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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

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What Is the Difference Between Mascara, Eye-Liner and Concealer? Six Philosophical Inquiries

"My job, as CEO, is to hire the right people. My job is to know a lot of engineers, editors, venture capitalists, and salespeople—and to bring them together. Knowing the difference between mascara, concealer, and eye-liner is not my job."

-Bryan Goldberg, founder and CEO of the new women's website Bustle

I. THE THINGLINESS OF THE THING

"What, in truth, is a thing insofar as it is a thing? When we ask this question we wish to know the thing-being (the thingliness) of the thing. The point is to learn the thingliness of the thing. To this end we must become acquainted with the sphere within which are to be found all those beings which we have long called things.

"A mere thing is, to take an example, a tube of mascara. It is long, thin, plastic, blue, cylindrical, small, and it says “VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH” on its side in silver lettering. We can notice all these features in the mascara. We take note of its characteristics. Yet such characteristics represent something proper to the mascara. They are its properties. The thing has them. The thing? What are we thinking of if we now call the thing—the tube of mascara—to mind? Obviously the thing is not merely a collection of characteristics, and neither is it the aggregate of those properties through which the collection arises. The thing, as everyone thinks she knows, is that around which the properties have gathered. One speaks, then, of the core of the thing—the core of the mascara."

II. THE DIALECTIC

"In Hegel’s famous woman-and-mascara parable, a hidden dialectic follows the same pattern. Before encountering the mascara, the woman is potentially free but not actually so, for she has never been exposed to the freeing possibility of eyelash enhancement. The mascara symbolizes God, and when the woman becomes dependent on VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH the woman becomes the master, gaining 'freedom.'"

III. THE VEIL OF IGNORANCE

"It is assumed, then, that the parties do not know certain kinds of particular facts. First of all, no one knows the shade of the mascara, the brand of the tube; nor does she know the cost of the cosmetic, whether or not it is waterproof, and the like. Nor, again, does anyone know the same for the compact of concealer or the tube of eye-liner. More than this, I assume that the parties do not know the particular circumstances of their own eyelashes. They do not know, for example, the particular situation with the eyelashes—have they been curled?—at this moment in time. The parties must also not know the contingencies that conspired to create this tube of mascara.

"It may be protested that the condition of the veil of ignorance is irrational. The restrictions on particular information are of fundamental importance, however. Without them we would not be able to work out any definite theory of mascara at all. We would have to be content with a vague formula stating that this mascara, VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH, is better than the other mascara, and we would not, at present anyway, be able to determine it."

IV. EXISTENTIALISM

"If one considers an article of manufacture as, for example, a tube of mascara or a compact of concealer—one sees that it has been made by an artisan who had a conception of it; and he has paid attention, equally, to the conception of a tube of mascara and to the pre-existent technique of production which is a part of that conception and is, at bottom, a formula. Thus the tube of mascara is at the same time an article producible in a certain manner and one which, on the other hand, serves a definite purpose, for one cannot suppose that a man would produce a tube of VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH without knowing what it was for. Let us say, then, of the tube of mascara that its essence—that is to say the sum of the formulae and the qualities which made its production and its definition possible—precedes its existence. The presence of such-and-such a tube of mascara or compact of concealer is thus determined before my eyes. Here, then, we are viewing the world from a technical standpoint, and we can say that production of VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH precedes its existence."

V. AN IMPORTANT MOMENT OF CLARITY

"If her functioning as a female is not enough to define woman, if we decline also to explain her through 'the eternal feminine,' and if nevertheless we admit, provisionally, that women do exist, then we must face the question, 'what is a woman?'"

VI. SOLIPSISM

VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH does not exist. Nothing exists.

 

We very much look forward to Bustle's contribution to this ongoing discussion, and others.



169 Comments / Post A Comment

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This is perfect.

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As a fellow ginger, I recommend getting your lashes tinted. I have been doing this for over six years and love not having to wear mascara on my bottom lashes. I get black, it lasts about 5 weeks and is about $20 with tip (also, the dye is vegetable oil based). @me

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EMMAAAAA INCREDIBLE

honey cowl

"Rebuttle." is an actual word used in the linked article. I AM DEAD.

stonefruit

@honey cowl my eyes my eyes

also, the INJUSTICE of it all that Bustle is not blocked at my work but The Toast is. ?!?!

zamboni

@honey cowl "rebustle" is an inevitability
@stonefruit NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

planforamiracle

@honey cowl I saw that and stopped reading immediately. ARGH.

MollyculeTheory

@honey cowl Rebuttle (v): To buttle again. Alfred did a frightful job seeing Mrs. Brougham in so he was obliged to rebuttle.

stonefruit

STANDING OVATION.

I mean this is some next-level ish.

Lily Rowan

I am freaked out by the fact that the Valley Wag article linked to here...links to this article! (I realize editing is a thing that exists, but still.)

leonstj

@Lily Rowan causality is a lie

leonstj

oh man that rawls drop alone makes the 15k of "philosophy degree" student loan debt i'm still carrying in my early 30s completely worth it. this is fucking awesome.

rathermarvelous

The only sane response to silliness is truly next-level operatic silliness. Applause.

And then Katie said

Aaaaaaand... mic drop. That was PERFECTION.

