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Thursday, September 19, 2013

81

The Stereotype Pie

Previously: The Bro Pie

Ann Friedman contains multitudes.

81 Comments / Post A Comment

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

100% Picked out plaid flannel shirts with lesbian lover

pajamaralls

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm pretty sure anytime my mom asks "Why do you like flannel/plaid so much?" it's code for "Are you a lesbian?"

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@pajamaralls My mom's questions were, "More Ani Difranco tickets, huh?"

stavros

Hahahahaha one of the best article i've seen@m

adorable-eggplant

I put up my hair in a bun with the nearest pointy object: it is a knitting needle.

districter

25%-Weekend hikes with salumi and cheese picnic lunches that end at a winery
25%-Instagramming a pic of something I made from scratch that there is no need to make from scratch
25%-Bribing friends to invite me over for Breaking Bad since I won't buy cable
25%-Being really into white wine

A. Louise

@districter I am 100% behind your pie it sounds lovely!

adorable-eggplant

@districter 100% Just bought tickets to a Wine & Cheese fest in a small town.

BosomBuddy

@districter Even just talking about Breaking Bad makes me a stereotype. Same goes for any other show, eg. BSG, Doctor Who (but those are all great so who cares?)

RK Fire

@districter If you have an Amazon Prime account, you can just pay for the episodes individually so you don't have to bribe friends!

garli

@RK Fire As some one with cable I love when my friends bring snacks/beer/wine to watch something they don't get at home. Everyone wins. (They're invited empty handed of course but BONUS SNACKS)

hussified

For all that is good and holy, I cannot think of a beer named after a bicycle part.

lasso tabasco

@hussified Fat Tire?

districter

@hussified Shift I assume counts, picture of bike gears on the can. Good beer!

moon flavor

@hussified Shift!

That segment of the pie is totally me and my friends.

nyikint

@hussified wheel? gear? seat? ..helmet??

lasso tabasco

20% beginning sentences with "When I was in Europe..."
30% only saying accepting dates with bearded men
50% knitting while singing along to the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Atheist Watermelon

@lasso tabasco I would definitely share this particular pie with you :-D

A. Louise

30% Making dinner from scratch with local, organic ingredients and getting Taco Bell for dinner the next day

20% Telling people "Yeah, I used to be into them, but then I heard them on the radio and kind of got sick of their music" then going back to my desk to listen to "We Can't Stop" to power up after lunch

10% Considering opening an Etsy store while refusing to finish the cross-stitch I'm making for my mom because the canvas is an "annoying color"

30% Having meltdowns about not being engaged while making faces at the toddlers we're getting drunk next to at the Mexican restaurant's bar

RNL
RNL

@A. Louise

100% bragging about membership in Community Sustained Fishery while secretly fretting about credit card debt.

BosomBuddy

I can't get into Wolf Hall. What is wrong with me?

angelan

@BosomBuddy Probably nothing, but get a check up just to be sure.
I need to locate these stereotype people - no one I know has even heard of Wolf Hall and all I want to do is talk about it! (have resorted to forcibly loaning it out)

Story #2

@BosomBuddy If you can get it on audiobook, that might help? I know a lot of people who found it hard to get into because they had trouble figuring out who was talking; the reader makes it pretty clear who is talking when, because the characters have very distinct voices. (Cromwell's is gravelly, Wolsey's is fluting, More's makes your skin creep, etc.) That's how I got into it, and then I got the sequel on paper and swallowed it whole.

Jinxie

@BosomBuddy I wish I knew, because whatever it is is also wrong with me. I keep trying, I really want to like it, the subject matter is interesting - I guess the writing style just doesn't work for me? The present tense thing is kind of maddening.

Amphora

@Jinxie My mom just read this for her book club and I was so excited to talk about it with her (because I adored it) but she couldn't get into it either (which is surprising since she usually loves long detailed books). The tense/not indicating who was saying what was a big part of it.

Hot Doom

@BosomBuddy I'm trying so hard too! I want to like it because I loved Beyond Black. I just got around 100 pages in and I think my 'into it' switch maaaay have just gotten switched, but I fell asleep before I was sure. Who can say???

Diana

@angelan

Hunnnggggh can we please talk about Wolf Hall please I'm 2/3 done and it's so amazing

BosomBuddy

@Diana Who are you people? I would like to join your tribe. It convinces me to keep trying, for a short while. I'll probably complain in open thread next week how I've given up.

