Tuesday, September 17, 2013


Three Alternative Poems For Your Morning Commute

Greetings!  Commuter!

Wherefore art thou awash

with the sticky salve of sadness?

Is it because of Brenda?

And what she said at the company-wide

lunchtime seminar yesterday?

You know what?

Brenda needs to learn to shut her mouth.



When the sea is calm and green

And the sky grins in its darkened eternity

Offering numerous numinous starry winks

I feel at home in the world

and I also feel like telling you

That when you clip your fingernails on the train

We all think it’s absolutely disgusting.

You’re like Jared from those Subway commercials:

Nobody likes you.



Please don’t run!

Another train’s a-comin’!

Listen — can you hear it?

It’s motorin’ and hummin’!

And anyhow, that one you missed —

It really ain’t so grand —

In fact, it just got hijacked

By a mariachi band.



Photo via superamit/flickr.

Josh Lefkowitz writes poems and sometimes plays and/or essays.  But mostly poems.  He won the 2013 Wergle Flomp humor poetry prize.

7 Comments / Post A Comment


These really speak to my experience.


I have taken
the seat
that was empty
next to you

and which
you were probably
for your purse

Forgive me
it was there
so empty
and I am wearing an aircast, what is WRONG with you people?!


i like it.... look ... listen ... enjoy ...@m


Ladies (always ladies) jockey for position
near the train doors, rising from their seats
as we pull out from the station before their station,
listing under their several bags
(always several-- what must they carry?)

Do they fear the doors will close
before they disembark, delivering them
against their will across state lines?

Are their bosses clockwatchers?
Will ten seconds' economy make a difference?
Are their bosses donut-buyers? Do they plan
to beat their coworkers to the Boston Cream?

Do they fear drowning on the platform?
The currents of commuters can pull you under
if you don't ride the wave toward the turnstiles
confidently, out front.


@cuminafterall I want to read this to the chick who kept trying to rest her backpack on my shoulder this morning.


Currently, mine goes more like this:

Oh god, I hate LA
MERGE, motherfucker, MERGE
So much concrete
So many cars
Oh god, I hate LA


When you intervene in a screaming match
Because the bus driver is siding with the man
Even though he is shouting "FUCK YOU YOU DUMB BROAD"
You might regret it.

Or maybe not.


I very like it!!!!!!!

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