Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Let's Play a Little Game Called "Bad Tab, Good Tab"

Exhibit A, by Emily Yoffe at Guess Where: 

Exhibit B, by Ann Friedman:

Which tab will you open today?

54 Comments / Post A Comment

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Slate is already a troll site, with shit like, "Slate Pitches: Breathing is Actually Bad for You!" and Emily Yoffe gives horrifying advice as Dear Prudence on a regular basis, but this is beyond. There is a way to talk about eliminating risk factors - blacking out is not healthy for your body, regardless of your gender - but telling women they need to stop being drunk so eventually it will trickle down to the men? Fuck off, Yoffe.


@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Yeah, given her track record, this must be earnest on her part, not trolling. "Fuck off!" was my instant reaction as well. Take your idiotic puns, your victim-blaming, your slut-shaming and your tone deaf advice and fuck off on outta here, Prudie.


I love this so different so refreshing@t


I checked Slate (LIKE A FOOL) when I got into work this morning, saw that headline, and decided to quit everything: my job, society, the planet.


You gotta pay the troll toll.


Tangent: Who read the Atlantic article about wine-drinking? Thoughts?


@enic the one that was like "we drink for relief from perfectionism"? i read the hed, thought "YEP THAT SEEMS ACCURATE" but didn't open tab. should i


@j-i-a It implied that that kind of drinking is alcoholism, so no.


@DullHypothesis haha GOOD i figured as much. i do a lot of things for relief from a lot of things and i feel like it's all good


@enic Did someone already post a link to that? I can't find it from search on The Atlantic??


@Lesliepop http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/10/alcohol-as-escape-from-perfectionism/280482/


@j-i-a yeah, i was like OMIGAWD I DO DRINK A GLASS OF WINE AS A WAY TO ESCAPE MY PERFECTIONIST MIND WHEN I GET HOME AM I DEPENDENT. And then i was like a) one glass b) not always c) wouldn't not drinking at all and only drinking green tea be an even greater expression of perfectionist tendencies?

also, the lady who was like "i drink three glasses of wine every night and then i wake up in the morning groggy and go for a run." no shit you're groggy in the morning (presumably she's only sleeping like 5 1/2 hours a night), welcome to Life (0 drinks + 8.5 hours of sleep = i am still groggy in the morning because, ugh, it's time to get out of bed).


@j-i-a Cannot give this enough thumbs up. Listen, a couple of glasses of wine a night relaxes you and makes you happy? That is awesome. Life is hard! We have to do things to make it enjoyable. Enjoyment and relaxation are so looked down upon in this country!


Is "perfectionism" a diagnosis adequate for a med marijuana card? If not, YOU GOT A BETTER PLAN, ATLANTIC?

Elitist and Dull

@enic Just skimmed it. All I want now is some wine. Of course, my perfectionism is limited to things like "not good enough at having a bottle of wine on hand" and "should be drinking this out of a Beaujolais glass but I don't have any."

a Widebrant

I chose... poorly.

And had to write an angry email when I got home from work today.


Motherfcker! I got so mad when I read that that I had to look up photos of puppies to bring myself down. Drinking causes rape? How about assholes who should be publicly shamed? Don't they play a part in it?






@j-i-a That puppy looks like she's had a few too many. Why doesn't she realize that she's basically ASKING FOR IT??


@FlufferNutter SLUT PUPPY



@j-i-a yeeeeeeeEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!

Eyre Apparent

@j-i-a I nearly cried awwing at the drunk puppy and then nearly hyperventilated laughing at the Slut Puppy and I think I really needed that today. So, thanks.


@j-i-a Thank you for pointing out the tongue! I missed it the first time I looked and I am so, so glad I saw it.


@Jinxie i came back to this page just to look at the tongue some more


Emily Effing Yoffe. I'd like to invite her to go eat an entire bag of dicks.

(And no, I haven't read her article, nor will I.)


@stonefruit You know, I clicked on her article, because I hate myself I guess, and I got the Hairpin "Oops! Something went wrong!" screen and I thought..."yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and take advantage of this second chance and not read it".


@katiemcgillicuddy I get that error message on everything I click on here lately. Curious.


Oh my God OF COURSE Emily Yoffe wrote Exhibit A. Where's that "flames on the side of my face" gif when you need it?

Lily Rowan



@Lily Rowan THANK you.


I was JUST coming in here to ask someone to post this. Thank you for your powers of precognition.


@supernintendochalmers I sent that gif to my fiance when I showed him the article. Just...ugh, nope.

vine fruit

@Lily Rowan This has never been more appropriate.

Heather Thompson@facebook

I'm surprised Prudie doesn't suggest that ladies carry a cute card in their party clutch where they can mark down the amount of drinks they've had throughout the night.
Partying people tend to drink to get drunk, not to black out, but when I started college I had NO fucking idea how little alcohol it took to go from dancy to barfy to passed out-in my day it was much easier as a high schooler to get pot than alcohol and I just hadn't had any experience with drinking-most girls didn't. It's absurd to expect young people to drink responsibly when hot young people have been partying their asses off since the time of Homer.
The only thing that will stop rape culture is serious consequences for the perpetrator. Period.


As much as I hated that Prudie piece of garbage, I am PRETTY into the good tab/bad tab game. I hope it's back!