BosomBuddy

For me, many of these are half-truths. I don't need karaoke or drink, sadly, to slur "Don't Stop Believin'", nor do I need to be stoned to eat too many Doritos. They just have to be on and around. I mean, booze and pot help, but I rarely need that first indulgence to get to the next one. If that makes sense.

Also, mentioned upthread: white wine. I love nothing more than getting my day drunk or after work slow drunk on with white wine. I tell myself I'm not the stereotype because I drink it out of a juice glass.

meetapossum

@BosomBuddy I often put ice cubes in my white wine after work because I learned from my mom.

BosomBuddy

@meetapossum They do this in southern France, so now you can double the stereotype. "I put ice in my wine because Europe." Sophistication/obnoxiousness: accomplished.

Apocalypstick

@meetapossum Try using frozen grapes instead; they won't melt and water down your wine and then you can eat them!

A. Louise

@meetapossum white wine with ice cubes in it is my best sorry/notsorry.

adorable-eggplant

@Apocalypstick Mini-sangria!

Hellcat

@meetapossum My friend and I "cut" our wine with seltzer because we are low-class and also because we'll finish that shit in all of 45 minutes if we don't and also have headaches. Yep, we're fancy over here!

Bittersweet

@BosomBuddy et al: That sniffling sound you hear is Jolie shedding tears of joy and pride at this thread.

meetapossum

@Apocalypstick I like this idea, but it assumes that I do a lot more planning when it comes to getting wine drunk than I do.

avidbiologist

50% standing in line at CVS with essentially a small mountain of pads because they are on sale and very much needed (and then I'll never run have to buy them again, ahahaha-oh wait), and the only other item I am buying is chocolate BECAUSE OF REASONS.

25% refusing to get barefoot wine because 'that is a relic of my college days; I am more sophisticated now and I buy TRADER JOES WINE', and then when a friend asks me what kind of booze to get me as thanks for dog-sitting, I reply "oh, you know, a box of wine is fine. Any kind. I'm not picky."

25% being obsessed with That Obscure Place Abroad I Went To That Time, You've Probably Never Heard Of It But It's my iPhone Background and Changed Me Forever.(this would take up 100% of the pie but there are extenuating circumstances that I believe exempt me from being actually the most horrible person ever for this)

elissa_what?

@avidbiologist I do the period supplies/chocolate double purchase EVERY MONTH. And feel a little silly about it every month. But whatever! These are my needs.

adorable-eggplant

@elissa_what? Grocery stores: why not just go ahead and shelve them together? Give me what I want.

avidbiologist

@elissa_what? I KNOW RIGHT. I have stopped feeling shame about it, because hey, this is what's up.

Audley

@avidbiologist I'm not currently responsible for grocery shopping for my meals, so I feel like all of my grocery runs are themed. Friday night: frozen pizza, ice-cream bars and apple cider vinegar for my hair.
Dreadful cold: tissues, green tea, lemon tea and chocolate cookies.

lora.bee

@adorable-eggplant I actually saw a coupon for chocolate bars posted ON the period supplies shelves in a drug store. My friend & I did a slow clap.

noodge

@avidbiologist TRUFAX: magnesium is plentiful in chocolate, the darker the chocolate the more magnesium, and magnesium is very helpful in alleviating edginess and decreasing cramps. So you're not being a stereotype, you're treating yourself medicinally with micronutrients.

avidbiologist

@noodge omg that is perfect. I want that fact printed (mirrored) on one of those knuckle rings so that whenever anyone judges me I can just punch them in the face and educate them at the same time.

(not really) (but kind of)

adorable-eggplant

@noodge I am a witch doctor! Yesss.

@lora.bee I once saw a coupon for cheese and garbage bags.... I don't even know.

whizz_dumb

@avidbiologist Somebody be a grocery store anarchist and stash a stack of chocolate bars by the period supplies every time you go shopping.

meetapossum

100% planning an apple-picking trip every year

adorable-eggplant

@meetapossum Jealous! Mostly because you have a fall, and here it is still late summer.

LRMG

Was it the Whole Foods that is kind of normalish or was it the Whole Foods that is like a bizarre temple to food worship and is two stories and has an olive bar that is larger than most peoples apartments? I feel like this is important to know, for ... pie related reasons.

Hot Doom

@LRMG I think the Pasadena one is sort of both.

cuminafterall

100% updating my Facebook profile picture from one photo of me & my husband to another photo of me and my husband

bevrockin

@cuminafterall My current Facebook profile pic is a photo of a photo of me and my husband. PHOTOCEPTION.

noodge

@cuminafterall this is me.

rosaline

The post-hike juice is truly delicious, though!

