out on a date hahahahaugh

rosaline

@yeah-elle That is an excellent wig. Also, I'd like to know more about George Washington holding an opponent's wife in a jar of acid, please.

yeah-elle

@rosaline thank you! although at this point it looks more like a white afro than anything approximating a colonial 'do, haha.

i assume everything from that video is 100% accurate, including "6 foot 20, fuckin killing for fun," "he made love like an eagle, falling out of the sky," and "ladies dug his snuff and his gallant stroll."

adorable-eggplant

@yeah-elle I love your costuuuume!

up cubed

@rosaline Yea, that would be a crazy-realistic costume party-trick.

rosaline

@yeah-elle This now makes way more sense. Thank you for the clues!

supernintendochalmers

@yeah-elle You look awesome!

j-i-a

@yeah-elle WOW your costume rocks

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@yeah-elle Excellent costume! Maybe you can just wear that to feel some Washingtonian confidence and ask out your crush. "Want to go out with me? I'm a president, if that helps."

yeah-elle

all of you are so nice, thanks!

PS @I'm Right on Top of that, Rose: ugh he's seen me in it andddd it didn't help, presidential confidence fled me :(

Beaks

@yeah-elle I totally cried, like, most of the way home after breaking it off with a guy in favor of the guy that eventually became my husband. So, you know, solidarity and all.

That is a most excellent costume and you should totally go get 'em.

rosaline

I only got four trick-or-treaters. (They were super cute though.) I was not hoping for hundreds, as last year I only got ten, but this is quite a comedown. What does this say about American society that children don't walk around their own neighborhoods anymore???

Also, now I have way too much candy.

adorable-eggplant

@rosaline Apparently 'trunker-treating' is the new big thing. I heard about it on the radio.

Jinxie

@adorable-eggplant What?! Kids today grumble grumble.

phipsi

@rosaline None in my 'hood, two years running. We live too close to a college campus. *whomp whomp*

fallopian princess

@rosaline I had around 50, but was complaining this morning because I used to live in a destination 'hood for trick or treating and would get way more. Y'all are putting things in perspective.

Away Laughing

@rosaline I got three, but they were all related to me and they all just wanted a glass of water instead of candy. (I forced them to take the Hershey's because I have chocolate standards to uphold.)

rosaline

@adorable-eggplant and co. I feel like trunk-or-treating lacks all the magic of Halloween--your neighborhood being transformed into this exciting alternate version, the thrill of ringing doorbells and not knowing what you'll get. Grumble grumble indeed.

My neighborhood has a good number of apartment buildings, so it's not a destination neighborhood by any means, but I know there are lots of children because I see them walking to the nearby elementary school with their parents in the mornings. Apparently they are all going somewhere with better pickings for Halloween.

adorable-eggplant

@rosaline Yup. I love the walking up to people's houses thing. In my neighborhood people sit out on their porches and drink and hand out gobs of candy. It's my actual favorite holiday.

Also, I love the awkward tweens who still trick or treat (because I was one in my day). Lots of adventure time costumes this year.

BoatGirl

@rosaline Woohoo! My neighborhood made a concerted effort to organize (via email) so all the parents knew where people would be home, and I got about 15 trick or treators. This is way up from the 5 last year. I actually ran out of candy and had to borrow some from my neighbor.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@rosaline I had hundreds of trick or treaters, so many that we were giving out one piece of candy to each and went through eight bags of candy in an hour and a half. There were still kids banging on our door even after we'd turned off the porch light and drawn the curtains.

rosaline

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Wow. That's pretty extreme. Now I know where all the kids in my neighborhood went!

adorable-eggplant

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I may have yelled at my boyfriend. "Get inside! Get inside!" after he handed out the last piece of candy. I also may have turned the porch light off while he was still outside. I love this holiday and I can be a little melodramatic.

adorable-eggplant

Hi all! Super busy, but I promised to collect crock pot recipes and so I am! Big hits so far: http://britaintastesgreat.co.uk/recipe/caribbean-porridge/ Big misses: I made apple butter with too much vinegar (too much vinegar, a phrase I'd never thought I would type) and it was awful.

SO tell me your favorites.

celeec4@twitter

@adorable-eggplant Erm- this isn't so much a recipe as much as a, how to be an even lazier person. Instant spaghetti/lasagna when one arrives home. In morning, place your dried noodles in the crockpot, alternating layers with your pasta sauce of choice and a bit of water. Let it cook all day long. Arrive home to already-cooked dinner in a crockpot~! Sadly, the pasta will definitely NOT be al dente. But its arriving home to a meal that requires no further waiting/prep? :D

Onymous

I named my terrible truck:
Clarice

She's getting healthier by and large. I think I might need to just put a new alternator belt on there. I tightened it up last week and it ran great for a while but the last two days she's started in the morning before work but refused to start after work.

Though she doesn't sound like she's trying to turn over in the afternoons like she used to before I tightened the belt so...?

adorable-eggplant

@Onymous I am super impressed with your level of handiness! I'm considering adding more gears to my bike, and that is daunting enough.

Onymous

@adorable-eggplant Everything on Clarice can be fixed with a crescent wrench and screwdriver. I've changed gears on a bicycle before and it's at least as complicated as everything I've done so far.

Carburetors are fucking black magic though so I'm just crossing my fingers that I don't ever have to touch it.

RNL
RNL

@Onymous I kept reading that as "I named my terrible luck: Clarice." It was funny.

zeytin

Is anyone else trying to conceive? It is so difficult not to get sucked into the madness of TTC forums. But they are so annoying. Just the prevalence of all the acronymese is enough to make you go crazy. Ok everyone knows DH but get this guys, BD= Baby Dancing= Sex. Blegh. Also, I love how people have to say TMI as an apology when we are on a forum where people are publicly sharing the quality of their cervical mucus (CM, of course), and how often they have sex. There is no TMI anymore, guys.

iceberg

@zeytin Good luck! Been there :)

planforamiracle

@zeytin I've never delved into that but I find the "baby dance" thing HORRIFYING. And my eyes dart to the letters TTC together because I live in Toronto and that is the name of our transit system.

supernintendochalmers

@zeytin Baby Dancing. Weird.

Also I can't help but think of this.

frenz.lo

@zeytin Oh, yeah, no. I can't with those sites. Even FertilityFrenemy calls intercourse "BD" on the little chart. Also, I am Doing a Bad Job of Trying to Conceive. So far, no dice. I think it's because we're not doing sex enough. Also, I have a horror of telling people I know in real life, lest they advise me. Also, I accidentally replied all to a work thread, thinking I was replying to one person who already knew my business, and I let the whole thread know.

Urwelt

@zeytin Just imagine BD as a slyly grinning face wearing suave sunglasses. Like B-D with no nose. Pretty decent way to denote sex if you ask me.

zeytin

@frenz.lo Oh no! Yeah, I am definitely on the DL about it. I feel like if everyone knew they would be like "So??" every time I saw them, and I would have to constantly tell them not yet... We haven't told family either. There's enough stress about the whole effort to begin with, never mind with family checking in. I am really limiting my drinking, though, so I think I will probably be pretty suspicious as the holidays approach...

