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Thursday, August 22, 2013

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"A Lady Who Followed Ever Her Natural Bents": Happy Birthday, Dorothy Parker

One of the first writers I discovered all on my own, as a teenager, was Dorothy Parker. I loved her from the very first lines of her biting, witty, and poignant poems about love and hate and life and death and men and women. To me, she reflected a type of writer I hadn’t yet encountered, and one I hoped to become: A woman who wrote with wryness and self-deprecation and honesty about what could be seen as universal life dilemmas, both small and large: One of my favorites of her stories involves a woman waiting for a man to call her, for her depiction of the ecosystem of familiar emotions in that experience.

Parker wasn’t afraid to talk about “lady stuff” (fast forward to 2013 and recent discussions of “mascara and eyeliner”). She wrote of girls wearing glasses and of hating her legs and of heartbreak (and suppressed heartbreak) with the same deft hand that she discussed abortion, suicide, social equality, and civil rights. I highly recommend The Portable Dorothy Parker for a wide-ranging look at her work. Her stories didn’t always have perfectly happy endings, and though she lived with apparent aplomb, all was not rosy in her personal life, because it never is. Parker herself attempted suicide more than once. She dated men who were bad for her, including a married man who got her pregnant. She had an abortion. She was not just the witty, ebullient woman who could hold her liquor and quip better than the men of the Round Table, the working woman who ran in literary circles and seemed to “have it all.” We are complicated. Dorothy Parker was complicated. And she wrote about it.

Today marks the 120th anniversary of her birth. (She was a Jersey girl, born on Aug. 22, 1893, in West End, a village in Long Branch.) I spoke to Kevin Fitzpatrick, president and founder of The Dorothy Parker Society, editor of The Lost Algonquin Round Table, and author of A Journey into Dorothy Parker’s New York and the upcoming Under the Table: A Dorothy Parker Cocktail Guide, to get a whiskey-sour refresher on the woman who left a legacy for many of us to live up to.

Jen: What do you get asked most about Dorothy Parker?

Kevin: People ask me a lot, “Why is Parker still popular?” I think it’s that she was writing about the human condition. Getting your heart broken back then is the same as it is in 2013. If you replace the old-time telephone with the hook with an iPhone, her writing still works; you don’t have to change a single word. Edna St. Vincent Millay is technically a better poet and was super-popular in her time, but she’s not read today. Parker, who is writing about bad bosses, bad relationships, subway rides, taxis, and so forth, is.

Résumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

You mentioned that everyone gets compared to Dorothy Parker. Can you name one of those comparisons that has irked you?

You know, it’s funny: I started Dorothyparker.com in 1998, when Sex and the City was still on HBO, and there were a lot of people who compared Candace Bushnell, or Carrie Bradshaw, to Parker. I never got it. Dorothy Parker wrote "Men I’m not Married to"—trying on their names and being flip about it. Bradshaw was more like a general going into battle. Parker never pined over guys. She wrote about picking herself up and going on.

Let’s discuss her enviable career trajectory. Vanity Fair, Vogue, The New Yorker: How did she do what she did, particularly as a woman in the 1920s?

She joined Vogue when she was 21 and Vanity Fair when she was 24. Those are very early ages to be in very important roles for someone who never got past the 9th grade. She was really a self-made person—all she learned was from books, movies, and magazines. She was the youngest of four kids, and her mom died just before she was five. Her dad died in 1913 when she was 20, and that's when she started sending out submissions. He never saw her success.

She never went to college, but she joined the staff of The New Yorker when it began in 1925, when she was in her early 30s. She was Broadway’s first female drama critic, but when she started working, women didn’t have the right to vote and couldn’t even take out a passport in a maiden name. I think she had a steely resolve, from her father, who worked in the garment business. She was a hard worker when she needed to be, but was also a procrastinator and easily distracted. She couldn’t sit and write a novel; she wrote short stories and plays and screenplays and collaborated. When she knew she had to write she’d have a friend come over and sit in a room so she wouldn’t just get up and leave.

Imagine if she’d had access to Twitter! Much of her poetry has an Internet-era bloggy style; short, witty bursts of writing.

Yes. She was a deadline writer, and she’s very accessible. You can hold her collected works in your hand.

Which of her works do you feel most says “This is Dorothy Parker”? 

