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Friday, September 20, 2013

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What's the Best Song to Have Sex To?

Aside from "Yakety Sax," what do we think? Music used to be just as much a sex prerequisite for me as finding a partner with a nice ol' dickhole, but lately I've been working more with either "deathly silence" or "the sound of my dog eating something she found in my backpack in the other room," and that's a real shame. Music and sex are a great combination, perhaps the best combination, but it's tricky: if you don't feel like being super intimate but all of a sudden the Rhye album is on, there's not too much you can do.

There are some safe bets here, I think. The Frank Ocean/Miguel/D'Angelo realm is a good one. I've favored the XX and their ilk before, even some Explosions in the Sky stuff when the heart was particularly full. In the indie-rock and electro regions, these songs by Sir Sly and Until the Ribbon Breaks are immediately sex-suggestive to me. What about you? People out there who hate R&B but love sex: what do you couple to?



85 Comments / Post A Comment

mayonegg

"Heartbeats" by The Knife is a good foreplay/dry hump song, imho

mayonegg

@mayonegg PS I swear I am not 16

j-i-a

@mayonegg the jose gonzalez version too!

mayonegg

@j-i-a I feel like that's almost *too deep* for me--like buddy, we're not getting married after this!

planforamiracle

@mayonegg agreed. I would cry, which is at times inappropriate..

stavros

i really really love this song !!!@m

noodge

all this talk about sexy songs this morning is derailing my already derailed Friday. 5% friday? more like 0.5% Friday.

blueberry mary

Brb, immediately putting "nice ol' dickhole" somewhere on my OkCupid profile.

hallelujah

I recall some awesome (albeit frenzied) times to Animal Collective in college. Nowadays there is zero soundtrack so we can hear the baby if he wakes up *strangled sob*

swirrlygrrl

I feel like we had this conversation once a while back? I guess it was makeuout music, but it was on that singles yoga thread.

Anyways, I am not a sex with music kind of person. Last time music was playing I had to turn it off because it was distracting and I couldn't come (this has happened before). Maybe just more stuff without lyrics...ambient pulsing but low key sound of some kind. But definitely nothing I like enough to want to sing or hum along to.

meetapossum

@swirrlygrrl Yeah, I have a hard time having sex to music I really like because I just end up singing along.

glitterary

@swirrlygrrl Same here! Music is super distracting. If it's quiet, you've got nothing to focus on but the feelings and each other (and sex sounds, which with a few exceptions are way hotter than any music could be anyway).

OhMarie

@swirrlygrrl Me either, but I've recently come around to having music playing in an adjacent room. It's easy in my place because the computer and speakers are in the room right next to the bedroom. The entire recent Justin Timberlake album worked well for this recently--I don't know if I'd actually want to hear him singing, but his beats through the wall were nice!

Briony Fields

@swirrlygrrl Oh yes, Smiley's makeout playlist. I remember it fondly! I scored big while listening to that playlist. Thank you, Smiley!

does it need saying

@swirrlygrrl I feel like this is the place to say that the Mad Violinist's version of Love Faces was a revelation and now I need more songs just like it. No Lyrics with a violin as the voice? Yes please.

Onymous

I really feel like Lovage: Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By should be on one of these lists. I'm just not sure which.

Cristina Galie@facebook

Every time I try to write out a serious answer, I'm forced to retract and consider how weird I probably sound *backspace backspace backspace*

nic'kalmus@twitter

Washed Out's album Within and Without is always a winner.

j-i-a

@nic'kalmus@twitter washed out is a great call

nic'kalmus@twitter

@j-i-a I mean, the cover is naked people making out on a bed.

Bittersweet

From the Old People Desk: it's all about the Cocteau Twins, often with dog-whining-and-scratching-at-the-bedroom-door accompaniment.

leonstj

i have a theory that it's Bombs over Baghdad, but let's be real, how many of us are even up to that challenge?

leonstj

@leonstj - i made a mixtape when i was just starting out w/ prince's "darling nikki", "spottieottiedopalicious", pfunk's "flashlight", cissy strut, "you dropped a bomb on me", and "superfly" & other super-funky classics.

in addition to being the equivalent of trying to play a tee-ball game being at yankees stadium, it was definitely WAAAAAAAAY too long.

Lush Life

@leonstj I came in here to say that Prince is excellent for sexytimes.

Creature Cheeseman

@leonstj With that playlist you could easily be any of the guys I went to high school with.

silverscreen

@leonstj Funk music tho <3 <3 <3

Emby

George Strait's "Easy Come, Easy Go"

master debater

the Weeknd's Trilogy album every damn time.