Have you just been pretty laissez-faire about it? I just started temping and charting, and I know that you have to try for a year before things are considered problematic. But with fertility issues discussed so much, it's hard for me not to worry that there might be a problem. The charting is useful but it makes me a little too obsessed. I wish I could be a little more relaxed about the whole endeavor, but, that is not my personality type I guess!

zeytin

@Urwelt Hahaha, like "Yeah, baby"! I like it.

frenz.lo

@zeytin I had my IUD removed for the purpose in July, and for the month of August, I was an extremely devoted charter, and excitedly peed on Wondfos until I got my period, but then in September, I had a stressful thing happen right around when ovulation should have been, and just like the book said, it delayed it. I thought that was oddly cool, like, aha, science in action! But then I got discouraged and was like, fuck charting, I renounce charting for the month of Sucktober. it's not very zen-relaxy. It's more that I am sulky.

zeytin

@frenz.lo I still chart temps but learned the hard way not to be hyper-observant of "symptoms" in the two week wait. I feel like I have my head on straight most of the time in general, but that shiz made me cray. Anyway best of luck to you, don't get too down as it's very early days.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Is it weird that I'm still too scared to read the article about the hag? (In my defense, I only found out this was a thing that existed quite recently, when I was reading How to be a Woman.)

up cubed

TMI advice time? I'm newly single with an IUD. I spot unpredictably and have thick/whitish mucus, sorta like a yeast infection, but my health care provider says it is normal. Should I warn new partners so they don't think I have an active infection or something? How do you ask someone if they want to get down if you are spotting? In this case, it isn't something I can predict, so waiting a week probably won't help. Of course, I plan to always use condoms, but I still don't want to freak out anyone.

yeah-elle

@upupandaway i have never been in this situation, but i'd go for "my IUD makes me bleed a little sometimes. sooo is that cool cause let me lay out my sex towel."

planforamiracle

@yeah-elle
that's a really good idea. I'm in the same boat as @upupandaway; I heartily endorse the sex towel strategy.

Quinn A@twitter

@upupandaway I really don't think you need to warn new partners so that they don't think you have an active yeast infection. I get mild ones pretty regularly (I've seen a doctor about it; I know they're yeast infections; it's fine even though it sucks), and basically it just does not matter at all. Dudes tend to be pretty ignorant about vaginas; they're not likely to even notice, never mind care.

As for the spotting: I think you can just ask! Just say "hey, I have an IUD, so I might be spotting a little bit. That's not a problem, is it?". It might be for some people, but a lot of adults have long since gotten over any squeamishness about period sex. I mean, the majority of sexually mature women bleed for a week every month. At some point you kind of have to get over it, right? Unless the person has problems seeing any blood ever (which some people do!), I think it's okay not to worry about grown ass people freaking out over a little menstrual blood. :)

Urwelt

@upupandaway I am/have been in a somewhat similar position, except the spotting has mostly stopped, thank god. Regarding the mucus, I doubt that will be noticeable at all if you're aroused. The same may be true of the spotting, honestly. What's enough to ruin your underwear might not be enough to notice when... more is going on. Um, if you want to be sure, you could pick a day when you know you're spotting, masturbate, and then see what your sheets/hands look like.

up cubed

@upupandaway Thanks everyone! Sometimes I need a reminder that I'm a normal person and everyone's body can be weird.

Porn Peddler

I'm going through a hideous, gut-wrenching, painful friend breakup right now. My partner is away, as is my room mate. And gawwwwd I would love to be biking my ass off right now but it's frighteningly, power-outage-warning windy out there.

HELP.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Porn Peddler Friend breakups are the worst. Going biking sounds like fun, but don't risk it in this wind! Is there a gym that you can get to easily for some probably-not-as-good-as-the-real-thing stationary biking?
Otherwise: crappy movies and popcorn. and wine. Have some trashy alone time. You deserve it.

Porn Peddler

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) I could plausibly impersonate my room mate and go to her gym (FUCK IT SHE PAID FOR THE MEMBERSHIP AND HER ASS IS AWAY FOR A MONTH).

I have trashy covered. I have been eating and drinking black coffee all day. Auuuuuugh.

Jinxie

@Porn Peddler Oh man, I'm sorry. I hope it gets easier soon.

victorian rose

@Porn Peddler

Friend breakups are so, so horrible. You have my sympathies.

Gulfie

@Porn Peddler <3 I wish I still lived near you. I'd keep you company :(

Porn Peddler

@Gulf of Finland GULFIE!!!!!! <3

meetapossum

I am getting a new crush? I need to stop this immediately.

In other news, my friend gave me a crab hat to wear to a costume party tonight, which fits not only my zodiac sign, but also my attitude about dressing up around Halloween.

Urwelt

@meetapossum You could also tell your crush it's because you're trying to take your recent diagnosis with humor, if you really need to burn that bridge.

meetapossum

@Urwelt You're a genius.

pajamaralls

I feel like I haven't been on FOT in so long.

I'm waiting around for my uncle so I can drive him to the county jail. He has 'til 5 to check himself in because he owes alimony and didn't/couldn't pay it.

Bright news - Aziz Ansari's new special is on Netflix and I may be getting a job soon. It's seasonal work at a dept. store but it's money.

angelinha

@pajamaralls You sound like a good niece. Hope it went well.

pajamaralls

@angelinha Thanks. He actually ended up not having to go because they didn't have paperwork on him, so it's looking like his ex-wife dropped it.

Beaks

Okay, I need girl help! Statement necklaces- how do they work? I don't understand how to put an outfit together where the necklace is a reasonable part of the ensemble vs. something that is taking over my body. My sister just got me an awesome one made of interlinked black spirals that I really want to wear, but I don't know how.

For reference, I'm fairly broad-shouldered, so I tend to wear V or scoop necks, and I have this weird thing about necklaces being all on my skin or only on my shirt (which I'm willing to learn how to break if someone can explain to my why it is good or how I should go about it).

enic

@Beaks I'm broad-shouldered (with tiniest chest ever) and i only know how to make my two statement necklaces work with higher crew-type necks, so i basically only wear them with my one white sleeveless peplum top. so it is only on the shirt. but also sometimes with a white/chambray button-down, with the top two buttons unbottoned, under the shirt? (cuz i'm not cool enough to do the jcrew button-to-the-top and wear statement bib necklace over the shirt, but that's a thing too.)

My guess is you will have better luck with scoop necks than v-necks? Because then it can sit on your chest above the scoop and not overlap with the shirt?

cuminafterall

@Beaks Do you have button-front shirts? Lately I am ALL ABOUT the shirt buttoned all the way to the collar with a necklace tucked under the collar. I'm also broad-shouldered and this may accentuate that? BUT I don't care because I think it looks so cool.

Or just let it take over your body. If people give you side-eye, just tell them you're bringing back the breastplate.

planforamiracle

@cuminafterall I think the buttoned shirt + bib necklace is a damn cool look, though I have yet to try it.

up cubed

@Beaks On Pinterest and some lady-advice sites there are grqphics with examples of what necklines go with which necklaces, if you want examples. What is the shape of the necklace (long, pointy, round, etc?).

rosaline

@Beaks I liked how this girl did it here. Over a sweater and a button up.

rosaline

@rosaline (Scroll down to the fifth row of pictures to see.)

Beaks

@upupandaway It is round, not super long. I tried it with a camisole in the same color (black) and a brightly colored cardigan over it and that was pretty okay? I think it would work with blazers, too, but at the moment I only have one that I really like and it is red, so I can't exactly wear it every day.

@rosaline The problem with the shirt buttoned all the way to the top look is that I have what my doctor called a "very muscular neck" (she seemed- impressed? I felt good about it), so since lady shirts don't come in neck sizes buttoning all the way to the top is tricksy.

katiemcgillicuddy

FUCK ALL WITH THE SPORTSSSSSSSS

The fucking Red Sox won the fucking World Series and just, I VOTE NO ON THAT.

