Previously: The Treat Yo Self Pie
Ann Friedman wonders whether pickles and hot sauce ever expire but is too lazy to check the labels.
ann friedman, pie charts, hoarding
The cute jeans that I will never, ever fit in again. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY METABOLISM??
@ba-na-nas Remind yourself. Nobody built like you, you design yourself. I would rather es? what I do, entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.====== WWW.Blue76.COM
@rose1 what inspirational spam
@Annie N Yeah, I started off by taking that one seriously, then got confused.
25% holey period underwear
25% clothes I no longer fit into but am certain I one day will just soon as I start eating better/exercising
25% Exercise things like kettle bells that I am convinced I will one day use to fit back into aforementioned clothes
25% Old issues of the New Yorker and Marie Claire that I am sure I will read some time in the future
@khaleesi that Vanity Fair I bought last year and never read on the plane
STAY OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER, LADY.
Oh man, I hate a lot of booze and refuse to throw any of it away. I have like 5 tiny boozes in my freezer that I got in my Christmas stocking last year and have no desire to drink.
@OhMarie I NEVER drink hard alcohol at home, yet I have 3/4 of a bottle of fancy tequila that has been in my freezer since my housewarming party 5 years ago.
@OhMarie it just warms my heart to see someone else refer to "boozes" in the plural.
@OhMarie I am in the same (booze) boat. I mysteriously have both vodka and firefly in my freezer, but I don't drink either one. And yet I haven't poured them down the drain. I also have a 3/4 full bottle of Midori that I think might be over 7 years old. If I ever need to make a Molotov cocktail, that's the first bottle I'm using.
@OhMarie important question: how old can our boozes be ? At what point must I part with the limoncello in my freezer that I bought in 2007? We've been together a long time, one of my most successful relationships.
I'm currently studying abroad and living with a host family. All the laundry gets hung up to dry in the bathroom, which means I'm stuck with only wearing my underwear without holes or stains. Fortunately, because the laundry machine here is smaller, I do laundry frequently enough that it's not a problem, but still. I'm still not throwing things out though, because the second I get back to dorm washers and dryers, I will return to waiting to do laundry until I have Nothing clean left to wear.
@Audley Ha! I do not miss that...or only being permitted three showers a week. (Do miss everything else - enjoy your year!)
i bought a fancy bedazzled vibrator and brought it home to find it had no hope of getting me anywhere, but who can throw that away??
@tater bug Keep it out in the living room! It's a conversation piece!
@tater bug I used to have a totally worthless vibrator, so I put a Pope hat on it and called him Pope Cocksure and put him on a shelf AND SOMEONE STOLE HIM.
@Megasus Can you blame them?
@Statham No, but I'm still not really over it like 8 years later.
I love throwing things away, but I still have a giant CD binder full of albums I ripped years ago. Why do I still have this thing? Am I worried I won't be able to find Nightranger's greatest hits when I need them? Also, did you know Nightranger had more than Sister Christian?
@punzy don't tell me you love me
@punzy Yes, and I have the afore-mentioned Night Ranger's greatest hits as well. I like When You Close Your Eyes, OK?!
30% old correspondence. not just nice letters but also stuff like old "hope you're enjoying spring!" notes from my mama, aw.
30% old plastic bagssss like what if i need them???
30% half of my itunes library that i haven't listened to in over FIVE YEARS
10% a bag of frozen green beans from...two years ago? HOW WHY
@yeah-elle Letters are the worst. I only have a few stacks of letters I can justify keeping, but I am also very young and I imagine in a couple decades I'll have piles and piles. I have no idea how people in the past who received physical letters all the time kept them organized.
Plastic bags are also the worst.
@yeah-elle Ugh, yes, I also have the hardest time throwing away cards/notes/letters. Like, what if Auntie Whoever somehow senses that I've finally thrown away the card and thus no longer care that she wished me a Spooktacular Halloween in 1994?
My grandmother had the same habit, and when she passed away, we founds drawers full of cards. And what do you do with that? Read them? Toss them right into the trash? I don't even remember what we did with them. Possibly bagged them up and shoved them in someone else's attic.