Mae
Mae

Amazing!

mabellegueule

Awww, poor Bustle doesn't even have a hope to live up to this kind of writng.

Good thing his interview assured us that it would be a feminist website though.

katherine

based on his latest interview this needs a sequel: What Is An IUD???

noReally

Oh my god the Books section. I can hear the editorial meeting now. "Things we need for sure: Cocktail recipes, movies, celebrity tie-ins.. and something feminist-y. How about, 'Can men write women well?'"

Faintly Macabre

What does that brush doooo? I bought one the other day on the cheap and it scares me.

Oh no, I've just given away that I am secretly not a lady because I don't know what all the makeups do. Do I have to go to AskMen now?

Also, my new pet theory is that he just said that hoping that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me would get the hint and invite him to play "Not My Job" so he could get Carl Kasell's voice on his home answering machine.

cuminafterall

@Faintly Macabre I have one like that! I use it for blush and then try to brush the blush off on a tissue so I can use it for powder also.

(can you point me in the direction of AskMen, I will go there with you, we can go together)

Myrtle

@Faintly Macabre "Do I have to go to AskMen now?" laughing so hard. Bryan sounds like a peachy CEO. Any Bustle staffers thinking of calling those other places they interviewed at?

supernintendochalmers

I love this. Fuck that guy.

StandardTuber

The pencil is probably the one thing up there that I would feel the most comfortable using.

leonstj

Sidebar: All I could think of when I was reading all of this last night on twitter was like.

Fuck, what if I was a 23 year old writer trying to pitch a story about, like, female sushi chefs, and this was the place that offered me $100 and everywhere else was like "You are awesome and we love it, but we can't pay." And I'm sure there's lots of really cool involved, and I wonder how many of them were like "Oh Cool, I'm working on this new lady blog" and were legit excited, but didn't realize the doucheyness connected and how they must feel now.

supernintendochalmers

@leon s Yeah, I feel bad for the writers and I don't blame them. According to Goldberg most of them are straight out of college, in which case getting paid to write your own stuff ANYWHERE is a great opportunity. I mean, I'm not the biggest Gawker fan either but I like a lot of the writers who have come out of there. ;)

beecaveroad

@leon s I hope people won't hold it against the writers who are working there- so far most of the backlash seems to be directed at Bryan Goldberg. I also don't think it's impossible that the site could transcend its terrible launch if it actually can pay talented people to write for it.

On the other hand, apparently they were offering $100 a day for 4-6 pieces sooooo maybe not.

stuffisthings

@leon s Can we start a Kickstarter to pay ex-Bustlers to write for The Hairpin instead?

Diana

@leon s

Then we send them to The Toast, which will pay them!

SarcasticFringehead

@beecaveroad I mean, I don't have a problem with the site's existence at all (I mean, other than that it looks like more of an aggregation/slideshow kind of place, which is not really my thing). Really what's bothering me is his cluelessness about the existence of other general-interest sites for/by women (This piece sums it up pretty well).

lindackerite

This. Is. Perfection.

stuffisthings

I was hoping they'd take a more Marxian line to be honest. The other women's sites -- if they even exist -- show a real lack of gloss consciousness.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@stuffisthings "The production of too many useful mascara wands results in too many useless people."

14061723@twitter

I'm so puzzled at the very existence of Bustle. Have they never heard of BlogHer? (Which pays its writers, by the way.)

thatslikeyouropinionman

BOOM. This is perfection.

madamvonsassypants

His goals are in all the right places! And the Hairpin gets a juicy shout out! Clearly you ladies are too focused on your periods and cocktails and yoga pants and finding husbands to make REAL MONEY.

"Bustle is a very different company from xojane or thehairpin. I would like for Bustle to be one of the fifty largest sites on the internet within this decade, and I would like to see it generate $100 million in revenue by that point. That's not to say that it is impossible for a feminist site like thehairpin to also achieve this, but I think that we are approaching things differently. Raising a large round of venture capital is one such difference in approach. Partnering with a major media company like Time Warner is another....

There are many great female-focused websites out there, and some great explicitly feminist ones too. Very few have raised venture capital. Very few attract eight-figure advertising revenue. Very few have been acquired for $100,000,000's. My goal is for this to be massive."

(Quote gleaned from Bitch Magazine's piece on Bustle HERE, although there are so many other good ones out there as well.)

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Distraction as provided by makeup presents a covert control of the extent to which new tasks have become soluble by a built-in applicator. Since, moreover, individuals are tempted to avoid such tasks, makeup will tackle the most difficult and most important ones where it is able to mobilize the lashes. Today it does so with mascara. Volumizing in a state of distraction, which is increasing noticeably in all fields of makeup and is symptomatic of profound changes in application, finds in the mascara its true means of lengthening and strengthening.

stuffisthings

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict I liked this so much I logged in on my phone.

erquirk

Thank you for this textual contribution to the discourse of mascara, which is to say, the discourse of mascara qua mascara, and the gap, the constitutive lack, that always already separates "mascara" from mascara-in-itself (i.e., the Real of mascara). Of course, this lack is desire - a repetition of the subject's original desire, to be forced to use "mascara" and (not) thereby be cut off from the Other, from the experience of mascara-in-itself.

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