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Friday, September 13, 2013

36

Shame the Children

In the fatherly fashion do – and don't – taking social media by storm, Utah dad Scott Mackintosh turned a pair of his own jeans into short-shorts to demonstrate his unhappiness with his teenaged daughter's skimpy wardrobe.

"I heard my wife ask our daughter if she would please change into some longer shorts before leaving [for dinner]. She said NO!" Mackintosh wrote on his wife's blogBecky Mack's Blog of Mild Chaos.

"Instead of turning her response and disrespectful attitude into a major battle, I decided to make a 'small' statement on how her short-shorts maybe aren't as 'cute' as she thinks!"

-People

Mom of 30-Year-Old Man Spends All Day Staring at iPhone to Shame Son Into Realizing He Has Lost All Natural Curiosity

Martha Andrews, 58, admits it may have been a pipe dream to imagine that her son might grow up into a man who was marginally interested in other people and capable of holding a conversation.

Which is why, during a recent visit from Travis Andrews, 30, she decided to bring her phone along to a family dinner and look at it the whole time. "I literally just stared at my phone the whole time. The waitress asked what I wanted. I just stared at my phone. Friends of the family approached our table. I stared at my phone. I stared at it all night no matter what even when I was driving."

Andrews knows some people might find what she did extreme, but insists she did it out of love.

"Obviously, your worst nightmare as a parent would be your daughter showing off her body in inappropriate clothing, so I am very grateful that what I'm coping with—my son's complete, chronic and yet borderline socially acceptable lack of even basic social skills, empathy and engagement with the world—is not in that realm. That said, my son is the light of my life. And I tried to show him in the most loving way my concern about who he has become.”

Andrews says she was willing to risk Travis’ being angry and embarrassed about her behavior to make her point. Ironically, Travis did not notice his mother’s odd behavior, as he was staring at his phone throughout the entire night as well.

"We got home that night. I went to bed, and I got a text from him: 'Mom. Thanks for a great night. Oh also thanks for not dressing like a whore, because I would have had to call you out on Facebook and Twitter and maybe even Vine. Love Travis.'"

Photo via shareski/flickr.

Sarah Miller is the author of Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn and The Other Girl. She lives in Nevada City, CA.

36 Comments / Post A Comment

iceberg

OK that People article finally gave the daughter's age - she's NINETEEN for christ's sake.
I thought she must have been like twelve or something since the dad felt he had a right to make a thing about her fashion (but apparently not to force her to wear "appropriate" clothing)

vittoriama

Definitely on the list @v

adorable-eggplant

1) Does the Dad not consider that short shorts on an old man are probably a different level of cute? 2) I was promised by someone who knows someone who is a clothes buyer that short shorts for men are THE THING next year (season?).

iceberg

@adorable-eggplant Australia is way ahead of the curve ;) http://www.cinz.com.au/images/content/alby-style-makeover.jpg

adorable-eggplant

@iceberg Goodness, that photographer picked quite the ANGLE there.

adorable-eggplant

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict "Short shorts of tough material for informal wear" You are doing it right, Men of Australia.

gtrachel

(1) The dad in question has great legs, frankly, and the shorts look good on him.

(2) However, this line in parentheses made my skin crawl: "(hmmm….something’s wrong with this picture. Why was my wife feeding the animals and not one of our teens? Great question.)"

Do I detect a whiff of overbearing patriarchy in this family?

Slanted & Enchanted

@gtrachel My skin crawling moment was "no sleeveless shirts unless playing sports or on the beach." Say what? Especially since the intimation was that this rule is only for his daughters, not his sons. I wasn't aware that shoulders are provocative.

formergr

@gtrachel I haven't read the article because I'm lazy, but it does say above that he is in Utah, so they could be Mormon. If so, no sleeveless shirts for women is pretty common.

Megasus

@gtrachel He DOES have great legs!

Queen Elisatits

@gtrachel
I think with the feeding the animals think he meant why wasn't one of his kids feeding the animals, not why was his wife not feeding a kid. (I think that's what you meant and why it made your skin crawl)
and yea no showing shoulders thing is totally a Mormon rule but if the daughter was showing her knees (also a Mormon taboo) they might just be picking and choosing.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

The last paragraph very nearly made me do a spit take at my desk.

regina dentata

"Obviously, your worst nightmare as a parent would be your daughter showing off her body in inappropriate clothing"

Yes. The worst. Worst nightmare. Give me a car accident or leukemia ANY day, just no booty shorts puh-lease!

iceberg

@regina dentata (it's a joke, not a serious article)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@regina dentata OMG My parents would not be able to handle me wearing short shorts in public, which is why I express myself through arson.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Is there something the Internet can collectively do to shame this dad for his, at best, average writing and spelling?

MrsTeacherFace

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
He sure does not like to use adverbs where adverbs are supposed to go.

MoxyCrimeFighter

Maybe she wasn't so much embarrassed by her dad as completely enraged that he felt he had the right to tell her what she should do with her body, how she should feel about her body, how she should allow the opinions of strangers to influence her decisions about her body - and was too inarticulate with anger, or maybe from a vocabulary that's been denied to her her entire life, to tell him to shut the fuck up.

Bookgerm

WWMPWD?

(What would Miss Piggle Wiggle do?)

RubeksCube

@Bookgerm Better question: What Would Miss Piggy Do? (the answer has a "HIIII-YAA!" in it somewhere, I'm sure)

adorable-eggplant

@Bookgerm Didn't Miss. Piggle Wiggle poison a kid to teach them a lesson?

barefoot cuntessa

FWIW I have seen a complete stranger's scrotum while he was wearing too short shorts. We were at a winery and he was sitting in a chair cross legged, enjoying his wine. I have not seen a stranger's vulva due to her short shorts.

cuminafterall

1. I love that she posted the photos of her dad to her Tumblr.

2. Nothing encapsulates the patriarchy's gross relationship with female bodies quite like the phrase "modest is hottest." Vom vom vom vom vom.

iceberg

@cuminafterall "If you want to be sexually attractive to men, don't be sexually attractive to men"

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@cuminafterall re: 2. SERIOUSLY THOUGH IT IS THE WORST

The Wub

In Germany, dad wears a dress and nail polish to support five-year-old son. In Utah, dad wears daisy dukes to shame nineteen-year-old daughter. Super.

Laughable Walrus

@The Wub Somehow, when I first saw a summary of this story a few days ago, I thought the story was that the dad had made himself some jorts in solidarity to support his daughter's right to short shorts when his wife was trying to make her change. Still a weird family dynamic when I think back on it, but I like my version better.

MrsTeacherFace

I'm not going to support the guy's attitude, but when I'm in public (even if the "public" is my extended family) with my family, I have a certain expectation that does not include, say, my 19 year old cousin wearing a see-through shirt and short shorts at my grandmother's house for Easter. Is that wrong?

Away Laughing

Oh, what? I saw the daughter's tumblr post with the pictures about a week ago, and the way she phrased it it seemed like her dad had cut his shorts to defend her from her mom's comments. I don't think she took away the lesson he meant to give. (Which is good, because the lesson is stupid.)

lulu1

I think with the feeding the animals think he meant why wasn't one of his kids feeding the animals, not why was his wife not feeding a kid. (I think that's what you meant and why it made your skin crawl)
and yea no showing shoulders thing is totally a Mormon rule but if the daughter was showing her knees (also a Mormon taboo) they might just be picking and choosing.
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mangthai

I think with the feeding the animals think he meant why wasn't one of his kids feeding the animals, not why was his wife not feeding a kid.

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