Wherefore art thou awash
with the sticky salve of sadness?
Is it because of Brenda?
And what she said at the company-wide
lunchtime seminar yesterday?
You know what?
Brenda needs to learn to shut her mouth.
When the sea is calm and green
And the sky grins in its darkened eternity
Offering numerous numinous starry winks
I feel at home in the world
and I also feel like telling you
That when you clip your fingernails on the train
We all think it’s absolutely disgusting.
You’re like Jared from those Subway commercials:
Nobody likes you.
Please don’t run!
Another train’s a-comin’!
Listen — can you hear it?
It’s motorin’ and hummin’!
And anyhow, that one you missed —
It really ain’t so grand —
In fact, it just got hijacked
By a mariachi band.
Photo via superamit/flickr.
Josh Lefkowitz writes poems and sometimes plays and/or essays. But mostly poems. He won the 2013 Wergle Flomp humor poetry prize.