Washington looked good first half vs Peyton. And then they stopped doing that! RG looked better though.

The NBA is here! I am actually excited about the WizKids, they should (should being the operative word here) make the playoffs. Then again, if anyone knows how to underachieve it's...every single one of my teams. Also, the Lakers bench vs. the Clippers (daaaaaamn) the Sixers beat the Heat and Steph Curry is a maniac.

Guys, TALK TO ME.

meetapossum

@katiemcgillicuddy Giants beat the Eagles!! HEYYYYYY!!!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@katiemcgillicuddy I was so excited about NBA and I haven't even watched any this week. womp womp.

I'm not trying to be rude, but like, Boston sports fans, we get it. Stop acting like your city has never won anything before. This is your third base ball trophy in the last like four minutes. I know it means a lot, especially this year, but like, enough with the "OMG I can't believe we won!" because soon your base ball team will be as irritating as your hockey team and your football team. Yeah, I said it. Sorry.

I will keep my rant on Semyon Varlamov to myself, or for a future blog post.

I HEARD A RUMOR THAT GEORGE PARROS WILL PLAY TONIGHT and I am excited because it's Movember now and omg.

meetapossum

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Boy, right? Sorry, Sox, you cannot act like the scrappy underdogs anymore.

meetapossum

@meetapossum Also, LOL at the NFC East since the Giants are 2-6 and still only 2 games out of first place in the division.

katiemcgillicuddy

@meetapossum Seriously, having beards doesn't make you underdogs you jackasses.

stonefruit

so this is not the place for my Snoopy-like dance of joy that the team both my mother and I both grew up with - the team that, for the vast majority of both of our lives, had never won the World Series - not only won it, on home field, but played extremely well?

after finishing last year with the worst record in the league?

and only a few months after an actual terrorist attack at another beloved sporting event?

I should take that somewhere else, is what you're saying?

You know what, I get that we're easy to hate, I do! And I'm having my own difficulties changing my perspective from "there's always next year" to "goodness we sure are rich and can buy up a lot of fancy talent." But y'all - and to be fair, the media generally - have some short-ass memories when it comes to Boston sports, and the Red Sox in general.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Whooooa about Varly. I didn't hear much about what happened, just the crazy charges. Is there more info now?

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@katiemcgillicuddy I don't know if there's anything definite, but it's just irritating because you just know that if he did actually hurt his girlfriend, that people will be angry about it for now, but at some point it will just be a memory and he'll play again and it'll be almost as if nothing happened. Because that's what happened with his coach.

she came in through the bathroom window

@katiemcgillicuddy I always wanted to get in on one of these FOT sports things! NBA I MISSED YOU SO BAD!

I'm a Lakers fan, so not expecting a whole lot this season, but DAMN, new bench mob, way to get me excited! We haven't had decent production off the bench for at least three seasons. Of course, they then proceeded to lose spectacularly to GSW -- but that was fun purely from a basketball fan perspective, because OMG, look at Klay Thompson go! AND YES WITH THE SIXERS BEATING MIAMI.

And yeeeah, as an LA sports fan, even one who's not particularly into baseball, I'm generally not down with Boston winning anything, even if it's not the Celtics.

katiemcgillicuddy

@stonefruit Yes...you guys are easy to hate. And yes, many of your fans are jackasses (and a lot of them aren't even from Boston!) and everyone else in the country has New York and Boston sports thrown in our faces CONSTANTLY, and it get's really, really old. However, I definitely made this thread seem unwelcoming to you Boston Pinners (all of whom I like very much) and I was going to post a little apology in this thread. So my bad, stonefruit. At least you won the World Series, don't forget that this is also the place to GLOAT (oh godddd, why did I saaaaay that) :)

meetapossum

@stonefruit @katiemcgillicuddy

But I think we can all agree that Philly fans are the absolute worst, amirite?

TheJacqueline

@stonefruit I am doing a Snoopy-like dance right alongside you!

The Red Sox won the World Series. I feel GREAT about that! I am ECSTATIC about that! And yeah I get that we are no longer a "scrappy underdog team" but that is a hard perspective to change, especially when you grew up with NYY fans screaming "1918" in your face at every opportunity. Each win might not actually BE lucky anymore, but it damn sure feels that way.

katiemcgillicuddy

@meetapossum PREACH. This reminds me of a truly heartwarming story. A few years ago, the Caps and the Pens were in the Winter Classic. Caps had the game in hand, and as the 3rd period wound down, slowly but surely, Caps fans and Pens fans joined together to chant, "FLYERS SUCK FYLERS SUCK!" It was beautiful.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@katiemcgillicuddy I actually thought of your avatar and name during that Broncos-Redskins game. I may have said out loud, "Oh, I bet katiemcgillicuddy is so happy!" And then, "Oh, I bet katiemcgillicuddy is so sad!"

zamboni

@katiemcgillicuddy Yeah, congrats to Boston as a city, but fuck the Red Sox and especially John Farrell forever. (I actually like or don't mind a large number of their players but as a general entity and fandom, blerrrrrgh.)

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) The Varlamov-Related Week On The Internet has been a rough reminder that sports culture/general human society are not welcoming to women. It was super cool that the guys who run the Blackhawks site I frequent came out hard against Varlamov and the general treatment of domestic violence in sports (they are super against the 'Hawks having Bobby Hull as an ambassador/at games for the same reason, which I also find pretty disgusting) but some of the comment wars that ensued ... certainly looking at some people differently. Dudes dragged false rape accusations into arguments. It was a bad time.

Aspiriationally Natalie

@katiemcgillicuddy the Michigan/Michigan State game is tomorrow! Made even more exciting by the fact we're ranked right on top of each other (Michigan is 21, MSU is 22.)

Sunday is kind of lazy (no one interesting in Cup of China, not worried at all re: outcome of Pats/Steelers), but maybe I can convince my dad to watch the Browns/Ravens game at the bar down the street...

Onymous

@katiemcgillicuddy Oh my god did you guys watch the Seahawks/Rams game? It was the ugliest game I have ever seen. I swear every third play had a flag.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Onymous Ohhh man, that was bad! I saw maybe half of it and yiiiiikes. Your boys are still money though.

katiemcgillicuddy

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Haha, well thanks man, it's nice be thought of even if it was in the context of that debacle.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Aspiriationally Natalie Oh yeah, Michigan Michigan State, I'm glad you mentioned that cause I think I'll watch that one. Who is favored in Browns/Ravens? I can't imagine it's a huge spread.

katiemcgillicuddy

@zamboni Ugh, yeah the Bobby Hull thing is gross. Link me that Blackhawks site, will ya buddy?

ETA: that was meant to be for @Rookie

@zamboni I was just going to agree with you on the Sox thing.

katiemcgillicuddy

@she came in through the bathroom window Hi, I somehow missed you! Hooray for new sports thread people! Yes, NBA all day, man. That Lakers bench was something else the other night, I don't know if it'll hold up, but I feel like the Lakers are going to be just fine, despite what some people are saying.

zamboni

@katiemcgillicuddy Hawks site/post is here. Lots of people doing good work in the comments too though.

katiemcgillicuddy

@zamboni Ha, oh I can't read, it was you who said that to Rookie. I am slow today. Yeah, 95 % of these comments seem like solid stuff to me. Thanks dude.

