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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

43

Things I Could Do with My Ped Egg Foot Shavings

1. Use with macaroni and glitter glue to make someone a thoughtful handcrafted birthday card.

2. Fill a piñata!

3. Place between the pages of 17 copies of The Fountainhead; leave in public spaces.

4. Stuff into a burlap pillowcase to control the dreams of my enemies.

5. Sprinkle on pasta for a hearty homemade meal.

6. Combine with dandruff collection; have Christmas in July with tiny, meltless snowmen.

7. Create a sacred circle to ward off the undead.

8. Stir into night cream and test on the elderly as a possible youth elixir.

9. Mix with fertilizer so that my plants will know the taste of human skin.

10. Throw over my shoulder into the river where we grew up, and wish that you could come home.

 

Photo via ebolasmallpox/flickr.

Mia Hooper lives and works in California, where she spends a lot of time thinking about gross things. She also blogs about clothes at Reading in Skirts and tweets @figwiggin.



43 Comments / Post A Comment

Jinxie

D:

beatrix

Wonderful. I'm very happy! @l

frigwiggin

IT'S MEEEEEEE

frigwiggin

Being the second (and third) comment on this post is probably gauche but I don't care IT'S MEEEEEEEE

Jinxie

@frigwiggin Yay, congrats! And sorry the first comment on your post was me making a horrified emoticon face.

SarahP

@frigwiggin YAY! And EW! <3

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin Hooray! This was wonderful.

-ly gross.

Setec Astrology

I first read this post's title as "Things I Wish I Could Do with My Ped Egg Foot Shavings," which was slightly more disturbing.

[sic]

11. Package into tiny plastic bags; market as organic, chunky cocaine.

iceberg

@[sic] artisanal small batch cocaine! Just like Gwyneth likes it.

large__marge

IS THIS WHAT I GET FOR NOT BEING GROSSED OUT BY THE TRYPOPHOBIA POST YESTERDAY?!?!?!?!

adorable-eggplant

@large__marge I feel invincible! Neither of these things faze me! :D

lemonadefish

@large__marge THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN HOLES COULD EVER BE!!!

AceofSix@twitter

Also see: http://bit.ly/19Fcctt

Dirty Hands

@AceofSix@twitter No no no, gross!!!

stonefruit

YEP. G-d I'm so gross.

Foot skin peelings are so weird and plastic-y looking, right?

SarahP

@stonefruit Like bits of fingernails! Bodies are weird.

Amphora

@stonefruit As a kid I used to play "pedicure" with my mom's feet. Gross party!

alannaofdoom

I say we band together and make number 3 happen, who's with me?

karencarrot

You know what this made me think of? I learned somewhat recently that Microplane zesters were originally designed for shaving foot skin. I wonder which manicurist first looked at her shaving tool and thought, you know what this would be good for?! Shaving a nice chunk of parmigian-Reggiano into my risotto!

karencarrot

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll
Whoops, I remembered wrong. They were invented for woodworking and adopted by cooks before being offered as pedicure tools. Thanks for pointing that out!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@karencarrot
No worries! I just love that article (mostly because I love my Microplanes) and wanted to share it!

iceberg

Figgy! Aaaahhhh hahaha aaaahhhhh. Gross and funny.

LaLoba

Wait WTF is a Ped Egg, I'm imagining something truly disturbing, which is like a cheesegrater shaped like an egg that you ... grate the skin off of your feet with??? And then it collects in this terrible anti-easter egg?? What in god's name!

jenjenboben

@LaLoba That's pretty much exactly it. And the shavings get collected in the egg.

fabel

@LaLoba hahaha your guess was totally accurate, yeah-- bet you didn't want that to happen!

glitterary

Okay seriously, how callused do your feet need to be to make using a ped egg be not painful? Because on the one hand I have a fair amount of hard skin, but the thought of effectively taking a cheese grater to my feet sounds like it would not make things better.

shantasybaby

@glitterary My feet are just naturally very calloused, so the Ped Egg barely even makes a dent (but it does help!) I have really rough elbows, too, does anyone know why I'm curesed with this?

Rhinestone Eater@twitter

@glitterary: Get some organic coconut oil from Trader Joe's. It's great for cooking, and for your skin. It gets really hard, but melts on contact with your skin, and it's amazing on crusty elbows and ashy legs.

Just don't get carried away, or you'll get all sticky. Not that I'd know anything about that.

fabel

@glitterary I'm the same as shantasybaby--- I can barely even feel the ped egg, & it does nothing on my horrifically calloused feet. Sometimes I've used a razor instead :-| (which I also can't feel)

fondue with cheddar

@glitterary Yeah, I don't think my feet are calloused enough for this.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

You could fry them and make long pork rinds. They'd probably be vegan too, if the donor was.

jenjenboben

I laughed and gagged. Impressive combo.

Jocasta Carr

This is disgusting and hilarious. Well done!

hotdog

This was completely disgusting. Way to go? This will surely bring new readership.

area@twitter

This was disgusting and wonderful. Why are little shavings of our bodies so fascinating?! WHY.

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