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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

54

Today's Bleak Read

Reuters investigates "America's underground market for adopted children":

Another parent advertised a child days after bringing her to America. "We adopted an 8-year-old girl from China... Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days." The parent asked that others share the ad "with anyone you think may be interested."

Reuters analyzed 5,029 posts from a five-year period on one Internet message board, a Yahoo group. On average, a child was advertised for re-homing there once a week. Most of the children ranged in age from 6 to 14 and had been adopted from abroad – from countries such as Russia and China, Ethiopia and Ukraine. The youngest was 10 months old.

[Reuters]

54 Comments / Post A Comment

HMSBeagle

Oh. my god. "The parents who were giving up the boy told Exon that the 4--year-old's feet were too big and his ear's looked funny". I think I need a solid week to recover from that statement.

HMSBeagle

@HMSBeagle Oh wait, it gets worse.

sarena

My Uncle Aaron just got a 2013 Mitsubishi Lancer just by some parttime working online with a macbook. you can look here jobs61.com

alannaofdoom

@sarena My uncle got a KID. Your uncle is not working hard enough.

ColdFinger

@HMSBeagle wait, but weren't they being baited?

beams!

This is one of the worst things I've read in a while but hopefully it'll change some laws and make a difference for these kids.

Also I didn't know how little training was required to adopt internationally. 10 hours?! That's nothing.

Li'l Sebastian

If anyone needs a positive counterpoint to this story, I highly recommend checking out the Gazillion Voices Project, which is run by and for adults who were adopted as children. http://gazillionvoices.com/

Emma Carmichael

@Li'l Sebastian Thanks!

Lu2
Lu2

And there's a lot of work that I know of that's being done by adult adoptees from Korea on the topic of unethical international adoption. Jane Jeong Trenka is probably the best-known writer, but I've learned a lot just from reading stories of a lot of people. Certain American agencies over there are now infamous for having classified kids as orphans when they were not, changing their identities and lying to the adoptive parents, and deceiving the biological parents (single mothers, especially) that they were not sending their kids away permanently, for example.

Lu2
Lu2

@Lu2 I guess what I'm saying is that when you add the international factor in, it means another layer to the lack of accountability for the perpetrators.

squishycat

@Lu2 I can't remember the names, but I read an article about a family who adopted a young girl from Guatemala (?), who then discovered through, you know, talking to their daughter, that she was not, in fact, an orphan, as they had been told, nor even a ward of the state whose parents had had their rights legitimately terminated, and went through the effort of finding her family and reuniting them (I think as of the writing of the article, she was still living with the US family officially, but visiting Guatemala regularly?)

DDay

@squishycat I think this might be the article: http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2007/10/did-i-steal-my-daughter-tribulations-global-adoption

Lu2
Lu2

@squishycat Yes, there was a similar case recently in the news about a boy who was 7 when adopted to the US. Once he could speak English, he told his adoptive parents that he had a father in Korea, and he kept saying that all through his teenage years while they worked to figure out what happened. Also, the person who surrendered him to the orphanage, the father's GF, lied about his last name to them, but the adoption agency ignored the boy's protest and took the GF's word for it. And here's another article I just found while I was looking unsuccessfully for that story: http://38north.org/2012/09/chong091912/

Heat Signature

Hey, it turns out that not doing background checks or vetting the people who are taking these kids doesn't ensure the safety or well-being of the children! No shit, you fucking moron.

Urwelt

@Heat Signature I'm just astounded that these people giving up the kids they adopted could be so... stupid? Naive? Arrogant? You already weren't qualified (or willing?) to care for the child, so now you think you're qualified to find them a new home yourself? I have to wonder how many of these people don't go through the authorities because they're ashamed that their good deed didn't turn out right and wanted to get rid of the problem quickly.

And oh my god, the people who didn't want to go through official channels because they didn't want to have to pay child support...

laurel

@Urwelt Stupid people don't know they're stupid.

EnginerdsLoveMath

@Heat Signature this is my biggest problem - I can understand people lacking the tools/support to deal with severely disturbed children, but to then turn around and just dump them off to strangers? And the whole "I don't want to have to pay child support" ugh, really?!?! You agreed to adopt a child, that means to support them until adulthood. The interview with one of the kids, Anna, is heartbreaking. Um yah, she's been abandonned multiple times, and so these behavioural problems shouldn't exactly be a surprise.

daisicles

@EnginerdsLoveMath Yes, the child support thing, Jesus. You don't want to give up your deeply troubled child to the state just because you'd then have to pay support? COME ON.

I will never understand how people can let the prospect of paying child support influence their decisions so much. You decided to have a kid! (And if you adopted a child, you put forth a whole lot of conscious effort to do so.) You have to support that kid! This is how it works! Even if you find yourself needing to give the child to someone better equipped to handle their particular needs, that doesn't mean you get to go on your merry way.

supernovice

Ugh, I've seen this happen in real life. My aunt and uncle foster a kid that was adopted at age 8 from a Ugandan orphanage. Some 'Christian' family brought him back to North America, realized he wasn't a puppy, and promptly put him into foster care. People can be kind of appalling sometimes.

Story #2

@supernovice I feel like maybe the Hairpin linked to this in the past, but: http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/04/christian-evangelical-adoption-liberia

Scandyhoovian

Oh my god. People can be so stupid and so awful.