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

― Dorothy ParkerThe Collected Dorothy Parker

That’s a hard one. She wrote a lot about love and loss and loneliness but also about happy things. She wrote about her dogs and made fun of people like Calvin Coolidge. I’d say "Ballade at Thirty-Five," which she wrote not when she was 35 but when she was 30. [Excerpted below.] She’s standing up and saying “I’m not an ingénue, I’m not going to take shit from anyone.” That’s who she is.

Can you talk a bit about her suicide attempts?

She tried to slit her wrists, and she tried sleeping powder. If you read Big Blonde, that’s how she did it. I’ve talked to a couple of friends and fans who are doctors, and what they say is that these attempts were a cry for help. She took all the powders and then ordered in food, for example. [In Big Blonde the character of Hazel Morse is discovered by the housekeeper.] These attempts were in the period from her late 20s to the early 30s, after her divorce had gone through. That was the low, low point. After that she met Alan Campbell, moved to Beverly Hills, and was nominated for two Oscars (for the original Star Is Born and Smash-Up, the Story of a Woman). She was living the good life.

She had a fairly dramatic relationship life, which of course played into what she writes. What sort of men did she date?

She was attracted to younger, good-looking men. Aside from her first husband, who was close in age to her, she primarily dated younger guys who were usually rascals, rakes. She was attracted more to looks than brains. She earned more than both of her husbands (and the second, Alan Campbell, was 11 years younger than she was, and probably bisexual). Her boyfriends were of a type and not necessarily good for her. The worst, Charles MacArthur, was married when she was dating him. He got her pregnant, and she had an abortion. [That is the pregnancy about which Parker is alleged to have said, "how like me, to put all my eggs into one bastard."]

She was also married three times, twice to the same man…

Her first husband was Eddie Parker. I think she did love him. They were married two weeks in 1917 before he went off to the War. When he came back she was famous, and I think the bloom was off the rose. They divorced in the late ‘20s, and then she started with one bad boyfriend after another. She met Alan Campbell in 1932. He did everything for her, took care of her; she had no domestic skills. Campbell and she divorced in 1947, then remarried in 1950. On her second wedding she was under the sheets and said, “Don’t look at the bride, it’s not good luck.” He was very devoted; they were kooky. He’d sign their names as “alananddottie,” no space.

Her early working life sounds like a blast.

In 1923 she was going to Broadway shows five nights a week, writing for Vanity Fair. She’d go to the Algonquin for lunch, and with Robert Benchley she rented an office on 40th and Broadway, in the old New York Opera House, which was demolished in the ‘60s. It was two desks, that’s where they freelanced (they were both married at the time). They’d walk to the Algonquin to have lunch, go to the office, do more work, have a show. When the 11:30 theater let out, they’d hop to a speak—all the speakeasies were on 49th Street between 5th and 6th, and they’d stay all night, and then maybe go to an after-hours party.

SOCIAL NOTE
Lady, lady, should you meet
One whose ways are all discreet,
One who murmurs that his wife
Is the lodestar of his life,
One who keeps assuring you
That he never was untrue,
Never loved another one . . .
Lady, lady, better run!

When we scheduled this call you wrote, “You and I are not like Mrs. Parker to be working at 9 a.m.”

No early morning wake-ups with that schedule!

What are your favorites of her poems?

My favorites are “Inventory” and “Social Note.” They’re timeless.

What do people need to know about Dorothy Parker that often gets forgotten?

A lot of people think of her as martini-drinking dilettante, but she’s not just that. She was very political, that gets lost a lot. When I was working on my book I got her FBI file. It’s three inches thick. She’s been dead almost 50 years, and there’s a lot that’s redacted. She was with John Dos Passos and Hemingway, she was arrested in Boston protesting Vanzetti’s execution. When Hoover came in she ended up on a watch list. She was probably a little bit pink, and she helped found the screenwriters guild in L.A. She gave a lot of time and money to left-wing causes. There’s a reason she left her estate to Martin Luther King, Jr., a man she never met [and on his death, to the NAACP]. She really believed in civil rights. "Arrangement in Black and White," from 1927, is about two women at a dinner party, but it’s really about racial intolerance.

How did the Dorothy Parker Society begin?