Elitist and Dull

The MRAs are all over Twitter today, talking about the danger of false accusations ruining bright futures and HOW DARE WOMEN GET SO DRUNK they don't REMEMBER TOTALLY CONSENTING and so they CRY RAPE!

And all I can think is, Prudie, if your deepest fear is your son getting accused of rape, tell HIM to stay away from booze and not to have sex with anyone he's known less than a year. Tell HIM to take some accountability. But she can't and she won't and it'll all be the same tomorrow, all just-world this and answering-fake-advice-letters that.

And, I seem to recall, Emily Yoffe was assaulted a few times in her own childhood. Which just makes it even more screwed up that she'd be down with this sort of victim-blaming and perp-absolving.

Elitist and Dull

@Elitist and Dull Oh, Ann's rebuttal, which I did actually read all the way through, is incredible.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Elitist and Dull Ugh. THAT is my number-one aggravation about all this - is that if we want to tell women to do anything to prevent rapes (specifically ones where the victims are female, I guess) it's that everyone, male or female, needs to take a more active role in stopping potential aggressors. Kind of a "If you see something, say something" sort of idea. If everyone can learn to give victims help when they need it, and cause hell for aggressors when/as needed, and do anything to help someone get out of a dangerous situation, then maybe our culture will change.

Slanted & Enchanted

@Elitist and Dull Word. I have a couple male friends who complain about false rape accusations, and my response is always - if men are really as scared as you claim, why hasn't their behavior changed? Why is it only women, not men, who are encouraged to stay with their group, to look out for each other, to step in when she fears her friend is in danger? And men SHOULD be held to the same standard as women. Instead of being maligned as a "cock block," friends who step in and prevent their drunk friend, man or woman, from leaving with someone they just met should be applauded. And until I see a bro stop another bro to tell him "dude, you're too drunk, she's too drunk, just get her number and let her leave with her friends," then I won't believe that men are actually as terrified of craaaaazy women as MRAs claim they are.

What also kills me about Yoffe's article is that no one is reluctant to tell women to stop getting drunk. NO ONE. That is, inevitably, the first thing brought up whenever assault happens. Her entire article is based on a false premise.


@Slanted & Enchanted Right, how many pieces have we read on this same subject in the past five years? Maybe not the assault angle, but there's definitely been plenty of shaming college women for drinking and partying too much.


The thing that pisses me off is that this woman has children (including a boy). She is the very picture of rape culture and I have very little hope for anything that popped out of her disgusting body.


@Don'tcallmeJenny I vehemently disagree with her, but insulting her body because you think her opinions are disgusting is uncalled for.


@MoxyCrimeFighter I didn't mean her actual body, I mean more the fact that her soul is so black and ugly that her physical self is disgusting. I honestly neither know nor care what this woman looks like and I do not think anyone should be judged on their physical appearance.


I would like to thank this post for enabling me to choose the correct tab. I loved Tab B. As for Tab A I'm trying to stay away from articles that will piss me b/c I inevitably read the comments as well and end up attempting to poke out my eyes since I can't punch anyone.


Hahahaha but wimmins are the SEXUAL GATEKEEPERS, they have to keep their faculties in check at all times because men just can't help themselves!

Elitist and Dull

@Megasus That's why the Good Lord made us taller and more muscular, on average! ...Oh, wait.


When I was a kid my dad told my younger brother (who was like 8 at the time) he couldn't ever hit a woman, not even his sisters. He he was very clear that there would never be a gray area where it would be okay to hit a woman. He was a dude, he would likely be stronger than any female, and it would be *his* responsibility to control his actions, even when angry, and not hit a woman, even if provoked. You know what I'm certain my brother has never done since that conversation? Hit a woman. Not even his sisters.

This is the same damn thing. Unless the person has explicitly said yes, and yes, you need to ask, then you don't get to do anything. No matter how drunk she is.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Boys will be what you teach them to be.


@ATF@twitter On your last point, it kills me that our anti-rape message is "'No' means 'No'" when it SHOULD be "Everything but 'YES!!' Means 'NO.'" And really, that's not just for sexual encounters, but ANY touching. Especially when it comes to women and girls, the assumption is "If I like X about her, I can just go touch that thing," even for strangers! People march right up to a pregnant lady and put their hands on her belly. If someone likes your hair or your jacket, they'll PET it, or (this has happened to me) pull one of your curls so it springs back for their enjoyment. I AM NOT A SLINKY; KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS TO YOURSELF. (You might sense I get very confrontational about this.)


What blows my mind about this is that with any other crime, justice is still sought for the victim regardless of their actions leading up to the crime (with unfortunate differences in the intensity of the investigation due to factors of race, income, etc, but let's put that aside for the moment).

If I get murdered, the police will investigate, even if I was walking in a bad neighbourhood after dark. If someone robs my house, the police will still investigate, even if I left my door unlocked. If someone empties my bank account, the police will still investigate, even if I gave my debit card number to a shady Craigslist poster. So why the fuck would the police not investigate a rape even if the victim was drunk? There are certainly things you can do to guard your safety, and not getting blackout drunk is one of them, but it doesn't matter if I never leave my house after dark, or lock all my doors, or never give out my debit card number - sometimes shit still happens and every victim deserves the same consideration.


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Yoffe just posted a rebuttal to her critics. It is as terrible as the first article.


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