Aspiriationally Natalie

@katiemcgillicuddy Considering that the other Top 25 matchups at 3:30 are ND/Navy and Clemson/UVA, good choice! (Though I will also be keeping an eye on Nebraska/Northwestern, as I was supposed to go to the game but plans fell through and I want Northwestern to turn things around while pointing & laughing at Nebraska's demise. Sorry not sorry to my little sister who's a freshman there.)

ESPN Pigskin Pick'em favors the Ravens 70/30 (not surprising, they're reigning Superbowl champs), but the spread is +3 Cleveland. It helps that the Browns are playing at home... should be a pretty good game!

katiemcgillicuddy

@Aspiriationally Natalie Yeah, 3 sounds about right. I'd still take the Browns, straight up, cause I feel like it's going to be ugly. Ravens have constantly beaten the spread though, so I wouldn't bet that.

katiemcgillicuddy

Presented without commentary, because I'll take the pick-me-up, yes. I. will.: Caps 7, Flyers 0.

ETA: Sans Ovie.

planforamiracle

I got to wear my David Bowie costume TWO TIMES this week!

I'm pretty glum though, otherwise. I was sick this week and feeling useless at my job. I need to figure out how to motivate myself.

Seeing so many cute couples in costumes this Halloween (and feeling like one of the only singles among my friends) gave me a big ol' case of Forever Alone feelings.. I'm torn between feeling too hung up on my ex to "get out there" and meet/date new people, but maybe it will help me get over him? Only one way to find out, I guess...

knockout

@planforamiracle Which Bowie did you go as? Ziggy Stardust?!

When I'm feeling useless at work, I try to set little daily or weekly goals for myself (i.e. finishing a manuscript by Friday, registering for a conference this afternoon). It sounds stereotypical but it really helps keep me on track and semi-accomplished. Maybe it will help you too.

commanderbanana

@planforamiracle If nothing else, it's a distraction? That's what I tell myself, anyway.

planforamiracle

@knockout Thanks. I think that will help—maybe something as simple as checking things off a list will give me a little boost. I've slipped pretty far down the spectrum of productivity so it'll be baby steps to get back up.
And yes I was Ziggy Stardust! I did the lightning bolt makeup once, and the freaky-alien gold circle makeup once. both times I covered my eyebrows and I looked like an alien, it was pretty great.

and @commander banana I like yer style.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

After many years (okay, like three years) of trying, I won the office Halloween costume contest this year, finally! Competition was pretty tough, though, so I'm surprised that I won. I dressed up as a gumball machine, and it was such an easy homemade-ish costume that didn't limit my mobility as much as it could've, I guess. I won a movie pass!

(Just the one. It used to be a pair of movie passes, but now it's just one.)

kateek

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Congrats! A single movie pass is a little sad, but at least you got prize. For my work party I was the captain of the Costa Concordia - being under the influence of alcohol was part of my costume.

victorian rose

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

one movie pass is really kind of sad and depressing. "Are you assuming I have no friends and go to the movies alone by myself all the time? BECAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT."

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@victorian rose Well, they are, I guess. I've been to the movies like 2-3 times this year due to lack of friends (and also I work a lot). But when I told my coworkers how rarely I go to the movies, some of them seemed to be pretty genuine when they said they'd go with me! So that's cool.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@kateek That might be one of the best costumes I heard about this year, along with Caesar Salad, the Swedish Chef, and a baby that dressed up as a lobster and was photographed sitting in a giant pot.

(I guess I like food-themed costumes)

Away Laughing

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) One time in high school I dressed up as the Swedish Chef & ended the night by almost hitting my friend in the head with an over-enthusiastically thrown spatula. NO REGRETS.

de Pizan

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Another lobster costume https://twitter.com/SirPatStew/status/395960502083276801/photo/1

victorian rose

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Hooray for nice coworkers!

she came in through the bathroom window

I've got the most awful, disgusting cold right now -- I called in sick today for the first tine in about two years. (I'd be afraid everyone would think I was just out partying last night, but I think I was sufficiently plague-victimish yesterday that they'll be glad I'm not there. The scariest Halloween costume of all -- Contagious Co-worker!)

So I'm sitting at home, wrapped in a blanket, drinking tea and replaying Mass Effect 2. Aside from the Head Cold of Doom, this is not bad at all!

blueberry mary

Okay, so, I'm going to try to put this as simply as possible:

How many dates does it take after meeting someone for the first time to decide if you like them? If it's not stars-in-my-eyes awesome but he's nice and is relatively enjoyable to be around and making out is fun, is it bad for me to keep going on dates?

victorian rose

@blueberry mary
whenever I get the feeling that I should just "give it another chance" I know to cut my losses and get out.

blueberry mary

@victorian rose But why? If nothing is necessarily wrong, maybe I just have to get to know him better to get the smushy feelings.

victorian rose

@blueberry mary i know if i'm not feeling gushy and excited to see him within the first 2 or 3 dates, it's not going to happen. just simple lack of attraction/chemistry.

do you look forward to dates? do you smile when you get an unexpected text?

karenb

@blueberry mary i would keep going on dates! as long as the making out is fun. if you weren't getting pants-feelings about the person, then maybe you'd be better friends. but i've found that guys like that - nice, enjoyable, pleasant - are sort of a slow burn toward heart-feelings, which (IMHO) is more sustainable than fireworks.

Quinn A@twitter

@blueberry mary It's not bad for you to keep going on dates, necessarily, unless you're in a hurry to meet the great love of your life. If you just want to enjoy dating, then someone you don't immediately have strong feelings about but like well enough is just fine! I dated a lot of those people.

I will say, though, that I pretty much fell in love with my fiancee within twenty minutes of meeting her. We went on our first date a couple of months later (long story), and I came home and said that if I could avoid screwing things up, I was going to marry her.

My best friend has a similar story about her now-husband - she knew within a week that he was her person.

You can have a satisfying relationship with someone you didn't have immediate feelings for, but there's definitely something to be said for meeting a person and just knowing, I think.

SmartCookie

@blueberry mary How do you feel at the very end of the date and immediately after? I have a tendency to talk myself into "giving it another chance" the next day so for me it helps to focus on how I actually felt with him, as opposed to how I hoped to feel.

Biketastrophy

@blueberry mary I'm somewhat torn on this, as the "This is pretty good" thought has led me both into a relationship that lasted 3 years instead of the 3 months it should, and also led me to the person I married and love wholeheartedly.

I'd say if after a month or two (or three?) of dating you're not feeling strongly yet, then maybe cut it off before it leads to mediocrity.

Jinxie

@blueberry mary I dunno, but if you figure it out please share? I'm going on Date 2 tomorrow (no idea what we're doing, though, since we've both been too busy this week to think of anything cool) with a dude who...well, Date 1 wasn't BAD, not in the least, but it wasn't, like, great either? I mean, it wasn't like "fireworks and stars and kittens" great. I don't really have a type, but he's still...not really my type. He seemed really into me, though, and he went in for a goodnight kiss when he walked me to my bus stop* and it was a perfectly fine kiss, and I guess I like him enough that I'm curious to try another date? I dated a dude for 3 years who didn't do it for me at all on Date 1, but I gave him a shot for Date 2 and we really hit it off then.

*Incidentally, 2nd time in a month I've gotten an end-of-date bus stop kiss. I guess this is just a thing that happens when you date via mass transit, but it still seems weird.

planforamiracle

@blueberry mary
this is a really difficult question and I'm enjoying reading everyone's thoughts on it. I personally feel (and maybe this is just due to difficult recent experiences) that the fireworks-y, "just knowing" paradigm is a bar set too high and the rest of the relationship pales in comparison. But maybe it depends on both parties' intentions for the relationship.

blueberry mary

@Quinn A@twitter I've gone out with people before that I REALLY liked right off the bat, which then I of course immediately screwed up, and don't think I've found a way to not get all weird around people I really like. I've heard of people knowing immediately that the person they've started dating were The One, but likewise, I've also heard stories about people not feeling each other to begin with and then falling in love.