I was living on the Upper West Side, and a friend had given me the Parker biography, What Fresh Hell Is This?. It’s really good. Reading it, I figured out Parker and I both lived on West 72nd Street, and whenever I took that train, I’d see her old childhood home, at 214 West 72nd. This was in 1998, and I had this new thing called a digital camera. I thought I could take pictures of all the places Parker had lived on the Upper West Side and put them on the Internet. We were both writers, we were both unlucky in love, we were both Upper West Siders; I identify with what she has to say about life and drinking and friends and lovers. This, I thought, was a person who deserved to have her life told on the Internet. I started the site, and six months later it got really popular. People asked, “Will you do a walking tour and show us these places?”, and we walked from the Upper West Side to the Algonquin Hotel, and then went to a speakeasy. That was how it all started.

INVENTORY
Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

We can’t forget her birthday. What are you and the Society doing for Dorothy Parker’s 120th birthday?

Last year was the first year we went to the Shanty, the bar attached to the New York Distilling Company in Williamsburg. The owner is a big Dorothy Parker fan—he and his wife read “Here We Are” at their wedding—and they make Dorothy Parker Gin. This year, because it’s the 120th anniversary, he’s rolling the price for martinis back to $1.20 each, and we’ll have happy hour from 6 to 7 p.m.

Anyone can come to this?

It’s open to the public. It’s a little speakeasy in a part of Brooklyn that would have been a bohemian village in the ‘20s. We’ll read some poems—last year he rolled out wooden barrels of booze and people jumped on top and read their favorite Parker poems. Someone was standing up, reading a Parker poem off their iPhone, and I was like, This is so meta, so 2012.

Oh, and your latest book, The Dorothy Parker Cocktail Guide, is out in November. What was her favorite drink?

She was a highball fan.  She loved scotch, whiskey sours. Once she was visiting a friend and he asked her what she’d like for breakfast, and she replied, “I’d like a dear little whiskey sour.”

 

BALLADE AT THIRTY-FIVE

This, no song of an ingénue,
This, no ballad of innocence;
This, the rhyme of a lady who
Followed ever her natural bents.

This, a solo of sapience,
This, a chantey of sophistry,
This, the sum of experiments, –
I loved them until they loved me.

Decked in garments of sable hue,
Daubed with ashes of myriad Lents,
Wearing shower bouquets of rue,
Walk I ever in penitence.

Oft I roam, as my heart repents,
Through God's acre of memory,
Marking stones, in my reverence,
"I loved them until they loved me."

Pictures pass me in long review,–
Marching columns of dead events.
I was tender, and, often, true;
Ever a prey to coincidence.

Always knew I the consequence;
Always saw what the end would be.
We're as Nature has made us — hence
I loved them until they loved me.

 

Previously: The Books of Our Childhood Summers

Jen Doll is a regular contributor to The Hairpin.

117 Comments / Post A Comment

SarahP

This is so great! I have read some Parker, but I didn't know anything about her life.

But if we have to choose Team Parker or Team Millay (not read today?! nooo), I'm firmly on Team Millay.

uemmak

@SarahP Exactly! I love Parker but what do they mean that no one reads Millay? Those are fighting words! Teenage me loved Millay with an all consuming passion.

Jen Doll@twitter

@uemmak @sarahP NOTED! Time for an Edna St. Vincent Millay re-read.

or Elsa!

@SarahP I ran away from home in a fit of teenaged angst and was brought home even more sullen and sour and silent, to sit in my room and get lectured at.

A few days later, my 20-something sister (who had left home at 16 herself) sent me an envelope with one type-written page in it. No letter, no note, no nothing. Just Edna St. Vincent Millay's Departure:

It's little I care what path I take,
And where it leads it's little I care;
But out of this house, lest my heart break,
I must go, and off somewhere.

It's little I know what's in my heart,
What's in my mind it's little I know,
But there's that in me must up and start,
And it's little I care where my feet go.

I wish I could walk for a day and a night,
And find me at dawn in a desolate place
With never the rut of a road in sight,
Nor the roof of a house, nor the eyes of a face.

I wish I could walk till my blood should spout,
And drop me, never to stir again,
On a shore that is wide, for the tide is out,
And the weedy rocks are bare to the rain.