LacunaKale

Somewhere after sticking that pro marriage equality sticker on your car before driving to the organic restaurant after your coop shift, you learn to relax into it. Then you try and find a ride to the natural living fair, not so much out of trying to conserve gas (which is good too) but more because you want to be able to knit on the trip up.

ColdFinger

98% telling love interest about the penis hole mind control?
(2% using the words "penis hole.")

ColdFinger

@ColdFinger or possibly
50% telling my friends i love them when drunk
50% laughing while stuffing my face while stoned

visions&revisions

@ColdFinger I told my boyfriend about it and he was WAY more disturbed than I expected...I guess my uncontrollable (though, I maintain, not maniacal) laughter didn't help

ColdFinger

@visions&revisions Yes, I, too, found it to be an unexpectedly uncomfortable conversation.

eraserface

I propose to modify 30% to plaid shirts (for beards) and ugly-cute boots (for bangs)

Spaghettius!

20% Baking soda & ACV is a revelation and I will tell you about it
20% Kindle app full of free recipe ebooks, mostly involving kale
60% I Should Definitely, Like, Blog About Something

Alli525

@Spaghettius! I don't suppose you happen to have a list of those free recipe ebooks... do ya? because my mouth just dropped open and i started googling furiously to (almost) no avail.

Spaghettius!

@Alli525 Hi! I don't know whether you have a kindle, but you don't need to have one in order to download books through Amazon. You would just need to download the Kindle smartphone app and/or a Kindle for PC/Mac app for your computer. The free e-cookbooks (cook e-books?) can be found just browsing Amazon's selection. Sometimes they also have deals where their already-cheap ebooks are free as well. The quality of these books ranges from okay to highly questionable, but if you have a terrible cookbook habit like me, at least it cost you nothing for a change :) happy browsing!

Spaghettius!

@Spaghettius! I'd be a bit wary of trusting the baking-related recipes unless you know the source (somtimes a food blogger makes an ebook and YMMV) but since stovetop recipes are pretty forgiving, I don't worry too much about a typo in the book ruining everything since I'll be adjusting it to my preferences anyway.

redheaded&crazy

80% HOCKEYYYYYY
20% saying I'm sorry

up cubed

30% evangelizing about my IUD
30% not washing my hair with shampoo anymore
40% using work time to seem clever in my dating profile and/or the hairpin

Diana

100% seeing the fucking One Direction movie in the theaters

.......for the second time

angelinha

80% Earnestly telling friends why 1 fro-yo place is better than the other 2 fro-yo places that you can see from the door of the first fro-yo place
20% Tracking points at fro-yo place with every purchase so that once I spend $50 (again) I get another $5 free

Spaghettius!

@angelinha 16 Handles?

skeedaddle

Are you me? Not only do I stop at Whole Foods after hiking, but I stop at the actual Pasadena Whole Foods on my way back to my hipster neighborhood where everyone has bangs and beards and drinks bike-related beer. (My neighbor has a pop up unlicensed Sunday evening music venue in his yard. I'm thinking about getting a chicken. I hate myself a little.)

HereComesTheMetricSystem

25% My fridge contains more than 5 independent microbrews and more than 5 kinds of cheese
30% Feeling good that only 50% of my tshirts come from webcomics / online jokes .... but the other come from donating to KEXP / public radio
25% Actually going through the closet and counting how many cardigans I own

20% Reading all these comments and wanting to set up a Hairpin meetup that's a hike in SoCal!

I don't know what stereotype I am but I'm doing it 110% !

( secret 10% double and triple checking my post to make sure the math is right )

up cubed

@HereComesTheMetricSystem I would go to this hike! Are you on the LA Pinners Facebook page? Let's make this happen!?

HereComesTheMetricSystem

@upupandaway not on the FB page (I put in a request to join though). Would using the Google group work?

larouxvixen

50% of the pictures on my phone are of my cat.
The other 50% of the pictures on my phone are of food (mainly cake).

frigwiggin

33% mailing in the unnecessary/incorrectly assigned extra charges to the DMV because I don't have the time to go down there, but adding a sticky note detailing my dissatisfaction with having to pay this $13 to the check because that'll show 'em

gunhandbags

You can find me and my friends slurring thru "Don't stop believing" anytime the song hits the radio, drink or no drink. Steve P, Journey, best band of all time..
Mary, www.gunhandbags.com

Andrei Iordache@facebook

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lulu1

I put up my hair in a bun with the nearest pointy object: it is a knitting needle.dich vu cham soc sau khi sinh

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