Jennifer Culp

I'm a big fan of Queens of the Stone Age.

fabel

aw what is it about adulthood sex (as opposed to high school/college-ish) sex that makes you have it in deathly silence? That too has been my background for far too long, & this post made me remember the time in my dorm when everyone walked in on me doin' it to "ridin' dirty" by chamillionaire. GOOD TIMES

Er, but anyway. I wouldn't actually suggest "ridin' dirty" as a good song to have sex to, although it is very amusing to anyone happening to walk in on you. Here are actual good songs:

Earth Linger - Portishead (one of the Numb remixes)

UmMMMm struggling to remember more, but that's all I got. Closer by NIN is too clichè, right?

swirrlygrrl

@fabel I think the availability of enough space so that you aren't subjecting other people to your sex sounds is part of it. Music was half mood, half cover in my younger days.

leonstj

@fabel i feel like anybody who came of age in the late 90s will ALWAYS be able to embrace some portishead good times.

capturethecastle

lol right though with that Rhye album? came on shuffle during my morning commute and I damn near coulda written that cosmo.com article from yesterday but as a success story.

heh. friday morninggg!

leonstj

@capturethecastle if you like the rhye album i would also recommend the autre ne veut & jessie ware 2012 vintages.

nic'kalmus@twitter

@leonstj Jessie Ware yep

Briony Fields

@capturethecastle Rhye, damn. Just thinking about it gives me the vapors.

yourfaceisa

@capturethecastle oh man, because of this thread, i've got the rhye album on my headphones in my office, and it is getting all seductive in here.

sunflowers

@yourfaceisa Seriously. I saw this headline and was like, oh, okay, Rhye, there's my answer, and suddenly it was already there.

planforamiracle

@capturethecastle bookmarking this. I prefer sexytimes with music I'm not TOO familiar with, so it's nice to have reco's for new-to-me things.

TheMnemosyne

Massive Attack's "Mezzanine". The entire album. That and a couple glasses of plum wine and LOOK OUT LADIES AND GENTS

j-i-a

@TheMnemosyne massive attack yes

lora.bee

I have had really sensitive sex to Sigur Ros and it was actually almost too much.

The Ballad of Curtis Loew by Lynyrd Skynyrd really did it for me, one time? I don't know what this says about me.

realtalk

@lora.bee my current partner and I have really intensely emotional sex, and we're big sigur ros/explosions in the sky fans. lyrics are a no-go for sure for me, though, because nothing is worse than feeling the urge to sing along...

whizz_dumb

@realtalk Almost positive you two^^ would like almost every Do Make Say Think album. "& Yet & Yet" is a good place to start.

greentypewriters

Y'all, one time I had sex to 'Papa Was a Rodeo' by the Magnetic Fields, and that was a pretty poor decision.

yourfaceisa

@greentypewriters i love this. i'm sorry i haven't had this experience.

foxbat91

Beast of Burden, Rolling Stones. No contest.

capturethecastle

@foxbat91 this song is just the best soundtrack to any activity.

sunflowers

I actually really like Omni, by Minus the Bear. Not sure if that's just because I was listening to it a lot on one of my longer visits with my (then) long-distance boyfriend, but just the start of "My Time" is rather exciting.

elissa_what?

Lil' Kim "Hardcore." On loop.

capturethecastle

@elissa_what? Yes!!!! but I might laugh too much during the line "Got buffoons eating my pussy while I watch cartoons"

elissa_what?

@elissa_what? Just keep a straight face and fist pump. I like that basically the entire album is about how crucial cunnilingus is...

hands_down

Air or Boards of Canada.

honey cowl

No no nooooooo no! Why do you people listen to music while you have sex??!!!? WHY?

elissa_what?

@honey cowl why not?

districter

I fell out of this habit after living in dorms, but I used to basically only have sex to Interstate 8 by Modest Mouse.

dona_rodolpha

Chet Faker -- 'Love & Feeling' and 'I'm Into You.'

ba-na-nas

My Bloody Valentine. I am from the past.

silverscreen

@ba-na-nas I'm with you.

Tafadhali

I don't think I have ever had any sort of sex while listening to any sort of music unless you count that one disastrous time I almost got to third base in a nightclub. Given the time period, I'm going to guess the song was "Not Fair" by Lily Allen, but that's mostly because that would be much, much funnier than it being Lady Gaga.

Tafadhali

@Tafadhali Of course recent playlists I've made have been "Sad Music," "Sad Broadway," "Music to Dissertation To," "Everything is the Worst," "Bedtime Tunes," and "Barenaked for Bedtime" (obviously an all Barenaked Ladies bedtime playlist), so that tells you something about my life and the role of sex music in it.