@TheLetterL yeah, it's totally morbid, but for me, personally, it also has undertones of...i want to have these things, when they're gone, eventually, they'll be so precious. REAL FAR AWAY IN THE VERY DISTANT FUTURE. how can i throw away a note where my mom is like, "hey i cleaned out the closets today, you would not believe the cobwebs! see you soon, this card reminded me of you!" ughhhhh
@yeah-elle I have a dog, so those plastic bags get used. SEND ME YOUR PLASTIC BAGS. FOR POOP REASONS.
100% scraps of any and all art supplies*
*anything from the tiniest, most unusably shaped fabric scraps to an entire shoebox full of toilet paper rolls to make pinterest crafts (who wants to hang toilet paper rolls on their wall) that manage to take up an entire closet of a 3 closet apartment
*and no, I don't teach children crafts for a living nor do I have any
@A. Louise My gentleman started saving toilet paper rolls to use as seed starters and after they filled up one box I was like NO ENOUGH THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MORE TOILET PAPER ROLLS. BUT I myself hauled boxes of fabric scraps across the country that I haven't opened in 3 years but that I still will not discard, so I feel you. I feel you.
@A. Louise Oh, the toilet-paper rolls--I started saving them to make this thing: http://craftgawker.com/post/2011/09/14/24730/ but I have still not gotten around to it...
@A. Louise I have done ZERO crafting in at least ten years but refuse to throw out my paint tubes and Cray Pas boxes from that one art class in high school. WHAT IF THERE'S AN ART EMERGENCY
@Amphora THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE AN ART EMERGENCY AT SOME POINT
@Amphora I just had a fucking art emergency. I was so fuckin proud of myself for throwing away (leaving at my parents' house) all the supplies I never used, and then I had to go out and buy sharpies and colored pencils. Colored pencils! The shame!
@Amphora Anytime I have thrown away even the lowliest of art supply, I have immediately found a PRESSING NEED for it within 3 months time.
Yeah, booze doesn't keep in my house. That root beer vodka sounds delicious and it would be gone in the night even if it wasn't.
@Brunhilde Pour it over ice cream!
@Brunhilde Yeah. The only time I had leftover booze was the rum in the freezer when I started Januwagon. It was gone on February 1st.
@Brunhilde Future-Mr. and I have developed a terrible habit of finishing almost an entire bottle of interesting booze but leaving appx one shot, for no apparent reason other than "but then it will be TRULY DEAD". Pastis, Campari, Pimm's, Luxardo. We have a very extensive illusory bar. Gin & whiskey have a half-life of about 5 minutes tho.
@Brunhilde Yeah - I don't get this 'leftover' booze. Hick!!
"And so you just finished off the bottle?"
"Well, I had to. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened."
50% the bottle of weird botanical booze that has been sitting untouched on our liquor cabinet for over a year
50% sweater that is itchy and slightly shrunken from the wash but is too cute to get rid of, although I have worn it once in four years. There is a fox on it!
Why would I throw away my period underwear when I would just immediate ruin more pairs, though?
Adorable toddler clothes that are now 3/4 length because these kids have grown like weeds but that t-shirt is so cuuuuuuuute.
@iceberg A large tupperware bin full of NB/0-3 month clothes that it will cost more to store than to simply give away and re-purchase, but I just can't.
@Ophelia Yes, add to that the bassinet, swing, vibrating chair, first crib (because we bought a "mini" crib not realizing how wonderful it is to keep the little darling in nighttime baby jail as long as you can), and bucket car seats (2) plus bases (4) that we don't use for our toddler. We are not entirely completely decided on the not-having-any-more kids front, and what if something happens and I have to re-purchase all that? No way; we bought a shed.
I recently cleaned my apartment beyond the cursory "drag a Swiffer around for a few minutes." Turns out I have 26 travel size containers. Turns out I am willing to throw away exactly 0 of those.
30% books I read once and liked, but probably won't read again
20% home items that worked in previous apartments but not in this one, but maybe in the next one?
20% backup hard drive from my college computer, which might be infected with the virus that killed that computer, I'm too scared to check
15% hat that makes me feel like Stevie Nicks but blows off my head really easily
10% old-ass Nokia brick phone with SIM card & 220v charger (in case I ever decide to Live Internationally again)
5% every kind of stomach ailment remedy available at CVS. Most are still unexpired, even!