But dump or dock, where the path I take
Brings up, it's little enough I care;
And it's little I'd mind the fuss they'll make,
Huddled dead in a ditch somewhere.

"Is something the matter, dear," she said,
"That you sit at your work so silently?"
"No, mother, no, 'twas a knot in my thread.
There goes the kettle, I'll make the tea."

It's the first time I ever sobbed over poetry that cut right to the core of my being, but not the last. A decade later, her poems got me through the death of my first partner, and my copy of her collected works is still studded with Post-Its stuck in when my eyes got too clouded and salt-stung to read another word. Some nights, I fell asleep curled around the book as my only comfort.

harebell

@or Elsa!

My 92-year-old grandma is a constant Edna St. Vincent Millay rereader, too. And she counts as a "someone"! :)

 clara morena

@SarahP My candle burns at both ends;It will not last the night;But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—It gives a lovely light!

Myrtle

@or Elsa! Spoken like one who'd truly left home. My hopscotch education's gaps are sometimes filled in with a shock: this is a perfect fit. Thank you for posting it.

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Martha33

I'm not sure what your point is. However difficult it was to explain to her that "carpe diem" came first, you weren't really walking her through the timeline, you were just telling her that it came first. Saying that you walked someone through a timeline with only two point is sort of stupid. Timelines usually have more than two points, and if one didn't, it'd be a stretch to say it could be "walked through." @me

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jams

Someone was standing up, reading a Parker poem off their iPhone, and I was like, Highster Mobile free

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jamsbond

Her stories didn’t always have perfectly happy endings, and though she lived with apparent aplomb, all was not rosy in her personal life, because it never is. Parker herself attempted suicide more than once

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OhMyGoshYouGuys

This is the best! Dorothy Parker is my favorite lady of literature. The best gift my dad ever gave me was a big fridge magnet of her along with stickers of her quotes on them.

ellbeejay

My best friend and I bonded over Dorothy Parker while we were sad-yet-witty undergraduates. We still do. Thanks for this!

ohmy

That book needs to be in my life right now, because Dorothy Parker and cocktails are the best. I already convinced my roommate that we need to go drink cocktails in her honor. It's going to be a very fun Thursday.

rimz

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WorldofSass

I love this poem, but I'm a poetry dunce: the "they" in "they loved me until..." is mystifying me. She loved her...younger, past selves? Her youthful experiences, which shaped her into the person she is now (then)? Also, I read most of the Portable Dorothy Parker when I was in the process of being eating alive by New York City. Everything about her and her writing managed to both comfort me from my depression and enable it.

Lu2
Lu2

@WorldofSass I'm not so big on the poetry, either, but I think it refers to the men she loved. I take it as a reflection on the particular unfortunate workings of her heart. --i.e., she only loves them until they reciprocate, which kills it for her. One of the verses implies to me that once it becomes real that way, it's too real: she can see how it will turn out, and that's that.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Lu2 Oooh, I like that explanation! I had thought it might had been a general "they," like the people who read her work: once she started to get acclaim it suddenly never felt like enough. But it didn't seem like that was enough, so I think I'll go back and read it as you had, because I think you got it right.

Yankee Peach

I have always loved Mrs.Parker and I am still waiting for my Mr. Benchley. I also feel compelled to share my favorite Parker Poem with you:

Oh life is a glorious cycle of song
A medely of extemporanea
And love is a thing that can never go wrong
And I am Marie of Romania.

stonefruit

@Yankee Peach That is absolutely my favorite one, too :)

Lu2
Lu2

@Yankee Peach I have had a posthumous (post-his humous, not mine, and yes I know the word doesn't work that way) literary crush on Robert Benchley for a couple of decades. He seems like a lovely person and friend, besides being completely hilarious.

Jen Doll@twitter

@worldofsass, I took "they" to mean men, and the poem to be in part about her thirtysomething realization that she'd been choosing the wrong men, or loving the ones who wouldn't love her back, until they did. But I don't actually know if that's true!

queenofbithynia

Edna St. Vincent Millay is technically a better poet and was super-popular in her time, but she’s not read today.