I'm 26, but I've never been in a relationship before, which I guess is a part of the reason why I can't really figure this out. He definitely seems to be into me, and I feel a little guilty because he's a nice guy and seems to be looking for a relationship (which I had assumed I was, too), and I don't like the idea of stringing him along, should it get to the point where I'm just not feeling it at all anymore. Three months seems like a long time for a point of reevaluation, but I probably wouldn't be dating anyone else during that time anyway.

planforamiracle

@SmartCookie oooh, I like this idea. Making a point to notice feelings in the moment is difficult, but sounds like it would be helpful here.

Quinn A@twitter

@blueberry mary It sounds like you're not really that interested, but maybe you feel like you need a more compelling reason than that to end it? Like, you can't pinpoint a dealbreaking flaw in the guy, so you might as well keep dating him? And if you need to hear it: not being that interested is reason enough to end it. It is. A guy doesn't have to be awful to not be a good match for you. A couple of my exes are really nice people whom I still talk to on occasion! They're just not my really nice people, and that's okay.

Like I said before, it's perfectly fine to keep dating him if you're having fun! But if you're not genuinely enjoying it, and the thought of dating him for three months to see how you feel does not sound like a good time to you, then you may want to consider cutting your losses now. If the idea of dating him for awhile does sound like fun, then maybe there is some potential for growth there and you wouldn't really be stringing him along.

Basically: I absolve you of guilt for whatever you choose. ;) Dating is hard! It's okay not to have it all figured out early on in both your time with this person and your relationship experience.

rubia

@blueberry mary I'm not sure, but after the second date with each of the guys I've dated semi-long term I was really looking forward to the third date. I think it is possible for feelings to grow over time, but I get really uncomfortable when I feel a lot less for the person I'm dating than I perceive they feel for me. That's usually when I end things.

Side note: I just had my second date with someone I'm really like! The last juicebox I was dating broke up with me a little over a month ago, so it still may be too soon, but I'm trying not to think about that.

RNL
RNL

@blueberry mary I my experience, 3 months is usually the "yea or nay" point (if I haven't been like NAY OH GOD NAY on dates 1-3). I'm a slow burn on the feelings department, and need that much time to sort out what is ego, what is true heart feelings, etc.

For example, I dated a VERY nice guy for three months, felt happy with him, etc, and then around 3 months, when things should have been getting a bit more serious, I was like OH GOD NOPE at brunch one day.

For counter-example: I had been dating my boo and was into him but not particularly worked up about it for around 2.5 months when I finally gave in and agreed to be exclusive, and about 3 weeks after that I realized I was head over heels, which I still am today almost a year later.

I think when you know you know. It's ok to give it a shot. Don't tell him you feel something you don't, but it's ok to keep seeing someone when you feel warmly but not hotly towards them.

blueberry mary

@RNL That was really helpful. I think I'm putting to much expectations on dating to find The Love of My Life when I could just be having fun with the nice guy who likes me. I just don't want to be that asshole who uses someone or leads them on. But you're right, when I know, I'll know.

BoatGirl

@blueberry mary " I just don't want to be that asshole who uses someone or leads them on."
Seems like as long as you're honest about where you are feelingswise, both with yourself and with him, then you'll be okay. If you are enjoying being with him and he's enjoying being with you, why stop? Eventually one of you will probably bring up the question of where the relationship is going, and at that point you can reevaluate. As long as you aren't telling him you're madly in love with him when you aren't, no harm no foul. If he's looking for more, it's up to him to say so (in the same way it would be up to you to so if you were).
You say that you've never been in a relationship before, and maybe your expectations are a little unrealistic? Its very easy to have a crush on someone and get that fluttery feeling, but longer term comfortable is good.
I think someone else already asked Do you look forward to seeing him and spending time with him? Does he make you smile?
If you answer no to both of those, then I'd say walk now. If not, I'd say give it more time.

Beaks

@blueberry mary So, my first date with my husband ended with the most awkward hug ever (he also acknowledges that this is true), but he was so smart and interesting that I decided that I could wait on the physical chemistry and see if we could maybe figure that out later on. And we did, and here we are. But I was definitely not 100% that he was my forever person for a while. Three months is totally fair- no one throws away a ton of time, but you get to get through a few cycles of hormones/ work stress/ whatever to make sure that it's the relationship and not outside factors that's working or not working.

supernintendochalmers

@blueberry mary I think that you should trust your feelings (or lack thereof) and act accordingly UNLESS you have proven in the past to fall only for jerks. In that case, continuing to date a guy who doesn't seem that exciting to you could be a great move towards a more stable relationship than you're wired to seek out. If your gut is usually trustworthy, though, it's totally okay to end things because you're just not feeling it. Often it's better to end it at that point than months later when you've moved on to "miserable."

Myrtle

@blueberry mary You're describing the exact state I want to find! I've learned the flashy guys I'd initially crush on are gad news long term. That flashiness conceals a lot of things like dishonesty, bipolar (untreated) and more. An article I read said "Do not fall for charm" at the same time, I do want to feel attracted to the guy.

cuminafterall

I've been in a funk for the past month or so. Mood-wise I've been down, but I'm able to function normally, but everything seems to take a lot more effort. I've been taking my Vitamin D, exercising, eating well, trying to get enough sleep... what am I missing? Any suggestions?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@cuminafterall Have you seen the sun lately? Or ever had depressive episodes? I hate funks. What about orgasms? A good one of those can bust on through a funky fog.

cuminafterall

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose No history of depression, but come to think of it, I haven't seen the sun since Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I need a light box? At least to give me the energy/motivation to get out in the actual sun more often.

RNL
RNL

@cuminafterall Also try a vitamin B complex! I feel much better after taking one regularly, and am in my first mini-funk for a while and it's manageable comparatively.

Aspiriationally Natalie

Anyone here watch The Good Wife? I am in desperate need of someone to talk about it with, even if it devolves into us shouting "I KNOW!!!" at each other.

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@Aspiriationally Natalie OMG I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

knockout

@Aspiriationally Natalie This is not terribly helpful, but I started the series this week. I was partially inspired by the Pin piece a couple of weeks ago. I've been looking forward to going home and binging on it all day!

districter

@Aspiriationally Natalie omg, I had seen episodes very casually after the Amazing Race, but got so into it this season and am now starting over from the beginning on Hulu and dang why don't more people watch this show.

Aspiriationally Natalie

@knockout that Pin piece was excellent - and I'm glad that it got you into the show! I binged on the series over like two weeks (during the school year, using not-so-legal means), and was able to catch up in no time. Enjoy it!

Aspiriationally Natalie

@districter I'm so glad that it's on Hulu/Amazon/Netflix now because back when I got into the show two years ago, I had to catch up via not-so-legal means. I'm hoping that the fact Breaking Bad is over and Mad Men is on hiatus - plus all the great press it's getting (that Pin piece from a few weeks back was GREAT) - will convince people to watch on Sunday nights. Though it sucks that it's on after football and hardly ever airs on time :(((

MrsTeacherFace

What do you want for Christmas?

I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas for myself that don't involve maternity clothes, and that is just kind of depressing to contemplate.