Scandyhoovian

Wait coming back to add this because FLAMES ON MY FACE:

"(She) is very bright, can be sweet, kind, generous. Is also a spoiled brat big time, vindictive and mean when you say no.… I think she is salvageable…"

SO PARENT HER. THAT IS YOUR JOB. AAAUGHHHH

E
E

AUGH! People who DUMP THEIR CHILDREN like they are unwanted puppies should be on the same kind of registry as sex offenders. "Oh ma'am I see you left your adopted child at a rest stop with a mentally unwell woman who collects children, and you found her online through a yahoo chat group? Oh well then, I'm afraid I can't rent this house/give you this job/let you volunteer here. Also shame on you ma'am."

barefoot cuntessa

@E I haven't even brought myself to read the article because all those quotes in the comments are SO HORRIBLE.

All of this makes me extra sad for my sister and brother-in-law who have had such trouble adopting. My BIL is in the military and his deployments essentially make adoption impossible because of the home visits that are needed to be approved.

Heat Signature

@E YES YES YES AND YES

E
E

Jesus, ""This is a bad analogy, but it's sort of like selling a used car," Gary Barnes says of why he and his wife weren't told more. "If you tell someone it breaks down every day, nobody's going to buy it.""

A CAR IS NOT A CHILD. A CHILD IS NOT AN OBJECT.

peasofmind

@E

Right?? GUYS, ISN'T THIS HUMAN TRAFFICKING?! Just with children to adopt and discard instead of sex workers and slave laborers? This has to count as human trafficking . . . right?

Mira

This is one of the worst things I've ever read.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Mira I was nauseous pretty much the whole time.

TheBelleWitch

Holy God. "Posting for a friend," a North Carolina woman wrote in June. "8 Year old Guatemalan female Resides in North Carolina with her family Adopted at 8 months into current family…"

She's been their child for 7 years! HOW.

Loose Seal

@TheBelleWitch I could not wrap my little mind around this. How could you send YOUR child to live with STRANGERS??? I can't imagine the type of person who would seriously consider this.

squishycat

@TheBelleWitch oh my god what

Since she was 8 month old

8 YEARS old

How

What

How

peculiarity

"Re-home?" They call it "re-homing?" You do not "re-home" a human being. You "re-home" a dog that does not fit well with your lifestyle. We're talking about fucking children.

Sick. I hate humanity.

Blushingflwr

@peculiarity well, considering that many of these families seem to treat the kids the same way they'd treat a dog, maybe it is appropriate.

Mira

@Blushingflwr It wouldn't even occur to me to treat my dog the way these people treat their kids. :(

Loose Seal

@peculiarity I just hate that they came up with a cutesy euphemism for all of this. It's not "re-homing"... it's fucking cruelly ABANDONING A CHILD.

commanderbanana

It's interesting what we do and don't regulate in this country. Shows where our collective priorities are, I guess.

The correct term is babes, sir

@commanderbanana Seriously. So Calvin Eason was arrested and got 20 months probation for stealing a rental car, but no one in this story gets charged with child endangerment, trafficking, kidnapping, or neglect? I just don't know what to do with this information in this article.

rfpgh

I've read things that were more enraging or distressing than this article but I can't remember the last time I read something that was just so mind-boggling and disorienting. Driving across the country to give your child to someone you traded messages with on a Yahoo! group. Impossible to understand the thought process here.

Emmylou Who

@rfpgh Mind-boggling and disoienting are perfect descriptions for how I feel reading this. I also can't believe that these people are SO unashamed of their behavior that they agree to be interviewed and photographed for an article. Like, every single one of these people would do the same thing all over again, they have no remorse for their actions or have realized in hindsight how extremely messed up it all was/is.

sarrible

I cannot believe none of these people are in jail. What the actual FUCK.

cabber

I can't even. I mean, really? I work in a child-welfare-related field and have 100% worked with people as delusional as Nicole Eason. People who would tell me straight up that they still parent their children when I TESTIFIED at their termination of parental rights hearings. It's incredibly scary that the internet/lack of any type of regulation/laws/consequences come together in this perfect storm that will more than likely perpetuate a cycle of abuse as these poor children grow up.

I am depressed and will now go and eat all of the coconut mojito popsicles in my freezer. Then I will get a good night's sleep and come to work tomorrow to continue to try to make the world a little bit better for the kids and families I work with.

Heat Signature

@cabber I like the cut of your jib (whatever a jib might be).

Lu2
Lu2

@Heat Signature jib sail, I think. So you can use the expression on Talk Like a Pirate Day, probably.

Ophelia

I actually don't think I can read this article at all. BRB, need to go hold my daughter.

ColdFinger

Hey, thank you so much for posting this! Adoption is so complicated. And so politicized. And hearbreaking. And really makes me want to do some very in-depth reporting on the different sides of how this happens.

ColdFinger

@ColdFinger Well. Obviously needing to be adopted - and being mistreated - are the heartbreaking parts...

ColdFinger

@ColdFinger Oof, guys, I feel like an ass after reading more of the series. I've got nothing but horror now, not plattitudes about how complicated adoption is...

MarianTheLibrarian

This series has been haunting my brain for the last 2 days. I don't know how to handle all of the anger/sadness/confusion/outrage/overwhelming feelings.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

This series is proof we need good investigative journalism in this country. Who was doing anything about it? Authorities? They didn't even know the laws these people were breaking! And if they did, they didn't do shit about it. I bet there are more than a few fires under some deserving asses (those asses that haven't been fired, that is) this week.

EdgyLatinist

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Did you look at the PDF of the document that was supposed to attest to the parenting skills of that one couple? The document that the cop and the therapist apparently didn't notice was fake? I've seen some shittily composed legal documents before, but I can't see someone remotely responsible handing over a living human being based on that document alone.

bocadelperro

@EdgyLatinist OMG. I've gotten 419 scam emails that have looked more legitimate than that.

lulu1

Hey, it turns out that not doing background checks or vetting the people who are taking these kids doesn't ensure the safety or well-being of the children! No shit, you fucking moron.dich vu lam dep sau khi sinh

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