Oh what the fuck

A. come on

B. Dorothy Parker is a legitimate genius but not on account of her poetry.

C. MILLAY not read? Ghost-of-a-thousand-high-school-yearbook-quotes MILLAY? IF ONLY.

sophia_h

This Paris Review interview with her from the '50s remains one of the most splendid things I have ever read.

pterodactgirl

@sophia_h Thank you for posting this. So awesome!

sophia_h

@pterodactgirl She is just so great. "Civilization is coming to an end, you understand."

sophia_h

Oh, and that telephone story! How is this still so true (about men, about friends, about everyone except your mom): "Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that."

ohmy

@sophia_h Just read that story and oh boy, it is so relevant to my interests. Except replace calling with texting, because my expectations are that low.

Linette

I will forever be grateful to my high school English teacher for assigning me Dorothy Parker for the one huge college-type research paper we had to write for her class. Everyone snapped up the recognizable authors immediately, and she told me, "I picked this one out especially for you."

And then I read four biographies and all of her stories and poems in ancient hardbacks from the library and memorized about half of it and was insufferable but blissfully happy forever after. Good teachers, man.

Spaghettius!

Thank you! I loved her ever since I found "Resume" in a library book as a 14 year old. It was the first poem I ever chose to memorize (and the only one I can still recite).
I wish I liked gin and could play piano. Otherwise I was convinced that we are the same person.

cupcakecore

DOROTHY PARKER SMASH!

While I find the portrayal problematic, I couldn't resist!

Ladyface

I love Dorothy Parker so much. I don't think I could pick a favorite poem of hers, but when I was a teenager I wrote "Observation" on my bedroom wall. It goes thus:

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

 clara morena

I was a massive Dorthy Parker fan since I was 13(I have an unhealthy obsession with the 1920s. I loved her short stories and would read then in-between classes. I think she is the reason why I have such as sharp tongue.

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

Nikp

"A Telephone Call" was what made me fall deeper in love with Dorothy Parker (probably because I had just started dating someone). If I ever start acting or whatever, that's going to be my monologue.

My first encounter, and what I still say to myself everyday, was "I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host"

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

This might be one of my favourite things I've read on the Hairpin, ever.

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This is the best! Dorothy Parker is my favorite lady of literature. The best gift my dad ever gave me was a big fridge magnet of her along with stickers of her quotes on them.

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A woman who wrote with wryness and self-deprecation and honesty about what could be seen as universal life dilemmas, both small and large: One of my favorites of her stories involves a woman waiting for a man to call her, for her depiction of the ecosystem of familiar emotions in that experience.
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i was nearly loosing out, i could not focus in my job, my whole life was full of sorrow and i was thinking i should kill the other man my self and put an end to all this until i saw a testimony from a blog on how DR EDIONWE could cast a love spell to bring lovers back no matter what is behind the disappointment. so i decided to write him via email. edionwesolutiontemple@yahoo.com and now all my wishes are exactly as i wanted. She told me everything that has happened secretly in the past and i forgave her as DR EDIONWE instructed me to and she loves me and care for me as i ever wanted. i know there are many spells that do not work but i want to assure all you out there no matter what you have been trough to have faith and believe that this is the final solution to your problem.
Even if my job is taking most of my time, the little free time i have , i will share the good news to everyone in the world because i know that with love brings happiness and hope for a long life.

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Rocking Khan@facebook

Oh, and that telephone story! How is this still so true (about men, about friends, about everyone except your mom): "Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that." digital book publishing

Rocking Khan@facebook

@WorldofSass I'm not so big on the poetry, either, but I think it refers to the men she loved. I take it as a reflection on the particular unfortunate workings of her heart. --i.e., she only loves them until they reciprocate, which kills it for her. One of the verses implies to me that once it becomes real that way, it's too real: she can see how it will turn out, and that's that. Barcelona vs Manchester City Watch Online Live

Rocking Khan@facebook

I will forever be grateful to my high school English teacher for assigning me Dorothy Parker for the one huge college-type research paper we had to write for her class. Everyone snapped up the recognizable authors immediately, and she told me, "I picked this one out especially for you."

And then I read four biographies and all of her stories and poems in ancient hardbacks from the library and memorized about half of it and was insufferable but blissfully happy forever after. Good teachers, man. including Luxury homes in Costa Rica you can find many options of Costa Rica homes for sale

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jocuri cu zombi I have always loved Mrs.Parker and I am still waiting for my Mr. Benchley. I also feel compelled to share my favorite Parker Poem with you:

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