Miss Kitty Fantastico

@MrsTeacherFace all that's coming to mind is a Sephora gift card so I can buy replacement brush heads for my Clarisonic and a big tub of Clinique moisturizer. I guess that means I'm an adult now?

farowl

@MrsTeacherFace A fruit dehydrator! I know it will probably end up in the Graveyard of Under-utilized Appliances, but I have this vision of myself making lots of dehydrated apples to bring as a snack to go with my homemade cucumber water I'm not sure how to make to bring on invigorating wilderness hikes I think about but never go on.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@MrsTeacherFace I'm considering asking for one of those tiny iPod shuffles that clips onto your clothes so I can have all my gym music on it without some of the more embarrassing songs taking up space on my current iPod.

Also maybe a groupon/certificate for a keratin treatment? (If I can be sure that the particular treatment I'd be getting is good for my hair)

I usually ask for books, and only get novelty books (which, like, the Ken Jennings trivia book and How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You are awesome, but I want like real actual books) so I end up buying the books I wanted for myself, some time later.

I might also ask for donations to charities, but for some reason my family isn't always big on those, so I might just ask for cash instead and donate the money myself. Is that tacky? My dad usually just gives me cash anyway.

MrsTeacherFace: You should definitely ask for some new-mommy relaxy type stuff! Fancy tea and spa treatments and such.

RNL
RNL

@MrsTeacherFace I want a big fuck-off green amethyst ring to wear on my left middle finger as ayurvedic medicine. It's unreasonable, but that's what I want.

And a king sized bed.

celeec4@twitter

@MrsTeacherFace A replacement ipod for the one I lost a few weeks ago. Working in tissue culture for hours at a go sans music is slowly driving me further insane. Is that boring? I guess that's boring.

Rose Camelia

@MrsTeacherFace Caveats: I did not realize how long the dehydrator would have to run to accomplish drying of fruit. Days and days. (Herbs dry faster.) Combine that with how much noise it makes. For days and days. After the cost of electricity (days and days), I now happily pay any price on -already-dried fruit. The peace and quiet alone is worth it - to me. But maybe you can keep it out in the garage and maybe you live where electricity is not so expensive.

knockout

@MrsTeacherFace Oh, I like this game. I'll be asking for some clothing, new bedsheets (apparently you should have more than one set?), and "tuition" at the local community college for a pottery class.

stonefruit

@MrsTeacherFace for Chanukah this year I'm asking my parents for a new winter coat, because I'm wearing a hand-me-up pea-coat that my sister got at Delia's at least 10 years ago, it's starting to fray at the wrists, the buttons are disappearing, and frankly double-breasted just doesn't work with my bodacious tatas.

angelinha

@MrsTeacherFace A new purse and one of those Jawbone UP sleep/activity monitoring bracelets. I can't decide if I'm actually going to ask for the second one because I already talked myself out of buying it (super expensive for what is, basically, a glorified pedometer), but I might.

wendy darling

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) i have one of those iPod shuffles with all my super-embarassing workout songs on it for the exact same reason as you. when i decided it was a purchase i was willing to make it did a facebook "does anyone have one they don't use they would like to sell me" shout-out and not one but TWO people offered me theirs FOR FREE. because sometimes friends are great. try buying one off a friend first because i guarantee you know someone with one they never use, and the world doesn't need to produce anymore than already exist.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@wendy darling My reply to you got eaten up but in short: Good idea, and I'll try it!

My aunt asked me yesterday what I wanted for Christmas and I didn't know. She does know that I'm stocking up on housewares, so she asked if I wanted anything specific, like baking supplies, at which point I couldn't say fast enough that I don't have any wire racks for things to cool on. So, with any luck, I'm getting a wire rack! Huzzah!

Otherwise, I've bought myself most of the things I wanted, like fancy nail polish and a Naked palette, so I don't know. Plus, anything else I'd want in terms of beauty products is so specific that I'd feel like an idiot asking for a thing of gel eyeliner like Jane has in her eyeliner tutorial video.

farowl

Has anyone ever considered donating (or actually donated) eggs? It's something I've been thinking about. I don't mind doctors and the financial incentive is definitely a contributing factor.

meetapossum

@farowl I thought about it, but there was a Hairpin article a couple years ago that turned me off to the idea. It's here, if you're interested in reading it!

supernintendochalmers

@farowl I've thought about it, bc you can get a pretty good chunk of money for it, but ultimately I decided it was too invasive plus they probably don't want eggs from someone who smokes as much pot & exercises as little as I do.

planforamiracle

@planforamiracle oops, something weird happened to my HTML. links still work—The Walrus and Maisonneuve published her articles about egg donation & the murky laws (at least in Canada) and the difficulties of the actual procedure.
Personally, I want to be a mom someday and that makes me want to keep all my eggs/DNA for my future use. Haha

iwearaFEZnow

you guys who have applied/are applying to grad school: asking for recommendations is the worst, right? it's not just me? i just keep expecting to get emails back that say "hahahahah you want to do what where?! psssht, don't waste my time".

and thus, i have sent out a half-assed request, and deadline season is upon us so i'm the worst/worst. :(

adorable-eggplant

@iwearaFEZnow Don't worry! Most professors love writing recommendations! (adding to the field, sending little proteges out into the world, all that jazz) Most of them are happy/flattered to be asked.

ETA: Do be a bit self-effacing, because most professors [in my experience] also like [crave/need] a bit of groveling/ego-stroking.

daisicles

@iwearaFEZnow It is the worst. I asked for some at the beginning of October and... ugh. Ugh. Asking was exceptionally difficult this time for a whole host of reasons, but it's never been easy. A friend of mine has no problem asking and just kept telling me 'but it's professors' job to do things like write letters of rec, they do it all the time, it's fine', which is only marginally helpful. I always feel like I'm imposing! Even when I have concrete evidence that people are willing to write me letters!

Getting a response of 'of course I'll write one for you' from one of the people I asked did help this time, though.

So godspeed! I'm sure they'll understand.

cuminafterall

@adorable-eggplant I'm also thinking about applying to grad school after 4 years in the workforce, but I'm apprehensive about recommendations... Has anyone had a professor write them a recommendation who has retired since they taught you? Or have you approached professors about recommendations after a few years incommunicado?

flashcrash

@iwearaFEZnow I've done it! Just remember that it's part of their job. If it's been a while, just tell them what you've been up to, and why you want to go back to school. Good luck!

celeec4@twitter

@iwearaFEZnow Asking is the worst, but faculty are generally accepting of the fact that rec letters are part of their job. In my experience, I had a few professors I had to harass a great deal for them to submit things on time. So you know, check on them once they've agreed to.

Even if it feels like imposing. Pretty sure if I hadn't harassed one of my professors in person every other day for a month, he would have just forgotten. I mean, granted, this was pretty easy because I was working in that building at the time.

Good luck with grad school apps! May I ask what kind of programs you are applying to?

iwearaFEZnow

@iwearaFEZnow thanks for the support, you guys! it has prompted me to get cracking, instead of making the defeated bleating noise that normally accompanies my closing a new email message in dismay...

@cuminafterall it's been a few years for me, too, so i lack the ability to beg in person. it's so nerve-wracking.