But holey period underwear is useful once every month...
@fabel I think I've finally stopped having my period 6 months after getting my IUD, but I don't know for sure, it could come back at any time. I'm being held hostage.
@fabel People don't wear holey underwear most every day? Just me??? (LOL - just peeked in my drawers, and was met with a sight of a field of white broken elastic waving over a holey, navy blue cotton backdrop. BUT they still work as a chafe prevent garment. I guess?)
@fabel I wear all the holey, stained underwear all of the time. Its the pretty stuff than never gets worn - mostly because its all nylon and who needs avoidable yeast infections?
I STILL HAVE A CD BINDER. AND CDS. NO I WILL NOT PART WITH THEM. They're still good, just rip 'em and put it on your mp3 player.
@Megasus Me too!!!
@Megasus Yeah, I still listen to CDs quite a bit, and I have a CD binder in my car. (I have broken two MP3 players beyond repair. I have never broken a CD player.) Sometimes I even buy NEW CDs.
And, well, what am I supposed to do with my CDs after I rip them? Throw them away? I've had some of these for seventeen years! And what about my angsty mix CDs from college? Those are carefully crafted representations of my DEEPLY SIGNIFICANT innermost feelings, conveyed by popular song!
@she came in through the bathroom window
I still buy CDs too! What do these people do in cars that don't have the latest in stereo technology?
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Yes, thank you! It was just a few months ago that I got a car with a CD player and a jack to plug in an MP3 player (which I don't have, because I broke it). My old car had a broken tape deck and radio.
Really, are you supposed to download the album and then burn it to a CD yourself? Because that sounds like a waste of time, and I would rather have a pretty CD that comes with a little booklet.
25% ancient electronic equipment that still works against all odds
25% sheets for different bed size than the current one
25% marked up printouts of shit I wrote for my MFA that I might get around to revising someday
25% school books and things that I don't need anymore (floppy disks! a blank MiniDisc that I had been saving for a friend who planned on transferring into my major! three boxes of DVD-Rs with different footage from my second-year film project!)
25% chocolates that I didn't eat fast enough and that might not be good anymore
15% I still have those shoes? Why?
5% Newspaper clippings and hockey paraphernalia that are going to go into a scrapbook, someday, maybe
5% sports T-shirts that I don't want anymore
25% impulse purchases
I somehow managed to get through life with only one CD binder that I never used until I had to find some way of transporting a couple dozen DVDs across an ocean. Now I have two binders and Opinions on which is best.
Also 50% notes from college classes I will never need again. Do I really need notes for my Spanish 1010 final exam? Or that one English class that I'm fairly convinced the department made up solely to fulfill the university's 'look, our graduates know how to turn on a computer!' requirement and basically consisted of me creating a webpage on W B Yeats? No. Have I thrown them away yet? No. I might need them yet.
(Though I definitely need my notes from my Yeats and the occult class, right?)
College t-shirts,"unisex large" (it was the 90s)
BPA-ful travel mugs
Condiment packets ("For picnics!")
Unflattering fuschia lip gloss ("I will make it a thing")
Floppy disks & grad school papers (paper-papers)
13-year-old, ill-fitting suit ("For a job interview. Before 9/11.")
Hair removal devices and kits ("I will totally epilate/wax at home and save moneeeeeey." Not.)
Frilly stationery I will never send to anyone even in thank you note panic, because then they will think that's my style, and give me more of it, and I will have to send a thank you note on it, THE CYCLE NEVER ENDS
@matilda wormwood and perfume I can't stand anymore. because what if I throw it away and it breaks while in the trash and my kitchen smells like that foreverrrr?
@matilda wormwood All of the t-shirts ever, even the concert ones from the '80s and '90s that were only sold in large sizes back then and make me look like a child wearing my dad's shirt...
50% "I could use this for a costume."
50% "There could be a catastrophe and I will be grateful to eat this."
@redridinghoodrat Guilty as hell of the first one!
emy roomate's sister-in-law makes $60 every hour on the internet. She has been out of a job for nine months but last month her pay was $17511 just working on the internet for a few hours. Going Here ...www.max38.com
If you're going to do root-beer liquor: http://www.artintheage.com/spirits-landing/root
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