Roxanne Rholes

Unacceptable: while I was going down on him, his computer (on shuffle) started playing a song by his band. NOPE.

planforamiracle

I prefer songs that I don't know well—otherwise I get too wrapped up in listening to the music because I like to really pay attention to music while I listen. So Songza playlists are my new fave way of doing this.. something downtempo but electronic-y, like, Boards of Canada or any kind of trip-hop as long as it's not too sad (so that rules out Glory Box by Portishead.) Washed Out is a great choice, but you need a long mix because their albums/EPs are all so short.
I have in the past dated guys who are way more into music than me, so I let them put music on.. but then it leads to me forever associating certain (really good) music with dudes whose memories make me wistful.
Frank Ocean is good for sexy-times but for reasons stated above, I will never have sex to it again. Like one of the commenters above, I've had really emotional sex with music that matched (I think it was either Twin Sister or Yo La Tengo) and it was definitely almost too much. But I like really FEELING my emotions so I didn't mind.. once in a while it's nice.

Alli525

Well I used to love "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer until my best friend yelled at me and told me to LISTEN TO THE LYRICS YOU MORON. So, if someone could please give me an instrumental-only version of the song... or re-write it... I would be much obliged.

I am also a huge fan of Bis' "Detour." Very sexy in a weird sort of way.

I used to make love (yes you heard me) to my college boyfriend to Josh Groban, though, so my taste in music may not be the best gauge.

HoliandIvy

"Bela Lugosi's Dead"
That hasn't changed for decades now.

Lush Life

Portishead: Sour Times. Actually, the entire Dummy album.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Lush Life
Haha, too dark perhaps?

Funny, because I would suggest anything by Billy Strayhorn.

Amphora

T. Rex.

silverscreen

@Amphora Yessss T-Rextasy

itwon'tdo

Caramel by Suzanne Vega!

astrangerinthealps

Theresa's Sound World by Sonic Youth. I'm sorry, but that's the sound of sitting on a geyser.

For a completely different sexytime experience, Hotel Room by Richard Hawley is also very nice.

Etruscan Duck

Love Reign O'er Me

iceberg

Another voice for Portishead, although I think putting music on in order to have sex feels kind of forced? But my soundtrack these days is white noise and occasional coughing from the baby monitor, sooooo...

damnfine

Again for Portishead, and along similar lines, Mazzy Star's latest was discovered to be rather fine for such a purpose last night.

BradNelson

People out there who hate R&B but love sex 100 percent sure these people don't exist but if they do they're evidence of the undead

when employing an r&b/soul record i've found it's important that it lacks any gospel-leaning track because otherwise jesus is all of a sudden hanging out in the bedroom in his spectral manner. i experienced this acutely with al green's call me which is otherwise an unparalleled sex record, tender and ecstatic, but the final track is "jesus is waiting," and you find yourself asking "omg where"

it's a cliché to have sex to sade but few bands provide such an unbroken atmosphere, like a cave, but a finely chilled cave in some arctic tomorrow. sort of related: maxwell albums, in particular now.

the first side of the isley brothers' between the sheets but perhaps distracting for how widely sampled it is in hip-hop. second side gets actively social and is a bummer.

i mean absolutely every artist namechecked in "slow jamz" is meaningfully there. ready for the world's "love you down" is an institution. generally fake prince is more sex-oriented than real prince because prince is, like, too horny, and too recognizable and strong a personality, and tends toward the absurd when supporting any actual intimacy, and tends toward the absurd even without intimacy. the lesson here is don't accidentally let your girlfriend's parents know that you can rap "gett off" from memory.

generally anything too wrapped up in its own rhythms won't relate. so brown sugar, not voodoo.

hella have sex to anita baker.

trembles

My household doesn't really listen to a lot of music? Mr. Trembles listens to music at work and I listen to music when I work out ... but I rarely listen to it much anymore (as opposed to when I was a senior in high school/college freshman who thought music was the trick to getting laid but, its not, being attractive is).

THOUGH we one time did get down while watching The White Stripes Blackpool Lights and that was incredible. The lighting from the laptop screen really added to it.

We sometimes lay in bed and listen to the cure like big gross 90s teens and make out but thats too sappy.

jenifermail

Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A great read. Medical Nurse

jenifermail

Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A great read. Medical Nurse

heeyitshannahhxx

Led Zeppelin IV. Definitely.

ngocngoc15

I actually really like Omni, by Minus the Bear. Not sure if that's just because I was listening to it a lot on one of my longer visits with my (then) long-distance boyfriend, but just the start of "My Time" is rather exciting.

Sasha Grey

waptrick music
It's so true. Music and sex are a great combination. In my case i love hot music while doing sex. But from my GF's side she loves to have soft music while doing sex lol. But sex is really much enjoyable along with music. Specially Beats.

kristenfli

I am not sure if I am doing this right but, the best song for me is Gravity by John Meyer. - BannersBroker

mikealbert

Thank you for sharing this wonderful article! I have never seen anything like that before so I really appreciate that. Friendship day sms

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