@celeec4@twitter i'm looking at bio programs. i feel so...non-competitive, applicant wise. really, most of my time for the past month has been spent wanting to curl up in a ball and wish my way into being a better student. :\

j-i-a

@iwearaFEZnow I was so anxious about doing this but I think there are lotsa ways to make it as easy as possible for them: use Interfolio if you're not already, send them some v neatly packaged past work with a note sort of reminding them about what they've seen of your work that no one else has, send them baked goods after?

up cubed

@iwearaFEZnow It is part of their job, but it also goes over easier if you tell them what topics you want them to highlight and provide examples. Basically tell them what to write and let them add the good adjectives.

celeec4@twitter

@iwearaFEZnow Oh man! Bio programs. :D Take a look at the bigger umbrella programs, I know mine often will interview slightly oddball recruits because, why the hell not? It just tends to be a slightly different approach to sort through applicants than smaller programs that take 3-5 students a year.

Also good if you're not entirely certain what focus you want to take.

It's been a few years since the application process for me, since I'm verging on the, ohmygod I need to get the fuck finished with this at some point, in my graduate school career, but do let me know if you want to know anything and I'll do my best.

Beaks

@iwearaFEZnow Do eeet. It will be okay. Send thank you notes after. If any of them ask you to draft your own recommendations for them to edit, let me know and I will share all the tips my sister shared with me (these tricks got me scholarship $$s, so I totally vouch for them)

When I asked my professors actually offered to set up phone calls and give me extra advice (and tried to get me to go back to my undergrad school, but, no.) It was really heartening, actually.

Jinxie

Anyone have any good 2nd Date ideas? I have plans for a Date 2 with a dude tomorrow, but we've yet to decide WHAT, exactly, we're doing as we've both been busy and uninspired this week. He just suggested maybe checking out some Day of the Dead goings on but I am kind of hesitant since all the events take place like 2 blocks from ExManfriend's place AND ExManfriend goes to the parade and stuff every year to take photos and I really don't want to run into him. I know it's totally silly of me, but there it is. I can't just reject date dude's idea, though, unless I have an alternative plan.

adorable-eggplant

@Jinxie Netflix movies? And hot cider? That's like my dream date, but I am also lazy as hell.

Good dive restaurants in your neighborhood?

Urwelt

@Jinxie Well it's hard to say without knowing where you live. You could always try "oh, but I've just been dying to try this new restaurant, which is conveniently across town!". Bonus, if he's ever mentioned liking any particular food you can pick that kind of place and say "I think you'd really like it!" and get to look thoughtful.

adorable-eggplant

@Urwelt Or if there's a natural science museum in your town: those make great date spots, because you learn something! And then snacks after.

Jinxie

@adorable-eggplant Netflix and hot cider also sounds like MY dream date, but I'm not sure I'm ready for an at-home date with this guy. (But if you want to come over for Netflix and cider you are most welcome :)
@Urwelt - I'm in San Francisco. In theory, there's no shortage of stuff to do here, but I guess I've lived and dated here long enough that I'm out of ideas :/ "Restaurant across town" isn't a bad idea, though! I like food, and I'm pretty sure he likes food! And I suppose I should actually LOOK to see what else is going on this weekend. I wish I weren't still so freaked at the thought of running into the Ex - the Day of the Dead thing's not a terrible idea.

up cubed

@Jinxie I went to the zoo last weekend, which was good because there is opportunity to talk, but you don't have to talk the whole time. I've also gone salsa dancing, which is sexy, but not great for talking. Dinner is good if you really want to get to know more about someone.

adorable-eggplant

@Jinxie We can do a netflix and cider virtual date (because that is basically my plan for tonight, actually).

I've heard good things about the ice cream in San Fransisco, but perhaps it's a little touristy? On the other hand, ice cream is lovely.

Also, y'all have a lovely botanical garden. Looking at plants is always fun.

Jinxie

@upupandaway Oh, the zoo! That's a good idea!

Jinxie

@adorable-eggplant And ice cream is a universal thing, it's for tourists and locals alike.

adorable-eggplant

@Jinxie E pluribus unum.

BoatGirl

@Jinxie Since you're in San Francisco, I think you should take the ferry over to Sausalito, having drinks in the bar on the boat.
Do the tourist stuff, the weather is supposed to be great this weekend.
What about the Musee Mechanique - that would be a fun interactive date.

up cubed

@Jinxie The Exploratorium is a great early date, there's so much to do and you can get a little goofy.

BoatGirl

@upupandaway Is the new Exploratorium any good?

stonefruit

@BoatGirl yes yes yes yes! It's great! So much fun. Loud, though, and lots of shrieking kids, so YMMV as far as whether you can tolerate it.

Hellion of Troy

@adorable-eggplant Natural History museums make awesome date spots and if it goes well you can make out behind a T-rex diorama and think about the circle of life.

j-i-a

Does anyone else have Halloween pictures I can look at? I am still really hungover from my night as a catstronaut and I want to be soothed by the ingenuity of others

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@j-i-a: I read that initially as 'castronaut' and pictured you in green fatigues and space helmet, with a military cap on top of the helmet

j-i-a

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS i actually really wanted to go as a castronaut but fidel masks were VERY hard to find online!

meetapossum

@j-i-a Hahaha, catstronaut and space yarn!! That is the cutest. I didn't go out last night because I'm a Halloween Grinch. But my friends went out as Jareth and Sara from the ball scene in Labyrinth and I am waiting for a better quality picture because they looked amazing.

kateek

@j-i-a I went as John Waters and my husband was a (very good) Divine. No good pictures, unfortunately. I love the catstronaut!

flashcrash

@j-i-a i went as an illustrated woman from the circus! spent all day putting temporary tattoos on and now i don't to take them off. (I'm a non tatt-ed lady)

milominderbender

I have had a friend for about 11 years now and mostly we've been pretty close. She's always been very sensitive in all of her relationships and I try to be attuned to that, even though I respond to situations very differently. The last month or so, she's been very distant and I am feeling just generally that she doesn't like me very much or is angry about something. It's nothing specific, just tension and some pointed comments. I've mentioned to her (in text) that I haven't heard from her lately but I've been thinking about her and I hope all is well - and that if it isn't that she would let me know. (She didn't respond.)

Part of me is really hurt and wants to find out what I've done that she's upset about. But another part of me feels like just letting the friendship go. If she's going to be so cold and not even try to talk to me about it, maybe it's for the best?

commanderbanana

@milominderbender I think this is a lyric to a song, but - "if the phone doesn't ring, it's me!"

I've had friendships kind of fizzle out once I realized that if I didn't call/email/plan with them, I'd never see them again, and some friends are better at reaching out than others (I generally fall on the side of being the initiator in general), but if you're getting the feeling that something's Not Right and the person in question won't/can't tell you if that's the case, it's probably over.
It may indeed be something you did, or didn't do, or it may have nothing to do with you at all. But I figure if you've asked a few times and not gotten an answer, you've done what you can and it's up to the other person to reach out, or not.
If this makes you feel any better, I went through a similar thing with someone I thought I was pretty close with a few years ago. We didn't talk or see each other for almost two years, and although we did spend some time together afterwards, I still have no idea why she was angry or why she cut me out of her life. I'd say we're friends and I enjoy seeing her, but we'll never be close the way we were before, and I've accepted that I'll never know what I did or didn't do.

planforamiracle

@milominderbender
oh boy. this happened to me with a roommate and it was really hard on me. I still don't know what went wrong, it was 2+ years ago and I do my best to avoid her, and I am courteous but not warm when I do see her.

I agree with @commanderbanana in that if you've reached out in good faith to say "hey, are you mad at me, and can I make it better?" and she hasn't responded, you may be better off not being friends.

iwearaFEZnow

@milominderbender hey there – quick perspective from one who frequently plays the role of the is-she-just-being-a-jerk-maybe-ex-friend:

this has happened to me (active voice: i have done this) as one of those pathetic self-pitying death spirals where something unpleasant or unplanned or just off may have come up in the course of living, as it does in everyone's life, and instead of dealing with it like an adult and asking for support when necessary or grin-and-bearing it, the response is to shrivel up and retreat into oneself while waiting for things to sort out or blow over.
because, you know, your own problems are always bigger and unique and what would anyone else know/care anyhow

and then once it's slightly better you feel so guilty for being a terrible friend and ignoring your relationships and missing the fact that, of course, other people have their own lives that they've been trying to share with you that... you retreat again.

i know it's childish and pretty much inexcusable behavior. i'm working on it – maybe your friend is, too? i don't really have advice, since ultimatums may be the most practical solution, but they are also generally unpleasant for all involved…

i'm sorry, i guess, is all i can offer. i hope everything gets better.

pollypeachum

One word: NANOWRIMO! Which means for me listening to a bunch of weirdly cheerful WWI songs that figure out whether they were performed in earnest or sarcastically, it's hard to tell. "Bonsoir, old thing, cheer-i-o, chin, chin, nah-poo, toodle-oo, good bye-ee!"

chevyvan

So, after deciding I definitely don't want to get back together with my ex, I think it's time to start dating again. But where does one meet single dudes (30-40) in a big city? Is OKCupid my only option? I will do OKC, but I want other options too. I work with mostly women. I start volunteering with teenagers in a few weeks, but I'm not exactly doing that b/c lots of single guys are doing it. Help!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@chevyvan: Do you have that sweet van in your av? Just cruise the avenues with that thing. Get some quadrophonic sound, airbrushed viking on the side and you're set.

up cubed

@chevyvan I tried HowAboutWe and went on a lot of dates with nice grown up men who have real jobs. I've heard that Friday night at the driving range is also a good way to meet single adult men, and that classes aren't very good (per a friend, men don't think they need to be taught stuff). I'm taking martial arts and my class is 90% dudes, but there's not a lot of opportunity for flirting :\

vine fruit

My department and I reenacted the "What Does The Fox Say" music video at the staff Halloween party, so...that was good.

Urwelt

I have a third date with a guy who seems pretty cool this Sunday! I'll probably sleep with him, which will make him the first new person I've slept with in over a year. I'm a little nervous. You get used to things when you're in a relationship, like knowing for sure that he has a normal looking dick.

lasso tabasco

@Urwelt Ahhhh sex with new people is so terrifying for me- it's why I go so long without dating anyone between boyfriends. I can't deal with the prospect of it, it gives me so much anxiety! Good luck!

meowmischen

@Urwelt I did that this weekend after seeing the same penis for over 5 years. It was TERRIFYING (the prospect I mean - the actual item is quite good). How did yours turn out?

Urwelt

@meowmischen It went pretty well! I had to banish a few jerk thoughts comparing him to my ex (in both positive and negative ways), but it was not nearly as awkward as it could have been.

Also it was dark the whole time so after all that I never even got a good look at the dang thing.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

Long time no pin. My roommates were gone when I got home from work, so I went downtown Huntington and sat at the bar to people watch. 2 dollar PBRs helped (wow, cheap-ish beer in socal!?)

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS: But I did talk to a girl from Hawaii who was dressed up as Valerie from Josie and the Pussycats, so.

adorable-eggplant

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS That sounds like the perfect costume. If I hadn't already committed to being a gnome next year, I would be considering it.

lasso tabasco

OMG I went out for Halloween and got drunk for the first time in AGES! I saw my most recent ex (he dumped me in July after a few months of casual dating, no big drama, haven't really seen him since), and he spent a whole hour chatting me up and grabbing my thigh under the table and making eyes at me. Luckily my friends were with me and once they saw what was happening they put a swift end to it by shuffling me out the door of the bar. Hallelujah. Bullet dodged!
Tell me your stories of Ex Sex! Was it okay? Did one of you want to get back together? Did it make the world explode? Do share!

victorian rose

@lasso tabasco Ooooo! I want to run into my ex and have him makes eyes at me! Vindication!

victorian rose

@lasso tabasco omgggggggg. The ex just texted me asking what I was for Halloween and this is the first time he's initiated a convo since we broke up. And I won't lie, I basically hyperventilated when I saw his name flash on my screen and we've texting back and forth for hours. yuyueeeeeueueueueu
THIS IS BASICALLY HIM MAKING EYES AT ME. MY WISHES ARE COMING TRUEEEEEEEEE

PennyCentury

@lasso tabasco In general I've used it as validation, curiousity, and revenge (if I'm being brutally honest). But recently, even though it was an AWFUL faketionship or whatever, he got dumped bad, and I took pity and tried to wingman for him, and knew he totally just wanted to fuck to like feed his mama hijo ego, but you know, I really knew as T. Swift says, NEVER EVER EVER, so... the sex was just ok, but I felt like I did a good deed. You gotta commit to what you want though and just know, once you fuck, especially if its good (which let's be real, it will be, ex-sex is confusing and weird), he'll want it again and you might want it to.

Long story short: do you want to get back together? Because if you do, do not have sex.

lasso tabasco

@victorian rose Get it gurrrrrrl! Halloween is a magical time.

@PennyCentury I don't know! I don't think so? I decided not to follow up with him until an unspecified point in the future. I think with these things it's best to leave them in the Realm of Possibility. But, like, I know I should just find a new person to have sex with, but I just really don't have the time or energy or desire to actually date anyone and I don't see that changing until at least after the holidays have past. Bleh.

Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse

Dilemma: I have been casually hooking up with this dude for a couple weeks now. It's been fun, but I'm starting to realize I actually want a boyfriend and casual hooking up instead is making me sad. Getting a boyfriend right now is tricky because I plan on leaving town in the spring. Casual Hookup is just likeable enough that I would like to date him, but I have a feeling it wouldn't work out in the long run (assuming he was even interested in dating as opposed to casual hooking up, which I don't think he is?). I know I should just break it off...but the sex. The sex, you guys.

Sigh. I just wanted to rant. :/

milominderbender

@Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse I don't really have any good advice but I recently came to the same conclusion myself and cut off all the casual nonsense. But now that it's been a few months and I haven't met anyone more serious, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Gulfie

After a lukewarm date last night I want to actually stop dating. Like really. Stop meeting internet guys who either don't excite me or who sleep with me and then completely lose interest, stop wasting time on okc, stop even worrying about it. I have never successfully done this for any length of time when single and it's kind of a compulsion at this point but I need to stop, I need to stop, I need to stop.

PennyCentury

@Gulf of Finland oh man I FEEL YOU. Good luck. You're worth shit that is exciting and awesome. As someone who is pretty okay at being alone, my tips are just invest in your platonic friends and their relationships? This helps especially with the long monogamous hetero types, srs.

lasso tabasco

@Gulf of Finland Yes! I stopped dating in August and it was the best decision ever. Blissful, blissful calm and emotional stability await you!

wendy darling

@Gulf of Finland i stopped dating in june and wow life is so much better without the hassle. because really if you're not in something that's going somewhere it's really just emotional, physical, and scheduling hassle. being truly alone is so liberating! just do all the things you've always wanted to but think might make you un-dateable. you will discover that being alone is better than being with people who don't excite you, but actually i think you already know this.

Gulfie

@PennyCentury @lasso tabasco @wendy darling

Guys! You are making me feel awesome and excited about this <3

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